Rituals for Love (9781476761893) (30 page)

“I just enjoyed talking to her. She reminded me that I need to live a little and not be so focused on work. I decided to throw my annual barbecue after all. I mean it is annual tradition. It's a ritual.”

Pop frowned. “You're worried about a barbecue? You don't realize you're already
living
? I have never seen you be more alive than you've been with Jade. You're letting all these people plant seeds in your head—first Davis and now this girl Riley. She may be a nice young lady, but you're just as susceptible as Jade. You said Riley kissed you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, maybe she's not the right person to be taking advice from. You're worried about the things you used to do with your friends and you need to be concerned about creating new rituals with Jade. You said you love this woman. Maybe it's time for you to think about whether or not you want to start some new traditions. Rituals for love and living life with your woman. If not, you need to think about if you want to walk away.”

I
was in my office at Rituals paying some bills. Bria wasn't in and it was wonderful to have peace and quiet. I had already shared what happened with her and of course she gave me an earful. Milan knew too but, thankfully, all I received from her was an “I told you so.”

Bria made sure to tell me all the things Ernest had shared with her about Omar's feelings. It was nothing he hadn't told me during our last lunch together. I understood her concern, but I was a big girl. I knew how to make my bed and I knew how to lie in it. Whether I liked it or not.

My cell phone rang. I looked at the screen before I answered. “Hey, Hal, how are you?”

“I'm doing good and Genesis is coming along great. I haven't seen you or Cain all week.”

“I had some responsibilities I needed to tend to at my restaurant in Long Island.”

“I understand. I need your assistance. I called Cain to ask if we should order more of the tile that we changed out in the steam room for the showers in the locker rooms. It's considerably more expensive.”

“Well, what did he say?”

“He told me to ask you. You're the boss.”

I went quiet.

“Jade, are you there?”

“Yeah, sorry, Hal.”

“So do you want to switch out the tile in the showers, too?”

“Yes, go ahead and order the additional tile.”

“All right, thanks.”

I hung up with Hal and wondered why Cain didn't tell him what to do. Why would he bother to refer that decision to me? Maybe he had decided to walk away from the project. It would be nice if he let me know exactly where he stood.

T
he soothing sound of the waterfall eased my mind. I was in the backyard, settled in a lounge chair, drinking a beer. My mind wandered to the last time I relaxed in the chair and I smiled. It was after Jade and I made love. That was an amazing afternoon. She gave me the knockout pill that day. I felt a pull in my stomach at the thought of our naked bodies out in the hot sun….

That day seemed so long ago. We hadn't spoken all week and there was a lot going through my head. When I tried to block it out, it forced its way back to the forefront. My phone chimed. Just what I needed, a diversion. It was a text message from Riley.

Just checking in to let you know all is well at the restaurant. I feel right at home.

I put the phone down without replying. Maybe my father was right that I gave off the energy that it was okay for Riley to kiss me. If I were being honest, there were moments that I could have established some boundaries. It wasn't customary for me to go out with any of my employees the way I had with Riley. I was sort of drawn to her energy. I was encouraged that she would be able to carry the restaurant in my absence. I was ignoring the fact that the other employees had been doing that all along. I found the right chef. All I needed to do was teach her a few things about the business and turn her loose in the kitchen.

The more I reflected, it was very possible I had overstepped my bounds.

I
was in the kitchen making a pot of coffee. The news was on in the den and the weatherman was forecasting great weather for the weekend. I shuffled around the kitchen in my pajama pants, tank top, and fuzzy slippers. While the coffee brewed, I cut an orange into quarters and put it on a small plate. My doorbell rang. I looked at the clock. It was seven-fifteen in the morning. The bell rang again.

I rinsed my hands, drying them on a dishtowel on my way to the door. I peered through the peephole. Cain was standing on my front step. I ran my fingers through hair and opened the door.

“We need to talk,” he said, as he entered the foyer.

“Do you want some coffee?”

“That sounds good.”

He followed me to the kitchen. I poured two cups of coffee, added cream to his, and cream and sugar to mine. “Come in the den.” I put the television on mute and sat in the corner of the sofa. He sat down on the other end, his body facing me.

“I know it's early, but I needed to see you. There's a lot on my mind. I was hoping we could talk and get to the bottom of what's going on with us.”

“Where do you want to start?”

He pulled out the check. “Let's start with this.”

I clasped my mug in my hand like it was a lifeline. “You know from the moment you gave me the key to Genesis, I was so excited. I was excited you would even do something like that for me, for us. Excited that you had enough faith in my business plan to make an investment in my dream. And I was excited at the prospect of us working together.”

“So was I.”

“Please, let me finish. To me, being partners—equal partners—meant that you and I had an equal stake in the success of the business, from a financial perspective and operational perspective. As much as I loved the fact that you wanted to give me this business, it didn't sit well with me. I felt like I was being handed something on a silver platter that I hadn't earned. I believe in hard work and paying your dues for the things you want. Genesis sort of felt like my sugar daddy was giving me a gift. That was conflicting with my thoughts on how I should be launching a business.

“There were multiple times that I broached the subject of how important it was for me to contribute to the project. Every time, you brushed it aside as if my feelings were unwarranted. I felt as if your business experience trumped mine. I understand you have the means, but it bothered me that this was being handed to me.

“I wanted to research investment options because every time you mentioned that damn budget, I felt like I was going to get in trouble if I exceeded it. If it's my business too, I didn't want to feel that way. I wanted to be able to say, ‘Hey, Cain, don't worry I got that covered. We have the capital to make the additional investment.' I can't say that when it's your money and you control the purse strings.”

I tried to convey to Cain how I didn't take the decision lightly to look at alternative financing. I wanted him to understand that the
only reason I didn't tell him was because I needed to get all my ducks in a row and demonstrate why I was getting the financing so he couldn't shoot me down. I explained to him that Omar is a portfolio manager and initially I only sought his advice. I told him that I only considered Omar for a silent partner after he made it clear that he didn't want a group of investors involved.

“I'll admit I was wrong for not telling you what I wanted to do. Maybe I was wrong for not standing up to you and being more assertive with what I wanted in terms of financing for the project.”

He had been nodding the entire time I was talking. “I'm sorry, Jade. I didn't realize how important that was to you. I knew it was sort of an issue, but I assumed—hoped—once you got involved with the day-to-day that you wouldn't feel like I handed you a business. It was never my intention to be hands-on with Genesis. It was your business plan and your dream. I felt if I could provide the foundation, or capital, for what you needed, then I would do that. We both win. You were the boss of the project since day one. You made the important decisions, worked with the crew, and everything in between. All I did was provide money. I thought you would be able to see that. I could throw all the money in the world at Genesis, but without the hard work, there would be nothing. I told anyone who'd listen that you were the boss. Yes, I certainly had to keep the costs in line, but I do that with all of my ventures. You and I were partners in every sense of the word. Not every partner has the same role. My role was capital. That's basically it.

“I wanted you to take the lead. I wanted you to feel that sense of ownership. Especially because you were questioning your ownership since you didn't provide any capital. I would do whatever it takes to put money in both of our pockets. I assumed you felt the same about Genesis.”

“I did,” I said softly. “My insecurities took over. I felt like you didn't value my business insights.”

“I didn't want your money; that had nothing to do with your insights. I had been deferring to your insights from the moment I read that business plan. I entrusted you to spearhead a project that I was sinking my money into. I haven't done that for anyone but you. Not because you're my lady, but because you're just that smart, and I knew if anyone could drive a successful business, you could.”

“I'm sorry I complicated things,” I said, looking into my mug. “Even with that check, I hadn't fully decided if I wanted Omar to be a silent partner. I knew you were against it and it weighed heavily on me.”

“I can honestly say that I understand where you're coming from regarding the investors. I need a little help understanding what was going on in those text messages. Do you know how I felt seeing that another man was texting you pictures of his penis?”

I exhaled. “The most important thing I can say is that I don't share the same feelings as Omar.” I told Cain about everything. How Omar had recently broken up with Damaris and thought timing was on his side when I reached out about Genesis. I reiterated that the flirting wasn't reciprocal. Yes, we spent time together, but for me it was as friends. I assured him that I wholeheartedly agreed that I should have put a stop to the flirting. I acknowledged that I hadn't gone far enough to make it clear to Omar that his flirting was inappropriate. “I can't apologize enough for those pictures he sent. I guess I felt it was harmless because I don't want him. From the time I met Omar, I always told him it was about you. He knows I love you and he knows we're together.”

“Yet, he kept trying.”

“Omar had it in his mind that I could be the one. He mentioned that he was going for what he wanted since he didn't want to live his life wondering what if. He really felt that he missed an opportunity when we met, and he decided he wasn't going to let that happen again. Honestly, he just shared this with me the other day. If I knew he was that serious I would have shut him down. I know I should have shut him down anyway, but I would have taken a stronger stance.”

“Why did you even entertain him?”

“I can truly say I wasn't interested, but I guess it was flattering in a way. Wait one second.” I got up and hurried to the living room. I came back with the lingerie magazine turned to the page of the picture I sent to Omar. “I just wanted to show you that wasn't me in the picture.”

“I knew it wasn't when I looked at it again. It bothered me that you'd send him something to make him think it was.”

“It was joke. A really, bad one. A really bad, inappropriate one.”

He smiled. “You won't get an argument out of me.”

“I don't want you to think there was anything between us. I did cross the line by allowing the text messages and not putting Omar in his place. But never once was I considering anything with him.”

“I understand, Jade. When I was in Atlanta with Riley I spent time with her, as well.”

“Doing what exactly?” I braced myself for what was next.

“What I already told you. We went to the food festival my first day there. When I started to reflect on what would make her kiss me, there were moments when I could have put some professional distance between us.”

“What does that mean?”

“There were little things. The first thing I probably noticed was
she tried to feed me at the festival. I took the sample from her hand, but she did hold it to my mouth for me to taste. I sort of told myself that was nothing and maybe she was just a hands-on person, but obviously I was wrong about that.”

“That experience made her want to kiss you?” I probed, needing to understand what made that heifer put her lips on my man.

“We spent a lot of time talking and getting to know each other. I wanted to make sure I was hiring the right person.”

“Yeah, but what were you talking about?”

“Careers, food, relationships, what we enjoyed doing…”

“I can easily pick two of those that had nothing to do with her being able to work as the executive chef at Eden2.”

“I know, Jade. I realize that now. When I thought about it, I could see where the tone of our interactions may have shifted.”

I wasn't the only one crossing lines. I watched Cain while he spoke. I wanted to make sure he wasn't looking away or flinching or stuttering. I needed to decipher if he was telling me the truth. I hadn't known him to be untruthful in the past, but this was a unique situation. “Obviously, it shifted before the kiss.”

“Yes, before the kiss,” he echoed. “Actually, it was another kiss.”

“She kissed you twice?”

“On the cheek when I dropped her home. I see the expression on your face. It was late, she had a flat tire, and I took her home. I didn't even go inside. That was a signal and I brushed it off. There were moments and I ignored the signs. I can relate to being flattered. Riley was very complimentary about my business success, and I think I liked hearing that. She understood what I was trying to achieve at the restaurant.”