Risky Business (29 page)

The next three chapters tell the story of what happened to Kate when she chose to take the pill Pam offered her
.

Before she could change her mind, Kate grabbed the little pill out of Pam’s hand and gulped it down without water. Starving for confidence and desperate for success, it seemed her only option.

She waited.

No fireworks went off inside her—just yet. After about five minutes, she felt the warmth traveling through her body. It started with her fingers and toes and moved up her arms and legs until she felt like an electric current.
Is that it? That’s not so bad
.

“Now, try not to be overexcited or too chatty.” Pam steered her out to the pool deck. “You don’t want to give yourself away.”

Giddy, Kate clapped her hands together and said, “Well, let’s get this thing going! Time to swim!” Was she being too loud? How could she turn it down? Her blood pumped, and her adrenaline flowed. The swim of her life lay just ahead.
And then I’ll never take drugs again
. Her mind raced.
What have I done? Nope, don’t go there. No regrets
.

Off the block like she’d been shot from a cannon, Kate gave it all she had. Her heart raced; her limbs tingled. The water felt even colder than usual on her flushed skin. She swam the whole race only taking a breath every five strokes, something she’d never done before.

After she made her turn and started on the last length of the race, she passed the other swimmers who hadn’t made it to their turns yet. She would win for sure, and it looked good for setting the record
—but at what cost?

She cleared any dark clouds from her mind and focused on the race.
Push, pull, stretch. Bam
. The race ended as fast as it began. The roar of the crowd pretty much confirmed that she’d set a new record. She ripped off her goggles and looked at the clock.

48.35! She would forever be a record-breaking swimmer. Her teammates, who had been standing at the end of the lane cheering her on, reached down into the pool and pulled her out. They hugged Kate and clapped her on the back. Everyone danced around her.

Coach Thompson came to offer her congratulations, tissue in hand. She pulled Kate into a tight embrace, too choked up to speak.

Her mom came down from the bleachers to hug her. “Mom! Did you see that? I broke the record.” Kate jumped up and down. “I did it, Mom! I did it! Do you think Dad saw?”

“Slow down, sweetheart. I can hardly understand you!” She laughed, shaking her head. “I’m so proud of you. That was amazing! And, yes, I’m sure your dad saw you.” She choked on those last words.

Oops
. Kate wished she hadn’t asked about her dad at that moment—it made Mom sad. But Kate was sure glad to know that Mom believed that he had been watching.
But that means he probably saw me in the locker room
. She quickly dismissed that thought—nothing would cloud her beautiful day.

Still, bubbling with excitement, Kate wanted to be with her team. “Mom, I know you drove a long way to see me swim, and I normally ride home with you. You probably won’t want to drive home alone, but would you mind if I went back with the team? It’s going to be tough to pull myself away from the celebration right now.

I kind of want to hang out and celebrate….” Kate screamed at her brain to slow down, but it just wouldn’t.

“Okay, just relax.” Mom laughed. “It’s fine with me if you want to ride home on the bus. I think I would, too, if I were you.” She hugged her daughter and looked deeply into her eyes. “I love you, Kate, and I’m so proud of you. I’ll pick you up from school, and we’ll celebrate together at home later.”

“Thanks. Bye, Mom!” Kate kissed her and then skipped as she entered the locker room.

“There she is! The star of the show!” The whole team turned and clapped as Kate approached.

Grinning, she took a theatrical bow and said, “First I want to thank …”

“One … two … three … Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!” they cheered again for Kate as she climbed onto the bus. Her face reddened, not used to having all eyes on her—but she could get used to it.

Kate found an empty seat toward the back by Pam, Brittany, and Sandy. She got up, sat back down, got up again. After three times, Sandy pretended to pull her down and hold her there. “I’m not going to let you up until we get to the school.”

“You might have to sit on her.” Brittany laughed.

About ninety minutes later, amid the raucous laughter and chatter that had been going on for the whole drive, Kate noticed that Pam had gone strangely quiet. Catching Pam’s eye, Kate mouthed, “What’s wrong?”

Pam shook her head and pointed down at her open bag on the floor—the bag where Pam had hidden the bottle of pills.

Instantly, Kate feared the worst—
please don’t let them be missing
. She questioned Pam with her eyes.

Pam just shook her head again and mouthed one word:
Gone
.

Where could they be? What could she do?
If we get caught
… but she couldn’t think about that. They had to solve the problem before the coach found the pills. They had to find them first. She stood to her feet to start her search, when she saw Coach Thompson standing there, waiting for everyone’s attention.

“Kate, would you mind having a seat? I need to talk to you guys.”

Kate slumped into her seat and looked out the window, imagining her dreams fading away like the mountains they passed. She braced herself.

“Girls, without any problems, I want a simple answer. Whose are these?” Coach held up Pam’s bottle. “Just take responsibility for them and tell me whose they are. And then we’ll figure out who used them.”

Coach stood there and looked from girl to girl for three full minutes before Pam spoke up. “The bottle’s mine, Coach.”

Without expression, Coach replied, “Thank you, Pam. Now, who took the pills?” She looked at each girl again.

Kate’s insides were torn to shreds. She looked at her friends—if only she could talk to them. What if they didn’t want her to confess and ruin the day for the whole team? There was no way to know. If she didn’t confess, they’d probably hate her for leaving them to face the consequences alone.
I don’t know what to do!
She sucked on her finger, which had started to bleed where she had bitten her nail too low. She panted her breaths and her heart raced—panic or drug induced?

“Girls, I’m going to ask you one more time. Just once more. And if no one confesses, or if I don’t believe that everyone who needs to has confessed, I’ll just have to call the police. Who took these pills today? Raise your hand if you took one or more of these pills today.”

Kate looked around as three hands went slowly into the air. The moment of truth. Pam and Brittany had their hands up, and so did Sandy.
Do the honorable thing and join them, or try to fade into the background and avoid it? Now or never
. She didn’t want to do it, but she didn’t think she could live with herself if she didn’t.

“Going once, going twice …”

Kate slipped her hand into the air.

Coach sighed and squeezed her eyes closed for a moment.

Kate wished she could shrink and disappear.

The bus pulled into the driveway of the school. “All right, you four who raised your hand, please stay on board the bus. Everyone else, you’re free to go. But I’m going to give you all one more chance to join your teammates if you had any part in this. Don’t let me find out later that you didn’t come clean when you had this chance. Trust me, it would be much worse on you if I found out that way.”

Everyone else filed off the bus. Coach shrank as she lumbered behind them toward the door of the bus—her shoulders slumped and her head hung low. Kate wiped the moisture off the window with her sleeve and peered out. The swimmers met up with their parents, hugged them, climbed into their cars, and sped away—free. When they all pulled away, Coach approached the remaining parents who were obviously confused.

Watching the coach’s back, Kate assumed by her head movement that she was talking. The parents listened intently, their faces blank, until …
Shock
. There it was. They knew.

Mom! Oh, no. She looks so disappointed
. The face she’d studied her whole life.
How could I have done this to her?

After what seemed like a lifetime, the group broke up and the parents made their way onto the bus. Two moms looked as though they’d been crying. Kate’s mom sat across from her but didn’t look at her. Kate sat in silence and waited. Awkwardly, fearfully, very much alone.

Finally, Coach addressed the group. “Folks …” She looked at the grief-stricken parents, most of whom hadn’t spoken to their girls yet. “I know how difficult this must be for each of you. I’m at a loss myself.” She looked down at her feet and rubbed her temples. “At this point, I can’t tell you exactly what will happen. I’m going to have to talk to the administration on Monday. I will probably find out that I should have called the police,”—she looked back up at them—”but I’m not going to.” She made eye contact with a couple of dads, who nodded. “By the time the school gets involved on Monday, I’m guessing that it will be too late for that or that they’ll decide not to involve the authorities…. At least I hope that’s what will happen.”

She paused before continuing. “I can promise you that any awards, trophies, records, or times from today will be removed from the record and from your possession. I’m also pretty confident in saying that you’ll be asked to leave the team.” She had been holding back tears while she spoke, but at that last part, she choked on a sob.

What have we done?
Kate felt sick. Drugs or grief—she couldn’t say for sure. Her hands shook, and her stomach threatened revolt.

Coach wiped her eyes and continued. “As you can see, this is very hard on me. I’m going to have to think long and hard about what I’ve done or said to contribute to the level of pressure it would take to drive you girls to this.” Looking each girl in the eye, their coach said, “I’m just so glad you’re all okay. I don’t know what I’d have done if something happened to any one of you.” Crying openly, she sat down.

Once they were sure that Coach had nothing else to say, they gathered their belongings. One by one they filed off the bus. No one said a word.

On Monday morning, Kate’s steps slowed as she approached the school—her heart pounded, and her stomach churned. It would be bad. But no matter how bad it got at school, it couldn’t even come close to how difficult it had been at home over the weekend. Kate shuddered as she thought back over the past few days. Silence. Home had been like a funeral parlor, except worse. At least at a funeral, people hugged each other and offered support as they grieved their loss.

Kate sat quietly during her first-period class. When would the bomb explode? The door creaked open. She peeked up from her book—not really wanting to look. A student with an
OFFICE
badge pinned to her shirt handed a note to the teacher.
This is it
. Kate closed her book and reached for her bag.

“Kate.” The teacher held the note out. “It’s for you.”

The walk from her desk to the front of the classroom seemed much longer than usual. She felt all eyes on her, their heat boring holes in her back.
Has word already gotten around?
When she got back to her seat, she unfolded the note.

Kate Walker, come to the office with your books at 11:00
.

Her heart sank. Two hours to wait—she just wanted it over with.

The morning passed like slow drips from a faucet.
Plink. Plink. Tick. Tock
. Finally, Kate’s watch said 10:55—
time to go
. She grabbed her bags and a few books that she might need later—in case the meeting ran long.

The secretary directed her to the conference room. Sunshine broke through the wall of windows at the back of the room. Kate looked down the long oak table and at everyone who sat around it. Pam and both of her parents, Brittany and her mom, Sandy and her dad, their coach, the principal, the school counselor and some silver-haired man in a navy blue suit and a yellow tie.
Uh-oh
. She took a seat next to her mom. Mom looked away.