Risking it All (39 page)

standing there. In her muddled state, it

took a moment to place her. Ruby.

Bowen’s sister looked between them,

her expression leaving no room for

doubt she’d heard every shouted word.

She laid a hand on Bowen’s shoulder

and he turned his tortured expression on

her, making her visibly flinch.

“Come on.” Ruby nudged Bowen

gently. “Let’s get you off the street.”

Sera grabbed Bowen’s arm as he

turned to follow Ruby inside, but he

pulled away. “Come on, Sera.” His

outburst seemed to have sucked the

remaining life out of him. “Let’s make

this quick.”

She didn’t pause to take in her

surroundings as she followed him inside,

only registering the smell of wood,

sawdust, oil. Her full attention was

centered on Bowen’s stiff back. Then he

started talking and her world came to a

grinding halt.

“Give me a head start, then call Troy.

Tell him Sera is here and to come pick

her up. He needs to take her directly to

the station. To her uncle, the fucking

police commissioner
.” He pulled at his

hair as he addressed a horrified Ruby.

“All right? Can you do that for me?”

Devastation rolled over Sera in a

wave.
You can lie to me, lock me up…

Lock me up. She thought of her uncle in

the alley last night, his parting words of

“this isn’t over
.
” Bowen thought she

wanted him locked up and there was

only one way he could have come to that

conclusion. That had been her uncle on

the phone. She’d never been so sure of

anything in her life. For the first time, it

occurred to her she had reason to be

scared of her uncle. He would sabotage

her life, the lives of others, to protect his

prestigious position.

And Bowen was sending her right into

his hands, where her future would be his

to dictate. Where he would find a way to

keep her quiet about what she knew.

No, this couldn’t be happening. She

should have told Bowen everything last

night. The conversation between him and

her uncle had mentally sent him packing,

out of her reach. Made him incapable of

being reasonable. She could see it in his

jerky movements, the thousand-yard

stare he kept directing at her. Could she

even get through to him at this point? Or

had every ounce of trust between them

been destroyed?

“Bowen.” She planted herself in front

of him, but he fixated on some spot on

the wall behind her. “You don’t know

what you’re doing. There so much you

don’t know, about my brother—”

“Did you tell your
uncle
you wanted

me arrested?”

She swallowed hard. No more lies.

“Yes, but obviously not for the reason

you think.”

He’d stopped listening after she

confirmed it, his expression slamming

shut, jaw hardening. She opened her

mouth to keep going, to explain she only

wanted him safe from the men who

wanted him gone, even though his face

told her nothing she said would get

through. Before she could speak, he

silenced her with his mouth.

Yes, yes, yes
. If he wouldn’t listen to

her, this was her only hope. He couldn’t

kiss her and not realize how she felt. She

went up on her toes, threaded her fingers

through his haphazard hair, and put her

soul into the kiss. A broken noise in the

back of his throat wrenched her heart in

two, but she kept kissing his mouth,

hoping to get past the wall he’d built. He

framed her face with his hands and

kissed her back with an aching

thoroughness. A different kind of kiss.

No less passionate than before, but he

wouldn’t give himself over to her

completely. With a final blast of dread,

she realized it felt like good-bye.

One hand dropped from her face to

take her wrist. Before she could process

what he intended to do, her hand had

been secured to the wall. She broke

away with a gasp, her gaze flying

upward to see what he’d done. No.
No
.

He’d attached her to some kind of rack

with an industrial-sized zip tie. A rack

full of pool sticks. What was this place?

“Let me go.
Please.
You don’t know

what you’re doing.” She implored him

with her eyes. His breathing was

labored, eyes more tortured than before.

She’d been damned since last night,

hadn’t she? Damned by her silence. A

sob worked its way free of her throat.

“Bowen—”

He clapped a hand over her mouth. “I

don’t blame you, Ladybug. You did the

right thing. I’m going to go somewhere I

can’t hurt anyone else. Didn’t I tell you

I’d always give you what you want?” He

tucked a hair behind her ear. “No

smoking, okay? Ever. You promised.

And stay out of dark alleys from now on.

I won’t be there to keep you safe.” His

voice shook on the last word. As if he

couldn’t help it, he pressed a final kiss

to the center of her forehead. “You were

the best part of my life, Sera. Even if it

wasn’t real.”

She couldn’t see him through the tears

clouding her vision, the denial rising in

her throat. Defeat, thick and abhorrent,

crashed into her as he turned and walked

away. In a move of desperation, she

reached out to grab him, but her

imprisoned wrist prevented her and she

only caught air. She’d lost. Somehow all

the hope and resolve between them last

night and this morning had been ripped

to shreds. Helplessness shone through it

all, the pain of knowing anything she

said right now would be construed as a

lie.

“Please don’t go,” she tried to scream,

but it came out sounding strangled. “You

asked me so many times if I trusted you.

I said yes and I meant it. Give me the

same trust now.”

Bowen ignored her once again,

pointing a finger at Ruby. “You tell Troy

that if anything happens to her, I will

burn that precinct to the ground.
Tell

him
.”

Sera swiped at her eyes, turning her

attention to Ruby. Bowen’s sister looked

visibly shaken, tears coursing down her

own cheeks. “
I’ll tell him
,” she shouted

back, when he refused to budge without

an answer. “You’re about to do

something stupid, aren’t you? Ask me for

help. Just ask and I’ll give it.”

The door slamming was his only

answer. He hadn’t even looked back.

Sera sank to the ground, dimly

registering another woman walking out

of the back room. Bowen’s mother. Her

face appeared stricken, but Sera couldn’t

summon the will to care. So much

unbearable pressure existed in her chest,

she couldn’t believe it hadn’t cracked

wide open yet so her insides could spill

out. Any second, though, it would

happen. She’d welcome it. Anything,

anything
, had to be better than this

freezing sensation. Loss. She’d lost him.

He’d left her in danger.
He
was in

danger. And he had no idea.

When Ruby reached into her pocket

and drew out a cell phone, Sera came

out of her stupor with a burst of

adrenaline. “
No
. No, wait. Don’t make

the call yet.”

Ruby spared her a disgusted glance. “I

don’t break my word. Not to him.”

“You make that call, you’ll get him

killed.”

She

stopped

dialing.

“Explain.

Quickly. Just because my boyfriend’s a

cop doesn’t mean I trust all of you. From

what I heard, you set him up.”

Sera stood on wobbly legs, taking in

her surroundings vaguely. Pool sticks.

Everywhere. They were in some kind of

factory. “I wasn’t setting him up, I was

trying to save his life.” She sucked in a

breath, gesturing toward the door. “I

couldn’t get him to listen to me. He

wasn’t in his right mind.”

The other girl considered her closely.

“I’ve never seen him act like that,” she

admitted softly. “He wasn’t…there.”

More cold permeated her, making her

feel brittle. Somehow that frozen feeling

gave her a moment of clarity. She

wouldn’t let anything happen to him. No

way in hell. She’d broken him, and she

would fix him. Fix herself. This entire

situation.

Responsibility

weighed

heavily on her shoulders, but she

accepted it gladly. It gave her something

to focus on.

“Call Troy,” she directed Ruby,

grateful for the steel in her voice. “Ask

him to come here without letting anyone

know. Just ask him for ten minutes to

hear me out.” She tested the zip tie

holding her hostage, had the feeling

she’d be in it until they believed her. “I

have a plan.”

CHAPTER

TWENTY-FIVE

Bowen stared through unseeing eyes as

the crates containing stolen computer

hardware were loaded into the backs of

rented vans. Some had been provided by

Hogan, some by him and his men. They

worked in complete silence, tension

thick in the air. Nighttime had fallen

hours earlier, but to Bowen it had been

dark much longer. His body felt tired, as

if he’d expended actual, physical energy

trying to block out thoughts of Sera and

her betrayal. Had it even been a

betrayal? He’d known she was a cop

since the beginning. There’d been a

dawning

apprehension

when

she

wouldn’t talk to him, let him help her

with his eyes wide open. Maybe he

deserved to feel like this. Like someone

had taken a sledgehammer to his ribs and

left him to rot.

God, he was one pathetic son of a

bitch. He should be thinking about

getting the stolen merchandise to the

distributer in Queens, out of his hands.

All he could think of was her. Was she

safe? Had her feelings been genuine or

had it all been in his fucked-up brain?

Perhaps he’d taken one too many

punches and these were the gruesome

side effects. Seeing things that weren’t

there. Hoping for a future that was

laughable for someone like him. His

future had been mapped out before he

entered this world. It had been stupid of

him to lose sight of that.

An image of Sera sitting on his

windowsill, bathed in sunshine as she

sipped coffee, hit him hard and it took an

effort not to double over and shout until

his vocal cords gave out. On its heels

followed the sensation of her fingers

sifting through his hair, the husky sound

of her voice telling him he felt so good

inside her. How long? How long could

he live like this? A hole gaped in his

chest, yawning wider by the moment. He

knew if she were standing in front of him

just then, he would beg her to let him try

again. Beg her to come with him when

he left Brooklyn.

He had to leave. For so many reasons,

not the least of which was the beautiful

girl he’d left tied to a pool stick rack this

morning. No, there was more. The end

was coming. A tingling at the back of his

neck that didn’t go away anymore. It had

graduated to a roaring in his ears, and

combined with his grief over losing

Sera, threatened to kill him on its own.

An invisible weapon, instead of a real

one. Part of him would rather take the

bullet he suspected he had coming than

to let this gut-wrenching feeling drag him

under. It would be quicker and less

painful. Merciful, really.

Ten yards away, Hogan blew warm

air into his hands and rubbed them

together, nighttime having brought a cold

front. Beside him stood Connor and two

other men Bowen knew only by sight.

Wayne stood by the van with a

clipboard, making sure they were

receiving their fair share of the

merchandise, but Bowen could feel the