Risk It All (Risqué #2) (24 page)

Gary had lived in the same shithole one-bed apartment for a couple of years, she knew it because she sent him a Christmas card every year, not that she ever got one back.

Only after Bri moved in with Erika did she come to visit her brother. The damp stained walls and cracked windows didn’t entice her to repeat that experience. So after that first and only visit she made to his place, she never came back. When they wanted to get together, Gary came over to Erika’s.

But today she embraced being here because today she was going to do what she should have done years ago: stand up to her brother and have him face facts. Getting to Gary's door she didn't waste any time waiting to knock.

At this time in the morning, he should have been fast asleep. But he didn't take long to answer the door as if he was expecting something or someone to come over. Whatever he was waiting for, it wasn’t her, and his surprise at her presence was palpable. He tensed and tried to come into the hall, but Bri wasn't going to be blocked out, so she crowded close to keep him on his side of the threshold.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘You told me I could come and stay with you and now I'm not welcome? Aren't you going to ask me in for coffee?’ She could already tell that he didn’t want her to come inside and she wasn’t sure that she wanted to know why that was. ‘Are you alone?’

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘I’m alone.’

‘Great,’ she said. ‘Just milk for me.’

In the long delay that followed he had to be trying to think of excuses why she couldn’t come in. But he must have come up short, because he grumbled and stepped back, holding open the door. Bri went into the living room ready to lecture him about the mess, but when she clocked the real reason he didn’t want her here, she stopped.

On the coffee table was a glass tube with a spherical end and beside it was a rock she couldn’t mistake. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ she exhaled and whipped around to glare at her brother.

‘What? I’m just chilling.’

‘No,’ she said. ‘No, you’re not.’ He passed her to saunter back into the living room and he took a seat at the head of the table with the meth in front of him.

‘It’s not that bad, come here, you might enjoy it.’

She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t even think. Bri wanted to run over there and beat him around the head. She wanted to scream and cry and ask him how he could do this.

‘You’re asking me to take drugs,’ she whispered. ‘Gar, how could you…? After everything that we went through with mom and dad, you promised you would never, that neither of us would ever—‘

‘What did you think I was going to do when you disappeared on me?’ he shouted and pounced up onto his feet. ‘You just fucked off to suit yourself and left me here alone!’

‘You had friends, you were… you were always more social than I was and Blaser—‘

‘Yeah,’ he snarled, snapping his growling eyes up to her. ‘You just locked yourself up with that fucking bastard and when he was gone, away in prison, you didn’t have any reason to hang around, did you? After all I did for you—‘

‘For me?’ she said, she wouldn’t stand for him pinning his troubles on her. ‘You loved it! You loved the attention, every time you brought in a new stolen car, you’d gloat, never once thinking about the person you’d taken it from or what it would mean to them. Then you sold off the parts and got rich quick, but the money never lasted, did it? You bought clothes and treated your numerous girlfriends, was that for me, was it? Did you do that for my benefit?’

‘I was getting us by! I was looking after you!’

‘No,’ she said, clenching her fingers around the strap of her purse. ‘In the early days, sure, you and Blase took over my life and didn’t give a thought to what would happen if you were caught! It was the money you loved and the credibility you had among the idiots and ingrates that hung on around you. At least Blaser came home to me every night, you would fuck off for weeks at a time!’

‘We’re family,’ he said, marching over to her. ‘We stick together! You fucked off, not me! I might have taken a vacation or two, but you, you left me alone here for six years! What did you think would happen to me?’

‘I thought you would get yourself straightened out. You never needed me to look after you, and you didn’t need Blaser either. You were the king, you looked out for you, you should have realised that we were moving on and you should’ve got yourself together.’

‘Oh like your fucking saint boyfriend, huh?’ Spreading his arms, he kicked the end of the couch. ‘Let me tell you about that prick, you know he had an illegal fight night in that club of his, he—‘

‘I know all about it, and I know why he did it. He was trying to help me, he was trying to make sure that Rafe would leave me alone so that we could finally put all of that life behind us and move on.’

‘I took care of Rafe! I fucking told you—‘

‘What does that mean?’ she asked, lowering her voice. ‘You said it to me before in Blaser’s place, but what do you mean that you took care of—‘

‘What the fuck do you think it means?’

She couldn’t remember her brother being such an angry person. Maybe it was just easy to ignore that aspect of his character in the early days because everyone was getting along and life was good as far as Gary was concerned. His lowered chin and narrowed eyes gave her chills, but the long blank stare was what she fixated on.

‘You… you did it, didn’t you?’

‘Yeah,’ he exhaled and a wry smile took time to build on his face. ‘Are you proud of me?’

‘No,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘How could you think that I would…? Who the hell have you turned into?’ The sad answer to that question was that Gary had turned into their father, cold and uncaring, only reacting when he was provoked and managing to overreact every time. ‘You can’t expect… you left the gun at Blaser’s, you didn’t even ask for it back.’

‘Don’t need it back,’ he said. ‘He can take the rap. We’re leaving in the morning.’

‘We?’

‘Yeah, Marshall was gonna come and pick you up, but if you’re here now, I guess—‘

‘I’m not going anywhere with you,’ she said, backing toward the door.

‘You’re my sister and I look after you. I got out of that shitty jail and Marshall gave me an update. Soon as I heard what was going on with Rafe, I went over there and took him out. Then I came to Blaser’s place to get you, to keep you safe, and you turned around and stabbed me in the back. You chose him when it’s me who has always been there for you. I’ve always looked after you, even when you were being a bitch, I was the one there for you.’

‘A bitch?’

‘Yeah, screwing around with my best buddy in high school. Fuck you, Bri, you started all this shit! Then dancing in that club and setting Blase on me. I let you get away with all that shit. I loved you and I looked after you.’

‘You didn’t do any of it for me. Blaser at least faces up to what he did, he paid his debt and what did you do? Nothing! You’re here now, exactly the same as when we were kids, only now, you’re buzzing! You’re taking drugs that we promised would never be a part of our lives!’

‘You need to grow up, Bri,’ he said, turning his back on her. ‘This is life. This is who we are.’ Facing her, he pointed to the drugs on the table. ‘People like us need this shit just to make life bearable!’

‘No,’ she said. ‘I don’t need it and neither does Blase. I can’t believe you… you murdered a man! You took a life, Gar!’ Hot tears cascaded over her lashes, grazing her cheekbones and slithering to her chin. Her brother, her only family, was unrecognizable to her. Maybe this was who he always had been and she’d been too busy idolising him to notice.

‘When we found out that Rafe was gonna come for you, I had to act.’

‘We?’

‘Yeah, Marshall knows one of Rafe’s guys,’ Gary said. ‘I was desperate to get out of that jail, I knew what I had to do.’

‘You didn’t have to… murder wasn’t an option, it shouldn’t have entered your mind!’

‘Don’t be immature, Bri, the guy was bad news. I took care of the problem you caused.’

‘I didn’t cause any problem! Would you rather I’d worked off the debt with Rafe? Is that what you wanted me to do?’

‘You’ve never been able to look after yourself,’ he sneered. ‘You shouldn’t have gotten involved at all, but you just walked right into it.’

‘Easy to think that, isn’t it?’ she said. ‘You don’t know anything, you just… you got involved in something that wasn’t your business. Blaser—‘

‘It’s not my business but it’s his? Don’t you see how fucked up that is?’

‘We are living our lives, moving on. Blaser dealt with Rafe and we were putting it all behind us.’

‘Guess you don’t know what he’s cooking up with Mattie Warner then?’ he said. ‘You’re still so fucking naïve.’

‘And you are clueless. The Rafe problem was solved.’

Gary shrugged. ‘Don’t care what Warner told you. All I know is I got out of prison and the first thing I did was take care of the bastard hurting my family, I didn’t need anyone’s say so. Rafe was going down and I was going to make damn fucking sure of it.’

‘It was done,’ she said. ‘Blaser—‘

‘He can’t take care of you. He’s a schmuck who pays his taxes and only crosses at the green, that’s not the kinda life you want.’

‘Yes, it is.’

‘No…’

Her back met the front door and ignoring her impulse to flee, she scrutinised her brother and took in the surroundings of this small apartment with no flooring and barely any furniture. He was just like Erika, he hadn’t changed at all. If he had changed, it was for the worse because he’d sold everything of any value and after witnessing the rocks on the table, she knew why. He was throwing his life away, just like their parents had. She wanted to help him, to tell him that they’d get him help, except he saw nothing wrong with the way he lived.

He could have straightened himself out, he could have refused to start taking drugs just as they had always promised each other. But instead of wanting out of this oppressive life, he was trying to entice her into it. Gary offering her drugs was an alien concept; he wasn’t the brother who had stood up for her and protected her from their father, now he was a stranger.

‘I love you, Gary,’ she said, the stinging sensation inside her skull was trying to make her cry and give her a migraine at the same time. But she kept her eyes on her brother. ‘This wasn’t the life that either of us was supposed to have and going on the run, that’s forever, you can’t… You can’t live your life that way, neither of us can.’

‘You’re going to stay here? With him?’

‘Blaser loves me, we can have a life together and a family. I want you to be a part of that, but you can’t be unless… you can’t run away from what you’ve done wrong.’

‘The cops already want to throw me in jail,’ Gary said. ‘I’m bailed until the trial and then—‘

‘You have to do what’s right,’ she pleaded, wishing that he would show some sign of remorse.

‘I do what’s right for me.’

‘You want to leave, you’re going to run away, where are you going to go?’

‘Marshall’s got family who run a hotel in Cancun, says we can go there. Sun and sand, it’ll be like a vacation twenty-four seven.’

‘You can’t… you would never be able to come home.’

‘Why would I need to if I’ve got all my family with me?’ he said, approaching her. She tensed with every step nearer he got. ‘Come with me, you’ll find a new life there, away from all the bullshit here, away from all the crap that you went through. We can be whoever we want to be down there.’

Some of his anger had receded and he was nodding, like he really believed every word he was saying. ‘I don’t know if—‘

‘I can look after you. I’ve always looked after you, Bri,’ he said, picking her fingers off her purse, when it slipped to her wrist, he took hold of her hand. ‘I took care of that Rafe prick, didn’t I?’

She didn’t want her brother throwing his life away, murdering for her, the very thought made her nauseous. But she couldn’t ignore what had happened either. Gary could be past the point of redemption, but until she made him face what he had done and pay his own debt, she couldn’t be sure of that.

‘You can’t pick me up at the apartments, Blaser will never—‘

‘I don’t give a fuck about what that bastard will—‘

‘If you wait,’ she said. ‘If you can wait until he’s at the club or the garage, then you could pick me up.’

His eyes lit. ‘If you stay here right now and—‘

‘No, I want to go back and pick up my things,’ she said. ‘And I want to say goodbye to him, even if he can’t know that it’s goodbye. Please, Gary, what’s a few more hours?’

Bri hadn’t confessed that the police had been at the apartments searching Blaser’s place. Gary might find out, but if he planned to stay in his apartment getting high until they left then he probably wouldn’t be talking to many people.

‘Two o’clock,’ he said. ‘That’s when we’ll leave. Bring your passport and don’t say a word to anyone.’

She nodded and lunged forward into his arms, he squeezed her tight and she had to hold her breath to dam her tears. When he relaxed his grip, she looked up to see a smile the full width of his face.