Risk (A Mageri World Novel) (22 page)

“You’ve got a nasty bump on the noggin,” he said, breaking the silence with typical Simon humor. “Your eyes were beginning to bulge. It reminded me of—”

“I never thought I’d say this, but be quiet. Silence is golden.”

His eyes sparkled, and the dimple on his cheek appeared. “I see you’re back to your old self.”

She noticed his voice was fading in and out.

Ella closed her palms. “Wait. Your light feels too weak for me to take any more.”

“That’s worse than calling a man’s penis small.”

Ella was healed enough to do the rest on her own. Not only was Simon injured, but something had happened to him earlier. Why else would he have shown up in such a state—half-naked with a sword in hand? Ella turned her head when something caught her attention.

The long tail on Hannah’s shirt flapped wildly in the wind, and despite the spatters of blood on her white pants, her hair was immaculate with every strand secured in place.

Ella pushed herself up on her elbows. “How could you do that to me?”

Hannah’s eyes rounded when she heard Ella speak.

Ella stood up, dizzy as the blood rushed out of her head. Simon briefly caught her arm before she steadied herself and confronted Hannah. “You told me everything you did was to protect me. Why would you just pass me off like a piece of trash?” She might have been shouting, but she didn’t care.

Hannah’s gaze darted around until they settled on Boris’s head just a few feet away. “I never meant for this to happen. Had I known it was him, I would have killed him myself.”

“Regardless, why did you give me away for marriage?”

“I had no choice! Look at me, Learner. I’m a distinguished member of the Council with a reputation to uphold. Do you think it was easy to get this job? You’re just a child in our world. There was nothing more I could do to speed along your progress. Simon was only a temporary solution, and your insubordination only proved that my last resort was a fail. Becoming independent would mean nothing if you weren’t someone I could proudly claim as my own.” Hannah’s right index finger pointed down as it often did when upset. “You are the only piece that’s left of me—the last branch in my family tree. That’s what this has been about. You and I share the same blood, and I have watched my children and their children for centuries.”

Ella gasped, shocked by the revelation.

“I couldn’t afford for you to be my downfall. The only viable solution was to find you a match, but who is going to commit to a woman with a defect? No one. Boris made an offer, and it wasn’t as easy as you might think for me to accept. It was a position that would earn you respect in high society, and it also promised your safety. I had your life and my reputation to protect.”

Ella smeared the blood off her forehead. “If you knew about my family, then why didn’t you protect us?”

Hannah shook her head. “I made sure your parents had plenty of money, but your lives were never in danger. I couldn’t have known that something like that would happen. I’ve made enemies over the years, so I tried to be careful. I was more involved with your family than any of the others, and that exposed a vulnerability.”

None of it mattered. In the end, Hannah had turned her back on Ella.

“I hate you. I despise everything about you.”

“How dare you. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you! Your life has always been mine to protect.”

Ella clenched her hands into fists. “You didn’t make me a Mage because you loved me; you did it because you love yourself. Isn’t
your
immortality enough? I came from you, but I am
not
yours.”

A subtle glow emanated from Hannah’s skin. “You will always be mine. You have my blood and my light.”

Ella touched her throat to make sure she was loud enough. “I used to want to be like you—to live without love or regret. After surgery and almost dying, the doctor told me I couldn’t have children. You know what? I didn’t care. I didn’t feel anything. Why would I want to bring children into a world as cruel as this? So following you seemed easy at first because I was hurting—I was in a dark place that’s taken me years to climb out of. But I still have a heart, and it breaks when I think of living a life where I’m not loved.”

When a figure lunged through the doorway, Ella sprang into action. She used her Jumper ability to intercept the attack, grappling the hand that held a dagger meant for Hannah. She disarmed the large man with a twist of his arm and buried the stunner in his neck. He fell back against the wall and slumped over.

Ella lifted her gaze to Hannah, who looked on with astonishment and a sliver of pride. “I don’t need you anymore.”

M
oments after Ella
thwarted the attack on her Creator’s life, she fainted. Simon couldn’t have reached the Mage as quickly, and to be honest, it was a shining moment he wouldn’t have dared taken away from her. Without a doubt, Ella had more integrity than her own Creator.

Simon scooped her up in his arms despite his injuries. The Ice Queen all but blocked the exit when he announced he was taking her to his place to recover. As far as he was concerned, Hannah’s privileges were revoked, so he shoved past her. He didn’t give a flying leap what she thought about his demands.

After he parked his car in the garage, he carried Ella into his apartment building and up to the thirteenth floor. While there were more humans in his building than Breed, he wasn’t worried about anyone calling the police on him for carrying an unconscious woman dressed in a blood-stained wedding gown. Not only did they have guys working on the inside who tracked reports linked to anyone in the Breed database, but a few Vampires in the building usually took care of trouble.

Simon gently laid her on his bed and unlaced her black boots. What he really wanted to do was strip her out of that offensive gown, but it didn’t seem right to disrobe her without her permission. Any other woman he might have, but this was Ella.

He did peel off her newspaper-print stockings so she’d be more comfortable, resisting the urge to steal a glimpse of her tattoos. Then he stripped out of his pants, showered, and put on his favorite long johns—snug white pants sans shirt.

Simon switched on a dim lamp and sat down at his writing desk, stretching his legs and reading a book on poisons. Ella slept for hours. He’d made it to chapter thirty-two before a voice penetrated the quiet.

“You look dapper in those pants,” Ella said, her voice sleepy and relaxed.

He set the book down and noticed her shivering. “Let me open the window and let out the cold air.”

She knitted her brows. “Why not just turn off the air?”

Simon lifted the window, and the cold air escaped like a criminal, his skin becoming sticky as the outside breeze warmed the room. He ran his fingers through his unkempt hair and swaggered toward the bed, noticing a flicker of arousal in her emotional energy.

She looked angelic with her ginger hair spread across the black pillow sham.

He leaned over her and gripped the zipper on the left side of her dress. “Will you let me remove this?”

Her blue eyes glittered with regret.

“It wasn’t legal, you know.”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

He pulled her arms free, and she lifted her hips as he pulled the dress down before tossing the garment to the floor. “Then enlighten me.”

Simon tried in vain to strip his eyes away from her magnificence. Her creamy ivory complexion had never been more noticeable than against his dark sheets. She had a narrow waist, small breasts beneath her black bra, slim legs, and yet was in every way as tough as the best fighters he’d known. He sat on the edge of the bed and gave her his full attention.

She turned her head, dodging his gaze. “He took everything from me. My home, my family, my life, my childhood, and my first marriage. I have nothing left—nothing to offer that he hasn’t sullied. I couldn’t even kill him myself.”

“And do you think that would have brought you sleep at night? It’s better this way.”

She eased up on her elbows. “How can you say that? It’s better this way? I’ll never have closure.”

“He’s gone,” Simon said angrily. “That’s the only closure that matters.”

“Says the man who got his own taste of revenge.”

Simon leaned in. “Do you think killing my Creator gave me peace? I know firsthand that beheading someone who shares your light will be the one thing that gives you nightmares. It’s different from any other murder because it’s patricide in our world, and no matter how you try to reason that they are a stranger to you, their light will forever burn in your core. Boris was not your Creator, but you share the same light from Hannah.”

“You regret killing your maker?”

“I wake up in the night… still hearing his voice as if no time has passed. It’s as if I’ve chained him to me through murder, and his light within me turns and turns like a spirit in a grave. Sometimes I think he’ll find a way back from the dead and hunt me down.”

“What did you do with his body?”

Simon drew in a breath and leaned back. “I burned him and scattered the bones. Something they don’t tell you is that burning a man doesn’t burn away all the bones.”

Ella touched his arm. “I’m sorry. Do you think you’d still have nightmares if someone else had done it?”

“It doesn’t matter. Killing the bad guy doesn’t make you the hero because you got away with your life. Killing one’s Creator is the kind of thing that would not only soil a man’s reputation if anyone found out but could lead to his execution.”

“But it happened before the Mageri was formed, right?”

“Who’s to say they wouldn’t make me an example? Their rules aren’t static, and I’ve never trusted the Mageri’s motives.”

“They’re not all bad. There’s Novis.”

Ella was right. Simon had a bigger issue with the establishment itself than the individuals. But it always seemed like corrupt men sought the seats in power.

Ella eased onto her back and heaved out a sigh. “I promise to keep your secret.”

He winked. “Never had any doubt, love.”

“How can you trust me so quickly?”

Simon pinched her nose. “I’m a strategist; it’s my job to read people.” He didn’t mention that he could feel the heartfelt sincerity in her energy.

A tear hovered at the corner of her eye, and he wiped it away. “What’s this all about?”

“I was just thinking about my family. I’m always going to be lost without my mother. I’ll never know what my parents would have looked like with grey hair and wrinkles. I’ll never be able to see them as more than what I did through a child’s eyes. Even if they had to die, why Jasper?” she croaked, covering her eyes. “He had his whole life ahead of him.”

Simon didn’t know any jokes to set the mood right. He touched her hand so she could hear him. “I’ve heard stories from some of the ancients who believe mortal children who die are carried into our world.”

Ella sniffed. “What do you mean, that they’re born again?”

“It might explain why those who are
born
Breed are overly protective of children. Vampires and our kind were once humans and we still carry all that old baggage, but you’ve seen how different Chitahs and Shifters are. The ancients know things that most of us will never understand, and I’ve studied all these bloody science books and can’t explain our magic. But I’ve heard the story more than once, and they believe that the fates wish to gift those children multiple lifetimes to make up for their sacrifices.”

She unshielded her eyes and looked up at him. “I like that idea. He deserves another chance.”

“I used to not believe in the afterlife, but after all the things I’ve seen and what I am, it’s hard
not
to believe that the journey goes on. Although I highly suspect the fates will see that I’m reborn as a Chihuahua to punish me.”

Ella laughed, and he couldn’t resist laughing along with her.

“Maybe you’ll be adopted by your neighbor,” she said with a snort.

“Now
that
would be hell on earth. Have you met Miss Havers?”

“Beatrice seems like a nice lady. She also seems to think you have a nice ass from what I saw.”

“Pervy woman.”

“I know that sharing feelings is a soap opera you’d rather stay away from, but I haven’t spoken to anyone about how the murders affected me, and maybe that’s what I needed. It’s not how you do things, but then again, I don’t know if a man who wears long johns and owns a Twister mat has all the answers.”

He wagged a finger at her. “The answer to life is on a Twister mat. You learn how flexible you are, how to concentrate and not let others distract or push you around, how to deal with the unexpected challenges that arise, and you also learn to have a good laugh.”

She grabbed his finger. “Will you lie next to me?”

He drew in his bottom lip and licked it.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight. I’m not asking for sex.”

“I’m not offering. Do I look that easy?” he asked, rounding the end of the bed and swiveling his hips like an exotic dancer.

Ella laughed. “You have moves like a male stripper. Do you want me to answer that?”

He hopped onto the bed, the mattress bouncing. “And what do you know about strippers?”

Ella was leaning away from him and didn’t hear the question.

“What are you doing?” he asked, the question falling on deaf ears.

She leaned back, holding up a cinnamon stick.

He snatched it away. “Are you snooping in my drawers?”

“Maybe what people keep closest to them tells more about who they are than anything else.” Ella went back for more, and a flurry of laughter erupted when she returned with a Rubik’s Cube in her hand. All the colored tiles were perfectly lined up.

“And what, in your professional opinion, do you think that says about me?” he asked.

She twisted all the rows until the colors were scrambled. “That you’re a perfectionist who likes his life in order.”

He snatched the cube. “Maybe I just like games.”

She took it back. “Maybe that’s just what you want people to think.” Ella turned on her side, accentuating the curve of her hip. “Now I know why you smell like cinnamon. I can picture you lying in bed, chewing on your stick. Will you do it for me now?”

Simon laughed and tossed the game cube on the table to his right. “Don’t be silly.”

She took the cinnamon stick from his lap and tapped his wrist. “I just want to see Simon Hunt in his natural habitat—without his guard up.”

He touched her hand and snarled playfully like a wild animal so she could hear it. She smiled, and when her eyes glittered with sadness once again, he popped the stick in his mouth.

“For pity’s sake. There. Are you happy?”

The way Ella looked at him sent a strange tickle through his belly.

Her voice softened. “We’re so alike, you and I. Too damaged to ever belong to anyone—even each other—but I love you, Simon Hunt.”

No one had ever said that to him unless it was in the throes of passion. “What do you know of love? You’re a child.”

“Do I need a hundred or even a thousand years behind me to know what it means to love? To feel as if my heart might swell out of my chest each time I think of you, when I’m near you, or when I’m alone and…”

“And what?”

Her voice fell to a soft whisper. “Dreaming of kissing you.”

“Lust isn’t love. Most women who get to know me run for the hills.”

She touched his hand so she didn’t have to watch his lips. “It would be easy to list all the things about you that are annoying, but some of them are the things I’ve grown to love. I love your silly T-shirts because your humor makes me laugh. I like your friends and the way you are with them, even if they seem intolerant of your clothes and behavior. I like how intelligent you are. Maybe you dress like this so no one will suspect you’ve got the IQ of a genius. You’re patient, a skilled fighter, and you love playing games. I even love how you don’t just throw a bag of chips at me when I’m hungry, but you serve me a platter of gourmet food that you made yourself. If nobody sees all those qualities in you as good, then they’re crazy. I even love that you wear these silly long johns,” she said, pinching the fabric on his thigh between her fingers and then letting it snap back.

The unexpected contact sent a tingle through him.

“I suppose that means you want to change me. Women always enter a relationship like they do an apartment. A few flowers here, a throw pillow there—the next thing you know, the walls are covered in pastel paintings.”

She quirked her brow. “Are you saying we’re in a relationship?”

Simon reached over with his right hand and lifted her chin with the crook of his finger. “Don’t let my cheery personality mislead you. I’m not a nice guy, Ella. I savored tonight’s kill.”

“That doesn’t make you evil.”

“I enjoy the look in a man’s eyes when karma comes full circle. And that manky bastard didn’t deserve a quick death.”

“So then why didn’t you drag it out?”

His heart skipped a beat, and he couldn’t hold her gaze any longer. “I saw you teetering on the edge of that wall.”

“It’s not as if I would have died.”

Simon scooted down so that they were face-to-face. “No, you don’t understand. If you had fallen, you wouldn’t have seen him die.”

She leaned forward and lightly touched her lips to his. It could hardly even be counted as a kiss. Their skin barely met, and yet Simon had never felt a stronger connection or desire to consume everything about the person he was with.

He held her left hand since they were too close for her to read lips, and they began a conversation through touch.
Your body isn’t ready to be used again
.
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Promise me you’ll give yourself time to heal.

Maybe I’ll never be ready. Did you ever think of that?

His lips still grazed across hers, feeling the soft plumpness of her lower lip, the sweet perfume of her energy, the nearness of her heat that thawed some of the coldness in his heart.
You will. Someday you won’t feel hesitation, doubt, or fear
.

Do you have the restraint to just lie here and kiss me without expecting sex?
she asked in disbelief.

Simon thought about it, because that was a damn good question. Sex had always been his vice, and he’d never wanted anything more from a woman. He’d never imagined he could feel the same intense excitement and satisfaction without the sex.

Simon steadied his eyes on hers
. You said you had nothing left untouched, but that’s a lie. Your light is still pure. It’s still yours to share
.

Ella’s mind went quiet.

He broke their connection and turned over, reaching for something on the floor beside the bed. “I have a surprise.”

She propped her head up in her hand. Simon tossed her leggings—neatly folded—between them.