Rising Dark (The Darkling Trilogy, Book 2) (21 page)

A small sound of disgust escaped her.
She reached for a broom and quickly swept it out of the cabin,
shuddering as she returned the broom. But when she turned around,
there were five more by the table. She jumped when the five
inexplicably multiplied. A small cry escaped her lips when she
looked around the cabin and saw hairballs everywhere. She backed
away from them toward the door, but they were everywhere and
multiplying at a ferocious speed until the floor was covered with a
thick carpet of hair.

She brought her hand to her mouth as a
scream welled in her throat and escaped her lips.

I woke her before the panic could
begin to build. She was aware of my presence the moment her eyes
flew open and she jumped up from the table and ran outside the
cabin with a stream of threats and curses on her lips.

I was away from the slave quarters
long before she got to the door, but the stream of curses in my
mind followed me all the way to the Holbert plantation.

Suffice it to say, that is what gave
me the idea of tormenting John Holbert. I stood outside his bedroom
window that morning and created a very lucid dream. In the dream a
hooded figure had pushed him into a coffin and began throwing dirt
over him whilst he screamed and fought against it in vain. I kept
him trapped in sleep and the dream, even when he began screaming
out loud, waking up the other inhabitants of the mansion. It was
only when one of the house slaves entered the room and began
shaking him awake, that I released him from the dream.

But he continued to scream, and I
heard those screams and the slave’s attempts to calm him as I made
my way off the plantation.

That day Mama Akosua didn’t torment me
with dreams of Luna, but I felt her with me all day, her rage and
grief seemingly intensified by her silence. That wrathful silence
had a much worse effect on me than those dreams and the laughter
that had accompanied them.

So that night I made my way back to
the plantation after I left Luna. She was awake, as I expected, and
I waited by the trees knowing she was aware of my presence. But
there were no threats this time, only silence and anger.

To you, my words are
meaningless,
I said after a
while
. But I will speak them anyway. I am
sorry for what I did last night and for the pain you feel at Luna’s
absence. Were it not for the genuine joy I see in her eyes every
day, I would not hesitate to bring her back to you. That was a
cruel trick you played, one that is beneath you as you know I would
rather cut my hand off than touch her against her will. She is safe
with me, you know this. So let us be. Let me take care of her and I
will make your master give you your freedom.

There was only her silence and I
sensed that a creature like me addressing her in anyway, let alone
speaking into her mind, was a great offense and she would never
accept my offer to free her.

Disheartened, I left the
Marshall plantation and went to ground. In my lonely bed in the
dirt, I lay there thinking of what to do about the witch and also
wishing I had Luna in my arms. But that would only ever be a dream,
so I fell asleep with her face in my mind, knowing that at least I
would get to gaze upon that face come nightfall
.

The witch remained silent, but she was
a devious and persistent foe and she would never give up on her
daughter. She did not know where we were, but she was still able to
communicate with Luna, and plant seeds of doubt in her mind about
her decision to stay at the mansion with me. So the next two nights
saw Luna in a volatile mood, uneasy and argumentative.

On the first night she quarrelled with
me when she found out what had happened to the previous owner of
the mansion.

“
How you expect me to stay
in this here house when you done killed somebody in it!” she
snapped, her eyes flashing, her mouth in a hard line.

When I refused to take her back to
Mississippi, she threatened to leave the mansion and, to my
consternation, stalked out of the drawing room and into the
night.

I spent the next hour following her
through the woods until she eventually relented and let me take her
back to the mansion.

When I returned on the second evening,
I thought the dark cloud of her unease had passed. Instead it
seemed to have intensified. But my patience had long worn thin by
then, especially when she compared me to a slaveholder.

“
Do not call me that. I am
not your Master,” I snapped, a hard ball of distress curling within
at the insult.

“
Ain’t you?” she flung at
me, a triumphant gleam in her eye. “You took me from everything I
ever knowed and you won’t turn me loose. That what slaveholders be
doing all over Mississippi!”

“
You...you should not tire
my patience in this way, Luna. It is cruel. Besides, I am not a
man. If I want to force you to do something, I need not beat you
into doing it. I have only to think it and I can make you do and
feel anything I wish.”

“
What you say?”

Fury blazed in her eyes and she took a
step toward me. I immediately backed away, nervous as always
whenever she became angry. But this time I refused to be cowed into
submission, and when she persisted in antagonising me, I took
control of her mind, rendering her incapable of speech or of moving
unless I willed it.

She was completely defenceless now,
but anger smouldered behind her eyes, unsettling me. But I was
determined she see that she could not continue to toy with me in
the manner that she had been. So I closed the space between
us.

“
Can you see what I can do
now, Luna?”

Without even thinking about it, I
brought my hand up to her face and let it graze her cheek for a few
seconds. Perhaps she was listening to my words, for the fury had
gone out of her gaze and she was staring at me imploringly. What
was more, she was admiring me, and this time the image of the
gentle giant Jupiter did not intrude on her thoughts.

“
So please, Luna. Do
not...”

She moved forward, letting her chest
rest against mine and I let my words trail away. I could feel
desire emanating from her as she continued to admire me, and for a
moment, I let myself believe it was her genuine desire. But it
could not be. Her eyes were intoxicating, weakening me the longer I
stared into them and when she brought her hand to my face, I had to
close my eyes as I covered her hand with mine. When her thoughts
turned to my lips, and of a kiss, I opened my eyes. Like a cat
stretching, she rose up to the tips of her toes, seeking to place
her lips over mine.

Before I lost all power to resist, I
did the only thing I could at that moment.

“
Sleep, Luna.”

Her eyes fluttered shut and she became
limp in my arms.

I was shaking as I lay her down on the
loveseat. I had been so close to doing something that would never
be forgiven. Even now my will power was being sorely tested as I
gazed at her laying supine on the loveseat, remembering the feel of
her hand against my cheek, her warm, soft body pressed against
mine. I touched her face, yearning to place my lips against hers.
She would never know.

But it was a slippery slope that would
begin with a stolen kiss.

What else would I steal from her after
that? Would it then seem acceptable to take her by force as her
master had done time and time again, ignoring, no, sometimes
relishing in her obvious distress. Years of abuse that had left her
like a crushed and beaten rose? What would I take then? Her soul?
Emory’s smooth, boyish face came to me then as we had sat talking
so long ago in the chapel. The anger he had not managed to rein in
playing across his features, his bitterness like the soft slap of a
leather glove against my cheek, the feel of the soft leather
belying the seriousness of the action which was always a call to
arms. He had been so sure of his words then, that it was only a
matter of time before I became just like them.

And, like them, I would take whatever
I wanted from whomever with impunity.

So much power.

I took a step back. I had never wanted
anyone so much in all my years, the desire I felt for her was
excruciating. I backed out of the room until I was outside in the
hallway where I closed the door on her sleeping form.

What had I done? She trusted me. What
had I done?

The evening got much worse.

Luna awoke half an hour later and came
charging out of the drawing room to where I stood waiting in the
corridor.

“
I am sorry. I am sorry,
Luna. I—”

She slapped me and then slapped me
again. Soon she was delivering furious slaps across my head and
chest.

“
Luna, please stop. You
will hurt yourself.”

Surprisingly, she stopped and moved
back from me. Her breathing was heavy and her eyes burned with a
wounded fire. I felt shame descend on me in thick nauseating waves.
My voice shook when I spoke again.

“
I am sorry, Luna. I do
not...I did not mean... You do not know how angry I am with myself
for having done that to you. Please, Luna. Can you ever forgive
me?”

I made to move toward her, but she
sprang back like a skittish colt.

“
Get from me!” she
spat.
I ain’t
never
gonna forgives him for
this!

My chest clenched in distress and
anxiety slithered into my stomach.

“
Please, Luna. Do not say
you will never forgive me for I cannot bear that. If you knew the
turmoil in my heart you would forgive me in an instant.”

Silence descended on the room. She
stood there trembling slightly, her wide eyes clouded with
disquiet. I realised my mistake. She knew now I had been reading
her thoughts the entire time she had been in my presence. And if
her anger wrought deep pain, it was nothing compared to her genuine
hurt and distress.

“
I’s a slave,” she said as
tears welled in her eyes. “I ain’t got nothing for my own. I can’t
even call my body my own ‘cause it belong to Massa and any children
I has be his. My mind, my thoughts, my feelings—they the onliest
things I has for my own and you takes that from me,
too?”

“
Luna...Luna...I...”

I had been listening to the thoughts
of humans for decades without seeing it for what it was: theft. And
as the enormity of my theft became apparent to her, she strove for
words that would make me see the impact of my actions. Unable to
find the right words, she reached for images, memories and then the
one that had enraged me ever since I began looking into her
memories, the one that haunted her the most.

She was eight or nine in
the memory. And she was in the woods crying, her dress torn and
blood seeping through her legs. Master Henry had buttoned up his
trousers and was walking away from her back to his horse. But when
he turned to look back at her, it wasn’t Master Henry I could see
in her memory; it was me looking back at the wounded child with
callous indifference as she lay sobbing on the ground amidst the
trees
.

I gasped.

“
Is that how you see
me?”

She appeared startled for a few
seconds, as if she had almost forgotten I was there, and then she
seemed to clamp down. All I got from her lips, her expression, her
mind, was silence. This silence seemed to stretch on, and in the
end, I could not bear to see her looking at me in that way and to
know it was deserved. Distraught, I disappeared into the comforting
nothingness of the ether.

I reappeared some distance from the
mansion. In turmoil, I began to run, trying to run from that image
of me in Master Henry’s place.

That was how she saw me. I had waited
for so long and finally found her but this showed that I was, and
always would be, a monster to her.

I ran on into the night feeling as
lost as I had felt during all those decades in the wilderness with
only the watchful gaze of the moon for a companion, and on this
night, even that gaze seemed to be cold and accusing as I ran on,
unable to outrun my turmoil or what I had done.

I eventually came to a stop in the
middle of grasslands. There was nothing in sight for miles around
apart from a group of wild horses cavorting in the distance. I sat
down on the grass and wept silently with my head in my hands,
knowing that Luna would not want to stay at the mansion with me.
And how could I possibly refuse to let her go after what I had
done?

It was a long moment before I heard
movement to my right. I looked up to see a brown mare a few metres
ahead, her ears pricked, seemingly watching me in curiosity. I
glanced away from it. Most animals gave me a wide berth, their
primal instincts alerting them to the unnatural much faster than
most human beings. It would most probably wander away in a short
while.

Instead, it cantered into my line of
vision and stood staring at me as if curious. Intrigued by this
unusual behaviour, I stared at it. Then it moved forward and came
to stand directly in front of me. I got to my feet and reached out
a tentative hand, expecting it to back away. Instead it brought its
head down to meet my hand. I stroked it and it let me, showing none
of the natural fear most animals had towards the predator I now
was.