Ripe: A Stepbrother Pregnancy Romance (17 page)

“Oh,” Jesse said. “Well how long does it last?”

“Um…I don’t know. It’ll probably run about an hour or so, but it’s not until seven, so by the time we get home it’ll be way past Isaiah’s bedtime,” Elise explained, not wanting Jesse to get any wild ideas about coming over afterwards.

“Do you mind if I tag along?”

“What?” Elise raised an eyebrow. “You really want to come? Trust me, these things aren’t exactly fun. Not for parents at least…”

Jesse smiled at the fact that she’d referred to him as Isaiah’s parent. “Of course. I want to be there.”

Elise considered his request. There was a chance that having him accompany her might translate into him having some say in the decisions being made, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

“Come on,” Jesse spoke up, breaking her train of thought. “I’d just be observing. You don’t have to introduce me as his father or anything.”

Elise relented with a nod. She didn’t make it obvious, but part of her was happy to have Jesse tag along. These things were always so awkward alone. It also meant that she wouldn’t have to reschedule his time with Isaiah, which was too good of an opportunity for her to pass up.

When Jesse showed up at Elise’s apartment later that night and announced to Isaiah that he was coming with them, the child exploded into a fit of excitement.

“Isaiah, you need to settle down,” Elise reprimanded. “Stop putting on a show.”

“He’s fine,” Jesse countered, waving a hand in the air. “I don’t mind.”

When the three of them arrived at the elementary school, Isaiah caught up with his friends for a while but started to clam up while they waited for his teacher to call them in for their one-on-one meeting. They sat in a line of four or five other families, all with hyperactive children of their own by their sides.

“Isaiah Stone?” a tiny brunette woman called out, appearing in the doorway.

Jesse looked up at the mention of his last name. Up until now, he hadn’t known that Elise had taken it for Isaiah. He’d always assumed that she’d went with her maiden name.

Elise stood up to follow the woman into the classroom and Jesse followed close behind, allowing Isaiah to grab hold of his hand. As soon as the door closed behind them, his teacher bent down so that she could look him in the eye.

“Hi, Isaiah,” she said with a bright smile. “My name is Ms. Jennings. I’ll be your first grade teacher, but first we need to see how well you remember the things you learned in Kindergarten. Do you like to play games?”

Isaiah nodded incessantly. “Yes!”

“Great! Would it be okay with you, then, if we sat over at that table while your mommy and daddy stayed back here and watched?”

Isaiah responded in the affirmative, not seeming to realize that she’d just referred to Jesse as his father. Elise, however, wasn’t about to let that fly. As Ms. Jennings began to walk towards the table, she stepped over to her and pulled her aside. “Um, actually…it’s just me,” she expressed, keeping her voice low.

Ms. Jennings looked over at Jesse in confusion. “Oh, my apologies,” she said. “I guess it’s just…well…he looks so much like him. I guess I just assumed.”

“It’s really no big deal,” Elise explained. “The only reason I brought it up is in case you were to ask him about his family. I didn’t want him to get confused.”

“Right,” Ms. Jennings noted, glancing down at the paperwork from Isaiah’s file. “So just so we’re clear, his father isn’t in the picture anymore, or is that just the impression Isaiah’s under?”

Elise stared back at the woman at a loss for words. She was good; there wasn’t any denying that. “Uh,” she managed, feeling her mouth go dry. “I…I don’t really know.”

“That’s alright,” Ms. Jennings said, glancing back and fourth between Elise and Jesse. “Believe it or not, this kind of situation is more common than you might think—especially among children raised in a single parent household for most of their lives.”

“But do you think it will have an affect on his education in the long run?” Elise questioned. “Not knowing his father, I mean. Because it’s not his fault that we aren’t together.”

“Well, unfortunately, I can’t really answer that,” Ms. Jennings said. “But it’s important that you both know that I’m not testing Isaiah on what he does or doesn’t know. I’m just trying to see where he stands so that I can have a better understanding of his needs as his teacher. That’s all.”

Elise nodded and took a seat next to Jesse. When she looked over at him, she saw that he was watching her intently, but he didn’t say a word.

Isaiah did wonderfully on his assessment, but Elise knew he would. Ms. Jennings reassured her and Jesse both that he was definitely ready for first grade curriculum, and she assured them once again that it wasn’t so much
what
he knew, but how he behaved in her class. Isaiah was outgoing, vocal, and he enjoyed learning new things. Those were all characteristics she said she wanted to see in a child his age.

Elise hadn’t realized how stressed out she’d been about the assessment, but once it was over, she felt as if a load of bricks had been lifted off her chest.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Elise noticed that Isaiah was fast asleep in the backseat and let out a low groan. He was getting big, and with it, heavy. It was becoming more and more of a chore to carry him.

“I’ll get him,” Jesse volunteered, reading Elise’s mind. He’d been so quiet on the drive home that she’d almost forgotten that he was there. Almost, that is.

“Sure,” Elise said, feeling all the more grateful for his strong physique. When they entered her building, she paced to her front door and unlocked it, holding it open so that Jesse could rush Isaiah into his bed before he awoke. Once he was lying down, she wiggled off his shoes and socks and left him to sleep in the underwear he was already wearing.

When Elise made her way back into the living room, she fully expected Jesse to already be gone, but she wasn’t all that surprised when she found him seated on her couch.

“He did great tonight,” Jesse noted, not being able to mask the pride in his tone. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so impressed.”

“You think so?” Elise smiled at him. She was always glad to hear positive things about Isaiah.

“Yeah,” Jesse reinforced. “He’s gifted like you. I can tell.”

Elise blushed and studied her hands. “Jesse,” she said, suddenly serious. “Look, I know I should have talked to you about this earlier, but I was upset with you…”

Jesse raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

“I…I wanted to let you know that I applied for a case scouting position.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Elise said with a nod. “I know it might be awkward, especially since you’d be my boss, but it’s the only position that offers benefits to lower scale employees, and I could really use the–”

“Elise,” Jesse interrupted, reaching for her hand. “I’m glad you applied for it. I was hoping that you would.”

“Really?” Elise marveled at how laidback he was being. “Well like I said, I know it might be a little awkward, and that’s why I wanted to talk to you about it first. I wanted you to know that I don’t expect any special treatment or anything. I just didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else.”

“Like Davis?” Jesse questioned.

“Actually, working with him would be the only real downside I can come up with.” When Elise noticed the perplexed look on Jesse’s face, she was quick to explain further. “This is hard for me to admit, but you were right. He’s a
complete jerk.”

The two of them sat in silence for a long while, facing away from each other on opposite ends of the couch. It wasn’t until their fingers slightly touched that Elise realized how close they were. She looked up and saw that Jesse was looking right at her. She could tell by the look on his face that he had something to say, so she bit her tongue and refrained from speaking so that he could.

“What was it like?”

“What?”

“Giving birth to Isaiah,” Jesse whispered, waving a hand towards his bedroom. “Raising him by yourself. All of it.”

Elise looked down, feeling a knot surface in her throat. Jesse had given her the perfect opportunity to tell him exactly what he’d put her through, but somehow, she no longer felt such a burning need to.

“Honestly? It was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done,” Elise admitted. “When I went into labor, I panicked. All those weeks of Lamaze classes and all the advice in the pregnancy books I read immediately escaped my mind. I couldn’t think through the pain, let alone remember a single thing about what I was supposed to do.”

“What did you do? I mean…someone was there, right?”

“No. I mean…not at first, anyway. My parents still weren’t talking to me because of what happened between us. They were still furious with me. The only person I could really rely on was Deanna, and I barely knew her at that point. She was just my roommate. Even so, I kept waiting for her to come home from class, but she had exams that day and was gone for what felt like forever. Finally I just said fuck it and called an ambulance.”

Jesse felt awful, and it showed in his expression. “Was anyone in the room with you?”

“No,” Elise said. “By the time Deanna got all my messages, I was already holding Isaiah in my arms.”

Jesse smiled at the thought of his son as an infant. He hated himself for not being there. “Was it painful?”

“Are you kidding?” Elise laughed out loud. “God yes.”

“I can’t believe you did it,” Jesse said after a while, shaking his head in wonder. Elise looked over at him and frowned, visibly hurt, but he was quick to clarify. “What I mean is…I can’t believe that you made the decision to have Isaiah and keep him even though I ran off. You should take more credit for how strong you are. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met.”

Elise’s heart swelled as she digested Jesse's words. For the first time since his arrival, they were speaking to each other like civil adults. She wanted to take full advantage of the moment.

“Well what about you?” Elise found it in herself to ask. “Leaving couldn’t have been easy. At least…I hope it wasn’t."

“It wasn’t,” Jesse admitted, speaking honestly. “Sometimes late at night, when I was still at my dads, I’d think of you and I knew I was doing something terribly wrong. Something unforgivable.”

“Then why didn’t you just come back?”

“I was scared, and by the time I stopped being scared, you were already gone.”

“Oh come on, Jesse,” Elise said, feeling her anger begin to resurface. “You make it sound like you were gone for a few weeks or something. You were gone for months. You quit calling and writing. You just disappeared. What the hell was that? What was I supposed to do? Continue sitting around waiting for you forever?”

“I couldn’t handle it, Elise.” Jesse shifted and sat forward, clenching his jaw as he looked out into the night. “I was just a kid.”

“Yeah, well so was I,” Elise said, struggling not to raise her voice. “It’s not like I had the option to just throw in the towel and run away, now did I?”

“Elise, we had decided on adoption and you just up and changed your mind. You wouldn’t even talk to me about it. How do you think that made me feel?”

“Oh please! You have
no
right to place any blame on me. I’m not the one who walked away and left you with a responsibility no person should have to bare alone.”

“I’m not blaming you, but you can’t put this all on me either!”

“Oh the hell I can’t! I had to sacrifice everything to raise our son. Meanwhile, you were out there living the high life, and when you finally pulled your head out of your ass and decide you were ready to be a father, you just showed up here expecting all the perks and none of the obligations. It’s not fair, Jesse!”

“So what?” Jesse stood up. “I just had to sit in a room and listen to you and some woman discuss me like I wasn’t even there! You won’t even let me tell Isaiah that he’s my son! Do you honestly
think I’m not supposed to care about any of that because my house is bigger than yours, my car is newer, and I have a better job?”

Jesse’s voice broke an octave and tears of frustration gathered in the corners of his eyes, but he clenched his jaw and refused to allow them to spill over.

“He doesn’t even know who I am,” he continued, pointing in the direction of Isaiah’s room. “I’d trade
everything
I have to change that. So do me a favor, would you? Stop acting like you’re the biggest victim here, Elise. I’d say we’re about even.”

Elise shook her head, refusing to relent that easily. “Oh really? We’re
even
, are we? Tell me, Jesse, did you have to change his diapers during a bout of stomach flu? Do you press frozen peas to his head every time he gets a cluster headache because you can’t afford pain reliever? Are you the one who stays up with him late at night in the beginning of each winter, when he gets chronic earaches? What about when you’ve only got enough money for a weeks worth of personal sized frozen pizzas and a gallon of off brand lemonade, but you need to eat to? Did you experience all of that?”

Elise walked into the kitchen so that Jesse wouldn’t see her crying. She had finally been given the opportunity to say what she felt she needed to say to him, and all that came out was her envy. She loved Isaiah, of course she did, but that didn't make raising him alone any less hard.