Authors: Christa Roberts
“Oooh, hey. You are fast. You are really, really fast. I think I pulled a wing or something,” Blu said, flying behind Eduardo. He was struggling to keep up. “You are really fast for an old bird.”
Eduardo shot him a look.
Blu gulped, but continued. “For such a wise . . . wise bird.
Wise
is what I meant to say. Wise bird. Which sometimes comes with age, but also can happen when you're young like you, in your case.” He continued talking to try to undo what he'd just said. “You can be wise and young. Which is kind of a rare combination but thrilling when it happens.”
“Be quiet!” Eduardo ordered. “Listen to me, son. You have my family to watch over and you're . . . soft. You need to learn the basics of jungle survival. Patrol, provide, protect. You need training.”
Suddenly Eduardo barrel rolled into a nosedive as Blu watched, confused.
“Training?” Blu repeated. “I thought we were sightseeing.”
A few minutes later, Blu found himself lying in a mud puddle as Eduardo, camouflaged in mud, stood over him like a drill sergeant.
“Be one with the mud!” Eduardo barked. Blu started rolling around, not sure what to do.
“Feel it! Live it! Put that mud everywhere!”
Trying to please Eduardo, Blu started throwing mud on himself. But it got in his mouth, causing him to choke.
“Roll around! Roll around! Move it!” Eduardo continued.
Next, Eduardo took Blu deep in the jungle and had him hang upside down on vines. “You are alone in the jungle,” Eduardo told him, setting the scene. “You get caught in a trap. You hear that?”
“No,” Blu whimpered.
Eduardo's eyes widened. “It's the jaguars fast approaching! What do you do?”
Blu thought hard. “Well, if I had my fanny packâ”
“You use your beak!” Eduardo burst out. “Your beak is your most important tool!”
“Okay, use my beak,” Blu repeated. He tried to reach up and use his beak to cut the vine, but he couldn't do it. “I . . . almost . . .”
“Time's up,” Eduardo said, sounding disgusted. “You're jaguar meat.” He reached up and snipped the vine with his beak and Blu landed hard on the ground. “Roberto got it on the first try,” he told him.
Blu groaned. Of course he did.
The torture continued. Eduardo had Blu jump across a row of alligator snouts like a football player running through tires. “Come on!” Eduardo screamed at him. “You don't want to be eaten! Faster! Faster! Faster!”
Then they moved on to flying. Blu, his feathers covered with dried mud and while holding sticks, tried to keep up with Eduardo flying over the river. “Up . . . up . . . and hover! Hover! Now, backwards!”
“Backwards?” Blu screeched. “Only hummingbirds can fly backwards!” As he said this, Eduardo flew past him, backward.
“Backwards!” Eduardo shouted. Blu flapped his wings in all directions to no avail.
The river was next. Some pink river dolphins surfaced, chattering. They chirped something to Eduardo and he chirped back. “Under, over, under, over,” he told Blu, who weaved under the dolphins. “Higher! Lower! Good job!”
“Oh, thanks,” Blu said, relieved.
“Not you,” Eduardo said before high-fiving one of the dolphins.
Finally they took a break. Eduardo and Blu sat on top of a majestic tree in the middle of a Brazil nut grove.
“The beautyâthis whole grove is Brazil nut trees,” Eduardo said, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. “Our most prized crop. The trees feed us. Sustain us. We honor and protect all the nature around us, great and small.”
Blu's eyelids drooped. “Wake up!” Eduardo snapped.
“I'm up! I'm up!” Blu said, startled.
Eduardo caught a flower that had fallen off the tree. “From this tiny flower comes a seed. A seed that becomes the mightiest tree that shelters and nourishes us all.” He tossed Blu a nut, and then opened one for himself and ate it.
“I could use a snack,” Blu said, trying to bite into the nut. The nut jammed inside his mouth.
Some red macaws were watching them from the other side of the river. “Yo, Eddie!” one of them called. His name was Felipe. “Who's your sidekick? You got a nurse now?” The red macaws laughed.
“Imphhp Bluph,” Blu said, trying to introduce himself.
“Never mind him,” Eduardo retorted. “Aren't you boys getting a little too close to our side?”
Felipe grinned. “Your grove is looking mighty fine.”
“Yeah, and you boys better stay out of it,” Eduardo warned.
Felipe spread his wings. “Hey, relax. You know we got nothing but mad love for you.” The red macaws all laughed, and then followed Felipe as he flew away.
“They seem nice,” Blu said sarcastically.
“They have their side and we have ours. And it's going to stay that way as long as I'm in charge,” Eduardo told him.
A sound came from the brush nearby.
“Shhh,” Eduardo warned. He tensed as the cracking sound grew closerâand then they heard a bird squawk. The sound grew louder. Below them, Linda and Tulio were moving slowly through the brush. Tulio was making squawking sounds into a microphone.
“Linâ” Blu began before Eduardo clapped his wing over Blu's beak.
Linda looked up, searching the trees. Then she and Tulio moved on.
“What are you doing?” Blu said when Eduardo removed his wing.
“Are you out of your mind? They're humans!” Eduardo hissed.
“That's Linda!” Blu cried.
Eduardo looked puzzled. “What's a linda?”
Blu groaned. “She raised me.”
“What?” Eduardo looked stricken. “You were a
pet
?”
“No, no, no,” Blu clarified. “I mean, it wasn't like that. I was a companion.
“You liked it?” Eduardo asked, incredulous. “That explains everything.”
“Linda is family,” Blu said firmly.
The elder bird got in his face. “Family is family.”
Blu was fed up. “Eduardo, they are good people!”
Eduardo moved so his eyeballs were millimeters from Blu's. “There are no good people! Listen to me very carefully, either you're with us or you're against us. Understood?”
Blu gulped. “Yeah, got it.”
“Good.”
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When Blu and Eduardo returned to the village, Blu was feeling pretty low. He was tired, muddy, and still had a few branches stuck to his feathers.
“Blu! You're back!” Jewel said, flying over to him. “Was it fun?”
“Oh, we had a great time!” Eduardo said smoothly.
Tiago came over. “Dad, Uncle Beto showed me some cool flying tricks!”
“Uncle?” Blu repeated warily.
“Look!” Tiago exclaimed. “I can fly backwards!” And he did.
“You're a natural, T-Bird,” Roberto praised him. He and Tiago did a head butt and wing bump.
Eduardo looked on proudly. “You've got your mother's genes. It's never too soon to learn the ways of the jungle, Tiago.” He shot Blu a look. “Although some may never learn.”
Blu let out a tired sigh. “I'm gonna go clean up.” He flew off.
“We saw humans,” Eduardo told Roberto.
“Humans!” Roberto repeated, nervous.
“Calm yourself. I don't want that bird leaving the village,” Eduardo said, looking at Blu in the distance. “Keep an eye on him.”
Away from the group, Blu opened his fanny pack. Inside was the Tic Tac box. He popped a few in his mouth. “So minty.” He rummaged around the pack until he found the GPS. He tried again to punch in Linda and Tulio's campsite coordinates.
Bzzz. Bzzz.
A mosquito buzzed around him. Blu tried to swat it. He missed. He tried again. And missed.
Ping!
“Yes!” Blu cheered as the GPS found its signal. He reached into his pack, grabbed his bug spray, and sprayed it into the air, trying to get the mosquito. Instead, he sprayed himself in the eyes.
“Hey, sweetie, there you are!” It was Jewel. “Come on, the whole tribe is gathering for sunset.”
“Wait, wait! You know, we saw Linda and Tulio today!” he told her, holding up the GPS. “And I just found the location of their camp! We have to go get them and bring them here!”
Jewel didn't look so sure. “I don't know, Blu.”
What did she mean, she didn't know?
he wondered.
“What's to know? That was our plan all along, right? To help them find this place,” Blu reminded her.
“Maybe some places shouldn't be found,” Jewel told him. “Maybe they should just be left alone.”
Blu looked at her, not sure where she was going with this. The mosquito began to buzz again. Blu's head bobbed and his eyes crossed as he tried to follow it.
Jewel found it first. She snagged it right out of the air and gulped it down.
Blu stared, aghast. What had gotten into her? Jewel was taking this wild thing a little too far.
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Blu was freaking out to his friends. “She ate a bug!” he exclaimed to Rafael later that night. “A bug!”
“Blu, Blu, Blu. Calm down,” his friend urged.
Blu paced back and forth. “Oh! Oh! And her father? Total nut job. He's got this weird thing about humans. . . .”
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In another part of the macaw village, Eduardo was venting to Aunt Mimi. “He's got this weird thing about humans!” Eduardo said, shaking his head.
“I like him,” Aunt Mimi declared. “And so does Jewel.”
Eduardo wasn't having it. “How can he protect her? He's not strong enough.”
Aunt Mimi sighed. “Eduardo, give him a chance.”
“A chance?” Eduardo repeated, incredulous. “How can I trust a bird that's a pet? He is a liability and he doesn't belong here.”
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Blu continued to panic. “I don't even belong here,” he said, animatedly throwing up his wings. “I thought we were going on a little vacation. We'd help Linda and Tulio find the flock and then head home.”
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“I'm not even sure he's a bird,” Eduardo ranted, only half joking.
“But he makes our Jewel really happy,” Aunt Mimi pointed out.
Eduardo knew it was true. But still . . . “I just don't want anything to happen to her. Mimi, Iâ”
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“I can't lose her!” Blu cried.
Rafael did his best to calm him down. “She's wild about you, Blu. But she's also wild about the wild.”
“Which means, you gotta go native!” Pedro announced.
“Yeah, you gotta bird up!” Nico encouraged him.
Blu was confused. “Bird up?” What did that even mean?
Nico tried to explain. “You gotta give yourself over to this place, man. See it like she sees it!”
“Feel the rhythms she feels,” Pedro said.
“Taste the flavors she's tastin'!” Nico added.
Blu thought for a moment. “So I should . . . eat a bug?”
Nico and Pedro recoiled in horror. “Uh, no,” Pedro said quickly. “That's just nasty.”
Just then Carla arrived. She hurried over to them. “Guys, what are you doing? We've gotta get ready for tomorrow. Come on! Chop-chop!”
Pedro gave her an appraising stare. “Wow, she puts the business in show business.”
“Dad, you're coming to the show tomorrow night, right?” Carla asked Blu. “It's gonna be awesome!”
Blu nodded. “Yeah, sure, wouldn't miss it!”
Carla smiled. “Great. Now, no offense, but we need the stage.”
“You got it,” Blu told her. As he left, he accidentally bumped into someone. Nigel.
“Oh, sorry,” the cockatoo said, distracted.
“Sorry. Sorry,” Blu replied.
“Excuse me.” Nigel pushed past him, hurrying to rehearsal.
“No problem,” Blu replied, walking away.
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On the makeshift stage, Charlie was practicing some dance moves. Nigel wasn't having it. “No. Stop. Stop. Stop. Cut! Cut! Stop!” He grew more exasperated with each second. He stormed onstage. “Glitter! Where is my glitter? Glitter is absolutely essential for a magical performance. Do you know nothing?” he shouted. “Ugh, it's absolutely heartbreaking to see brilliant choreography being butchered. If we want this plan to work, you have to be perfect!”
Nigel showed Charlie the steps once more. “It's spin, right, grapevine left, and then, with you stage left, I will do my flourishâta da!âand Gabi, that will be the cue for you to do the deadly deed.”
Gabi let out a sigh. “Oh, Nigel. You are the maestro of mayhem.”
Suddenly, Nigel stopped short. Something was missing.
Charlie dutifully went off in search of glitter. Gabi gazed at Nigel, lovestruck. “Did that Shakespeare guy ever write anything about a pair of star-crossed lovers separated by a fate beyond their control?” she asked softly.
“
Romeo and Juliet
,” Nigel snapped, getting back into the rehearsal. “A tragedy. Both of them die in the end. It was a poisonous love.”
Gabi thought that was the most romantic thing she'd ever heard.