Ring of Light (15 page)

Annie nodded. “The clove wasn't in the recipe, but I thought it would be a nice addition. Is it too much?”

“Just right,” Ben said, taking another bite. “Just like I'd make it myself if I still could. Clove was always my secret ingredient.”

“You baked?” Annie said, astonished.

“I had to do something after the war,” Ben told her. “There's not much call for soldiers once the fighting's over. I was a baker. Worked in some of the finest restaurants in this country.”

Annie was speechless. She hadn't really thought about Ben's life before coming to Shady Hills. She knew about his brother, but that was it. Now she found herself wondering what else she didn't know about him.

“Tell me about baking,” Annie said.

Ben rubbed his chin. “It's like magic,” he said after a minute or two, and Annie noticed that his voice had taken on a different quality, softer and almost dreamy, as if he were telling a story to a group of children. “I liked pies the best, the way the fruit filled up the pan and how the crust went over the top like a blanket. I only used the freshest fruit,” he continued. “Peaches in August, berries in the fall. Blueberries as soon as they were ripe enough. I got the recipes from my grandmother—kept them in a little book. I think she must have got them from
her
grandmother, they were so old. She's the one who taught me how to make crust the right way. None of this store-bought stuff they have now.”

The old man's face had relaxed, and for a moment Annie could see in it the reflection of the face in the photograph.
He was handsome once,
she thought.

“Everybody loved my pies,” Ben said assertively, giving Annie a firm look. “Said they were the best they'd ever tasted.”

“I'm sure they were,” she said. “And I'm glad I didn't know you were a baker before I made this one. I never would have given it to you.”

“You could use a little help,” he said. “But it's not bad. Not for a beginner.”

Annie figured that the paint should be ready for a second coat, but she wasn't ready to go inside yet. Now that she'd found out a little bit about Ben's life, she had other questions. She wasn't sure how much he would tell her, though, so she chose her words carefully.

“Did you have any other family besides Tad?” she asked gingerly, afraid of spoiling the nice time they were having by being too personal.

He shook his head. “We had a sister, Rachel, who died when she was six. Scarlet fever. But that was the whole family. My father died not long after the war, and my mother several years after that.”

“And you never wanted to get married?” Annie said. It was the question she'd really wanted to ask him all afternoon, but she'd been afraid to because it seemed too personal.

Ben sighed. “No, I never married,” he said simply. Annie thought that he was through answering the question, but a minute later he resumed speaking. “I wanted to,” he said. “I was in love with a girl. Violet Marshall. I met her one summer while I was working at a seaside resort in northern California. She was also working at the hotel, as an assistant manager. She had the most lovely dark eyes, and the sweetest voice.”

“So why didn't you?” asked Annie. “Didn't she love you?”

The old man fixed her with a look. “Is it that hard to believe that a young lady would fall in love with me?” he asked.

“I didn't mean it that way,” Annie said.

“Yes, she loved me,” Ben said. “We were very much in love. But we didn't marry. At the end of the summer I went away without telling her why.”

“That's terrible,” said Annie. “It must have broken her heart.”

“Yes,” said Ben. “It probably did. I know it broke mine.”

“Then why did you do it?” Annie exclaimed. She hated the idea that Ben had been in love and lost it for some reason.

He sighed. “I didn't want to lose her,” he said. “I didn't want to wake up one day and find her gone, the way Tad was. I was afraid of being too much in love with her.”

Annie didn't know what to say. It was the most open, honest thing he had told her yet. And worst of all, she knew exactly what he meant.

“You didn't want to get hurt,” she said. “You didn't want to let her get too close because then it might end and you'd be alone again.”

She was speaking slowly. She'd thought that Ben was the one telling his story, but suddenly she realized that it was her story, too. It was the same way she'd felt since the deaths of her parents. She'd been afraid to let people get too close, or to get too close to them, because they might leave her.

“It was a mistake,” the old man said. “I was wrong. I thought that I could escape by choosing to be alone. But all I did was shut myself away. I didn't avoid the pain by pretending to choose solitude for myself. I only made it worse.”

He looked at Annie. His eyes were sad, but at the same time she could see in them a glint of happiness. What was he thinking about? she wondered. Was it Violet?

“You're the first friend I've had in many years,” he said to her, and she knew then what he was thinking about. It was her.

She couldn't speak, not because she was afraid of bursting into tears but because she didn't need to say anything. The look in Ben's eyes told her everything she needed to know, and she knew that saying anything in response would only spoil the moment.

“Don't run away from people, Annie,” he said softly, his tough exterior dropping completely for a moment. “Don't be afraid to love them.”

Annie didn't know if Ben really understood how close to home he'd hit. Was he speaking about himself, or did he see in her eyes that she, too, was terrified of losing the people in her life? It didn't matter. She understood what he was saying to her, and she knew that their friendship had changed both of their lives forever.

“What do you say we get back to painting?” Ben said, suddenly sounding like his old self again. “I can't sit out here all day yakking about the past.”

Annie nodded, clearing her head. She was still thinking about his last words to her as she gathered up the dishes and put them back into the picnic basket. Then she helped Ben get to his feet again, and the two of them walked back to the home.

“I don't know what I'm going to do now that I have this grand new room,” Ben said as they went inside. “I feel like the shabbiest thing in there.”

“Maybe we'll have to do a makeover on you,” Annie teased. “I'll set my friend Kate loose on you. She'll have you in something from J. Crew in no time.”

“Are all your friends as sassy as you are?” he asked.

“Worse,” said Annie, thinking about Cooper's sharp tongue. “Much worse.”

“I don't think I want to meet them, then,” said the old man. “One of you has been hard enough to get used to.”

They returned to his room and spent the next hour finishing up the paint job. When it was finished, Annie looked around. The room looked a thousand times better than it had before. Even the worn furniture had taken on a look of new hope now that the walls weren't so dingy.

“When the curtains are back up this will be perfect,” Annie said.

Ben was sitting in his chair, his eyes closed.

“Have I worn you out?” Annie asked him.

“I'm seventy-eight years old,” he replied. “And I've just eaten more at lunch than I usually eat in a week. I think I need a nap.”

“I'll leave you alone, then,” Annie said. “We're done here anyway.”

She moved his bed back so that it was close to the wall but not touching it. Then she made sure that his window was open so that the paint could dry and the fumes wouldn't bother him.

“You're all set,” she said. “Want me to tuck you in?”

“There you go again,” said Ben, sitting wearily on the edge of his bed. “Getting smart with an old man. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“I think you can handle it,” said Annie. She kissed him on the cheek. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Don't let Abercrombie see you doing that,” Ben chided her. “She'll think we're having a torrid affair.”

Annie rolled her eyes, waved at him, and left. As she walked through the hall to the front door, she thought again of what he had said outside. What would his life have been like if he'd stayed and married Violet? Would he be at Shady Hills now, or would he be somewhere else, surrounded by people who loved him? What exactly had he given up by leaving her at the end of that summer so many years ago?

And what about her? How many friendships had she passed up because she'd been afraid of getting close to someone? How many opportunities had slipped through her hands because of that fear? The deaths of her parents had taken a lot away from her, but she had let them destroy more than was necessary.

Not anymore,
she thought determinedly. She'd been right—Ben Rowe had come into her life for a reason. He was part of her path after all. And now that he was there, she was going to change. She was going to take chances. She wasn't going to lock herself away because it made her feel more secure. She was going to let the world in. She'd already started doing that with Kate and Cooper, and it had completely changed her life. Now she saw that there was even more that she could do.

She exited the building and walked into the glorious afternoon sun, her head filled with all kinds of ideas. But mostly she was thinking about what kind of pie to make for Ben when he came to dinner the next week.

CHAPTER  12

Kate was walking too close to the edge of the cliff. Cooper could see her following the path and walking happily as if she were strolling through a meadow instead of teetering on the brink of danger. She didn't seem to be at all aware of the fact that one wrong move would send her plunging headlong into the abyss that lay at the bottom of the mountain.

“Kate!” Cooper called out as loudly as she could. “Watch out!”

Kate didn't turn around. She kept walking, ignoring Cooper's warning. There was a bundle tied to a stick balanced on her shoulder, and it bounced with each step. Cooper thought that was strange. Then she noticed that Kate was also dressed oddly. She was wearing a funny hat that had three long points sticking out from it.

She's dressed like the Fool from the Tarot deck,
Cooper realized.
What's going on?

She was dreaming. Part of her mind understood that. But it seemed so real. She was standing on a mountain, watching her friend as she traveled a narrow path through treacherous rocks. Cooper knew that it was her job to help Kate, but she didn't know how. She kept calling out her name, but it was as if Kate were deaf.
Or you're invisible,
she thought. Was that it? Was Kate unable to see or hear her?

She ran forward, tugging on Kate's sleeve. Kate paused for a moment, looking around confusedly, and then kept walking as if nothing had happened.

“Kate!” Cooper yelled. “I'm right here! Turn around. You're going to get hurt!”

Again Kate paused for a moment, and again she continued on her journey through the mountains, oblivious to the fact that Cooper was following along behind her.

“Please, Kate,” Cooper cried. “Just listen to me.”

Kate turned around, looking right through Cooper as if she didn't exist. She shifted the pack on her shoulder, and as she did her foot slipped. She lurched sideways, leaning out over the edge of the path. Cooper could see the ground sliding away from beneath her friend's feet.

“No!” she screamed. She lunged forward, grabbing at Kate. But Kate continued to fall, tumbling over the side of the mountain. As she did, her eyes met Cooper's, and she looked confused.

“Why?” she said before disappearing.

Cooper woke up. She knew that it had all been a dream, but she was still frightened. Her forehead was covered with sweat, and she was breathing hard. She hadn't had a dream as real as that one since her encounters with the ghost of Elizabeth Sanger. But what did it mean? Was Kate really in trouble? Was Cooper supposed to help her somehow?

Kate was dressed as the Fool,
Cooper remembered. Was that some kind of a sign? If so, what could it mean? She sat up and thought hard, trying to think of any connection between Kate and the Fool. Then she remembered—Kate had drawn the Fool card in class several weeks ago. It represented the path she was traveling as she studied Wicca.

So why am I seeing her?
Cooper asked herself. After her intense experience with Elizabeth's ghost, she knew that her dreams were usually clues to something going on in real life. So what was this one about? Obviously it had something to do with Kate. But what? And why was Cooper trying to warn her?

She thought about it for a long time, but nothing came to her. As far as she knew, Kate wasn't in any kind of trouble. If anything it was her aunt who was in a perilous situation. But the dream hadn't been about Kate's aunt. It had been about Kate.