Ring of Fire Book Two of the McKay's (9 page)

A tear rolled down Letty's cheek as their joy filled her too. Maybe someday she'd have that joy too, but today it didn't feel like it. There were too many obstacles.

Julie and Cade had gone to Hawaii for their honeymoon and had a mountain of pictures and stories to tell.

It was a day of giggles and joy as everyone gathered about them.

Letty hadn't seen Hank all day
, and she missed him like a piece of her was torn off and missing. He hadn't worked in the corral or she would have spotted him when she went to refill the luncheon plate. Her eyes kept straying out the window to the corral, but there was no sign of him today.

A
s dusk settled, the house got quiet and Letty went to the kitchen to clean up. Sandy had a date with Candy Man. "You need to be careful, Sandy. Mike is nice, but he has been around, if you know what I mean."

"That's what attracts me so much. He's very mature for his age, and he knows what he's talking about.
He is so interesting to talk to."

"Sounds like you really like him?" Letty asked, a little surprised it had gone this far without Mike putting on the brakes.

"I do."

"Just be careful, I don't want to see you hurt."

"I'm a big girl now, Letty."

"Yes, but you aren't exactly worldly, and he is…"

"That's another thing I like about him." Sandy giggled and ran up the stairs to dress for her date.

Wendy was somewhere close to Wade, Letty was sure, and Kellie listened to her parents making plans for their future.

Letty felt restless, lonely, even.

Cade had built a place not far from the ranch and they would live there. That meant Julie would be moving out of the house and Letty already missed her and Kellie.

Things change, get used to it!

Lonely and out of sorts, Letty dried her hands on the cup
towel and wandered outside. She hated feeling this way. She wanted to be happy for her sister and family, but she knew she dulled their party. She'd never been rejected by a man before, and to think Hank Silver was the one to do it hurt.

Solitude would cure her.
She needed a place to think.

She strode up the hill from the house and stared out at the property. The land was exquisite in every detail. Wade and Cade had taken care of this place so long, they had every inch of it manicured to their lives.

Letty sighed. She used to come up here with her father every now and then just to admire the land, to get away from the rat race below, and to talk.

But today felt so different.

She wanted to talk, needed to talk, needed to understand.

She didn't want to dwell on Hank, but she could
n't stop her mind from going there. Hank wanted no part of her. He set the boundaries for them and that wouldn't change no matter what. Something squeezed hard in Letty's chest at the knowledge of how easily Hank had insinuated himself into her heart. She'd never been on a date with him. Never been allowed to be friends with him, and yet, she knew…she was in love with him. How could it happen like this? Love was supposed to come after you got to know everything about a man, and decided he was the one for you. After you dated for years and wore his engagement ring for months waiting on the wedding to come. It didn't happen that way for her. It hit her like a building storm that slammed into her heart and wouldn't let go, a hopeless storm.

Not a soul knew how much she liked Hank, and she wouldn't be confiding about that to anyone.

She shrugged, and sighed heavily.

That's when she he
ard a noise and a voice nearby, "Something got you, girl?"

It was Caleb. What was he d
oing up here? She glanced down the line of trees and then she saw him, sitting there on the ground, leaning against an old tree, staring at the evening sunset.

"Caleb, I didn't expect you up here." Letty tried to smile.

"Sunsets are nice, don't you think?" he said lowly.

"Yes
." Letty walked over to him. "They are. I used to come up here with Dad, every now and then. We'd sit here 'til the sun went down and talk. It's about the only time we really did talk. Up here we were just two people who mutually appreciated the beautiful sunsets. Not father and daughter."

"Ya know…of all the girls, I didn't think you'd be the one to miss him most
," Caleb said coarsely.

"You are pretty sharp
, Caleb. I hadn't planned on letting anyone else know that," Letty admitted as she sat down beside him.

He shot her a wry grin and looked away
. "I see it in your eyes. The sadness."

"I guess it is funny. I mean
, I was pretty selfish in my younger years. I wanted a career, a place in this world. I wanted to see the world, not stay on a ranch all my life, like Wendy." Letty chuckled.

"And did you see the world?" Caleb asked.

"All I needed, yes," Letty answered.

"Are you happy?" Caleb asked simply.

"No…I wouldn't go that far. I don't know exactly how it happened, but I lost my passion for law. Now all my problems are solved with Dad's money.
Isn't that grand?
"

Caleb glanced at her and looked away
. "Doesn't sound that grand the way you put it. Somebody left me that kind of money, I'd be tickled pink, especially if I didn't have to work for it."

"
You don't understand; I don't want Dad's money."

T
he old man's brows rose. "Why not?"

"Several reasons.
I guess that sounds strange to you. But… I never wanted it. I'd rather have him back. You see, Dad was my stabilizer in life. He kept me straight no matter how far off I wandered. He told me like it was. Even if it hurt. I miss that. And I need direction now!"

Caleb shook his head
. "It's true then…"

"What?"

"Money doesn't solve all the problems, does it?" Caleb injected.

"No…
but it creates a lot."

"
I suspected as much. I knew your father pretty well and all the money in the world didn't keep him from missing you girls."

"I should have been here, but I guess…
but you know, you just have to grow up somehow. Even if it means leaving the ones you love."

"
You haven't even gotten the money yet and already you are unhappy?" Caleb asked.

"I guess I jump in too fast. I let my emotions rule me. That's part of why I wanted to be a lawyer, to right all the wrong
s, to help the innocent. I knew from a little girl I wanted to help people. But even that is gone now. All I want to be…"

"Is what?"

"A woman. You see, law school kind of takes away from that. You fight so long about being respected that you lose a little of yourself. You get tough just like a man. It's not appealing."

"A woman
?" Caleb repeated. "Well, now…that's something."

"Dad would turn over in his grave if he heard me talking like this.
I want what Julie has: a man, a family, a life."

"What about
your modeling career?"

"It isn't a
career; it's a pastime, a way of paying my way through law school, and now a way of making a little money on the side. My own money. But I have no passion for it either. Even though I'm good at it." Letty chuckled. "But the competition in that field is way too high and I'd be too old for it by the time I reached it."

"
Too old?"

"Sure,
a model barely makes it to thirty before the wrinkles start showing up. That's not for me. I want to do it, because I enjoy doing it. Not because I had to knock a few girls out of my way to get there."

"So are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Good at it?"

"Very."

"
Well, you shore don't lack confidence." He chuckled.

"Well
, a person should know what they are good at, shouldn't they?"

"I reckon so.
So now you want to be an ordinary housewife with dirty dishes and snot nosed kids close by? Wow! What a change. How'd your dad ever keep up with you? I mean, with you changin' your mind so much."

Letty stood up and walked to the edge of the cliff.
She felt a little chuckle bubbling when she thought about it. "I think that's why Dad wanted us all to come home. To seek out what we really wanted in life. To find ourselves. Julie did. And I am so happy for her. She's had it hard, very hard."

"Couldn't she have come home and had it easier?" Caleb asked
, still sitting, and watching. "I mean, wasn't that of her own choosing?"

"
Maybe, but Julie and I have always been the most independent in the family. We had to get out of here to learn what life was about. What was important to us. How to make it in the real world. I think Dad knew all along, though, that we needed to come home to find ourselves," Letty admitted.

"Sounds like you were very close to your dad. You talk about him all the time.
You know that, don't you?"

"
I never thought about it. He was always closest to Wendy. She was the cowboy he never had. Me and Julie, we butted heads with Dad most of the time."

"Just 'cause you fought don't mean you wasn't close. Fightin' sometimes brings out things that need to be said."

"How many kids you got, Caleb?" Letty glanced at the old man.

"Too many, and none of them around here. They are all grown and have their own lives to live."

"You have a good knowledge of people though."

"Naw…just old and been around a while." He chuckled. "We best be getting' back, the sun is settin' now."

"Oh…yeah, I guess it is."

"These woods can be dangerous in the dark. Hope your problems straighten out, Miss Letty
," he added.

Letty sighed again and muttered as if to herself
, "I don't think so."

***

A few days later, Letty was riding back toward the barn when she saw Hank leaving. Curiosity got the best of her and she followed him on horseback.

She wanted to see what his home life was like. Letty knew that a man's family was a big clue into the man.

Even though there was little future in pursuing Hank, the need to know more about him kept her following him. She hoped his place wasn't too far away.

About to give u
p and turn around and go home, he finally pulled into a place out in the middle of nowhere.

She couldn't be sure he hadn't seen her, for it was hard to follow when there was no trail. She hid herself now in the bushes about the place and peeked through to watch.

In a moment, a little gray-haired woman came out on the porch, her smile was all for him and she took him into her arms the minute he mounted the porch steps. The woman was little and bent over a bit, her gray hair was short and glistening in the setting sun. But her attention was all for him and Letty could tell they were close.

They talked for several minutes before going inside, but it was long enough to see the contended look on both of their faces. So this was his grandmother. She looked so kind and sweet, and Letty had an urge to barge right in and introduce herself, but thinking about Hank's reaction kept her still.
Some things you just couldn't push.

This one time meeting would have to be enough.

Resigned to the fact that they weren't coming back out, she back tracked to the ranch where she settled her horse in the barn and she stopped long enough to curry him good before going in the house.

She didn't realize that tears were choking her. Seeing Hank with his grandmother just like he said made Letty feel so lonesome all of a sudden.

What made things worse, Julie was moving out this weekend and she knew the sadness that griped her wasn't just missing Hank, but missing a sister she had come to get close to, her family.

She sighed.
Now that Julie was married she'd be busy a lot, and there wouldn't be time for all the long talks they had when she first came home. Letty would miss that. Sandy was dating Mike and didn't seem to have much time to talk and Wendy couldn't keep her mind or eyes off of Wade for five minutes.

Now that Hank had practically told her they would never be anything to each other
, Letty felt a loss, deep within her.

She liked Hank. Really liked him. She couldn't remember the last time she could say that about a man before.

She thought Eric had ruined it for her long ago, but somehow she had survived the situation and in complete silence.

It had been a long time since she'd had such
a melancholy feeling swamping her. She had to get a grip. This was a happy time for her sister and niece.

But when Julie and Kellie came bouncing down the hall with smiles on their faces
, Letty felt the tears barely at bay. She didn't want to ruin this for them, but she was in pain keeping the tears away.