Riding Dirty on I-95 (37 page)

“I feel ya!” Nayshawn said, never looking at Cleezy. “I know their momma name is this ho name Tressa that used to live 'round Eastgate Village, and their pops was this crazy-ass motherfucker named Lucky.”

T
he family gathered around to hear what the doctors had to say. Judging by all Mercy's blood on their smocks the doctors looked like they had been operating on soldiers in Iraq instead of Mercy.

“We've done all we can do,” one doctor said, and Pearl screamed at the top of her lungs,
“NooooW!”

The doctor put his hand up to try to get Pearl to calm down and listen.

“Nooo!!!! Lord, don't do this to me,” Pearl continued with a heavy, guilty heart.

Ms. Pat put her arm around Pearl. “Let him finish,” she said in a comforting way, and looked to the doctor to continue.

“As I said, we've done all we can do at this time. At this point it's all up to Mercy. The next hours to come are vital. If she can make it through the next seventy-two hours, then she and the baby should be all right. We were not comfortable giving an emergency C-section, but the baby is fine. As I said, if she can fight and pull through the next seventy-two hours, she should be able to make a full recovery. At this point it's up to her, how hard she fights and how badly she wants to live.”

“There's gotta be something else you can do,” Nayshawn said.

“Honestly, sir, it's out of our hands. We've done everything we could.”

Cleezy spoke up. “Look, money ain't no issue. We ain't no poor black people with no insurance.”

“Money won't make a difference,” the doctor said.

“Can't we fly some more doctors in and do something? More experienced?”

The doctor looked at Cleezy and said with a bit of cockiness, “We are the best. In the late eighties, early nineties, Richmond was the murder capital, and we saw countless gunshot victims and pulled them through. So we are the best at what we do, but as good as we are, unfortunately it's out of our hands.”

The doctor looked at the family as if he wished there were more he could say, but there wasn't.

Cleezy muttered, “It's got to be something else we can do.”

The doctor looked him with a solemn face and said, “All any of us can do at this point is pray”

C
leezy sat by Mercys bedside. As her heart monitor line crawled across the screen and beeped slowly he took heed to what the doctor had said and prayed like never before.

God, I know I ain't never really asked you for nothing or been big into the whole religion thing, but in the message in church today, the minister said, “I have not because I ask not. ” God, I am asking you, I am begging you to spare Mercy's and my baby's life. God, you know like I know that I had turned into a cold nigga with an iron heart. Never did I think it was possible for me to love again, and especially after that mess with my momma. So I know the only way I could ever end up loving like I love Mercy was your will, and I thank you for that. I know God giveth and taketh, but please don't take her from me. I know I have to be accountable for all the lives I've taken away. I ask you for forgiveness of my sins, and please don't take her. God, you know my heart.

Never in his life had Cleezy called upon God like this. After the longest hours of Cleezy's life, as he studied the green line on the life-support machine, he finally surrendered his own will and gave in to the will of God.

Tears came to his eyes as he talked to Mercy. “Baby I always
wondered what would you ever want with a nigga like me. I always felt like you deserved so much more, but you always said that I was all you needed. Well, I need you, baby. I know you know that I ain't nothing without you. Never was I ever complete until you came into my life. Not only do I need you, I need you to be strong for our baby.” He poured his heart out to her. “This is the baby that we promised that we would devote our lives to. Remember in Miami you made me promise that I will never leave you. Well, please don't leave me. I love you, baby. Please don't make our life in vain. You have made an important impact on my life.” He tried to wipe his tears away, but he couldn't stop them from coming. He began to sob, and when he did, he heard the beeps go quicker and the lines begin to go higher.

Was that a sign that God had heard his prayers and Mercy could hear every word he was saying and that she was going to fight like hell to make it through?

A
s Mercy looked at the white light, she made out a smiling face. It was her father, Nate, and he was wearing all white. He looked so relaxed, well rested, young, and rejuvenated. Mercy smiled and ran over to give him a hug.

“Dadddyyyy, I love you. I am so happy to see you.”

“I am so proud of you, baby girl.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

“That's all I really wanted was you to be proud. Daddy, that's all I was living for.”

“I know. I was watching over you every step of the way, and I am so pleased with the woman you turned out to be. I know there were some things that I could not have prepared you for but—”

“It's okay Daddy. We're together now,” she assured her father.

The beeps on the heart monitor in the hospital room became slower and fainter.

“Are you sure you want to be with me?” Nate asked.

“Yes, Daddy. You have always been my world. I always strived to have your blessings even if you were not there. I have longed for
this day. The day that I could see you smile and hear you tell me a job well done and that you love me.”

“Job well done, Mercy. So you ready to go with me?”

“Yes, Daddy, I am ready,” Mercy said, like a little girl. “Yes, Daddy, I am ready.”

He extended his hand for her to go with him. Mercy walked closer and smiled. Her life was complete.

There was a long
Beeeppp!!!! BEEEEPPPP!!!
on the heart monitor. Cleezy started screaming,
“Noo!” Cleezy
hit the buttons to call for help, and screamed,
“Helppp!!!! Nurse!!
Nope, this shit ain't going to go down like this! Lord have Mercy!” He started praying, begging God, “Please, God, take me and let them live.” Never did Cleezy ever think that he would see the day that he would be willing to trade his life in for someone else's, and a woman at that. Cleezy whimpered and begged and pleaded to a God that just days ago he never believed existed, but these words or feelings Mercy never heard, because she was with her father now.

In the hospital room the nurses and doctors rushed in, pushing Cleezy aside. Hearing the machine go completely dead froze him. At that moment it was all real to him. It was that exact second that Cleezy realized he wasn't God. He wasn't Superman, and life wasn't for him to spare or give. The only life that he had ever truly valued was Mercy's, and no matter what he had done, it was out of his control. Cleezy had put Mercy before him and sacrificed so much of himself: his freedom, his money, his heart and trust. The only two lives that ever meant anything to him had been taken away, and there was nothing he could do. He was helpless. No money, power, drugs, or respect could give him what he needed or wanted most: his wifey and his unborn child.

Mercy was hand in hand with her father.

“There is no pulse, and no vital signs,” one doctor said in the hospital room. “I'm afraid—”

As Mercy took the first step to walk alongside her father, she heard a sound—“Maa-maaa, Maaa-maaa,”—a baby's cry, her baby. Her mother's intution kicked in. She knew it was her baby calling out for her. Without saying good-bye or thinking twice, Mercy let go of her father's hand and began running, racing to save her baby's life.

All of a sudden, the chaos and distress that filled the room turned to relief as the machine began to seem as if it had a mind of its own. Cleezy had lived an elaborate street life. He had seen, heard, and done a lot of things; but nothing could prepare him for the miracle that God gave him when he heard the doctors say, “Oh, my God, she's been stabilized. Her heart rate has stabilized, and pulse is almost normal.”

Cleezy felt like he was dreaming as he watched from the corner, as the stunned doctors looked around at each other. One of the doctors finally said, “Ladies and gentlemen, you have just witnessed a miracle.”

There was a brief silence, but then one doctor broke the silence with a bit of humor. “All bets are off on Roy Jones, Trinidad, Bernard Hopkins, Tarver, and The Razor. I am putting my money on Ms. Jiles. This is a real fighter we've got on our hands.”

Cleezy took a deep breath, looked up, and thanked God. Then all he said was, “Lord have Mercy!”