Riding and Regrets (17 page)

“You just called me a jerk,” Noel interrupted. “You love me and you called me a jerk, and said you’re not immature?”

Jody looked like he wanted to stomp his foot.

“You love me?” Noel said again, the words truly only registering then. “Me? You’re sure?”

He’d never seen Jody turn that shade of red before. The man was clearly angry at him. “Maybe we should talk about this in the car or when we’re back home,” Noel muttered.

“Home.”

At first Noel thought it was an order, then he saw the way Jody’s anger drained off. Had he just called Jody’s place home? He guessed he had. It was in part because he was still in shock over Jody’s confession.

Noel hooked his arm through Jody’s. “Car,” he directed. “Then I want to know why you got mad at me.” They weren’t parked far away. Noel got them to the vehicle then unlocked the doors. “Get in.”

When they were inside and Noel didn’t have to worry about nosy people listening in, he faced Jody. He could only think of one reason Jody might have got pissed off at him. “I wasn’t going to just assume you love me, Jo. Is that why you got mad? Because I didn’t take it for granted you’re in love with me? You hadn’t said anything like that until just a minute ago, and—”

“Neither have you,” Jody retorted acidly. “You still haven’t, and don’t if it’s just ’cause I said it.” He narrowed his eyes at Noel. “I know the truth. I see the way you look at me. I’ve watched you in the mornings, when you think I’m still asleep. You look at me like I’m something special. Someone special. So if you can’t say it, that’s okay, but don’t tell me I don’t love you. I do and I know it, and if you’d open your eyes you’d see it too.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “As for me being immature… Fuck you, no one’s perfect.”

Noel couldn’t have held back his laughter then if he’d tried. Jody’s stubbornness showed in his features, the way he held himself so stiffly. He was simply adorable, and Noel couldn’t believe he’d won the heart of this magnificent man. “Jo, I didn’t want to scare you away,” Noel finally said. “You— You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. Gorgeous, sexy, funny, loyal, and I love you so much sometimes I can’t breathe when I’m watching you. Everything just goes tight inside, and I feel, so much. So much.”

Jody was fast. He was out of his seat and halfway onto Noel in a flash. The little Fit wasn’t made for sensual encounters, but a good, solid, demanding kiss worked in it just fine.

Jody’s lips were swollen and dark pink by the time he moved back into his seat. “Think we can skip lunch?”

“Yeah,” Noel rasped. He buckled up and started the car.

“Did you mean it?” Jody asked about five minutes later.

Noel swerved slightly as he gawped at Jody. “Seriously, you’re asking me that?”

“I meant the home part,” Jody explained more kindly than Noel might have in his place. “I already told you I knew you loved me.” Jody placed his hand on Noel’s thigh. “Is your home with me and Prissy?”

Cold feet. Noel had heard the term before, but he’d never thought it was a literal thing. Jody was asking something bigger than whether Noel loved him. He was asking if Noel loved Prissy and wanted to be a permanent part of her life. It was a huge commitment. The most important one a person could make, agreeing to be there for a child and help raise him or her.

“I do, yeah,” Noel said before he could panic. He’d screwed up once today with Jody already. He was going to be clear and honest about his feelings now. “I do. I won’t lie to you. I’m scared about helping to raise Prissy. My parents sucked. That kind of thing can mess a kid up. Prissy’s so… She’s such a good kid. She’s taken to you and her new life like she’s always lived with you. I don’t want to ever cause her harm because I don’t know how to parent well.”

Jody squeezed his leg. “All parents screw up. They’re only human. It’s the trying, taking into consideration how your words and actions will affect your child ahead of time that counts. Admitting you fuck up is good, too. I know my folks would never have said they were wrong. To me, that teaches the kid the wrong thing. Grow up, screw up and don’t care who you hurt. So you just have to be committed to trying, Noel. I know it’s scary. I’m terrified every day when I didn’t used to be. Will Prissy get hurt? If she’s at daycare and cries for me, will that make her have problems when she’s older? What about her mom? How’s that going to affect her? Right now it doesn’t seem to bother her much, maybe ’cause Elena did pass her off on whoever she could. Later, though? When she’s a teenager? Or a mom herself?”

Noel gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles hurt. “There’s good things, too. The way she smiles and giggles. How she gets food all over her face no matter what she eats. When she curls up on her side to sleep. The way her mouth is open just a little bit and you can hear the soft puffs of her breaths. She looks so much like you, Jo, it makes my heart ache.”

“She’s beautiful,” Jody said. “I don’t know if I care about how she came to be, I’m just thankful to God every day that Prissy is here.” He moved his hand up to touch Noel’s cheek. “Same with you. I’ve thanked God more times for you and Prissy than I ever prayed when I had to go to church.”

Noel tipped his head to rub his cheek against Jody’s palm. He took a deep breath and found the rest of his courage. “Does this mean I can move in with you and Prissy now?”

“It does. It so does.” Jody leaned over and rested his head on Noel’s shoulder for a moment. “Then it’ll really be a home.”

Chapter Thirteen

Jody hung up the photograph of Prissy. “Is it level?”

“Yes!” Prissy clapped her hands and jumped. “It’s pwetty!”

“I’m gonna put pictures of you up all over the house,” Jody told her, turning to lift her up. “Maybe a couple of me and you and Noel.”

“I don’t know, if I pose with you two, I’m going to be the ugly guy in the pic,” Noel teased as he sauntered up to stand beside them. “I can’t compete with you two pretties.”

Jody snorted but Prissy became indignant. “Daddy’s not pretty. He’s a boy! Boys aren’t pretty.”

Noel gave him a sexy smile. “Look at him, Prissy. He’s got eyes the same as who?”

“Me,” she answered, obviously not catching on to what Noel was doing yet.

“Curly red hair just like?”

Prissy patted her head. “Me!”

Noel nodded. “Yup, and have you noticed his mouth? His top lip bows in just like—”

“Me!” She squealed and touched her lips. “Daddy looks like me.”

“And you are a very pretty young lady,” Noel explained, looking awfully smug. “Whose daddy looks just like her, from the top of his head to his pointy little chin.”

“Pointy…” Jody muttered, trying to deduce whether or not he should be offended by the little part more than anything else.

Prissy frowned, her little forehead wrinkling as she thought it out. She did have a small chin, pointed enough that it could put an eye out, maybe. Just like his. Jody tapped Noel’s foot with his.

“Daddy looks like me, so he’s a girl?” Prissy asked.

Jody glared at Noel. “No, I’m not a girl. I’m a boy, isn’t that right, Noel?”

That shit-eating grin made Jody want to jump Noel and strip him naked as soon as possible. “Your daddy is definitely a boy, honey. He just has pretty features, like you do.”

Prissy cocked her head and looked Jody over. “I guess he can be pwetty too.”

“Thanks,” Jody mumbled. He was so going to get Noel back for that pretty bit. He wasn’t flattered at all. He just had a tingly stomach.

“Why don’t we work on your painting for show and tell tomorrow?” Jody carried Prissy over to the battered kitchen table. He was going to sand it down and smooth out the wooden surface, then stain it a pretty golden yellow colour, as soon as he had the time to do that.

Noel had spread out newspaper over the top of the table and a small plastic tray of paints, brushes and paper cups of water were set out for them. “We’re all painting?”

“Sure,” Noel said. “Figured it’d be a good family thing to do.”

Jody lit up inside any time Noel referenced them being a family. Noel had moved in right after they’d admitted their love for one another. That had been just over a month ago, and earlier today they’d gone back to Junction for their second follow-up tests at the clinic.

To say that he was anticipating going to bed with Noel tonight would have been an understatement.

There was something about letting their desire simmer between them, too.

“What are we painting?” Jody asked as he tied a plastic apron over Prissy’s clothes. He’d dressed her in old stuff but he didn’t believe in being wasteful. If the clothes could be passed down to another child who needed them, that’s what they’d do with them.

“How come you ‘n Noel don’t have one?” Prissy plucked at her apron.

Jody looked at Noel for help.

“They didn’t have any in our size.” Noel’s voice went up on the last word, as if he was asking Jody.

“That’s not faih.” Prissy pouted at them.

Noel snapped his fingers. “I’ve got an idea!” He rushed over to the cabinet above the toaster and opened the door. “Here it is.” And took out the plastic wrap. He turned to Prissy. “Now, don’t you ever play with this. It’s not a toy. If you want to use it, you come ask me or your daddy.”

“’Kay.”

Jody wasn’t thrilled to find himself semi-covered in the stuff a short while later. It was actually ironic, considering that he and Noel would get to ditch the other kind of wrapping when they had sex that night.

Noel’s smirk told Jody they were on the same page with the irony.

“Now, what are we painting?” he asked Prissy again.

“Miss Seana said paint what makes us happy.” Prissy nodded after she made the pronouncement. She took a brush.

“Dip it in water first or it won’t work,” Jody warned.

Prissy huffed like he’d said the dumbest thing ever. “I
know
,
Daddy. I painted ‘fore.”

“Fridays at daycare,” Noel murmured.

“That’s right. I’m just not thinking today.” More like he wasn’t thinking about the things he should have been.

“We all have bad days,” Prissy said, sounding entirely too old for her age.

Noel chuckled. “Miss Seana says that any time one of her kids are cranky. The look on your face, Jo.”

Jody stuck his tongue out at Noel and Prissy laughed with delight. “Daddy, stop!”

Jody sniffed and tipped his nose up in the air. “I’m gonna make a better painting than Noel.”

Prissy dipped her brush in water. “What about me?”

“You’ll have the best painting out of all of us,” Jody promised her. “You’ve had a lot more practice than we have.”

Prissy got down to business. Jody couldn’t for the life of him tell what she was supposed to be portraying. He still told her it was brilliant, just like Noel did.

Noel kicked him under the table. Jody looked at him and caught Noel mouthing, “It’s on, buddy.”

“Challenge accepted,” Jody mouthed back.

Half an hour later, he was ready to throw away the paints, brushes, papers, all of it. “How does anyone make anything with these things?” he growled. “Except yours, baby, yours is amazing.”

Prissy pointed to her first painting. “This one is the puppy you pwomised me.”

“Just as soon as Mr Gentry’s litter is old enough, you’ll get to pick out whichever pup you want.” Jody and Noel had discussed it when Prissy had asked for a puppy for her birthday, which was quickly approaching. They’d obviously agreed, but Jody still had some doubts about the wisdom of taking on a pet. Noel, however, was as excited as Prissy about it, and swore that the pup would get lots of love and attention.

“This one’s Miss Seana.”

It looked like a blob of yellow, orange, and blue goop to Jody, but he praised Prissy’s work.

“An’ this one’s us.” She tapped one blue glob. “Daddy”—then the middle green one—“me”—and the last orange one—“Noel.” She beamed. “’Cause we’re a family!”

“We are.” Jody leaned over and painted the tip of her nose pink. “And you have paint on your nose!”

“Daddy!” Prissy tried to reciprocate but couldn’t reach him.

“Need some help, Prissy?” Noel asked.

And it was on. Jody had to call a halt when there was more paint on them than in the containers or on the papers. “Okay, bath time, kiddo.”

“I’m going to hit the shower once you run her water.” Noel stretched, and Jody got a tantalising glimpse of his taut stomach when Noel’s shirt rose up a couple of inches. “I’ll clean up in here so y’all can get started on the bath.”

“Are you sure? It’s a mess.” Jody hesitated, giving the room a once-over.

Noel made shooing motions at him. “It’s on us and the papers, mostly. Won’t take but five minutes on my part.”

“If you’re sure…” He waited until Noel shooed him again. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Prissy played in her bath and made another mess. Jody didn’t mind cleaning the water and suds off the floor. Prissy had fun, that was what mattered, and she was clean.

They had dinner with just the three of them. Jody felt kind of bad about the fact that they’d been doing so more and more often. No one seemed offended, though, and everyone still came by to tell Prissy goodnight.

“We’ll eat at the big house in the morning,” Noel said, as if he knew what Jody was thinking. Noel nodded. “You have that guilty look and I took a guess.”

Prissy yawned and Jody started in on her bedtime routine. An hour later, she’d been tucked in and kissed goodnight. He and Noel had each read her a story, and Jody smoothed her hair back from Prissy’s face as she closed her eyes.

No matter how he tried to braid it, some fine little hairs always slipped out. He guessed they were too short or he wasn’t skilled enough to make them stay in place.

Quietly, he stood. When she didn’t open her eyes or protest, Jody left her room.

Since he’d got in a shower before dinner, Jody went looking for Noel. He didn’t have to go far. Noel was on the couch watching a football game.

“Who’s winning?” Jody asked as he went to get a couple of drinks from the fridge.

“Not my team,” Noel groused. “They’re getting their butts handed to them.”

“So you owe me, according to our bet,” Jody reminded him. He sat down and handed Noel a soda. The game wasn’t even at half time. “If this keeps up.”