Ridiculous (26 page)

“A wig,” shouted Felicity. “We shall not leave this house until one is found.”

The door slammed in her face.

Millicent turned and wandered through the house not realizing that Merit was following her until the butler cleared his throat.

“Yes, Merit?”

“I believe I can aid you with your task. I can recommend a talented barber, sir,” said the butler. “My last employer was a gentleman with an unfortunate bald pate. Every week, it seemed, I was sent to obtain a new wig or to have his current one restyled.”

“Does he provide for ladies as well?”

“Oh, of a certainty.”

“Then, if you would be so kind, go and see this barber and bring back a selection of blond women’s wigs.” Millicent reached for her purse. “How much will you need?”

“Oh, he knows me, sir, so he will let me have a few on account and I will take back the ones that do not suit.”

“Thank you, Merit.”

Once the butler was gone Millicent checked the time by the grandfather clock in the hall.
Ton
events kept
ton
hours. Although it was past seven in the evening, it was still too soon to leave for dances that did not start until nine or ten, or later.

If they were leaving at all.

It was unlikely that even Merit would be able to obtain a wig tonight and even if he did Felicity was in such a state that she would not enjoy the tension and crowds of a successful
tonnish
event.

The rattle of plates and shuffle of feet in the dining room told her that the family planned to dine before embarking on this evening’s entertainment and the servants were busy preparing the table. Millicent stood in the hall and wondered what to do. Should she dress for the evening or not? Did Felicity’s prohibition on leaving the house apply to her, Mr. North?

Since the last thing Shoffer had said to her was that he looked forward to that evening’s entertainment and the plan was that he would send around his second coach for the Boarder family, Millicent went to the study to draft a note. It was possible Shoffer already knew about the disastrous hairstyle from Beth. Still he should be advised that he need not have his horses put to or have his grooms labor unnecessarily with the carriage.

The note sent, Millicent peered into the dining room. The table was set, food prepared, and servants waiting to serve. Even though she was not dressed properly, Millicent went into the room, sat alone, and dined. If the ladies of the house wanted food they would have to come down and get it, since Millicent also directed that no trays be taken to rooms that evening.

There were, Millicent decided, as her orders were obeyed without protest, some advantages to being male.

* * *

Mildred arrived before the covers were taken away.

“Are you going out tonight?” she demanded without preamble.

Millicent shrugged. “I have no idea. I assumed not so sent a message to Shoffer saying we would be spending the evening at home.”

“Oh, bother.” Mildred sat and stared at the empty plate before her.

“Do you want something to eat?”

“Oh, the dessert will do,” Mildred smiled at her sister. “I commend you for the cook you hired. He has a way with sponge cake that I admire.”

“Thank Mr. Simpson. He took care of all that. And you, was there a particular reason that you wanted to go out tonight? A beau, perhaps?”

An attentive servant placed a dish of poached pears with clotted cream before Mildred.

“Beau? Me? Good heavens, no, North. It is my concern for your current status that prompts me to suggest you should not miss an event where you are expected. You are fashionable at the moment. It would not do for the hostesses to discover you could not be relied upon.”

“You have a point, and Lady Fenton did approach me personally last night to confirm my attendance.” Millicent leaned back in her chair, eyes closed. “What should I do?”

“While a lady cannot attend a party alone without causing comment, a gentleman may do so at will.”

“I do know that, Mildred, but the entire point of us coming to London is for you and Maude to parade along the marriage mart.”

“I could come with you. A male cousin is an unremarkable escort. We sent in our acceptance. Someone should go.” Mildred grinned. “I only say that since it would be impolite not to.”

“Yes, I see you are motivated by sincere disinterest.” Millicent nodded, even as she shared a smile with her sister. “I suppose we could walk over. Shoffer was right. This house is close enough to walk to most of the best parties.”

“Walk? Walk to an evening engagement? Never! Mr. North, have you forgotten, we have our own equipage!”

“Really? Since when?”

“Since the very efficient Mr. Simpson brought it around.”

“I did not know that. No one discussed the pricing with me. What size is it? Where do I go to hire a driver or reserve a place in the Mews?”

“Oh, Mr. Simpson took care of all that.” Mildred waved her hand airily toward the rear of the house. “All we need do when we want to go out is to ask Merit to send for it. Shall we do it now? I should like to make my first foray into society in my own carriage.”

“Your carriage? Oh, well. But, I should like to know, how much is all this costing?”

“Does it matter?” asked Mildred.

“Well, yes, a little,” cried Millicent. “We are not all that wealthy and this year has more expenses than Mr. North’s estate usually carries. Added to that, I was required to grant more than a few of our tenants extensions on their rents or reductions due to it being a poor season.”

“How am I supposed to know?” Mildred’s raised voice gathered more than a little attention from the watching footmen. “You say nothing to us about money. You say nothing at all that cannot be taken as a joke.”

Millicent flushed as she realized the truth of that accusation. Like many men of the
ton
she had considered the women of her family unable to comprehend the complexities of finances. And she was a woman!

“Please, Mildred…” Millicent stammered. “I am so sorry. I should have done better.”

“You certainly should have, Mr. North. You used to talk to me about everything and this last year we barely saw you, heard from you. If you do not share your troubles and concerns with me, you cannot expect me to be able to help!”

“Dear God,” moaned Millicent, hanging her head and pressing her fingers to her temples where a headache threatened.

“And moderate your language in the presence of ladies. I have noticed a regrettable tendency toward swearing of late. Most ungentlemanly.”

That at least brought a smile to Millicent’s face.

“More and more I begin to understand Shoffer’s point about club membership.” Millicent laughed, as she leaned back in her chair. “I am sorry to distress you, Mildred, dear. Things are not so bad as you suspect. I can afford to keep a carriage, and a few more servants will not be the difference between comfort and the poor house.”

“Are you certain? I can speak to Mother and Maude. We need not go about with Lady Beth shopping as much now that we have our wardrobe for the season. Although, I do need a larger reticule suitable for evening engagements. Lady Beth has brought them into fashion.”

“Dear Mildred, do not worry. Go ahead and enjoy your shopping trips. I would appreciate it if you kept to your budget, though, if it is not too much trouble.”

“I do not understand. I know there is something that is troubling you. There has been for a while.”

Millicent nodded. Turning to the nearest footman she said, “We shall take tea in the front parlor.”

Offering her arm to Mildred they traveled silently through to the parlor. After settling her sister in the most comfortable chair, Millicent paced the room for a while before standing with her back to the fireplace, her hands clasped behind her back.

“You know,” said Mildred thoughtfully, “there are times when you remind me much of our father.”

Millicent smiled at that. “Who do you think I took as my model?”

“Father never joked about as much as you do.”

“Granted, but he worried about money more and now that I have the role of man of the house I find that worry is no longer the appropriate word. There is no word to describe the vacillations between security, confidence, and uncertainty. ”

Mildred went pale. “Please, Millicent, tell me. You begin to frighten me. What is the matter?”

Millicent crossed the room to the chair nearest her sister and leaned close. Even then she kept her eye on the door and her voice low.

“The late Mr. North was not a miserly misery for no reason. He inherited the tendency. I have seen a copy of
his
father’s will. In it the late Mr. Christopher North insulted our Mr. Anthony North by declaring him to be a degenerate wastrel. Christopher put strict limits on what Anthony could spend and forbade him from selling any part of his inheritance. Our Mr. North was only regarded as a place holder until he died, then the rightful heir, Perceval, was supposed to inherit everything.” Millicent sighed and ran her hands over her face. “It is a constant worry to me, the fear that I shall not have the correct amounts in the bank if I should die. The late Mr. North described to a penny what should be in the accounts. Should I permit you and mother and Maude to buy all you wish I might overspend and…”

“And what?” cried Mildred. “Shall Perceval North drag you out of your grave to hold you to account? What a ridiculous thing to worry about! When you are dead what more can be done to you? Surely you do not think that the North family has influence over God or the devil so that they might petition that you make good on the missing funds from beyond!”

Millicent gaped at her sister for a moment before laughing.

“Oh, Mildred, I should have told you ages ago. I should have known that you would put it all in proportion! But, dearest, do you not see? By the terms of this dreadful will I cannot make over a dowry to you or Maude!”

“Can you not? I cannot see that being much of a problem; after all, when we are wed the money goes into the keeping of our husbands. Mr. Perceval would find it difficult to get it back once it has passed out of your hands. It is not as if he is able to go to every tailor you bought clothes from or every butcher who supplied your meat and demand the money back. Once you have spent it, it is done!”

“The tailors and butcher, I grant you, are beyond his power, but if he were to sue for the return of any money I gave you as a dowry, it would be quickly gone. Solicitor’s fees do rack up at an alarming rate.”

“Hmmm. You do have a point. Perhaps Maude or I will marry a lawyer. It is not as if we have caught much attention amongst the
ton
.”

“Marry into trade,” cried Millicent, in mock horror, one hand pressed to her cravat. “Mother will expire from the shame.”

They both giggled, unable to stop even when a knock at the door heralded the arrival of the tea tray.

Millicent rose as the door opened and resumed pacing. A maid carried the tray across to set it beside Mildred’s chair. Millicent waited until the girl was gone again before continuing.

“I worry from time to time what shall happen to you all if I am found out,” she said. “They will hang me and all the money will go to Perceval.”

“They will not hang a woman,” declared Mildred.

“Why not?” asked Millicent. “They beheaded a queen or two in the past, did they not? I do not fear for myself so much as I worry about the three of you. I must find some way to provide for you all.”

“That is what marriage is for,” said Mildred.

“Which brings us back to tonight’s gathering,” said Millicent. “Shall we go out? All joking aside, we are unlikely to find your husband lurking in our parlor.”

“I should like to. It will not take me long to prepare.”

“Cousin Felicity will not approve. She did declare no one was to go out until Maude has her wig.”

“Oh, bother Mother. She has taken to bed with a sick headache brought on by her snit. It is likely she will never know.”

“As you wish.” Summoning the maid Millicent said, “Inform Merit we need the horses put to and the carriage prepared. We shall go out in an hour.”

* * *

Millicent approved the carriage Mildred selected as she settled back against the gently broken in leather squabs. The brilliantly polished lanterns’ glass inserts were intact and the floor clean – a great improvement over a hackney. They arrived at the ball just before the receiving line ended and were met with such enthusiasm by the hostess as to be very gratified.

“Mr. North. You are here!” was the cry when the hostess spotted them climbing the stairs toward the ballroom. “I was beginning to despair of you.”

“I do apologize, Lady Fenton,” said Millicent, bowing over her hand. “My new coachman could not believe that such a rattle as I would be invited to your sophisticated revels. Convincing him I was worthy took a few moments.”

Lady Fenton tittered politely as she led them down into the ballroom, ignoring all the other late arrivals waiting to greet her, Mildred following on Lord Fenton’s arm. The hostess undertook to introduce “Mr. North” to all those of importance in the room, thus guaranteeing that Mr. North’s presence at her gathering should be gossiped all over town.

Millicent did her best to satisfy the reason for her invitation. She joked with a parliamentarian about the subtle insults with which the Tories and the Whigs described each other. (The Right Honorable Bastard from West Cumbria is no Gentleman!) When faced with a gathering of dowagers and match-making mamas, she teased that the number, color, and positioning of the feathers in their hair was a coded signal, sending messages to their spouses and children. Released into a crowd of wallflowers Millicent continued her “cult of the cat tail” jest and signed as many dance cards as she could.

Mildred, to her own satisfaction, danced with a number of young bucks eager to claim they had spent a few minutes in conversation with the famous Mr. North, or failing that, his cousin.

* * *

Millicent was quite satisfied with the evening right up until her descent to take breakfast the next day, when she was greeted by Felicity waving a copy of a London gossip sheet.