Ride Me Cowboy (4 page)

“I was just thinking that same thing,” I said. “I
have no idea what to do in there, either. He hates people in his kitchen.”

Lexi smiled. This time I was looking at her out of
the corner of my eye. She was looking at me again. Maybe my attraction to her
isn’t quite so weird. Maybe she’s feeling it, too. Did that make it more or
less weird? I’m not sure. It’s creepy either way, I guess.

 
“Is this your
specialty?” she asked Dad, looking back at him so I was free to stare at her
again. I could tell that her interest in him and what he liked to do was endearing
to him. She was good. I was still a little nervous and hesitant around her
mother and I’d known her for months. Hell, I even lived here for at least half
the year and it was still not completely comfortable. I used humor a lot. It
helped me fill those awkward silences. Lexi was talking to Dad
like
she’d known him for years.

“It’s one of them,” he told her with a wink. Then he
looked at Lydia and said, “Tell her what you married me for.”

“Cheesecake,” Lydia said.

Lexi laughed. I really liked the sound of it. “Well,
that makes perfect sense,” she said. “When I was a little girl if either of us
was upset about anything, we had a cheesecake night. She always used to say
that if she could find a man who could make a cheesecake better than the
cheesecake factory…”

“I’d marry him,” Lydia finished for her. They
laughed again. God, she’s gorgeous. But it was more than that. It was the real,
easy relationship she had with her mom and the way she was going out of her way
to get to know my dad. She wasn’t at all the city snob I thought that she would
be. I was beginning to think I might actually want to get to know her…now that
was weird. She suddenly turned her interest on me and for the first time since I
was in grade school, I almost choked up. Women didn’t usually affect me this
hard. Nothing really does. I have a tendency to stay pretty laid back about
most things. With Lexi, it was different for some reason. It was actually hard
to look at her when she looked directly at me because all of my vital signs
went through the roof.

“So Mark, do you cook, too?” she asked me.

“Sure, I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich.”

“Your dad didn’t teach you the secret to the
cheesecake, at least?”

“I tried,” Dad said. “He was too busy with the
bulls.”

Here we go, I thought. “Bull is right,” I said. “He
didn’t try at all. He was afraid if he gave me the recipe then I’d get all the
girls instead of him.” Dad laughed at that and so did Lydia and Lexi. She was
looking at me again, and I just kept on talking, “Speaking of bulls, I’m riding
in the rodeo in Woodlake tomorrow. You should come and watch me.” Did I just
invite her to go with me to the rodeo? Is that too freaking weird? No, it
wouldn’t be a date or anything, she’s family. I needed to say that over and
over in my head like a mantra until it stuck. She’s family…she’s my
stepsister…she’s so hot it hurts to look at her….

“Hey! That’s a great idea,” Dad said. “The whole
family should go. It’ll be fun.” Wow, that wasn’t really what I had in mind,
Dad. Thanks. But then again, I did not need to be alone with this woman. God
only knew how long it would be before I tried something incestuous. There was
also the fact that Dad was trying to support what I’m passionate about…well,
pretending to anyways. I guess that’s better than
nothing
.

“Sure,” Lexi said, looking at her mom who was
nodding. She looked back at me and smiled again. “That sounds like fun.” I had
to wonder if she meant that, or if she was faking it like Dad. She probably
would have said no if it were going to just be us, so I guess I should be
grateful to Dad. She genuinely looked enthused…so maybe…

CHAPTER
SEVEN

LEXI

I was sitting in the little window seat in “my”
room. From the window I could see across the massive acres of the ranch. There
was a lake that I hadn’t noticed on my way in today sitting off in the distance
like a mirror in the center of a carpet of grass. It was night, but instead of
being dark, the sky here was lit up by things you had to squint through the
smog to see in the city. The moon was huge and bright and the sky that had been
orange and purple only an hour ago had now transformed into an expanse of inky
black dotted by a canopy of luminous stars. Some were obviously far away, dull
and only flickering into existence every now and again, but there seemed to be
hundreds of them that hung close and low in the sky, adding a shimmering light
across the countryside. The distant lake glistened and mirrored them, giving it
an otherworldly glow. I was mesmerized by it all and at the same time, I was
shocked at myself. One of my favorite things about where I lived in the city
was the ability to look out and see all the lights at night. It was comforting
to me somehow to know that while I slept, there would always be someone else up
and bustling around busily. Here it seemed like the whole world was asleep. All
of the lights outside were natural ones. No houses or buildings all lit up. It
was weird, but instead of being discomforted by that as I thought I would be, I
found it peaceful and relaxing. Maybe I really did need a vacation in the
middle of nowhere.

The rodeo that I had so readily agreed to go to
tomorrow was in a town a few hours away, so we’d be leaving early in the
morning, but I was too wound up from everything to sleep yet. Besides, it was
only ten p.m. At home I’d be up until at least one or two. Mom and Rob had said
goodnight at nine and I’d escaped up here to make sure my hot stepbrother and I
wouldn’t be alone. He’d already gone outside by that time to do…something. I’m
not sure what you do way out here in the middle of the night. Honestly, I’m not
even sure what a person did during the day. In the city, my mother did a lot of
visiting with her friends and shopping when she wasn’t playing the piano for
her church or a wedding or some other kind of party. I wondered if she ever got
bored out here. I know I would. All this peace and quiet would probably be a
novelty for a while, but it would wear off quickly, I’m sure.

 
I thought
about how quickly I had said, “Sure,” when Mark mentioned the rodeo, and I
wondered if that was because being with family was what I was here to do or
being with Mark was what I wanted to do. I was suspicious of my own intentions.
Throughout our “family” dinner, I had to keep reminding myself not to stare at
him. It’s not fair for him to be so damned good-looking. I don’t know why he
couldn’t be ugly. He could at least have a hooked nose or a wart on the end of
it or something. I did notice that every time I looked at him, he was looking
back at me. I’m not sure if that makes it more or less creepy if he was as
interested in me as I was in him.
Probably more.
I’m
pretty sure that two people with dirty thoughts at a family dinner were even
worse than one. Dinner was nice other than my
perv-ing
on my stepbrother. Rob seems really nice, and Mom seems happier than I’ve seen
her in…I can’t remember how long. She deserves it.

I was about to get up from the window seat and head
for bed when I saw movement down below. I looked down to see Mark unsaddling a
horse. I wondered what he was doing, going for a ride at this hour. He had a
rifle attached to the side of the saddle, and I thought about Bullwinkle. I
wondered if he was a hunter like his dad. I watched him take that off and then
unhook the saddle and slide it off. He didn’t see me watching him, so I took
the opportunity to study his profile in the moonlight. He looked a lot like his
dad, but Rob’s features were harder, maybe from a longer, harder life. Mark’s
features were more subtle until you got to his eyes – they just popped. Rob’s
eyes were blue, but nothing like
Mark’s
. It was a good
defense for why I found myself staring at him. I imagined that most people
would find them hard to look
away from
. I wondered if
he had a girlfriend and then I wondered why that should matter to his “sister.”
Mom told me that Rob was a widower. I wondered how old Mark was when his mother
died. I felt bad for any kid who had to grow up without a mom. As I was having
these thoughts, I wondered why I was wondering so much about him. I also forgot
that I was still staring at my stepbrother. He had stopped what he was doing
and he was waving at me. Damn it!

I smiled and waved my hand and then for effect, I
covered my mouth with my hand and yawned. He grinned, obviously knowing I was
full of shit, and then he pointed at the horse and then at the moon. If he
thought I was taking a moonlit ride alone with him, he had another thing
coming. Pervert! He continued to stand there and look up at me, and I decided I
would go down there and tell him I was on my way to bed so that he’d leave me
alone and I could get some rest. It was purely logistical so that I could talk
to him instead of sign. I didn’t want to be close to him, or out in the
moonlight with him…God, this is insane!

I made my down the stairs and then quietly out the
front door and across the porch. When I got to the bottom step, I saw that a
bunch of wooden planks had been lain down across the mud puddles. I smiled. I
guess it’s better than
nothing
. It made me like him
more though and I was already on dangerous ground there.
I
made my way across them and over to where Mark was standing next to the
beautiful big, black horse.

“Oh good, you came down,” he said. “Are you going to
take a ride with me? I’ll saddle him back up.”

“I just came down to tell you thank you for the
offer, but I’m going to turn in early. It’s been a long day and we have to get
up early tomorrow, right?”

“We don’t have to leave until seven. That’s not so
early. Come on, if you’ve never been on a moonlit ride, you’re missing out. You
can’t stay on a ranch and not do it at least once.”

I was tempted. It was so pretty out. I was surprised
at how appealing I found my surroundings all of a sudden. But getting on the
back of a horse and holding onto this guy would be a big mistake. My hands
around his waist would only make me want more. There is no way that I’m getting
on one alone, either. I’d only been on a horse once in my life and that was a
pony at a county fair…it was a really big pony.

“I don’t know how to ride,” I finally just admitted
it. It’s not
like
he didn’t know I’m from the city.

“You can ride with me.” There it is – the offer I
didn’t want. How do I refuse it? I couldn’t tell him that I don’t trust myself
with my hands wrapped around his waist. I guess I didn’t really owe him a
reason. A simple, “no thank you” would suffice.

“I think I’m going to have to pass this time,” I
said. He looked disappointed, but he didn’t argue with me anymore about it.

He saw me looking out towards the lake and said,
“Okay, but you should at least let me give you a riding lesson or two before
you go home. There really is nothing like it.” Okay, so at least he wasn’t just
being creepy about getting me on the horse with him. Those thoughts were
probably all in my head anyways. He was probably just being nice. I nodded.

“Do you ride every night?”

“I ride every chance I get,” he said.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“What was the rifle for?”

“Coyotes and bobcats,” he said.

“You shoot them?”

He smiled.
“Only if I have to.
The drought is driving them out of down out of their hiding places looking for
water and food. They’ve been attacking the cattle, and Dad’s lost quite a few
head over the past month. When I go out for my ride, I just take the rifle as a
precaution. You’re not PETA are you?”

I laughed. “No, I was just curious. You said ‘Dad
lost cattle,’ don’t you consider them yours, too?”

He looked out across the ranch and explained, “I
love this place. I grew up here and it’s in my blood. The land draws you back
over and over…sometimes even when you don’t want it to.” That was all he said
about it and something told me that was all he wanted to say, so I let it go. I
had to wonder what he meant by “Even when you don’t want it to.”

“Do you hunt like your dad?”

He smiled again. “You are PETA, aren’t you?”

“I was just curious,” I said with my own smile. “I’m
not judging.”

“No,” he said. “I don’t hunt. I don’t fish either.
Pretty sad excuse for a country boy, aren’t I?”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not doing
either of those things…but why not? Obviously you’ve been exposed to it.”

He shrugged and said, “Ever since I was a kid, I’ve
felt more comfortable with animals than I do people. I just don’t see any reason
to hunt or fish unless you need to in order to eat. We slaughter our cattle and
we eat that…and the chickens and pigs. I don’t have issue with
that,
it’s the big circle of life. But when it comes to
sticking a hook in the mouth of a fish I don’t need because I have a freezer
full of beef or shooting Bambi’s dad…I’m just not interested.”

“Oh, I agree.” I was surprised. I don’t know why. I
guess just my own city ideas about country people. “Was your dad really
disappointed that you didn’t enjoy those things with him?”