Richelle Mead Dark Swan Bundle: Storm Born, Thorn Queen, Iron Crowned & Shadow Heir (25 page)

He was right in a way, I realized. This was my means of getting back at both them. Aeson for flaunting Jasmine. Kiyo for breaking my heart.

“Please,” I said. “I'll do it. I-I don't mind. And anyway…I have to get Jasmine back. I can't handle her being with him anymore.”

Dorian was quiet for a long time. Finally he said, “All right.”

I snapped my head toward him. “You mean it?”

“Certainly. We'll go back to my room and see how you do.”

“See how—? What's that supposed to mean?” Was the deal contingent on how good I was in bed?

He smiled. “I'll get Nia to take you back. I have to mingle a bit more and will join you soon.”

Nia arrived as if by magic and did exactly as he'd said. Once alone in his massive chamber, I paced restlessly, reconciling myself to sex with a full gentry. It would be easy. Nothing to it. I just had to lay there. Gentry didn't carry diseases like humans. I couldn't get pregnant. One night, and I could finally get revenge on that bastard Aeson and the smug look on his face. And yes, Dorian had been right: I'd be getting revenge on Kiyo too. Who knew? Maybe sleeping with Dorian would fill the terrible, aching hole Kiyo's betrayal had left in me.

“Admiring the view?” asked Dorian when he finally entered. I stood by the huge picture window, staring at my own reflection in the dark glass.

“I'm never here in daylight. I've never seen what it looks like.”

“It's lovely. You'll see it in the morning.”

I supposed I would. He took off the heavy robe, poured a glass of wine, and sprawled back on the pile of pillows on his bed. The move seemed less an initiation into sex and more of an expression of fatigue. He looked very ordinary. Very human.

“You look tired.” I leaned against the bedpost, watching him.

He exhaled heavily. “It's hard work amusing one's admirers—as you can no doubt attest to. How'd you like your first royal party? Tell me who you spoke to. Your night must have been more tedious than mine.”

Gingerly, I sat on the bed's edge and recounted the night for him. I gave my opinions and offered up as many details as I could on my many solicitations. Names eluded me, but Dorian could identify the culprits pretty easily based on other identifying information. He laughed so hard at my accounts and opinions, I thought he'd start crying.

Swinging himself up gracefully, he slid over on the satin coverlet to sit beside me. “You poor, poor thing. No wonder you like hunting us down. Although, I confess after my own equally inane experiences tonight, I might have a few names to give you.”

“You shouldn't say things like that.”

He shook his head and laughed. “Stay here long enough, and you'll say them too.”

Those gold and green eyes watched me, glimmering with both affection and desire. For a moment, I could almost believe Dorian wanted me for
me
and not for my human fertility or connection to a prophecy.

Resting his hand on the back of my neck, he kissed me, and I had no more time for questions. We'd kissed a lot by now, and his lips still held that same silky softness, that careful precision and control. I was used to this, and it warmed up every part of me, but tonight's inevitable conclusion loomed before me. My lips almost faltered but still managed to kiss him back. I could do this. It was easy…right?

He gently lay me back on the bed, still kissing me as he rested his body partially across my own. The heat and weight of him triggered something pleasurable within me, even as some part of my brain suddenly started pining for Kiyo and recalling every bad thing I'd ever been taught about gentry. My breath quickened but not from passion.
No, no,
I chastised myself, forcing my body to not go rigid.
This is Dorian. There's nothing to be afraid of.
But I was afraid. This didn't feel right. I couldn't let myself do it, even though I knew there was no reason not to. I hung out with gentry now. I had titles. I wanted to learn their magic. I wanted to kill Aeson. And yet, somehow, some part of me refused to give into this final—

Dorian broke away from me and sat up. “It's as I thought. You don't want to really do this. You're afraid of me.”

I half sat up, propping on my elbow. Swallowing, I tried to breathe more steadily. “Didn't you say once that you wanted me to be afraid?”

“Not
this
afraid. Besides, your heart is a bit muddled tonight.”

He rose from the bed and casually poured another goblet of wine. Sipping from it, he walked over to the window and stared at the nothingness, just as I had earlier.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I told you before. I don't take women who don't want me.” He kept his back to me, but his voice held that usual carefree tone. Like everything was still just one big joke. I wondered if he was upset. I couldn't read him at all.

“Er, wait…” I scrambled off the bed and grabbed his arm, nearly spilling the wine. “What are you saying? We have to do this. I swear, it doesn't matter. I want to do this. Really.”

“Maybe. You don't look at me like you do the kitsune, but I've felt your desire before. It's a fleeting thing, though, and it can't quite win against that part of you that says not to submit to one of the shining ones.”

“Maybe we can ignore that part.”

He laughed and touched my cheek. “I adore you, you know that? I'm so happy I met you.”

I swallowed, anxious and desperate. “Please, Dorian. I want to get Jasmine. We have to do this.”

“We aren't doing anything like that. Not tonight, I'm afraid.” He walked away and sat back on the bed near the headboard, just as he had earlier. “I will, however, make you a deal. We will postpone our arrangement until you're ready. In exchange for this grace period, I add the further caveat that we won't go to Aeson until you've made some suitable progress with your magic.”

I thought about our last couple of dismal lessons. “That might take awhile….”

“Then it takes awhile. Really, if you want every edge you can get to defeat him, you'll be better off knowing something about your power, even if it's small. Your weapons are strong, but if they're gone…then they're gone.”

I wanted to fight him on this, to tell him I couldn't wait that long. Fuck the magic. Fuck my prudish resistance. We should get the sex over with and just grab Jasmine.

But I knew he was right. On all levels. He didn't deserve my body without my mind being into it, and I did need every advantage I could get.

“Well, then…can we practice tonight? Seeing as how nothing else is going on?” If I distracted myself, maybe I'd stop hurting for Kiyo.

“No point in bothering with tact, eh? Very well, then, let's see what we can accomplish.”

I dragged a chair into the middle of the room while Dorian produced some more cords from his never-ending supply.

“Beige and violet,” he said, holding them up. “To match your dress.”

“It's ‘champagne.'”

He didn't tie my hands this time, but he did completely bind my torso. Again, he used intricate patterns as he worked, integrating unique braids and weaves. The purple silk crisscrossed around my breasts, and each time his hand brushed some sensitive part, a secret thrill would run through my body. What was the matter with me? If I could have these physical reactions, then why couldn't I have sex with him?

The binding took forever, just like always. It made me so impatient, but Dorian clearly enjoyed it. He worked with infinite patience, careful of every weave and knot. When he finally finished, he stood back and surveyed me, just as he had the last two times.

“Very nice,” he observed, eyes taking me in.

A strange thought occurred to me as I sat there. I willingly let him do this to me, but really, it was a leap of faith. My arms might be free, but as he stood over me, I realized how helpless I was. How totally in his power I was if he wanted to abuse it.

But he didn't. He never did. After blindfolding me, I heard him fetch the water pitcher from the other room. Once it was apparently hidden, he returned to the bed. I heard the bed shift under his weight, the sound of more wine pouring out.

“Have at it,” he said.

I focused just like I'd done in our last two lessons. My mind expanded, reaching out into the room, trying to find the water I supposedly had an affinity for. I repeated the same exercises, visualizing moisture and wetness. The way it felt and tasted.

Yet, when I pointed to where I thought the water jug sat, he told me I was wrong.

So I tried again. Three more times, to be precise. Failures each time.

I heard him yawn. “Would you like to call it a night? I dare say this bed is big enough for us to sleep chastely in. Or, if you wish, I have no qualms about sleeping on the sofa in the other room.”

“No,” I said stubbornly. “I want to try again.”

“As you like.”

Again, I went through the motions, hating them yet burning with need. I wanted to do this. I wanted to control the power. I might have failed at sex tonight, but I would not fail at—

“It's there,” I said suddenly.

“Where?”

I pointed, and in my outstretched hand, I could almost feel something wet. It was so easy. How had I not noticed this before?

“It's right beside you. Really close. If you're still lying on the bed, I'd say…elbow level. Maybe on the table.”

He stayed quiet.

“Well? I'm right, aren't I?”

“Check the rest of the room.”

My hopes crumbled. “I was wrong again.”

“Just check. See if the water is somewhere else.”

I didn't get his game. Why the vagueness? Had I found it or not?

But I tried again, reaching out into the room. That spot near him pulsed to my senses. The water was there, I knew it. So what was this all about?

Another spot suddenly called out to me. I reached for it without using my hands this time, and that same strong pulsing reached back. And with that sensation came a slight tingle, only a spark, but it whispered of the power I'd felt in the dream-memory.

“Okay. Right by the door. On the floor, I think.”

“Yes.” The response was surprisingly simple and clear. No jokes or games.

“Right? I'm right? Really? You're not just messing with me so we can go to bed?”

I heard his soft laugher as he walked to the door and then approached me. Taking my hand, he dipped it down into a ceramic pitcher, and I felt cool water slide over my hand. I laughed, ecstatic and empowered. I felt like splashing it on both of us.

“So what'd I find the first time then? By the bed? It must have been something, judging from your reaction.”

“Indeed it was.”

He took the pitcher away, walked toward the bed, and returned to me. I felt his arm move toward me, and then the scent of something strong and fruity touched my nose.

“The wine,” I realized. “I found the wine.”

“Yes. Quite remarkable too, considering I'd almost drank it all.” He set the decanter down and untied my blindfold. “Now, my dear, it's time to go to sleep.”

He knelt before me and started the tedious process of undoing all those ties and knots. I waved my free hands.

“You want help?”

He shook his head. I could smell the wine on him. “No. Leave me my simple pastimes, please.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Probably.”

He worked steadily on freeing me from the cords, his fingers a little less precise than they'd been earlier. I again felt that strange chill over being so ensnared.

Released at last, I stood up and stretched. “Can I have some of that?”

I wanted to celebrate, and after weeks of good behavior, I realized I could safely drink here. Funny that the safest place for me now would be in a gentry's keep.

He held up the decanter. There was probably only one glass left. He eyed it askance for a moment and then took off his shirt. Perplexed, I watched him walk over to the door and stick his head out.

“Yes, sire?” I heard a voice say.

“We need more wine!” declared Dorian in a booming voice. “Lady Markham and I have a lot more to do tonight.”

“Right away, your majesty!”

“Hurry, man. You have no idea how demanding she is. I can barely keep her satisfied as it is.”

I heard boots running on the stone floor. Dorian shut the door and turned to me.

“Your wine will be here shortly, and my prowess will no doubt be proclaimed throughout the castle.”

I rolled my eyes at his show. “So did I pass the test?”

“Hmm?”

“You said I had to make progress in magic before we could go get Jasmine.”

“Oh. That. Well, this wasn't exactly progress.”