Rhythm, Chord & Malykhin (10 page)

He opened his mouth to say something else but he must have understood how serious I was because he closed it. Nodding, Brandon looked away. I took a second just to look at the guy I'd been with for two years.

Brandon was good-looking and tall and lean, but now, I didn't look at him the same way that I used to. None of the physical crap really mattered in the long run. A part of me wanted to focus on everything that he wasn't, but there wasn't a point.

He’d made me look like an idiot. More than anything else, that was something I couldn’t ignore.

I sucked in a breath and smiled in his direction, letting the anger bubble inside of me. It was in that moment that I asked myself what I would regret more later on sitting in my bunk: being an adult or making myself feel better.

And I knew. I knew deep in my heart what exactly I would regret more. A smile easily crawled across my face as I said, “Thank you for seeing things my way.”

He eyed me suspiciously for a second before nodding, his own little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I’m sorry for everything.”

I nodded.

Then I took two steps forward, holding my arms out at my sides as if I was going to give him a hug… and when he started to lean in, I went onto the tips of my toes and punched him almost as hard as I could right in the throat.

He made this choking, puttering noise as he bent over at the hips, but I wasn’t looking at him any more.

When I pivoted around to head back toward the venue with vindication in my veins, I happened to look up at the windows of the bus to see my brother and Sacha with their faces pressed up against the glass, looks of amazement on their faces. I waved.

There. Now I could go to sleep tonight. Otherwise I would have lay in my bunk with my hand fisted and called myself a coward for not going for it.

The rest of the night went by pretty uneventfully. Laila had apparently made friends with Carter, from the way I found him behind the Ghost Orchid merch table, sitting right next to her. During a break between songs, she asked me loud enough for Carter to hear, “What happened?” All I said in response was, “I punched him in the throat,” which made her burst out laughing and led to Carter asking if it was Mason I punched.

Once she got herself under control right around the time Ghost Orchid went onstage, she kept slapping my shoulder when she got excited. It was a slower night than usual so I had a lot of time to watch their set and The Cloud Collision’s. Sacha moved across the stage so effortlessly and with so much energy it was electric. Even if he wouldn't have one of the most striking faces I'd ever seen, it would have been impossible to keep my eyes away from him. He was a performer in his blood.

Most importantly, he was my friend. When Gordo had stayed inside after he found out Brandon was around, Sacha had been the one to go find him with me because he was worried I would do something bad. If that wasn’t friendship, I didn’t know what was.

At some point in the middle of their set, when he usually got chatty with the audience, telling them some short story about the road or his life, I realized that if anything—Sassy, in his black pants, light blue button-up, and skinny navy tie—was a loyal bastard.

"Do you know what I hate?" he asked the roaring audience in front of him. They screamed all kinds of things in response.

"Pussy!"

Sacha shook his head and pointed in the direction of where the person had screamed. "Nope. I like that."

"Guys in skinny jeans!"

He shrugged dramatically. "Whatever, man."

A couple other people screamed other random things until he waved them off, pressing the microphone really close to his face like he was going to tell the thousand-plus people in the audience a secret. He held up one finger, which he pointed straight ahead almost as if he was pointing at me in the back.

"Pickles," he screamed and then extended his middle finger, still pointing straight ahead. "And dicks!"

Immediately, the loud bang of the bass drum picked up, signaling the start of another song.

I almost pissed my pants from laughing so hard.

I
was
in love with the world and with the men in my life the rest of the night.

Why hadn’t anyone told me that being loved and cared for—albeit in a strange way—could be so awesome? I felt like someone pointed a wand at me and cast a spell that was all rainbows and unicorns. My brother called Brandon a mangina, and Sacha followed that up by calling him out in front of a thousand people. What more could I ask for?

As soon as Carter and I got done loading the dolly with bins and tearing everything down, we made our way out of the venue. Laila had left minutes ago, explaining that she had to be up early for a class she was teaching and her mom didn’t want to pick her up too late. With a flurry of hugs and promises to text me the next day, I said goodbye to my best friend for the next two months.

I saw Eli first, standing with his back to me after loading his drum cases into the massive trailer. With three long steps, I launched myself on top of his back, wrapping my arms around his neck to kiss his cheek. "I love you," I told him, pinching his cheek.

"Fuck, I'd love you if you lost ten pounds before jumping on my back again," he huffed, hoisting me up higher on his back with one hand.

"Whatever," I muttered, pinching his cheek again. "Thanks for standing up for me, Eliza."

"Somebody's gotta do it, Flabby. If I would have known you were gonna punch him in throat, I would have taken it easier on him, you fucking psycho." He laughed. “I swear to God, seeing you do that almost made me cry.”

I snorted, the curiosity killing me. “What happened after I left?”

“He sure as hell didn’t say anything when he got back in the bus. He waved at his girl and got the fuck outta there, but not fast enough because I made sure to laugh right in his face. Sacha had to go into his bunk from how hard he was laughing.” He snorted. “Mason was pissed off he missed it.”

It hit me right then that I hadn't seen Mason all night. He'd gone out of his way to ignore my text messages, but then he also hadn't been on the bus when the Pickle-Dick incident went down. I knew that son of a bitch. There's no way he would have just sat back and done nothing. "Wait. Where was he?"

I could feel the rumble of my brother's chuckles from beneath me. "I think it's better that you don't know just in case the cops ask."

"E!"

A hand smacked my ass really hard and I yelped. Not surprisingly, Mason stopped right next to us, smirking. "That's my payment for tonight,
my ball-and-chain,” he said with a fake leer.

"What did you do?" I hissed, but really I was obscenely interested in what he'd done. I'd gladly trade a bruise on my butt to find out.

He shrugged. "Let's just say Brandon is going to need three new tires and a car wash, Flabs. He had it coming.”

My small Grinch heart swelled and swelled.

Eli turned us around so that my butt was in front of Mason one more time before the jerk slapped it even harder than the first time. I jumped off of him, rubbing my poor cheek in hopes the sting would wear down, and then called them both dicks that I loved. Grabbing clean clothes from the compartment beneath the bus, I overheard yelling coming from inside. Since I didn't know exactly who was involved, and I definitely didn't want to make it awkward by walking in during the middle of an argument, I waited until the voices lowered.

Once inside, I spotted Julian and Miles sitting in the living area looking pissed off, the frowns they shot my way were anything but nice. Yet I didn’t give a single shit.

In the back area, I found Sacha and Isaiah in the bunk space, going through their backpacks quietly. It didn't take a genius to figure out that it'd been Sacha and the two in the living area who were fighting just a minute before. It was my fault—well, Brandon's for being an idiot—that it had happened.

"I'm sorry about all that," I told him from the door.

Sacha's gray eyes shot over to me as he tossed his backpack inside his bunk. His facial expression softened and he shook his head. "Don't worry about it." His cheeks pulled up into that crooked smile that made my insides turn to goo and the sensation made me feel weird. What the hell was going on? "It was worth it,” he continued.

I shoved the gooey feeling aside and focused on him and what he’d done. "It was pretty awesome," I laughed. "Thank you."

He lifted a shoulder but kept those hypnotic eyes on me. "Anytime,
Streetfighter
."

I snorted before closing the distance between us and throwing my arms around the middle of his chest, hugging him. It took him all of two seconds to realize what I was doing before he wrapped his arms over my shoulders, squeezing me to him tightly. I didn't care that he was sweaty, that his undershirt was drenched and clinging to him like a second, wet skin, and obviously he didn't care that I'm sure my hair smelled like it could use a wash, because he hugged me for a minute that seemed to stretch ages and eons. This was my friend, my friend who got into an argument with people he had a more important relationship than the one we had, and he didn't care.

I hugged him even tighter.

It was in that moment, when I was hugging him as if my life depended on it, that I recognized the strange, gooey emotion that had been floating around in my belly the last portion of the night.

I liked Sacha.

I
set
my book of the moment on my lap and nodded over at Mase with a straight face. “Okay. I’ve always wanted to see what a hermaphrodite’s body looks like.”

Gordo snickered from his spot across the living space from his bandmate and me. We had a day off for the first time in nearly three weeks thanks to a twenty-hour drive between cities. At the eighteenth-hour mark, the cabin fever and boredom was beginning to reach epic proportions. Not even Mario Kart could ease the hysteria bubbling up through all of us—or at least those of us who were awake.

“You know I’m a man,” Mason objected, yanking on my earlobe in retaliation.

I smirked in his direction, eyeing the black hair that was in need of a good washing. “If it looks like a woman and screams like a woman—it’s probably a woman.” Tapping the tip of his nose as he scowled, I smiled slyly. “You sure sounded like a lady when you screamed bloody murder when that rat ran across your foot yesterday.” I pinched the tip of his nose.

In all honesty, I had screamed too, and the rat hadn’t even gotten within ten feet of me. The point was that Mason had pulled a horror movie actress on us and screeched like he was auditioning for the role of the hot, horrible-decision-making, half-naked girl in a bad scary movie. Only he, Gordo, Carter and I had been outside when it happened. If Eli had been there, every person on Ghost Orchid’s Facebook page would have known about what happened. Eli had a knack for filming things that ended up going terribly. Like at Rafe’s college graduation, when a girl walked off the stage. Sure she could have hurt herself but she didn’t, so it was okay to laugh at the video about a dozen—or five dozen—times.

At least, that’s what I told myself.

Those blue eyes that I loved in a brotherly way glared at me. “That mutation was the size of a possum.”

“I’m pretty sure it might have been a mouse,” I corrected him.

“Potatoe, potato, shut the hell up, Flabby,” he huffed. “You would have done the same.”

Gordo leaned forward on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. “Bro, I’m surprised you didn’t start crying.”

Mason scowled before going on a rant about how much of a girl Gordo was because he got teary-eyed when we’d watched
The Blind Side
a few days ago.

I sat there listening to them go back and forth until Sacha came out of the bunk area a few minutes later. The man slept so much it bordered on being a coma. His face was soft, a little puffy and creased as he made his way through the kitchen, bumping knuckles with Mason and Gordo before he plopped down on my other side. “Morning, Jean-Claude,” he yawned, slouching as his legs fell open. One hairy knee relaxed against mine. The shorts he slept in were bunched up high on his thighs.

I tried not to think about the realization I’d come to the night before—the stupid one—but it was a lot harder to do than I expected. The only rationalization I could reach was: Who wouldn’t like Sacha? He was handsome, funny, kind and incredibly talented. Wouldn’t there be something wrong with me if I didn’t like him?

I could deal with a little crush. No big deal. I couldn’t browse the Internet without finding a picture of some attractive guy I would never meet.

And that was the story I was going to go with.

I mean, I could admire him from afar without it meaning anything, right?

“Good morning.” I smiled over at him as platonically as possible. Even with a bit of dried drool on the corner of his lips and part of his hair smashed against his scalp, he was a looker after waking up.

Then there were people like me in the morning. Once in my teens, I’d woken up to find the three spawns of Satan hanging out in the living room early in the morning playing video games. My brother had pulled one of our mom’s largest crucifixes off the wall and held it in the air at me while he hissed, “
I banish thee!
”

“Morning,” Sacha replied with a yawn. He blinked those sleepy crystal-clear gray eyes and long black lashes. “Are you going to the movies with us?” he asked.

“Morning, Mariah.” What movies was he talking about? I shook my head. “I didn’t know anyone was going to the movies.” Awkward.

He lifted a shoulder as he rubbed at an eye with a balled up fist. “I just told you. Come with us. After we grab a shower, Matt—” that was our bus driver’s name “—said he’d park at a mall with a movie theater.” When I didn’t immediately reply, he blew out a long breath of air directly into my face, making me wince. “I’ll even let you share whatever you buy with me.”

“I have a feeling that even if I don’t agree to share my stuff with you, you’d take it anyway.” I leaned back and asked in the nicest voice I could muster, “When was the last time you brushed your teeth?”

Sacha cupped a hand over his mouth, making it seem like he was blowing into his palm and breathing it in with a wince. “Your guess sounds about right, and I brushed them last night.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes playfully. “It’s time you brushed your teeth again, and you’re lucky that I don’t have a problem sharing as long as you wash your hands first.”

“I think it’s time
you
brushed your teeth again—“

I blew into my hand too. “My breath doesn’t smell,” I argued.

“And I’m very glad to know that you are willing to share.” I grinned at him, earning one back in return. “Just for you, I’ll brush my teeth now. Happy?”

I nodded. “Very.” I wanted to add that a hot guy with morning breath was a tragedy but I didn’t. Admitting out loud that I found him attractive would be terrible, embarrassing and pathetic in no particular order. Even though I had a feeling Sacha wouldn’t be one of those people who would make a friendship awkward after a declaration of that proportion, I wasn’t going to rely on it. Plus, with my luck and his goofy nature, he’d probably make fun of me for it. I sighed in my head and cast a glance at him. “What movie are we watching?”

H
ours later
, after we’d gotten off the bus to shower at yet another travel center, I’d convinced Eli via text message to braid my hair. I hadn’t felt like a real girl in what seemed like forever. Being around these guys who had witnessed me go through puberty, braces, the immediate effects of having my wisdom teeth removed, every bad haircut I’d ever had and came to visit me post-surgery when I was high as a kite, drove me to basically not give a single shit about my appearance.

The last time I’d worn make-up other than lipstick and eyeliner had been the first day of tour. I hadn’t even bothered putting concealer over my bruise. The last time I wore something other than shorts and sweats had been the same day; wearing shirts without stains on them was the extent of my vanity. Body odor was also a regular worry. I’d been more focused on being comfortable than trying to look cute despite my brother’s constant teasing about how I looked haggard. People that came by the merch booth seemed to be okay with me wearing a tank top, having non-stinky breath and a ready smile, so what was the point in trying harder? I’d been making more tips over the last few days than I had before, and I had a feeling it was because of the purple and red coloring along the lower bones of my face.

But each night, I faced girls who had taken time with their appearance, and it made me feel a little down day after day, though I knew there wasn’t a point in trying when there was a show. I’d look like a drowned clown by the time we had to get back on the bus regardless of how much or how little make-up I applied.

Laila had always told me that she felt better when she knew she looked nice. In my case, I’d take feeling like a normal, clean girl in a heartbeat. There was nothing that a shower, the dress I’d grabbed from my suitcase and a good braid couldn’t give me a kick-start to.

Eli snuck into the back room of the bus with me after agreeing to shower quickly so we could lock the door and get to business.

“You have a lot of split ends,” Eli claimed an entire minute after I’d sat on the floor in front of him cross-legged. His fingers parted my hair with no care or gentility, but I knew better than to complain about how rough he was being. It was the usual.

“I’m pretty sure I asked you to braid my hair, not for your expert opinion on whether I need a haircut or not, Vidal Sassoon,” I laughed, digging my elbow into the meaty part of his inner thigh.

The bastard yanked on my hair hard while snorting. “I hope you go bald.” His large hands brushed through my hair once more before parting it again the way he wanted, not that there was that much hair on one side of my head anyway.

I was not going to whine about the shaved section that made my bone structure look rounder. Nope.

Eli had learned how to braid my hair when we were nine because Mom had broken her hand and couldn’t do it for me. What had started as a simple braid down the back of my head had turned into a full-blown interest that led him to learn how to French-braid the hell out of my hair. He’d even nailed a fishtail at some point; when or how he did it, I wasn’t sure, and I sure as heck wasn’t going to ask either.

The fact was, he was better at it than our mom had ever been. His talent was also one of those things that we kept between the two of us and our parents. Gil and Rafe had never said anything about it so I wasn’t even sure they knew. I never gave Eli shit about braiding; it was something he’d learned how to do because he loved me—and I’d begged. I didn’t want to taint it with jokes and ruin a good thing.

“I still can’t believe you punched Brandon in the throat,” he snorted as some of his fingers grazed over the buzzed section above my ear.

I really was quite proud of myself, and I’m pretty sure I preened at Eli’s compliment. Then I remembered what Brandon had said and my good mood plummeted. That fucking prick. “Did you hear what he said?”

“Not all of it. I heard bits and pieces when you were yelling at him, but then you got this crazy-ass look on your face, and it got me wondering why the fuck you were smiling like that.” He didn’t even pretend to not be nosey. “What’d he say?”

I sighed and reclined against the seat more, the sides of my twin’s gigantic thighs pressing against my shoulders. “He pretty much admitted he started talking to that girl he’s dating before we split up, and that it’d been a hard decision and he didn’t want to hurt my feelings…”

“He cheated on you?” my brother asked slowly, and I couldn’t help but smile over the indignation in his tone.

“He said he didn’t while we were together, like that matters. Can you believe it? That’s why I punched him in the throat. I hadn’t even considered he’d been talking to someone else before we split up, E. I felt so stupid—“

His thigh nudged my shoulder. “You are pretty stupid, but he’s an idiot, Flabby. You can’t be that surprised about it. You wanna be with some guy for the rest of your life that crab walks across the stage and wears tighter pants than you? No. No, you fucking don’t.”

I started laughing. “Yeah, I know. Shut up.”

“I know it’s hard to try to find somebody that can live up to me…” he began to say.

“Your mother,” I snorted.

Eli chucked behind me. He messed with my hair for a few minutes before finally speaking up again, his voice lower than normal. “Look, my lease in New York is gonna run out in three months. I’m kinda tired of living there, and I was thinking about moving back to Dallas for a while after this tour ends. We could get a two-bedroom apartment or a house or something, if you want. I’ll even let you split rent with me.” He nudged me again. “Think about it.”

With the amount of crap we talked about each other, to each other, it was easy to underestimate our bond. We were a tag team. We had always been one, and I would bet my life we’d be in our seventies still picking on each other. Just as I opened my mouth to tell him I would definitely think about his offer, someone banged on the door.

“Hey! Can I come in?” Mason’s voice bellowed from the other side.

“No!” we both yelled simultaneously.

He didn’t immediately respond, like he couldn’t fathom why he couldn’t. “Why?” he finally asked, sounding confused and disturbed.

“Eli’s showing me how he puts a tampon in,” I snorted, earning another sharp tug of my hair from my brother.

There was silence on the other side of the door for a minute, allowing Eli to finish my braid. It had always seemed like a miracle to me how gentle those big paws could be when they wanted. I’d seen them beat the crap out of toms, cymbals and faces alike. Hours later, those hands could make the most intricate designs to my shoulder-length hair. No one could say Eli wasn’t a multi-dimensional son of a bitch.

“I don’t get it… why can’t I come in?” Mason’s voice finally mumbled through the door again.

I hopped up and threw my arms around my brother, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek while he frantically tried to pull away in disgust. “Thanks, loser. You’re going to make my future niece a wonderful mother one day,” I told him right before he licked his index fingertip and dipped it into my ear. I made a face and swatted his hand away, afterward getting up to unlock the door.

Mason slipped in, clean-shaven and wet-haired. His alert blue eyes shifted across the small room curiously. I sat down next to Eliza, gently touching the neat strands of hair tucked across my head.

When Mason’s eyes landed on me, he frowned and ran a hand through his hair, pushing the damp strands away from his forehead. “You look like a girl.”

“I am a girl.”

Those same cobalt blue eyes narrowed and then further narrowed as he glanced down the length of my outfit before he flicked his gaze over to Eli. “Are you letting her go out like that?”

“Since when does she listen to me?” he scoffed, throwing an arm over my shoulders. “There’s nothing wrong with my Flabby if you don’t look too closely at her face.”

I laughed. Sure his wording wasn’t exactly telling me that I looked nice, but for his standards, it was as good as I would ever get.