Rewriting the Rules (26 page)

“I love you,” he tells me, holding his side. Even though Will and Carter are in the room, it feels like it’s just us. “Say something, please.” I can’t. “I was going to give you the world. You have to know how much I love you and how long I’ve been waiting for you. It’s just you, Charlotte. I’ll give you space, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, because I do. With my whole heart.”

Sobs wrack my body and I want to get up and jump in his arms. I want to wipe the blood from his lips and kiss his bruises. I want to ice the side of his body and care for him. He didn’t deserve this.

Only, I can’t move. I’m frozen on top of my bed.

He looks at me again and walks out of my room, leaving me feeling alone and scared.

Chapter 35

Charlotte

I’m staying with Aubree for the time being. Things with Will aren’t good and it’s best that I stay away. I haven’t reached out to Troy and I’m not sure how he’s doing. I have no idea what to say to him.

“Are you going to meet him?” Aubree asks.

“Yeah, I think so.” I smile at baby Blaire and blow her kisses. She giggles and it’s honestly making things better.

Last night Aubree broke down and told me that Blaire is her baby and not her God-daughter. The father isn’t in the picture and she doesn’t know how to handle it. She told me he’s in town and they haven’t seen each other since the last time they slept together. She loves him, but knows he’s not ready to be a dad. My heart breaks for her and I want to do anything I can to help her.

“You and Blaire are so loving this morning.”

“She’s so cute,” I gush and give her more kisses. “I’m scared about today.” Last night before I went to bed, Shawn’s text came in asking to meet. We’re meeting today for lunch and I’m a little nervous to see him.

“Don’t worry. Now go and stop using my baby to shield yourself.”

“Fine.”

When I get to
Trata
I walk in to find Shawn sitting by the hostess stand. He smiles when he sees me and gets up.

“Hey. You made it.”

“I did.” He’s wearing a casual outfit-jeans and a white polo paired with gray sneakers.

The hostess leads us to a booth and hands us menus. I can’t look at it right now. I need to talk to Shawn and get this out of the way.

“Why did you send me the letter and box?” I blurt out. Great, this is exactly how I wanted to start the conversation.

“Honestly, I want you back and seeing you feels good. Tell me what’s going on, please.”

“I do love you, Shawn, just not in that way. We turned back into friends and as much as I respect you, I can’t be with you. I appreciate you trying and coming back here. I’d like to be friends and still have you in my life.”

“I don’t get it. You and Troy?”

“Yeah, I mean things are bad right now because Will just found out. I love him, Shawn, like to the moon and back kind of love.”

“I can love you like that. Will wants us together. We spent so many years together. This isn’t something I can let go. How can you do this?”

“Because I’m not selfish. I know you love me and I’m going to hold on to our memories. I’m letting you go so you can be happy and I can have a chance to be with the man I love.”

“I came all the way here to get you back.”

“I know, but it’s not going to work out. I don’t know what else to say to let you down easy. I’m sorry. So sorry.”

“I had to try one more time, Charlotte. All I want is for you to be happy. You deserve all the happiness in the world and if someone else can do that then I commend him. Things in life might seem unfair at times, but everything happens for a reason. We meet people, and our lives change. You changed me and I hope to make someone very happy one day.”

“And you deserve that too, Shawn. I want that for you.”

“Thank you. So, I know there’s more. Talk to me.”

I tell him about Troy and the past when we were younger. I tell him about how much I love him, and how badly I hurt the two most important men in my life.

“Here’s the thing. Love is never perfect. Sometimes people aren’t right for each other in the beginning, but then they are given a second chance and the timing is better.”

“Maybe. I guess. I don’t know. What am I supposed to do about my brother?”

“Talk to him,” he reaches out and holds my hand. “Tell him how you feel and how much you love Troy.”

“It’s not that easy,” I explain. “I couldn’t save him from Will. We haven’t talked in a few days. Things suck right now.”

“Because you have to face the storm and conquer it before you can enjoy the sun.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing in life is perfect. If you don’t face these obstacles now, you’ll get used to being perfect all the time,” he explains. “For every obstacle that comes your way, and for every obstacle you successfully conquer, you and Troy get stronger and can take on anything that comes your way. Remember when I used to want to talk to you?” I nod. “Communication is key to every successful relationship. Sure, sexual desire and the fire is important too, but that may die a little as life progresses. Communication and the need for that doesn’t change.”

I hear everything he’s saying and have to agree. We’ve conquered so much already and if I can’t get over this, then I don’t deserve him. I came to Rochester to reunite with my brother and get the man I love. Wallowing in my own self-pity and crying at night isn’t going to solve anything. If I don’t do something now, then I don’t deserve someone as amazing as Troy.

“Thank you for talking to me,” I tell Shawn. “I’m glad we can be friends.”

“Always here for you, love.”

Chapter 36

Troy

Sitting alone in the dark isn’t how I pictured my life at this moment. I’m not sure what time it is or what today is. Still wearing my sweatpants and tee-shirt, I fumble for my glass of whiskey and stare at the TV screen, holding my game controller, and not giving a fuck about anything or anyone.

The other night I helped Sal out at a nightclub promotional party for some
B-list
celebrity performing in downtown. We were security for the night and dealt with fucking assholes who couldn’t hold their liquor. Towards the end a fight broke out and some idiot thought punching me in the face would earn him points with whoever he was trying to impress. I smiled when he hit me and took him down to the ground. It felt good hitting him back and getting him down on the ground. Little fucker cried that I was holding onto his wrists too tight. I didn’t give a shit and went home to the bottle of whiskey.

I think about her and wonder what she’s doing. I miss her. I miss having her in my room, in my house, and in my life. I replay the scene in her room and how scared she was at seeing her brother attack me. I get his anger and I understand the lashing out part. I said what I needed to say and now I’m going to wait for her.

Touching my unshaven face and looking at the empty bottle of whiskey, I aimlessly play
Call of Duty
on my PS4. I scream at the TV and shoot the motherfuckers, earning points for my team. The creation of games is quite mesmerizing. I can sit here for hours on end, forget about the shit going on in my life, and release my anger out on strangers without actually using physical violence. It’s therapeutic.

Since the fight last week we haven’t talked and I have no idea what the fuck’s going on with her. As much as it’s killing me not to see her, touch her, be with her . . . I need to give her space.

I know Will is also respecting her wishes and giving her space because he knows they’re supposed to stick together, just like I’m supposed to be with Charlotte. But shit happens and now I’m sitting here in the living room, with an empty bottle of whiskey, my game, and memories of sweet, beautiful, Charlotte.

The doorbell rings and I’m up out of my seat to open the door. It’s Charlotte. She’s come back to me.

When I open the door, it’s definitely not who I want to see.

“What? Here to kill me. Go ahead.”

“Stop being a pussy,” Will says and pushes me inside. He closes the door and I’m ready to fight. I’ve learned a few moves from COD.

“She’s gone,” I glare at him. “It’s your fucking fault.”

“Mine? Please enlighten me.” Will paces my living room and sits down, fumbling with the controller in his hand.

“You could have anyone. Why her?”

“Because she makes everything better. She’s my person. I love her, man. We’ve been in love with each other since she was sixteen and I never acted on it. We made a promise to each other when she turned eighteen that I would wait for her.”

“But you fucked around with other chicks.”

“No,” I tell him. “I didn’t do that until after
you
pushed her to be with Shawn and she listened to you because hurting you was something she could never do. She chose
your
happiness over her own. She’s been miserable and
you
allowed that to happen.”

Will doesn’t say anything and stays still.

“I respected you and her, so I walked away. She was all I could see and all I wanted. We did this. We were miserable, so that you could be happy. How fucked up, huh?” Will nods. “And now I can’t be with her because your stubborn ass won’t accept that I’m good for her. I’m your best friend, man. You know me. You know I’d never let anything happen to her and that I wouldn’t hurt her.”

“I don’t know.”

“The fuck you don’t know,” I growl. “I treat Charlotte the way she deserves to be treated. I worship her. I cherish her. I fucking love her, but you’re too fucked up in the head to see that your own God damn sister is happy or that your fucking best friend is happy.”

“I saw the way you treated Andrea. I don’t want that for her,” Will screams back.

“Do
not
compare Andrea to Charlotte! Think about it, Will. You knew I used Andrea and didn’t want anything with her. With Charlotte I want the world. Every day when we were together I felt alive. I fucking felt happy.”

“Yeah, I got that. You’re my best friend, man. I turned to you and trusted you.”

“And you still can. I love her. I respected you when she was younger. She’s not someone I’ll throw out or treat badly,” I explain. He stares at the floor, his shoulders tense, and when his eyes meet mine, I can see the hurt.

“How the fuck is this happening? How long? I mean did you fucking touch her when she was younger because I swear I’ll kill you right here.”

“No. I didn’t touch her. When she left I lost a piece of myself. I missed her, but then I realized she wasn’t coming back to town. Until she did. She’s changed my life.”

He shakes his head. “Does she love you?”

“Yeah, man, she does. She’s loved me since we were younger too. We tried to stay away. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t. I don’t want to lose you or her. I want you to accept this.”

“She’s all I have left.”

“I know,” I say. “I know and I’ll respect her until the day I die.”

His fists clench and I’m fucking scared he’s going to kill me. I had to tell him everything and how I feel about her. His head raises and he looks at me.

“Do you believe me?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then can you not scare the shit out of me?” I laugh. “I mean, my body is pretty bruised right now.”

“Don’t push me, Harding. I will kick your ass again.”

We laugh and I sit down on the couch, turn on the game, and we sit in my living room playing COD like before.

“How is she?”

Will shrugs. “She moved out for a little bit and she’s staying with someone from work. She,” he clears his throat, “she’s upset. My baby sister only wants to be happy and I stood in the way. I told her how disappointed I am with her.”

“She’ll be okay. Give her time.”

“Yeah,” Will says. “Yeah. I miss her and I want her to know how sorry I am.”

“I know Charlotte. She wanted this to be kept a secret so you wouldn’t be hurt. She loves you, man.”

“I get it,” Will nods. “Just don’t hurt her, okay?”

“I won’t.”

Setting up what I need to, I pull out my phone and see Charlotte’s message letting me know she’s here.

Going inside I meet her by the front door and lead her upstairs so she can change into what I bought her.

“What’s going on?”

“Just change into what I have for you on the bed and then meet me in the kitchen.”

“Oh, okay,” she eyes me with suspicion, but doesn’t ask me anything more. Watching her go inside I hear her gasp and make my way downstairs to change into my black tux and get her corsage ready. Taking in one breath and letting it out I hear the door open and walk to the bottom of the stairs. The princess pink prom dress is fitted around her middle and flows out like a ball gown.

“Wow,” I whisper as I watch her walk down the stairs. Meeting me at the bottom I take her hand and raise it to my lips. “Hi.”

“Hi. What is all of this?”

“You’ll see.” Sliding the pink and white calla lily corsage on her wrist I hook her arm through mine and walk outside. Her eyes go wide as she looks around and sees our friends in their tuxes and gowns waiting for her.