Rewrite Redemption (16 page)

I held out my arms so the sleeves could fill with air. Queen of the world! It was as if the energy had followed me home. I felt incredible. Even Sam had seemed normal, almost happy. Seeing Sam smile, watching him laugh—heck, I’d dress better, no problem, if that’s what it took to make him whole. I mean, I couldn’t change overnight, but I could make an effort.

I leaned my head against Lex and we looked for the big dipper. All this time I’d been trying to pinpoint the energy source. Maybe it wasn’t
from
somewhere or something.

Maybe it just
was
.

At that moment, I didn’t need to know. I just wanted to be there with my family having a moment of happy. No matter what sucked in my life, no matter how crazy it was, I had the two of them to make me laugh, help with Sam, and to you know…give a damn.

What I really needed was to find a way to hold on to the house, so we could keep the family together. I knew that. But for then, I was content.

Making a
good
memory, for a change.

The good me and the screw-up me fought in my head nonstop for the first two miles of my run. Annoyed and agitated, I cranked my tunes and focused laser sharp on the lyrics. By the middle of mile three, I managed to shut down the internal chatter, but not from concentrating on the music. It was from knowing what a relief it would be, if I could tap a little energy from the tree in her front yard…or from the kid, if she was home, and she was broadcasting.

My left foot hit the edge of a pothole, and I had to catch myself to keep from stumbling. I couldn’t believe how weak I felt. The air was so much thinner in the Rockies. Seattle was at sea level so I could run five…six miles, full bore, and barely break a sweat. I could probably do twenty at a descent pace. Now, only a few miles into the run, I was winded. My lungs hurt and my head ached. I had this feeling of impending doom—like my cells were all freaking out. I needed tree juice.

I needed it bad.

I’d never gone more than a day without tapping energy from my tree. It had always been there, making me sharper, stronger…giving me an edge. I totally took it for granted, never having a clue how much I depended on it, never having a clue how life would be without it. I wished I’d listened when the Regents told me to be sure to get a house with a suitable tree. I wished I’d listened when they told me about withdrawal. I wished I’d listened to a lot of things.

I slowed as I neared her block. Approaching her house, I turned the music off and scanned the area. The street was empty. There was a faint light in the living room, and I could see the flicker of a TV in the front window. A dog barked in the distance but went silent as I walked onto her lawn. The flowering trees mingled with the fresh, Colorado air, and the scent was incredible. I crawled up under the maple.

And I
felt
her.

Chemicals released in my brain and flooded through my nervous system. My shoulders released and the vice on my skull dissolved. I was addicted to this kid before I’d even met her face to face. Her energy combined with that of the maple tree was pure bliss. I wanted to dig down into the dirt like a vampire and just hibernate there until life made sense again. But I wasn’t, and I couldn’t. So instead, I dropped down on the grass, using my bundled-up sweatshirt as a pillow.

There’d been a light mist earlier, but it was dry underneath the tree. The sky was crisp and clear, highlighting the full moon. The stars were brilliant—a “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” night. The little Shadow’s energy enhanced everything. Before long, I was totally high on it all. The grief I’d brought from home dissipated into nothingness. I lay there for about an hour, maybe two, just basking in relief.

Then a light went on in back, and I heard talking…laughter. It was followed by the wailing cry of a violin. The artist rocked, and the music streamed out into the otherwise silent night.

Of course I was curious.

Euphoria dampened down any caution the sober me might have had. Before I even realized what I was doing, I was up and lifting the latch on the backyard gate next door. The neighbor’s house was dark. Hugging the shadows, I crept along the outside of her fence. I found a spot where I could hide in the bushes and by standing on a rock, peer over the eight-foot fence.

I’d seen the tree house in the
Life Magazine
photo, but in real life it blew my mind. It was as if some giant just scooped up this cool, little cabin and plunked it high in the biggest oak I’d ever seen. A bridge connected the porch on the tree house to a second level deck on the main house. A soft, warm light cast a gentle glow on the porch and half way across the bridge.

That kid, Ipod, was standing on the bridge just wailing on the violin. God, he was good. Like a frickin virtuoso, he swayed back and forth into the light and out of it again, his arm moving, hair flying.

Then out bounced Lex in pink pajamas. She stared at the sky for a moment and yelled, “A.J., come see the stars.”

A jolt of excitement whipped up my spine. The focus of my life had become meeting this kid, and she’d blocked my every move. Of course, I couldn’t speak to her, reveal myself, stalker that I was—not then and there. But at least I could finally lay eyes on what I hoped was my salvation. What I hoped would help me put my life back together again.

“Hey A.J., what’s the hold up? I saw a shooting star,” Lex called.

I waited.

Then, I swear I
felt
her move—just move—a wave of heat deep down inside me. I knew the tree was heightening my senses, making them more powerful. It enhanced our synergy, and the strength of it drew me closer against the fence. The beating of her heart echoed through the wood…deep, strong, and sweetly disturbing. I’d never been this affected by any other Editor. Not even the Regents were this powerful.

I didn’t know what to think.

Within seconds, my own heart was following her rhythm, like she was controlling it. I stood there with my hand on my chest, listening, wondering, feeling. Then I sensed her turn around, felt it deep, like a ghost of her was inside me, running through my body. The sensation threw me off balance, and I had to step down off the rock to stabilize. I climbed back up immediately, grabbing the top of the fence to steady myself.

 It was electric—better than the night before—like someone turned up the volume on everything good.

Suddenly, my eyes were drawn to a shape in the shadows, a ghostly blur on the deck above. She floated onto the bridge. At first, she was a silhouette in the darkness—no colors, no details. But when she got to the middle of the bridge, the light hit her, and I froze. I was completely unprepared.

She was…she was…I didn’t even have a word for it.  

She looked like an angel in one of my mom’s Da Vinci art books…flawless skin and huge amber eyes. Her long hair blazed in the moonlight, silky, auburn ripples cascading softly over tiny shoulders. She twirled, her dress billowing around her like a cloud and her hair blowing in the breeze.

I just stood there…mesmerized. It was surreal, like in a dream.

Lex laughed and clapped, and the guy grinned and broke into a waltz. And when he did, the angel’s energy expanded exponentially and streamed out strong into the night. A wave of it flowed through me, and I almost groaned out loud with pleasure.

And the angel…the angel twirled for a moment in the moonlight. I held fast to the fence, my eyes never leaving her face. She smiled and kissed the guy on the cheek. He smiled back, never missing a beat. She hugged Lex and they stood looking up at the stars. She lifted a slender arm to point at the sky. And then she laughed, and I thought my chest would explode.

The wind picked up for a moment, blowing her gown against her, silhouetting her body in the moonlight. I sucked in my breath. This was no
kid
.

Time stopped.

At that moment, I
got
her. I totally got her.
Who
she was. Everything I’d read about her suddenly made sense. Hot girls usually flaunt it. They have more power than anyone does, and they use it too, to get what they want. The baggy clothes and the glasses were a disguise.

To experience the world as a Shadow without knowing anything about it and living a public life, that took unimaginable courage. To have gone all these years without anyone finding out, that took incredible fortitude. People thought she was a freak, but she was totally in control. She wasn’t depressed and screwed-up. She was laughing and smiling, and apparently her friends were devoted to her. This chick rocked.

I could have spent hours suspended in that moment, taking her in, just being near her. I had an iron grip on the fence, and I realized I’d stopped breathing. I sucked in a ragged breath and watched her every move.

“We should crash,” Lex said, finally, walking towards the tree house door. “Play something soft, Ipod.”

“It was the best night, ever,” the angel said. Her voice was soft and silky. She walked across the tiny porch and into the tree house, pausing in the doorway for one last glance at the sky. Then she smiled and…

The beauty of that smile took my breath away.

The kid picked up his violin and played a soft song. The combination of the music and the heartrending vision of the angel left me all kinds of confused. This was far more than just some pretty girl. I’d seen my share of pretty girls. This was something else entirely. Somehow, it engaged the Editor part of me. This girl had gotten into my head in a way I’d never felt before. All I knew was that I wanted to meet her, and not just so she could help me.

I wanted to know her.

I wanted to know everything about her.

A dog barked, and I scrambled back to the front yard, collapsing under the maple. I stuck the sweatshirt under my head and soaked up the remaining Prozac, pulling in every piece of it I could reach. I saw the loveliness of her face in my mind, and I soaked that up too.

What I’d seen changed everything.

I was too overwhelmed to analyze the ramifications of what I’d just witnessed. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to think about anything at all. I just wanted to feel. I lay there feeling, until the predawn glow warned the sun would soon be creeping over the horizon. Then I sprinted home and snuck into the house.

I was glad I stayed out all night. Obviously, no one missed me. I could paint myself purple and walk naked into the living room, and no one would notice. Maybe I could sleep all day Saturday. Maybe I could sleep the whole frickin weekend away. Maybe I could just lie in bed, think of her, and drown out the critic in my head. How many more hours did I have till fourth period, room 217?

How the heck was I going to make it through the weekend?

 “Wake up, guys. Sam made pancakes!” Ipod shook me.

I sat up quickly. “No way!” 

“Way! Believe it or not, ladies, Sam is in the kitchen cooking up a storm,” he grinned. “Pancakes. Blueberry. With sausage.”

“Yeah, right, Ipod. That’s not a nice thing to tease us with,” Lex grouched sleepily, pulling the covers over her head.

“I lie—I die,” he returned. He was fresh from the shower, and he shook his hair like a wet dog on Lex, covering her with drops of water.

She kicked out at him. “This better be good, Ipod, or I’ll have your head for breakfast.” She crawled out of her bunk, sticking her feet into her slipper boots.

I smiled. So Sam was having a good stretch. That really made my day. He had them every once in a while. I got up and kissed Ipod on the cheek. Then I pushed him out of the room so we could change.