Revolution (19 page)

             
"I know. Thank you for understanding that you can't be selfish with me." I laughed at his scowl. "You are being a very good Keeper right now."

             
"Yeah. And a horrib
l
e husband,
"
he whispered against my forehead.

             
I didn't say anything else. I tried to take my victory with grace.

             
"So we're going," Cain said and clapped once. "Awesome. Let's go a.s.a.p. because if I have to throwback one more meal of beans, I'm gonna go ape crap."

             
Calvin laughed and then stopped when no one joined him. Simon, the ever annoying Keepe
r lately, had to say something.
"Take this seriously, Cain."

             
"I'm dead serious, Simon." He held up two fingers. "Two things I'm always serious about. Missions and food."

             
"Cain," he said in exasperation.

             
"I got this," he rebutted harder. "Stop worrying so much." He looked at me. "It'll be best if we leave first thing in the morning."

             
I nodded. Lillian, who was behind him the whole time, grabbed his hand and looked at me. There was some silent message there that I didn't get, but I nodded anyway.
I would watch Cain's back like he watched mine.

             
That night when everyone was asleep, I lay awake and tried not to think about the morning. Merrick didn't understand when it came to this part of me. He thought I was trying to be stubborn, but it was more than that. I didn't want to go, I just felt like I needed to.

             
Sleep refused me, so I started singing really low. The lack of radio or piano was wearing on me. Gavin Degraw seemed upbeat, but melancholy enough to fit my mood. "
We got two tickets, but they're one way.
And I went with it so I can't say
, no. I lit a fuse I can't stop. I opened doors I can't lock. Still I never meant to be this close, and let it slip away. I keep stumbling until I finally missed the last train. She's ready, I'm not ready. I run every time."

             
"Who's that?" Merrick whispered. "His logic is sound."
             

             
I laughed. "You're such a goofball." I rubbed his scruff. "Everything will be ok."

             
"Mmhmm," he muttered. "It better be. Or this wo
rld will have to deal with me." He leaned over me in our small tented space. "Be careful. Be smart. Be quick. Don't recruit anyone. We have enough mouths to feed."

             
"I know. I promise, in and out quickly, just what we need and nothing else." He sighed and laid his head on my chest. His fingers caressed my ribs and I wiggled under him. "Lily is with Danny and Celeste tonight," I whispered and ran my hand through his hair. "I can be very quiet."

             
He kissed my chest through my shirt and looked up at me. "I just want to hold you. Is that all right?"

             
I nodded and continued to rub his head and shoulders as he laid his head back down. My poor Merrick was going to worry himself into an ulcer. I knew he would be like this until I came back.

             
So I vowed to come back soon and in one piece.

Duct Tape

Merrick

             
"You've got your food packed, right? And the credit cards? I'm not sure if they'll still work or not. You might have to try a few of them
for gas or whatever
-"

             
"We've got it," Sherry assured me and rubbed my chest. "We've got everything we need."

             
I did this half growl half groan thing. I knew I was stalling, but I just couldn't seem to stop. Cain and Lillian were trying to be discreet in their goodbye. She was wiping her eyes
even as he kissed her teary cheeks
and hugged her. I rubbed my face. I needed to stop being such a pansy.
             

             
I jerked Sherry to me and squeezed her with all I could muster without hurting her. She laughed happily. "This was all I wanted."

             
"I worry. That won't ever change," I defended.

             
"I wouldn't change one thing about you. If you didn't worry about me, I'd be worried about
that
." She smiled. One of those smiles that was solely to placate me and make me feel moths in my guts and googly eyed, as she called it. It was totally working.

             
I just kissed her. To feel her breath as she gasped into my mouth, to feel her warm fingers as they gripped my arms like she was hanging on for life, to feel the buzz she caused me, like
being drunk without the
hangover.
I kissed her good and long and dangerously.
             

             
When I finally released her, she had that glazy eyed look that made me want to drag her to our room…but we didn't have a room anymore. I sighed. Things were so different now. I kissed her forehead and said, "
Gah,
I love you
, baby
."
             

             
"I love you, Finch," she whispered, the slight hitch giving her away.

             
"I love you more."

             
"Unfathomable."

             
I smirked at her inability to let me win. I peeked up to see Cain waiting for Sherry, but trying not to watch us. I nodded to him and he sauntered over, putting a hand on my shoulder. "We'll be back before you know it."

             
I turned to give him my full attention. "I know you'll take care of her," I lowered my voice, "but I promise you I'll murder you in your sleep mafia style if-"

             
He laughed. "Dude! That was awesome! Say it again." Before I could say anything he continued, "I get it. You'll murder me dead." He chuckled again. "You
know
me. You and Sherry are family. I promise you I won't let anything happen to her."
             

             
"I am standing
right
here," Sherry said and smirked at us both.

             
"Where?" Cain joked and looked over her head. "Can't see a thing."

             
"Down here,
tu
rd."

             
"Tu
rd? I'm wounded. Is that even a real word? If I were writing a novel right now,
tu
rd
would be underlined in red,
"
he goaded and laughed as she slapped his arm.

             
"Tu
rd," she repeated and reached up to hug me. "Please don't worry so much. Make sure Lily brushes out her hair because if you don't it's a rat's nest."

             
"Ok." I touched her cheek. "Bye, baby."

             
"Bye."

             
One side of her mouth rose in a half smile. She let Cain lead her to the elevator, a beaten messenger bag over her shoulder. Not everyon
e was up yet, but there were
plenty of us awake to see them off. Lily was
n’t one of them. Sherry said it woul
d be too much to see Lily upset about her leaving so we let her sleep.

             
We'd been over and over the rules and things they needed to remember. They were well equipped to handle this, taking the Jeep and clean cloth
es so they did
n't look like rebels.

             
Simon pouted by the elevator doors, but I barely saw him.

             
The elevator doors closed and Sherry and I both leaned until the little sliver of each other through the crack was gone. I swiped my face with my palm and plopped myself onto one of the bean crates. Gah, this sucked.

             
"
Sherry is a smart girl," Jeff told me. He was attempting to un-knot a shoelace from his sneakers. "And Cain is perfect for this."

             
"I know that," I said a bit harshly. I was tired of everyone making out like I was overreacting.

             
I don't think you're overreacting. I'm just trying to offer you some comfort.

             
I'm afraid there's none to be had, brother. How's Marissa?

             
Good.
His smile was proud.
Really good, if you don't count morning sickness. Her belly is starting to stick out a little. It's…awesome knowing what's inside there.

             
Delivery isn't going to be fun.

             
I remember Katie.
He stopped what he was doing and looked at me.
I know it seems cruel to bring a baby into the world like this, but I still can't help but be happy about it. It makes sense to me; to bring life into the world when so much life is leaving it.

             
I nodded and smiled.
You're getting wise in your old age, papa bear.

             
I'll take that badge and wear it proudly.

             
I bet. Hey, uh…what are we going to do about Simon?