Revived (The Lucidites Book 3) (7 page)

Over and over I replay the events in the Necropolis.
I’m his slave.
Even now the words don’t entirely sound wrong in my head. Rationally speaking I know that being attracted to Chase is utterly ridiculous. Makes zero sense. Emotionally speaking, I’m more in love with him than I ever thought my heart had the capacity for.

My logical side forces me to practice the strategy George taught me. I focus on my heart, thinking of my emotions for Chase, recording them with great detail. Then I do the same, thinking about Joseph. Before, the differences were obvious, like comparing artificial light and sunlight. If I can trust my heart, I swear it’s just broken from disappointment. My love for Chase is an unwavering beam of sunshine, brighter than all the bulbs in all the world and inextinguishable.

The only saving grace is that my brain knows this is wrong, but that’s of little hope. There are those more resilient and fortified with greater motivations who have failed in the face of logic, been scorned by their heart’s desires. Great warriors have died for their passions, sacrificed their own well-being for lust and pleasure. How do I stand a chance of battling this? At resisting Chase?

If I could go for a long run right now I would. For a second I consider it, not caring if I rip back open the bullet wound Amber gave me. But Mae spent so much energy healing me, after everything she’s been through––losing Pearl––I can’t take her efforts for granted.
Just a few more days
, she promises, and I’ll be able to work out. Hitting a punching bag right now would definitely take some of the crazy out of my being. Instead I settle for Tao Te Ching. I’m not hoping for enlightenment, as much as answers. Ancient Chinese wisdom feels like the perfect place to look at the moment. If this doesn’t work I’ll try some pop psychology.

Maybe what happened in last night’s dream travel wasn’t real. Maybe I fell asleep before dreaming. Maybe Chase only visited me in my dreams, like before. Because it’s impossible that even if he has improved the emotional modifier he could entice me to act so seductively, thrusting myself into him—all but tearing his clothes off. Yes, that makes more sense. It’s the answer I’ve been looking for. Chase might make me love him, but he can’t make me act on those emotions, right? That’s still up to me.

Patrick’s familiar knock startles me. The sun hasn’t even risen over the ocean that separates the Institute and the real world. I get up from my safe place surrounded by bed sheets and march to the door on autopilot. I should just ignore the knock, pretend I don’t hear it. Sometimes my nature, ruled by customs, irks me. The door slides back revealing a droopy-eyed Patrick. “Only you would get a meeting request at this hour.”

Oh shit. It wasn’t a dream.

I gulp, taking the note from Patrick. “Thanks,” I say, unable to even feign our usual banter right now. He trots away sluggishly, no doubt off to return to his dream travels.

I unfold the note, my hands already shaking.

Roya,

Report to Room 222 immediately.

Trey

Well, I knew he was known for brevity, but you’d think his own daughter could earn a formal closing. Apparently, it’s too early for such formalities.

I consider curling up in my bed and ignoring the request. But I know whatever I have to face is better done using courage. I’m not going to hide like I’m humiliated of what’s forsaken me without my ability to control it. I won’t be shamed. Not this time.

♦

Trey hovers just beside the entrance when the door to room 222 slides into the recess. “Thank you for joining us so quickly, Roya,” he says, stepping back, revealing Aiden and Ren sitting slouched at the table.

Oh shit.

I’m going to need more than just courage to get through this. Aiden’s hair is matted to his head in what I believe is actually bedhead and not his usual crazy ’do. Ren’s wearing a crumpled button-up shirt and an indignant expression.

Trey takes a seat beside the two officials, gesturing that I should take the one opposite of them. “I’m sorry to call on you so early, but I also figured you
weren’t
sleeping,” Trey says, spreading his hands on the table.

Ren suppresses a grin that begs to be slapped. Aiden’s face is slack, devoid of emotion. All three of them have red, puffy eyes and look dangerously close to needing coffee.

“I’ve called this early meeting because Joseph has just informed me that a Chase situation is desperately in need of our concern,” Trey says, reporting facts like they aren’t the sordid, gross details of my personal life.

A moment of aching hush follows his words. I want to curl into the tiniest of balls and become a simple organism––one without the major systems. Something that relies on so little, which isn’t affected by emotions, specifically humiliation.

“Roya.” Trey says my name with a new harshness. “Did you just see Chase while dream traveling tonight?”

As if Chase was in front of me right now, I freeze.

“Roya?” he says again, this time his voice softer, pleading.

All I feel is Aiden’s eyes, quiet and speculative on me. He’s in Head Scientist mode. But I know he can’t wall off his heart in the name of his career. What’s about to come out is going to color everything.

“Ummmm…” I say, like contemplating a food choice. “Hmmmm…” I continue, as casually as I can muster.

“Roya,” Trey repeats, now cautiously. “We’re here at this early hour because I fear you’ve had an encounter which warrants our immediate attention. It’s important that we stay in front of Chase at all times, otherwise your safety will be compromised. With that being said, will you please answer my question? Did you have an interaction with Chase tonight?”

There’s no getting out of this. Either this is going to be the most humiliating moment of my entire life or I’m going to take control now. What falls out of my mouth sounds more like a response from an injured horse. “Well, yeah,” I say, stretching out the last word into multiple syllables.

“Will you please describe in detail what happened during this dream travel?” Trey says, his turquoise eyes heavy with stress.

“Nothing,” I say, my voice sounding dead.

“Oh, come on missy,” Ren sings in a hoarse voice. “We’ve heard rumor you snogged Chase tonight.”

I refuse to be made a fool. Trey thinks he can parade me in front of his Head Officials for my own good. He’s not protecting me right now; he’s downright torturing me. I’d rather die a thousand times from one of Allouette’s knives than give into this stupid interrogation.

“Is this true, Roya?” Trey asks.

“Guess what, Trey.” I say his name like it’s something repulsive. “Who I make out with isn’t your business. It’s not the business of anyone in this room.”

Aiden stiffens. Ren snorts with suppressed laughter. Trey leans forward, the knuckles of his clenched fist white. “If it involves you, it’s my business,” he says.

“Since when?” I seethe.

“Since always.”

“Fine.” I point at Ren and Aiden. “I don’t see why they need to be here.”

“They’re here to help,” Trey says flatly.

“I don’t need help,” I say. What I need is a freaking lobotomy of the heart. What am I supposed to do? Ren and Aiden can help me, but in this circumstance I can’t bring myself to ask for it or accept it.

“Roya, you’re in danger. The closer you let Chase in to you, the harder it will be for us to help you,” Trey says, his voice no longer harsh or riddled with anger. Fear coats his words now. “You can’t see it because you’ve been infected,” he says, like I’m diseased. “Chase is using you. You have to let us stop it.”

“Chase wants me,” I say, resting my hands on the table, leaning back, feigning nonchalance. I’m not sure who’s within me speaking right now, the embedded part or the resentful child Trey abandoned. “He’s not afraid to show it either.”

“Don’t make this about us,” Trey says, sweeping his hands through his silver hair.

Lucky for me, I have multiple angles I get to play here. “Who says I am?” I say, careful to keep my eyes off Aiden. “And if Chase wanted to hurt me, he would have. So far all he’s done is the exact opposite.”

“He’s deceiving you. He can’t be trusted,” Trey says, his voice climbing.

“By that rule,” I say, my tone even, “neither can you. Or anyone else in this room.”

For the first time Aiden’s eyes meet mine, a quiet protest in them. In that one look I know he’s begging me to back down, not drop these subtle hints about us. To make everything easier right now by being compliant.

“Aiden informs us that you’ve had dreams recently which were invaded by Chase. Is that right?” Trey says.

Whatever Aiden was begging for with his penetrating gaze has just been lost. My eyes, still locked on his, narrow. “That’s correct,” I answer like a robot.

“Roya, you really should have confided this in me,” Trey says, sounding exasperated.

“Really? Because there are about a dozen things I can say the same of you,
Dad
.” I spew the last word with an angry inflection.

“This is not about us. It’s about your safety.” Trey turns to Ren. “What do you make of Chase invading her dreams? Is there something we can do to stop him?”

Ren shrugs indifferently. “Honestly, I think she might be screwed, especially with that kind of attitude,” he says, scrunching up his nose. “If you’re not careful, Little Miss Hothead, you’re going to find yourself literally screwed.”

“Ren,” Trey says in a reprimanding tone.

“Oh, all right.” He waves his hand dismissively at Trey. Why the hell does my father even employ this redheaded jerk? What the hell kind of leverage does he have over him? “Obviously Chase is using the emotional modifier, coupled with dream invasion. A two-pronged approach that will be treacherously difficult to combat.”

“Thanks for the optimism,” I say.

“Isn’t there something we can do to stop him?” Trey says, his eyes fixed on Ren. “Something else besides Aiden creating a patch for Roya’s protective charm to guard against the modifier?”

“Tell you what, I’ll give it a go and see if I can find a strategy that might work,” Ren says.

“Thank you.” Trey turns his attention back on me. “Right now I need you to tell us exactly what Chase said and did tonight so we know how much progress he’s made with the emotional modifier, which I know is to blame for everything that’s occurred between you and him.”

I exaggerate a long yawn. “Glad to know you don’t believe I’d be willing to fall for a murderer. What a blessed relief.”

“Enough with the antics,” Trey says, obviously annoyed. “Tell us what happened.”

I have him exactly where I want him. And Aiden and Ren too, judging by their faces. “Well, Trey, I’m not going to give you a play-by-play. Some things have to remain private,” I say, flashing a look at Aiden. “Anyway, Chase said he wouldn’t hesitate to maim and kill the entire world, but that he’d never harm me.” I lean back in my chair, flick a rogue piece of hair off my shoulder. “Isn’t that funny? Because it sounds like I’m not the one who should be worried for my safety, but the rest of you should probably think about protecting yourselves.”

“This isn’t a game. This is serious,” Trey says, looking uncomfortable as he readjusts himself in his chair.

This is my cue to stretch out my arms and stare around casually. I’ve learned this technique from Ren and I can tell he’s appreciating it as he stares at me with a brooding look. I wink and slouch in my chair before turning to Trey. “Well, that’s pretty much all that happened. What do you think?”

“I think you’ve left out a great deal of detail,” Trey says.

I rock my head back and forth, shrug.

Taking a steadying breath, Trey revolves in Aiden’s direction. “Since Roya isn’t going to be forthcoming with information, based on the report we received from Joseph, how close do you think Chase is to perfecting the modifier?”

“I think he’s fairly close,” Aiden says, eyes fixed on the blank notepad in front of him. “But I’ll need more info first. Roya, I need you to answer a few questions and only you can,” he says, looking up at me, his voice so unlike the one I’m used to. “When you were around Chase, were you able to resist him?”

“At first,” I chirp.

“But then what happened?” Aiden asks.

“Do you mean at which point did my logic give way and I found myself inexplicably making out with him? Is that what you mean?”

Aiden presses his lips together. “I only meant, at what point did your logic recede,” he says, a firmness in his voice.

“Oh, well, it was about thirty seconds after he forced himself onto me,” I say, staring at my fingernails like the current conversation isn’t worth my full attention.

Aiden removes his glasses and wipes them off on his shirt. He may think this hides his disgust, but he’s wrong. I can more easily see the flames burning in his eyes with his glasses off. “Now that you’re not with Chase,” he says, “how do you specifically feel about him?”

Staring directly at Aiden, I taper my eyes but remain silent. A full ten seconds tick by.

“Do you feel like you love him?” the Head Scientist asks.

I tilt my head slightly, eyes still locked on Aiden’s.

“Roya, answer the question,” Trey commands.

“Why don’t you go ahead and deduce the answer from my silence,” I say, cracking my knuckles.

“For God’s sake, Roya, this isn’t a game. You could get hurt,” Trey says, a punishing tone in his voice.

“We’ve already established that Chase doesn’t want to hurt me,” I say, feigning innocence.

“What he wants from you isn’t going to hurt you in the beginning,” Trey says through clenched teeth. “But believe me when I say it will kill you emotionally in the end.”

“What?! You know why he’s after me?” I ask, my attention suddenly ripped from the act I’ve been playing. “You told me you’d inform me once you knew.”

Trey thrusts his fingers through his silver hair and doesn’t make eye contact with me. “Currently, I don’t think you need that information.”