Revelry (Taint #1) (8 page)

“Thanks, but I’d rather choke down stale co—”

“Babe, if you wanted to choke on my cock all you had to do was say so.”

“Get off me, you pig.” I shrug out of his grip and practically bump into Cooper in an attempt to get away. He steadies me with his hand on my lower back, and I freeze. It seems as if it’s been a lifetime since I felt a pair of warm hands on my back, and even though he’s using the lightest of touches I feel a thrill all the way through me to my lady parts, which are entirely too warm and yeah, a little wet, not gonna lie.

“You should come,” Cooper says and good god, do I want to. I want to ride that man as though he were my very own pony …

Oh, not that kind of coming
.

“Yeah, come with us, Red,” Levi says.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t, or won’t?” Coop asks. I fidget under his gaze and he grins as if he’s enjoying watching me squirm.

“Both.”

Levi slaps a hand to his chest, holding it over his heart and sings, “Why you gotta be so mean?”

“Because I don’t like you,” I sing-song back.

“Shit, Coop, Red can actually hold a tune. I’d watch out if I were you or she might swoop in and take your position as front woman of Taint.”

I’m expecting a sharp, witty response, but what I don’t expect when Cooper turns around is for him to spear me with a curious glance. “I’m starting to think the things we don’t know about Red could fill a fucking dictionary.”

“Come on, Red. Come play with us.” Levi smirks. God, what is it with these guys and their fucking smirking? “We’ll make it very worth your while.”

“I can’t.” I give them an uneasy smile and start heading for my car. Just then, Zed wraps his arms around my waist and I’m about to pull away when he scoops me up and over his shoulder. I scream, “Put me down. What are you doing? Zed!”

The boys just laugh. Zed smacks me on the arse and says, “Quit wriggling, Ginger, we’re blowing this taco stand whether you like it or not. Levi, grab her keys.”

“Do not touch my keys,” I command, but it seems like no one is interested in listening to me because Levi snatches them out of my hand and darts away before I can lash out with my fists, or my feet, for that matter.

“What the hell are you doing? Cooper, please talk some sense into them.”

“Actually I’m kind of admiring the view,” he mutters, just loud enough for me to hear, and I gasp because I realise that fresh breeze I’m feeling isn’t just because I’m way up high in the air on Zed’s shoulder—it’s because I’m upside down, my skirt is all tangled up around my waist, and my arse is hanging out for all the world to see. Or, in this case, for all the rock stars to see.

“Gamers only?” Levi says, and I die the death of a thousand maggots in the sun because he’s referring to the big block letters branded across my cotton-covered arse. “Oh, no, no, no. We can’t have that.”

“Put me down, Zed.” I slap at his back again.

“Dude, give me a Sharpie,” Levi says.

“Oh yeah, ’cause I always carry a fucking Sharpie in my pocket in case of a word emergency,” Cooper snaps.

There’s the sound of Velcro being torn apart and then Ash says, “Here.”

Zed chuckles. The sound reverberates through his big barrel chest and into my body, because I’m still flung over his shoulder. “Dude, you carry Sharpies in your man bag?”

“I get asked to sign a lot of tits. There’s nothing worse than running out of ink,” Ash replies. Levi sniggers, Cooper laughs, and I’m pretty sure he just high fived Ash because there’s a loud clap.

My mortification gets exponentially worse because someone—Levi, I suspect—is touching my arse. I wriggle.

“Stop it. Stop it,” I say, kicking my knees into Zed’s stomach, because that’s all I can do. Oh, and I can swat … as I find out by stretching my arms out behind me and swatting at whatever flesh I can find. Unfortunately, it’s mostly my flesh I wind up slapping.

“Stop wriggling, it’s almost in,” Levi says, and I freeze. Which I realise is exactly what he wanted. But by then it’s too late because the soft tip of the marker pushes against my panties in a large X and then he writes something above it. And because he’s not enough of a bastard, he smacks my arse. Hard.

“Ow!” I squeal and jerk on Zed’s shoulder, kneeing him solidly in the chest. I see the flash of a camera phone and I scream. “PUT ME DOWN!”

“Oh crap,” Ash says. “He just broke about seven different Sexual Harassment in the Workplace laws.”

“Then let’s hope she has a sense of humour,” Coop says, and I’m set down, not on the ground but in the passenger seat of Zed’s Jeep. He buckles me in, despite my protests.

Levi’s looking at his phone and he licks his lips “That’s one sweet arse, Red.”

“Fuck you,” I hiss, and I slap at Zed’s hands. “Why are you strapping me in here? I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”

“Red, you’re hurting our feelings,” Cooper says.

“You guys have feelings?”

“I like this one,” Levi says. “We shall keep her.”

He ruffles my hair as he leaps up and grabs onto the metal frame above our heads, catapulting himself into the Jeep behind my seat. I unbuckle my belt as the others file in but before they’ve even sat down in their seats, Zed turns the key in the ignition and we lurch forward. I quickly plug my seatbelt in again, because even though I don’t want to go anywhere with these maniacs, I also don’t want to die young by falling out of a moving Jeep at breakneck speed.

“Please, stop the car.”

“Chill out, Ginger,” Zed turns his face to me, and winks. “I’m not gonna crash.”

“I have to get back to my cat. She’s in the car. What if she has a stroke and pees all over my upholstery?”

Levi leans forward and I try to ignore the tightening of my traitorous vagina as he whispers in my ear, “Your pussy’s just going to have to wait.”

“Relax, Ali, we’re just going to a bar,” Ash says. I think he’s taking pity on me, and I don’t know the slightest thing about him, or any of them for that matter, but I’m kind of glad there’s at least one other seemingly sane person along for the ride.

A few minutes later, we reach an old dive, and Zed pulls into the lot. We all file out of the car, and after that crazy ride, I swear to god it takes a minute or two for my stomach to settle before I can follow them inside.

The bar is just as sleazy from the inside as it was from the out, but there’s something oddly homey about it too.
Yeah, Grams would be thrilled to hear you say that
. Several pairs of eyes turn towards us, all gruff men, their expressions hard and their faces swallowed by thick bushy beards. The bartender, a rotund dude that looks almost exactly like his patrons, pulls a baseball bat out from underneath the bar and slowly whacks it against his open palm.

“Um, guys,” I squeak. “Maybe we should leave?”

“Little girl’s got a point. Maybe you boys took a wrong turn down Fuckwit Lane and landed your sorry arses here in my pub,” the bartender says, but then his face practically splits in half, the baseball bat swings, and he makes a “bring it in” movement with his gigantic arms. “Jesus, boys, long time no see. Where the hell you been?”

I’m ushered over with the rest of the boys and oddly, I’m swept up in a huge hug by this strange, sweaty man. “Hello sweetheart, who are you?”

“Barry, this is Ali,” Zed says, clasping my shoulder. I don’t think he realises just how strong he is, because … ouch.

“Red here is our new PA.”

“Shit, did you tell her what happened to the last one?” Barry says.

“What happened to the last one?” I dart my gaze nervously between them. “You guys had another PA?”

“What are ya, drinkin’ love?”

“Just water, thank you.”

“Gah!” Zed says, making a disgusted face and snatches his hands off my shoulder as though I’m contagious.

“Jesus Christ,” Cooper says.

“Fuck me, they gave us a fucking saint,” Levi murmurs, and even Ash turns up his nose.

I follow the guys over to a booth in the corner and Levi indicates that I should sit first. I slide along the wooden bench and settle in against a wall with deep-knotted pine panelling and red wallpaper that had seen better days. Levi slides in beside me, followed by Ash. Cooper and Zed sit opposite. Barry brings over two pitchers of beer, and five glasses. He miraculously forgot my water.

“I’m not a saint,” I say. “I just think it’s probably wise that one of us stays sober long enough to drive, because I am not getting back in that Jeep with Zed behind the wheel.”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with my driving.” Zed takes one of the jugs of beer and pours the drinks, sliding one over to me.

The boys all laugh. Cooper gives him a dubious look and says, “Oh yes there is. There’s a lot fucking wrong with your driving.”

“Remember that time he crashed the tour bus?” Levi chuckles.

“You crashed a tour bus?” I ask Zed, who merely shrugs.

“Funny shit. So we’re driving around Australia in this beat-up old mini bus and Zed’s girlfriend at the time ... what was her name, Rene?” Levi looks to Zed for clarification.

“Rachel.”

“Rachel,” Levi continues. “So everyone’s asleep, right? But this jackarse is behind the wheel. He decides that in order to stay awake, he’s gonna need some extra stimulation. So he wakes Rachel, and he’s like ‘Baby, I need you to suck my cock.’ I don’t know why the hell she didn’t just tell you to fuck off, but she gets up—and it’s not like a regular tour bus. This is budget all the fucking way. We’d just blown all our savings on cutting a demo and Coop hustled his parents for a loan big enough so that we could drive to Melbourne and back in order to get our demo in the hands of some fucktard who tried to screw us over with some bullshit fucking 360 deal.”

“Where they take all your money for ticket sales and merchandising, right?” I say, and Levi looks impressed.

“Right, so anyway, we’re hitting up whatever pubs will have us along the way, and we’re driving to the middle of fucking nowhere in this huge motherfucking zigzag because this idiot wants to drive through the night and make it there quicker. He’s been popping pseudoephedrine all night, and it’s no longer working, so he needs Rachel. She gets down on her knees and starts sucking his cock, and Zed falls asleep anyway. He hits a roo, the van goes arse overhead, Rachel nearly bites his dick off and blood is gushing everywhere. Coop’s got a fucking broken arm and because this cockhead wasn’t paying attention to the road he’d turned off the highway, and we’re about two hours from anywhere in the middle of the fucking desert.”

“So what happened?”

“Nothing. Our instruments were fucked. We didn’t have the room in the van for hard cases, so everything was smashed up to smithereens. We left the van and walked until we found a town with a working telephone, had a tow truck come pick up what was left of the bus, Coop got his arm patched up by a local doctor, and we spent all the money we’d borrowed and the cash we’d made on towing that piece-of-shit van. We missed our window with Alexer, which now that I think about it was a really fucking good thing, and we were right back to square one.”

“Wow, remind me never to go on tour with you guys,” I say. Their laughter stops and there’s this awkward silence as the boys all stare at me.

“You’re kidding, right?” Cooper says, he watches me from across the booth, and he has that ever-loving smirk on his face.

“Er … no. Sorry, I’m sure most women would give their freshly-waxed cooters to be on a tour bus with Taint, but I’m not one of them. It sounds like hell to me.”

“Prepare for the fiery inferno then.” Coop levels me with a penetrating gaze that I’m sure runs deeper than just annoyance. He actually looks offended. A ripple of unease stirs through me.

“What?” I ask in confusion.

“Ohhh, she doesn’t know?” Ash says to Coop, and then he stares down into his beer, attempting to hide his laughter and failing miserably.

“Oh, Red, you know your naivety just makes me wanna fuck you more.” Levi slides his arm around my shoulder and I edge away, but I’m pressed firmly between his warm body and the wall.

“Please don’t touch me.”

“My hands were on your arse an hour ago, Red. I’m sure you can handle a little shoulder action.”

“Tell me, Quinn,” I say. “Do you enjoy having a woman’s elbow thrust into your groin at high speed?”

“I love a woman unafraid to take charge in the bedroom.”

“You also love a woman who doesn’t mind being gagged while you fuck her, Levi. I’m not sure this is the girl for you.” Cooper says. “Something tells me Ali-Cat here doesn’t like being told what to do.”

“Something would tell you right, Ryan. Nice powers of deduction there,” I add scathingly.

“Someone should tell Ali she’s going to have to get used to being told what to do, because as our PA she’s expected to travel everywhere with us. Including on tour busses.” Levi waggles his brows at me.

“Come again?”

“That’s what she said,” Ash replies, and he may be the shy, silent type, but his smirk is just as deadly as the rest of these boys’. As though he’s afraid of drawing attention to himself, he smiles sheepishly and pulls his knit cap farther down his forehead.