Revelry (Taint #1) (42 page)

“What is it?” I ask.

“Nothing. Where’s Levi?”

“Getting coffee.”

“Ali,” I say softly, placing my free hand over our joined ones. “Do you remember anything about what happened?”

“I was sick, and Leif gave me a glass of water. I don’t know what happened after that.” She takes a deep shuddering breath. “There was another man … I thought Levi was there, but he wasn’t. Was he?”

“No. He was on stage.”

Her resolve cracks, and then her expression crumples, tears track down her cheeks and slide off her jaw. “What did they do, Coop?”

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” I whisper, and she flinches.

“What did they do?” she bites out.

“We came off stage, and exited out the back door when Deb said you hadn’t been backstage the whole show. I had this weird feeling in my gut; I can’t explain it. None of us felt like partying, but there was a crowd at the back door.” I rake my free hand through my hair, staring down at the bed. “I caught that Gainy fucker lurking alongside the groupies. He was snapping pictures of us as we signed autographs. Security knows not to let him near us, and by the time we got through the crowd he was gone. And then we found Leif, bailed up by James. And you were lying naked on the couch, tanked up to the eyeballs, your eyes rolling back in your head.”

She sobs, her hand squeezing tightly in mine. “They didn’t—”

“No, the doctors checked you over, you weren’t … assaulted.”
But she had been
. Not in the physical sense, but this lifestyle had raped her. It had chewed her up, used her and spat her out. All for the sake of a fucking magazine article. So people could buy a copy and read all of the bullshit within its pages and somehow feel as if they were closer to me. As if they knew me, or her, or they felt they were worthy to judge her.

“Leif promised Gainy an exclusive,” I say, my voice breaking, my whole body shaking with rage. “He got you high, and he let Gainy take your picture. He already sold it to the tabloids.”

A strangled sob leaves her mouth and she clamps her free hand over her lips to stifle it.

“I’m gonna fix this,” I say, begging her with my eyes to believe me. “I’m going to make it so that it never happened.”

“How, Coop? How can you possibly fix this?” Fat tears spill down her cheeks, she pulls her hand from mine and covers her face.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry.” I reach for her hand, but she yanks it away.

“Don’t. Touch. Me. He told me what you did.”

“Who?” I frown. “What are you talking about?”

The door opens, and Levi enters the room carrying two cardboard cups of terrible vending machine coffee. I know it’s terrible because we’ve been drinking the shit all night. His face lights up when he sees her sitting up in bed. “You’re awake.”

His gaze darts back and forth between us. He hands me the cup. “You told her already?”

Ali glares at him. “Did you know?”

“Did I know what? That they were going to drug you and take your fucking picture? No, I didn’t know. I would have beat the shit outta him even more for entertaining the idea.”

Ali’s gaze drops to his busted up hands, and she shakes her head.

“Did you know he was paying me?” she whispers, and even though she’s asking him the question, her cold gaze is directed at me.

Fuck
. My heart squeezes painfully in my chest because she knows from Levi’s expression that it’s true. And more to the point, she understands it’s something I didn’t want her to know about. I can see it in the venom in her gaze. “Ali.”

“Ah shit, Red—”

“Was it real? Was any of it real, or was I just a puppet in your little game?” she asks, her voice breaking with that last word.

“What are you talking about?” Levi asks.

At the same time I say, “Of course it’s real. Just let me explain. It’s not what you think it is.”

“Was everyone in on it?” She glares at me, tears pouring down her face in a torrent. “Was I the only idiot who didn’t know?”

“No one was in on anything, babe,” Levi says

“Levi, can you give us a minute?” My nostrils flare, and I growl through my teeth.

He turns his anger on me. “No fucking way. I’ve spent years lying down and rolling over for you, Ryan. I’m not doing that any fucking longer.”

“Both of you get out,” Ali whispers.

“Ali,” Levi says.

“Please? I’m tired. I just want some time to think,” she says. I try sliding my hand into hers, but she flinches and pulls it away. “Can you give me that? Some time?”

“Yeah,” I say, kissing her on the head. She flinches, but doesn’t pull away.

“I’ll be out in the waiting room,” I say.

“We’ll both be in the waiting room,” Levi clarifies, glowering at me, as if he’s trying to prove a fucking point.

Levi is the first to leave, and I try to ignore the sound of the sob that breaks free from Ali as I stand in the doorway, my back to her. She asked for time to think—I’ll give it to her gladly, but I’ll be a dead man before I let her walk away from me.

L
eaving the hospital later that day was a nightmare. We were taken through a back entrance in order to dodge the legions of fans and reporters, but where there are world famous rock stars, there’s someone willing enough to make a buck, and then there are reporters. We’re practically accosted as the doors swing back on the staff entrance and we file out into the blinding late afternoon sunlight.

“Fuck,” Coop grunts.

“Fucking vultures,” Levi murmurs. The boys wedge me between them, shielding my body on the way to the car, but they can’t shield me from the vile words of the press. My name is called, and I’m asked repeatedly whether I have any comment on the naked pictures splashed across the tabloids, and then one reporter, a woman, squeezes through the throng. She shoves her microphone in my face and asks, “Ali, how did you feel when the pictures went viral? Are they what led to your overdose?”

I stop breathing
.

I see the woman, and the boys’ questioning faces when they realise I’ve stopped. I see it all, as if the world is in slow motion and only I am moving, and then everything speeds up, and my fury is so consuming. I lunge at her. Cameras flash, and the reporter screams as she darts out of my reach. Grant, Taint’s new head of security, pulls me away before I can connect with her face. Cooper stares at me with wide eyes and grabs my arm, wrenching me along behind him and into the waiting car.

Cameras continue to flash, snapping up whatever they can through the tinted windows. Reporters and paps shout questions at the three of us. It’s a circus. Lenses are pushed up against the glass, the sounds of a hundred shutters fills my head, and I want to scream, because it takes me right back to that bus. On the inside, I am screaming. Outwardly, though? I remain in my seat, wedged between the boys, determined not to give the press any more blood for the feeding frenzy. My head hurts from the drugs, my body aches all over, and my heart hurts so bad it’s as though it just exploded, and I’m scrounging in amongst the debris, gathering pieces of it that I know couldn’t possibly fit back together, but I’m trying all the same.

Grant climbs into the front seat beside a driver I don’t know, and slowly, inch-by-inch, we move through the throng of reporters and drive away.

“Well, that went about as well as we could expect,” Levi says. I don’t reply, and neither does Coop. The three of us ride back to the bus in silence.

When we pull up alongside the bus, the guys get out and I sit in the car for a moment while I try to process everything that’s happened during the last twenty-four hours. I’m suddenly so tired and sad, and I just want to go home.

I feel the weight of so many sets of eyes on me, all of the band and road crew wondering why I’m just sitting here as Cooper holds the door open, but I can’t meet their faces. I lower my gaze and head for the bus, when out of nowhere I’m engulfed in Zed.

“I’m so sorry, Ali. I’m sorry,” he chants in my ear, squeezing me so tightly I can’t breathe. His big barrel chest tremors against mine. “I’m sorry.”

I don’t want to be touched right now. I definitely don’t want to have all the breath squeezed from my lungs because I already feel as if I’m swimming underwater and I can’t find a way to break the surface. I can’t come up for air, but I find myself hugging the giant freak back as tears drip from my lashes. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s really fucking not,” Zed whispers, and holds me a little tighter before releasing me.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Deb says, and I turn around to face her. I’m a little surprised, actually. “I mean, what he did sucks. I’m going to string him up by his balls when I see him next. But I’m glad you’re back.” She frowns, looking down at her designer heels and then back up to my face. “Because you know … being the only female on a bus full of these idiots sucks.”

“Yeah,” I agree half-heartedly and hurry towards the bus, because James is looking impatient, and if I know him he’s keen to get back on the road as quickly as possible.

Ash gives me a sad smile as I walk past, and then he follows me up the stairs. Everyone boards, and the mood is so damn sombre, it’s as if we all fell into a My Chemical Romance video.

“Everybody on?” James asks.

“Yeah, we’re all here,” Coop says back from the kitchen.

The engine roars to life beneath our feet, and it’s as if everything goes silent, save for the ringing in my ears. I stare at the bench seat, where Leif had drugged me, and then the world snaps back into place and I shout, “Wait.”