Returning Injury (22 page)

“Oh, now you’re going to cry! Fuckin’ baby! Waa. Waa.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“You put me in prison!”

“You put yourself in prison! It’s illegal to stalk and beat up people.”

“I didn’t beat you up!”

“I had to go to the hospital. I have permanent hearing damage. Yes, you beat me up.”

“I did not. I hardly even touched you!”

She knew all abusers minimize the abuse they inflict on others. “I didn’t press charges, the state did. Why don’t you go harass the state?”

Roy lifted his hand to hit her again but didn’t.

Rebecca was thankful. “You served your time; why don’t you just go and get on with your life?”

“What life? I’m a felon because of you,” he said, pretending he was going to hit her again.

Rebecca flinched.

He raised his hand once more to scare her.

She flinched again.

“Maybe I should find a career in dishwashing.”

“Or your music, or you can get on some medication and start helping others…”

“Shut up! Fuck!” He covered his ears like a five year old who didn’t want to listen.

Rebecca had quit crying and she felt her strength coming back to her: Cecilia, Rachel, Vicki, Angie and Leslie were all back with her.

What were her options? Her cell phone was upstairs. Her car was in the garage. Those glass pieces were behind her to her left. If she lived in town, she could just take off out the front door and run to the street or a neighbors. But here she had no place to run.

There were knives in the kitchen, but she didn’t trust herself to keep them away from Roy. She didn’t want to give him any ideas. As far as she could tell he had no weapons: just his own strength and his hands. That was one thing she had going for her. And he hadn’t tied her up. But he did have a small black backpack he was carrying with him.

“How’d you meet this Jack guy?”

Rebecca ignored his question.

Roy kneeled down by Rebecca and lifted her shirt to see her breasts. He grabbed the string on her pajamas bottoms and pulled the string loose. He stood back up and began pacing in front of her.

“I know the reason you didn’t press charges or testify or whatever you didn’t do, was because you were with Jack. If you hadn’t been with Jack you would have tried to put me away for longer. I
probably would have gotten more time. The best witness didn’t show, or should I say the person who wanted to see me suffer the most, revenge or something. You didn’t show up. My lawyer told me that in the beginning you were there in court. I guess I should be glad you’re with Jack. But I’m not. You should have waited for me.”

Rebecca knew better than to argue with his delusions.

“You know while I was on the run, I broke into my uncle’s place and stole a pistol? I got desperate. I was broke, hungry and nobody would help me out. I held up two convenience stores. That’s how they caught up with me. I wasn’t going to shoot anybody; I just needed some money. They were so stupid… crying, scared pussy. They had a fuckin’ camera.” He slapped Rebecca across the face.

She kept her eyes closed until the stinging softened.

“It’s your fault… see what you did to me, what you turned me into?”

She wondered when Jack would call if the phone would ring busy or continue ringing like nobody was home. When would he call the police? How long would it take? Or would Jack do anything at all? If he tried to call her cell, would she be able to run upstairs and answer his call and tell him to call the police? She doubted she could get to her phone in time.

Rebecca glanced at the clock; it was almost three thirty. She couldn’t depend on Jack—she had to depend on herself, and she had one chance. She would not risk something she wasn’t sure about, like hitting the panic button on the alarm system that probably didn’t work or trying to run upstairs to get her cell. If she tried something and failed, he’d tie her up or worse.

“You know, I think I want you to take your clothes off.”

“No.”

“Yes, I think I do. You fucked with me so much during our relationship.”

“Jack’s on his way home.”

“Yes, but not until tonight. We have time. Don’t worry.”

“He’s coming home early, this morning. He told me last night when he called,” Rebecca lied. “Just tell me what you want. Do you want me to tell you I’m sorry?” she asked. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m sorry you had to go to jail…”

“It wasn’t jail! It was prison!”

“I’m sorry you had to go to prison! But what about me? Are you sorry? Are you sorry for what you put me through?”

Roy mule kicked at Rebecca and caught her in the upper chest. She heard a pop sound. He knocked the wind out of her. She fell back and onto her side, her eyes closed in pain. She couldn’t breathe.

Surprisingly, Roy knelt down by the couch to check on her. While gasping for air, she refused to open her eyes. She was sure something broke on her left side, maybe her clavicle. Rebecca was in excruciating pain. She knew she would not speak another word to Roy.

Rebecca felt defeated and weak. She didn’t know how she would be able to defend herself or fight back. She started believing that Roy had won. He had won a long time ago because she would be afraid for the rest of her life.

She started to cry again. She had had every opportunity to get a bodyguard or do some further checking. She could have called Roy’s parole officer and called Victim Services again. Why did she stay in
denial? Why did she think she could handle it by herself? She could have reminded Jack that Roy had been released. She should have called the sheriff’s department. Who cared if she sounded crazy? Why did she convince herself that he wouldn’t come after her? Why wasn’t she smarter?

Rebecca was sure it was her collarbone that was broken. She didn’t know how she would be able to use her arm without agony. It was the same shoulder Roy had been torturing. She tried to appreciate that she still had one good arm left.

Rebecca was finally starting to breathe normally when she heard Roy say that he was sorry.

“Rebecca? Rebecca?” He gently shook her.

Rebecca kept her eyes closed and didn’t respond.

“I know you can hear me… I… I love you.”

Rebecca ignored Roy and wondered why she hadn’t told Jack everything: the Polo, the footprint downstairs, seeing somebody on their property. She knew why. She wanted to take care of it herself. She wanted to win. She was tired of feeling that Roy had won in beating her down, making her crazy. She was stronger than that. She didn’t want to depend on Jack’s money or a man to keep her safe. She wanted to keep herself safe. Rebecca feared if she revealed her true worries and concerns, Jack might start thinking of her as frail and not the strong woman he married.

Rebecca had already been living in her own prison because of what Roy had done to her and the possibility of him stalking her again. But if she told Jack about being afraid of Roy, she feared he would also put her in a prison of wanting to protect her. Her home
would become a prison and a bodyguard would feel like a prison guard.

Rebecca tried to move her right arm slightly to see how much pain it would cause. Miraculously, she was able to move her arm. Okay, she thought, this is good. She’d lie there a little longer.

She was afraid to talk, afraid to cry, and especially afraid to protect herself or fight for herself. She thought about the first time he attacked her. The only reason she got through it was because he made a mistake, he turned his back on her so she could run out of the apartment. It was really nothing that she did; he made the mistake. And maybe he’d make another mistake.

She couldn’t talk her way out of it, she couldn’t overpower him, especially in her condition, and she couldn’t run to a neighbor’s. Her best strategy was to wait.

Rebecca thought about every woman in her situation. The one thing that they all had in common was that the perpetrators where doing these things behind closed doors, never in public. These guys were all the same; they were all weak and cowardly.

Rebecca could feel Roy staring at her. She tried to stay as still as she could. His concern made her sick. She was surprised he didn’t try to rape her again. She knew she was alive and that was all that mattered to her. Rebecca had no plans of moving until she had to.

Lily started barking as if somebody had pulled up onto the driveway. Then her cell phone started ringing upstairs. Roy panicked.

Rebecca opened her eyes and saw Roy jump up to peek through the closed blinds at the wall of windows. Rebecca jumped to her feet, grabbed the glass sculpture from the bookcase by the stairs and ran as fast as she could toward Roy. He turned toward her just as she slammed the glass wolf into his head with both arms. She caught him at the side of his head, not the back of his head where she had planned, but it seemed to be enough.

It happened so fast. The chunk of glass did not break, but as it fell to the floor blood splattered onto the beige carpet. She looked at Roy who was looking back at her, stunned. Only a small amount of blood trickled from the gash on his head. Then his eyes rolled back, and he fell to the floor stiff as a board onto his stomach. Once he hit the floor, blood gushed out of his cut, and he started bleeding profusely.

Rebecca’s adrenaline kicked in. Holding her arm as if it were in a sling, she ran toward the front door, opened the closet and grabbed
Lily’s leash and a twenty-five foot leash that Jack had used to help train Lily.

She rushed back to Roy and started to tie him up using her knee, her mouth and her good arm, trying not to use her bad arm. She didn’t want to take any chances of him waking up before the police came. She started with his hands behind his back. She wrapped the leash around his hands, then in between and back around him. She went around his waist, figure-eighting the leash. When she felt his hands were secure, she took the remainder of the leash and started tying his feet together at the ankle. She looped the end of Lily’s lead through the handle of the shorter leash securely attaching the two together. She continued tying his feet.

When she was finished, she went to the kitchen and got a knife. She went back to Roy and stood over him. She didn’t know if he was alive. She saw no movement, not even him breathing. She started to cry. She sat down on the floor holding the knife, rocking forward and back. She cried because she was afraid. She cried because she felt that maybe she had won the battle. She cried because she had to go through this in the first place, twice.

Who does she blame, Roy or the state or herself? The state didn’t counsel him, the state let him out when they knew he was making threats to kill her. Nobody called her to warn her that he was missing, no longer checking in with his parole officer. Jack wouldn’t have left town or he would have gotten her a bodyguard. Nobody contacted her or seemed to care about her, her life or her safety.

Roy came so close to raping her. Even though he didn’t stick his dick in her, she still felt something deep inside that hurt badly
because of what had happened. Maybe just knowing how easy it would have been for him to rape her, Rebecca became enraged.

She stood up and kicked him lifting her toes to use the ball of her foot into his side. She heard him make a slight grunt. That scared her. She double checked the security of the leashes and went upstairs to her cell phone. She sat in the closet and dialed Jack’s phone.

Rebecca couldn’t hold her cell phone up with her right arm. She couldn’t hold the phone to the left side of her face.

“Hi, honey. I hope I didn’t wake you,” he said in his cheery voice. “I know it’s early, but I couldn’t sleep. I had strange feelings; I wanted to check on you.”

Rebecca listened to him talk, but she didn’t understand what he was saying.

“Reb, I tried the home phone, but it just kept ringing. That’s why I called your cell. Are you at home? … Are you okay?”

“Jack?”

“Yes, it’s Jack.”

Rebecca started to cry.

“Rebecca!”

“Roy is here… I hit him and I think he’s going to die.”

“Roy who… Oh, my God! Reb, are you okay? Oh, my God! I’ll call the police!”

“No don’t! I don’t… I don’t want anybody here right now!”

She heard Jack crying.

“I think I’m going to kill him or wait for him to die before I call the police.”

“Reb, what happened? What did he do to you!”

Jack’s high pitched cry made Rebecca cry harder.

“Reb!” he sobbed… “What did he do to you? … What did he do to you?”

Rebecca just kept crying into the phone. She said nothing.

Jack kept crying. “Oh, God, Rebecca. I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry… I’ll be right there. I’ll get a plane… I’ll be right there.” He hung up.

She knew he would call the police.

She kept crying into the phone even though Jack was no longer there. She wanted Roy to die. She didn’t want to go through this a third time. She could go and kill him right now before the police came.

She knew that once the police were there, they would start doing CPR on Roy. They would do whatever they could to try to save his life. She knew that he would look like the victim. She figured that the male police officers would be taken aback. They wouldn’t want to see a man as a victim; they would expect to see the woman as the victim.

Rebecca went back downstairs and into her office to check on Lily; she was fine. Rebecca left Lily locked in the room. She sat on the floor looking at Roy. Blood was everywhere. She knew she couldn’t kill him, but she prayed that he would die.

After a few minutes, she heard the sirens. She walked over and unlocked and opened the front door. The alarm didn’t go off. She waited outside as police and ambulance medics filled the house.

Rebecca sat alone on the front step. She didn’t want to watch the EMTs save Roy’s life, so she watched the sheriffs talk and compare notes. She looked out to the hillside and wondered if the coyotes
were watching. She shivered in the cool night, waiting for somebody to talk to her.

After a female officer showed up, two other deputies joined her in questioning Rebecca. She answered their questions and watched the commotion inside the house.