Return to Me (15 page)

“Dad . . .” All this time the words she wanted to speak to him flooded her mind. Now . . .

“I’m listening.”

Like last night at the Pale Rider, she felt the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. The tears won. Again. “Dad, you must know that I . . . I dug a deep pit for myself when I was in Nashville.

I was selfish and reckless and foolish. I squandered everything, my money and talent and self-respect. I was lazy and spoiled, and even when others tried to help me, I wasn’t grateful. I thought I deserved things to be easy.” She took a deep breath. “I know you prayed about all the things I did, even when you didn’t know what they were.” She lowered her gaze, knowing she wasn’t ready yet to confess the full extent of her transgressions. “That pit I dug was so deep, Dad, that I didn’t think there was a way out of it. But I . . . I was wrong. There’s always a way out of the pit.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I discovered it last night.”

“What is that way, Roxy?” He stepped closer to her desk. “Jesus.” His name on her lips stirred awe and joy, thanksgiving

and praise, surprise and peace. “Jesus is the way out of the pit.”

With fresh tears falling from her eyes, she told her dad what happened to her, about her surrender to Christ, about staying up all night to read the Bible, about feeling awash in God’s love. Finally, words spent, she fell silent.

Her father came around the desk and drew her up from the chair, folding her into his embrace. “Thank God. He’s given me the desire of my heart.” He kissed the top of her head. “Welcome to the family of God, my dear child.”

Roxy remembered lying on that mattress in her dumpy apart- ment in Nashville, her mind telling her,
Go home.
At the time, she thought home was a physical destination, a safe port from the mess she’d made of her life. But it was a different home that called to her heart.

“Have you told Elena yet?”

She shook her head as she drew back, looking up. “I wanted to tell you first.”

“This is only the beginning, Roxy. The next step is to become Christ’s disciple. That means many things— baptism, studying His

Word, confession and repentance, worship and prayer. Your sister will want to help you in every way she can.” He cupped her chin with one hand. “Your shared faith will help draw the two of you close again.”

“I hope you’re right, Dad.” “I am. You’ll see.”

Sixteen

After hanging up the telephone, Elena put a check mark on her Saturday to-do list beside the words, “Make appointment with flo- rist.” The next item on the list was to order the wedding invitations. She glanced at her watch. Wyatt should arrive soon so they could complete that task together.

She pushed the chair away from the kitchen table and carried her mug to the sink, dumping the residue of coffee before rinsing it. As she opened the dishwasher, Ditto, her black-and-white tomcat, rubbed against her legs, weaving between her ankles while purring. She bent down and lifted the oversized feline into her arms.

“Hello, boy. Are you looking for some attention?”

Ditto came to live with Elena the same week she closed escrow on her first home. That was seven years ago. The now-twenty- pound cat slept in her bed at night, but in the daytime, he could often be found stretched out in a puddle of sunlight.

“Maybe you’d like a treat. Is that what you’re after?” He responded by increasing the volume of his purr. The doorbell chimed.

“There’s Wyatt.” Elena set the cat on the floor and headed down the hall, grabbing her purse off the counter as she went. But when she opened the front door, she found her sister standing on the stoop.

“Hi.” Roxy’s gaze landed on Elena’s purse. “Were you on your way out?”

She glanced up the street. “Yes, I am. At least, I will be soon.” “Can you spare me a few minutes? I need to talk to you about something. I meant to yesterday, but you left the office before I

could.”

Elena wanted to refuse, to say they could talk later, that she was too busy, but then she heard Wyatt’s voice in her head:
“You need to cut her some slack.”

“I promise not to keep you long.”

Another quick glance, this time at her wristwatch. “I suppose I have a few minutes to spare.” She stepped back, making room for Roxy to pass.

Just as Wyatt’s car turned into her driveway.

Roxy glanced over her shoulder, saw Wyatt as he got out of the Subaru, and smiled. The expression on her sister’s face stole Elena’s breath away and sent her stomach plummeting at the same time.

She’s so beautiful. What man could resist her?

“Morning, Roxy.” He strode toward them. “Didn’t expect to find you here. Are you going to the mall with us?”

Elena couldn’t
believe
he asked that! The last thing she wanted

was her sister helping select their wedding invitations. But Wyatt couldn’t read her expression, not when he didn’t look at her. Not when he stared at Roxy instead.

“No,” Roxy answered. “And I’m sorry to intrude on your time together. I know you’ve got things to do. But I’m glad you’re here, Wyatt. I’ve got something to tell you both.”

Elena walked into her living room. She sat on the sofa, folding her hands on her knees. Roxy and Wyatt appeared in the entrance a moment later.

For a heartbeat, Elena felt herself thrust back in time. She was a college student, home for the Christmas holidays, watching as Roxy and Wyatt left on a date. The two of them had eyes only for each other, gazes that smoldered with passion. Elena was the invisible sister, the one who did what was right but who did it alone. The one who loved the boy who loved Roxy.

Wyatt came to sit beside Elena on the sofa, his action returning her thoughts to the present. He reached out and covered her hands with one of his. She tried to take comfort from the gesture. She tried to remember that things weren’t the same, that Wyatt loved her now, that he saw her, that she wasn’t invisible.

None of which quelled the niggling fear in her heart.

“Did you have a good time last night?” she asked Roxy, want- ing to break the uncomfortable silence.

“Last night? Oh, you mean with the girls from the office. No.” Her sister shook her head. “I decided not to go.” She sat on one of the matching upholstered chairs. “Something happened to me on Thursday night. Something wonderful.”

Thursday night. The night Roxy went to see Wyatt at his home. The night he failed to call Elena.

Her stomach turned to lead.

=

Roxy’s heart fluttered like the wings of a caged bird, both excited and anxious.

“What happened on Thursday?”

Wyatt’s gentle voice washed over her.
Thank you
, she told him with her eyes. “After I left your house, I was confused. So I went to the Pale Rider for a drink.”

He looked a little surprised. Elena’s expression seemed to say the news didn’t surprise her at all.

“But for some reason, I realized I was thirsty for something else.” She paused at the overwhelming truth of the words she was about to speak. “I was thirsty for God.”

Wyatt grinned.

“I’m not sure I can put into words how it happened. I just know that all of a sudden I knew how much He loved me and that

I wanted to belong to Him.” She released a soft, almost disbelieving laugh. “I’ve been born again.”

Wyatt leaned across the coffee table, still smiling, and patted her knee. “Awesome. That’s awesome, Roxy. An answer to prayer.”

“Lots of prayers.” She looked at her sister. “I’m glad for you.”

Elena’s words sounded right, but why wasn’t there the same delight in her eyes that Roxy had seen in their father’s? Why didn’t this make Elena as happy as it made Wyatt?

She drew a quick breath. “Dad said I need to meet with another Christian who can help me understand more. He thought it should be you, Elena. Will you? Help me, I mean.”

Her sister gave her a half smile. “Of course. If I can.”

“We’ll both help.” Wyatt put his arm around Elena’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “You couldn’t have brought us better news.” There was nothing halfway about his smile; it was ear to ear. “We’re rejoicing right along with the angels in heaven. Aren’t we, Elena?”

Elena’s stiff nod was like a slap.

Tears of disappointment threatened. Why wasn’t it her sister saying those words? Why wasn’t it Elena who beamed at the news? Why did this distance remain between them even now?

Roxy rose from the chair. “I’d better go. You two were on your way out.”

Wyatt stood too, drawing Elena with him. “Not to do any- thing more important than this, I assure you.” He stepped around the coffee table and gave her a warm hug. She settled into his embrace, even as she wished it was her sister’s arms around her. “We mean it, Roxy. We couldn’t be happier for you. Everything will seem different as you begin to look at it from an eternal perspec- tive.” He released her and stepped back. “We’ll see you in church tomorrow.”

“Yes. I’ll be there.” She cast a quick glance at her sister.
I love you, Elena.

With the unspoken sentiment stuck in her throat, she walked out of the house, the joy drained from her spirit.

R
OXY

November 1994

Roxy slid across the front seat of Wyatt’s mom’s ancient Buick and stepped onto the sidewalk. An icy wind cut through the skin- tight legs of her jeans. She held onto her hat with one hand while Wyatt took hold of her opposite elbow and escorted her toward the corner bar.

At nineteen, she was below drinking age, but she had a fake ID that would get her through the doors. Besides, she wasn’t there to drink. She was there to sing. Saturday at the Pale Rider, her favorite Western bar, was karaoke night.

Wyatt opened the door, releasing a blast of sound along with a cloud of cigarette smoke. “Ladies first.” He motioned her in.

She rose up and kissed his cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

This Thanksgiving weekend was the first time he’d been home since fall classes began at the University of Idaho. Between law school and a part-time job, he didn’t have much free time to come south from Moscow.

Roxy loved the feel of Wyatt’s hand in the small of her back as they made their way to a large table near the stage. It told any- one looking that she was his. She liked being his. She loved Wyatt Baldini. Oh, they fought like cats and dogs, but the making up was always fun.

She tossed her coat over a couple of chairs, saving them for friends who would join them within the hour.

“Want anything to drink?” Wyatt asked as another song began over the sound system.

“Sure. A Sprite.”

He lifted an eyebrow.

“No liquor tonight. Dad’s been watching me kind of close.” She waved a hand in front of her face. “It’ll be bad enough when I come home reeking of smoke.”

Wyatt headed for the bar. Tall, dark, and handsome — the recipe for sex appeal — he got plenty of smiles from women on his way there.

Hands off, ladies. He’s mine.

He stopped at the bar and gave the bartender their drink order. Then he looked behind him, finding Roxy with his gaze. He smiled at her, and she went all warm inside.

There was a new air of confidence about him that she hadn’t seen before. In the past, he was cocky, but she’d sensed it was bra- vado masquerading as confidence. This seemed to be the real deal. College had been good for him.

There were times when Roxy was certain she and Wyatt would be together forever. She would be a famous singer and he could operate as her legal advisor and manager. Of course, when they fought, she swore she never wanted to see him again.

They were in a good period now. They hadn’t had a fight in months. But they hadn’t seen each other in months either. She smiled. It was all too true.

There would be no fighting tonight. She wouldn’t let them fight. Tonight, they would enjoy a few hours of singing and laugh- ter, and then they would slip away for a few hours together, the two of them.

Roxy reached for a fat three-ring binder that listed the songs available. She flipped through the pages, looking for the right lyr-

ics to sing to Wyatt tonight, something that would tell him he was her man and she was his woman. She stopped on a Wynonna Judd song: “No One Else on Earth.”

She smiled again. Yes, that was the right song tonight. There was no one else on earth for Roxy. Only Wyatt. Always Wyatt.

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Seventeen

Wyatt and Elena sat at a large table in the meeting room of the photographer’s studio, several large notebooks open before them. They’d looked through them for an hour, and at this point, every sample invitation looked the same to him.

“What about this one?”

“No.” Elena shook her head. “I don’t like the color. I want something less lavender. More mauve.”

Lavender. Mauve. What was the difference?

He pushed his chair back from the table and stood. “I need something to drink. I’m going to the snack bar. Shall I bring you anything?”

“No, thanks. I’ll keep looking through these books. We’ve got to find something today. We’re running out of time.”

“I’ll hurry.” He stepped toward the door. “Are we rushing things, Wyatt?” “What?” He turned around.

She hooked a loose strand of dark hair behind an ear. “Maybe we should give ourselves a little more time to plan the wedding.”

“Elena, what’s bothering you?”

“I wish you’d stop asking me that. There’s nothing wrong that a little more sleep and a little less work wouldn’t cure. I get tired. I’m human.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

She shook her head, not answering, her gaze lowered to the notebooks.

The unrest that had been nagging him since they left her home grew. What was going on? Had he done something wrong? “We’ve

always been honest with each other, Elena. Let’s not break that habit at this stage of the game.”

After a lengthy silence, she looked at him. “Do you still love Roxy?”

He shouldn’t be surprised by her question, and yet he was. “Wyatt, you never noticed me until long after she left you.” “Of course I noticed you. We talked all the time. Every time I