RETRACE (12 page)

“You drive me insane. I can’t stop thinking about this,” Reeves says, grazing his thumb against my tongue. Not long after, his tongue takes the place of his thumb. He traces mine, sucking, tasting me slowly and hard. He pulls back just enough to drink me in with heavily heated eyes. “I need to feel you, now.” He says next, and a warm pull takes control of every organ beneath my waistline.

“Nothing is stopping you,” I breathe. The carnal way he looks at me at this very moment is a vision I’ll never be able to forget. It has so much heat, hunger and determination, it leaves me breathless. His mouth homes in on my collarbone, starting a delicious attack, he sucks my skin in small little bites that have me whimpering. Still engaged in tasting my skin, Reeves walks us to the living room sofa. Reaching his target, he drops us both with him between my parted legs. He props his arms by my shoulders, distancing just enough to gaze at me.

Still watching me attentively, he sends his right arm to pull his shirt over his head. He throws the cloth over the sofa and his weight is back on me. I close my eyes, indulging in every bit of his warm mass covering me. He presses his thigh to my middle in delicious, torturing pressure. His hand moves to my cheek, and slowly trails all the way to my breast, leaving gentleness aside as he palms me. I fling my arm to the back of his neck and pull him to my mouth. The tips of our tongues short-circuit, sending the sensation all the way down to my throbbing heat. Our kiss gradually, with greater energy, evolves into a battle of strokes, pants, and dominance.

Reeves inches back with one of his hands planted firmly at my back, bringing us together to stand on our knees, to face each other. In no time, we discard of my top and bra. I send my hand to his chest, grazing my way south over smooth skin, ridges, and soft hair. The tension directed from my eyes to his is so intense, it’s almost tangible. I trail my hand further down on his hard body, his eyes for a brief moment leave mine to follow my hand as it reaches the bulge in his jeans. As I press around the swell his eyelids flutter and his next breath is sharply sucked in.

Reeves’ hand shoots to hold the back of my head, slightly tugging forward, for his mouth to hover next to mine. “I need your bare skin around me, Nia.” He whispers huskily to my mouth. It’s all that’s needed for me to slide my hand inside his jeans and wrap it around him. He is hard, yet smooth and warm, and everything I want in me. Reeves grabs my thigh, wrapping it around his hip. He slowly pushes us back till I’m sprawled on the sofa beneath him. The next moments are dedicated to ripping jeans off heated bodies, heavy, needy breaths and stolen, urged kisses as we straggle to get rid of any fabric separating us.

Reeves tips my chin, holding it between his fingers and thumb. He bites on my bottom lip while croakily saying, “I’m getting a condom.”

One last kiss and he inches up, heading toward the bedroom. I follow him with my stare, headily, savoring the sight: firm, toned back, and curved, sexy ass. I notice that my body is literally emitting heat, my nerve ends at full attention, waiting impatiently for his skin to touch with mine again.

Settling on his knees before me, he nudges my legs to part. His eyes are a liquid, raw green as he hands me the condom. I prop up just enough to reach him. My attempt at ripping the silver packet with my teeth is abruptly stopped. My next breath is heavy, and thick as Reeves cups me, gently spreading me for his thumb to reach closer. I arch my back, my head falling back in tandem to a moan that escapes my mouth. His thumb starts tracing, grazing ever so gently up and down my heated spot.

“I won’t be able to put it on you when you do this.” I murmur with my eyes still closed and my head still tilted back, utterly high on his touch.

“We have plenty of time.” He says, sinking a finger in me.

“Reeves,” I breathe and another one joins. “God,” and his thumb joins to circle my throbbing peak. I almost scream next when the pressure becomes impossibly heavenly. His other hand sprawled between my breasts pushes me slowly to lay on my back as his fingers continue to deliciously spread me wider. I focus on his consuming stare as I build higher and higher. Still working me to overpowering desire, he inches closer to suck my nipple into his warm mouth. The pressure of his thumb moving in circling motions around where I need him becomes almost unbearable. His mouth joins the sweet torture with painfully sweet bites on my nipple. His name comes out in a string of chants when my body can’t take it anymore and I cum around his fingers, hard.

Just when I think I can breathe again, he draws back to kneel between my thighs for his tongue to lick my spamming tissues. I cry again, jerking my body away, but he holds me still, suckling me to the edge of blissful oblivion.

I give Nia a moment to come down from her loud, and very rewarding orgasm, feasting my eyes on her as I roll on a condom. Her hair is scattered on the sofa in a dark halo around her beautiful face. Her cheeks flushed, her mouth swollen and red from my kisses and bites. She is perfect like that, absorbing the orgasm I just gave her. She is the most stunning sight I’ve ever seen, spread before me, waiting for me to make her cum once more.

Christ, my cock is so strained and hard it begins to hurt. I need to be inside her. Her hazel eyes watch me in heavy sedation. Returning her stare, I grab her thighs and lift her pelvis to line up with my erection. I tug her forward. Her head sinks deeper onto the sofa and her legs open wider for me. I watch myself sinking ever so slowly inside of her. I shut my eyes, savoring the feeling of her hot walls closing around me, devouring me.

“Fuck,” I gush. She feels beyond amazing. Nia purrs a moan as I move inside her and unhurriedly pull back. I hold still for a beat and thrust forcefully. Her lips part and she arches her back.

“Uh.” Another moan leaves her mouth. My blood burns inside my veins to the exquisite sound. The noises she makes, the way she feels, soft, warm, and tight—I’m completely lost in her. She feels fucking incredible. I slow down, holding still deep inside of her. I do not move. I don't want this moment to end.

When Nia’s fingers move to pinch her nipples, my dick grows harder. I let out a groan as her narrowed eyes lock with mine. Moving my hands to cradle her ass, I jerk her closer to me and start pounding, rocking wildly on my knees. Her moans escalate and she starts chanting my name again, I can’t believe anything can ever feel this amazing. I squeeze her ass with both hands, sinking deeper inside of her. She clenches tighter around me, eagerly sucking me in. Fuck, I’m not going to last much longer. If I had to choose a way to die, this is how I’d want to draw my final breath, inside of her.

As her panting hastens and becomes erratic, my thrusts mimic the rhythm, turning forceful, faster. The room fills with the sounds of our rapid breaths, pants, curses, the sound of flesh against flesh, our names on each other’s lips. At her final cry, I watch her falling apart in bliss in my hands, her eyes closed, her hair clinging in thin clusters to her sweaty face. She is spent, sedated, and breathtakingly gorgeous. I wet my lips, focusing my eyes on her, pounding harder. As I sink deeper she opens her eyes to mine, her gaze at me doesn’t waver though her entire body jerks with each of my slams into her. She contracts tighter around me with my next thump, and I cum so hard the world spins around me. I empty myself inside her while she watches me heatedly. My sight hazes into blessed darkness as I tip my head back, letting ecstasy wash through every part of me. The high is so hard, it’s almost euphoric.

Nia is curled on the sofa, hugging her bent legs, snuggled in my deserted shirt. She is watching me as I make my way back from the bathroom. I pass by the fridge and fetch two water bottles before joining her in the living room. I hand her a bottle and almost empty mine in one long swig. She watches me, a small smile playing on her lips behind her bottle. I mirror her and our smiles grow in unison.

“To doing your neighbors!” she clinks her bottle to mine with a wicked grin, encouraging a chuckle to roll from my mouth. She snickers lightly and takes a sip of her own bottle.
She’s just the coolest chick
.

We fall into easy conversation, slouched side by side. I watch her attentively next as she tells me about how beautiful Brazil is. And all I can do is focus on every delicate curve of her face: her big eyes, her pointy nose, her naturally swollen lips. The way her hair falls in heavy masses over her shoulders. My thoughts wander to how peaceful she makes me feel. Her company is so easy, I don’t have to fight anything away while with her. Everything that’s ill doesn’t even attempt to appear.

“Have you ever been to Brazil?”

Her question pulls me back. I nod.

“Yeah, but I didn’t have much time to enjoy it. It was a business trip, so it was basically work all the time.” She pulls the sleeves of my shirt to her elbows.

“You should definitely visit again,” she says returning to hug her bent legs.

“How about you, are you planning to visit home anytime soon?” As soon as the question leaves my mouth, I regret asking it. Smiling Nia disappears behind sad eyes. I say the first thing that jumps to my mind with a need to get her back from whatever made her look this way.

“Where did you learn to dance that way?”

“My mom says I’ve always danced.” Her smile returns as she continues, “She says I was dancing before I could even walk. I get lost in it, it’s the best legal high.” Nia elaborates and tells me how she joined any possible dance course before the age of fourteen. Gazing at her, actually interested in what she has to say, a sudden realization lands in my mind: we just had sex and I don’t have the urge to have her close the door behind her and leave. I actually want her to stay. I actually want to hear more about her. And mostly, I want to have that little pull on her lips stay for as long as I can make it.

More than an hour of talking passes while we exchange equally insignificant and intriguing information about ourselves, preferences, our jobs, the small part I can actually share, down to favorite movies and music. Each time we learn of the many similarities we share, we trade soft smiles. It’s when Nia asks me about my family that a small debate starts in my head. I contemplate if I want to tell her more about myself, or as each time this topic has been raised with everybody else before, take a step back and end the conversation. End whatever is starting between us.

“No, I don’t have any siblings. The closest thing to a family I got is Katie and her parents.” Nia’s eyes grow as she takes in my answer. Her demeanour alters, guarded. “Katie is like a sister to me.” I feel like I need to clear up the Katie situation, especially after sleeping together.

“She is my best friend’s little sister. My best friend Ben who passed away a few years ago.” Nia’s expression turns into a blend of empathy and contemplation.

“I’m sorry about your friend,” she says quietly.

I acknowledge her with a gentle blink. “Ben’s family took me as their own the first time Ben brought me home, about fifteen years ago.” In a way, for them, I sort of stepped into Ben’s big shoes. Shoes I could never really fill. Shoes I don’t deserve to be filling.

“Where are
your parents
?” Nia asks next.

“My mother died while giving birth to me, and my father is traveling around the world still trying to figure out how to continue living without her,” I say flatly. It never stops to amaze me just how easy
these words
come out of my mouth. Quite early, I came to terms with not having a mother, well, when you’re born into such reality and there’s nothing else to compare to, it’s just what it is. I bring my eyes back to her and can’t help just how much I’m liking her reaction. She doesn’t have that look of pity in her eyes, the one I get each time I tell someone new about my past.

It’s as though she accepts it and instead of giving me a sorry look or some lame response, she just says, “Yeah, life can really suck.”

“True,” I say, trying not to think about tomorrow, not now, but it still surfaces.

“Hey, where did you go?” Nia’s voice penetrates my reverie of Ben’s name as it is engraved on a headstone. The next words that come out of my mouth leave me both surprised and muddled. I'm not sure what astounds me more, the fact of actually talking to anyone beside Jake or the Evans about tomorrow, or the ease I feel telling it to
her
.

“I was thinking about tomorrow, we are planning to visit Ben, his family and me.”

“How… How long has it been since he…?”

“Three years, tomorrow.” My answer is curt. Her face stones over and her surprised eyes dart to mine for a brief moment of silence. It seems like the next breath is a difficult one for her to take. Her stare is empty, sad, and distant. When she comes back to me, she seems distracted.

“Um… Um…” She starts, and frowns at her futile attempt to articulate.

I just look at her and wait, she seems to be having an inner battle. All too familiar with the feeling of failing to share, or communicate at times, I just squeeze her hand. Nia couldn’t look more thankful to the sound of my phone ringing next. I give her a short glance before starting toward the kitchen. I wasn’t planning on answering, but do so for her sake, to break the tensed moment we just had. Let her out of the emotional loop she too evidently was pulled into.

“Jake,” I answer the call.

“Are you coming over?”

“No. Not tonight.”

“Where are you?”

“At home, Nia’s here.”

“Lucky son of a bitch.” Amusement lines his words.

“I’ll drop by tomorrow.”

I play with a lock of Nia’s hair between my fingers, relishing the feel of it on my skin. I lower my head just enough to inhale it. It smells of honey, pure. I run my eyes over her calm face, watching her sleep. Again, she’d fallen asleep on my shoulder. Not long after we ordered in Italian and had it with a couple of wine glasses, she fell asleep. This time I’ve carried her to my bed and tucked her in. I lie on my side, my head leaning on my propped elbow, watching her. She seems so peaceful, and delicate. But I know better, I’ve seen glimpses of it many times in the short while we’ve known each other, she holds something painful deep inside of her. Her sad eyes, the many times she disappears inside her head. It’s too familiar, I can’t seem to overlook it, even if I tried. I softly run my thumb over her velvety cheek and bend to leave a soft kiss on it. I breathe her in one more time and turn to grab a book before heading to the balcony to read, letting her sleep.