Authors: Bethany Chase
1.
If you were facing the choice that Caroline does throughout much of the bookâto forgive your partner for an enormous betrayal and rebuild the relationship, or to walk awayâwhat would you do? Why?
2.
If Caroline had reconciled with Adam early on, instead of continuing a separation that let him rekindle his relationship with Patrick, what do you think would have happened in their marriage? Do you think Adam would have kept seeing Patrick if Caroline hadn't left him?
3.
One of the questions the book asks is, How well can we ever really know the ones we love? Aside from Adam's affair and lies, which other characters hide bits of information from one another, and why? What particular secrets would you find hardest to forgive?
4.
Jonathan takes a more laissez-faire attitude than Caroline toward people in a relationship withholding small things from each other. How do you draw the line between what is acceptable and unacceptable? What do you do when there's a difference of opinion between one person's “I truly did not believe this mattered” and his or her partner's “Of course it does”?
5.
Adam deeply loves Carolineâat least, he says he doesâbut it does not seem to be exactly the same way in which she loves him. What are the differences between their feelings for each other?
6.
What do you think is going to happen with Jonathan and Ruby? Do you think they will make their relationship work and end up together? Why?
7.
What Neil says about his wife in the final sceneâthat he's realized that letting go of her is a step beyond simply accepting that she's goneâis also true of Caroline with Adam. How much do you think she has truly let go of her husband by the end of the story? Do you think Caroline and Neil are ready to start a relationship that doesn't have two other people in it?
8.
On their trip to the Grand Canyon, Ruby explains to Caroline that “people can only give you what they have.” Do you agree with her? How can you know if your partner is giving you everything he or she has? When do you know if it is not enough?
9.
We come to learn that Adam struggles with his relationship with his father and a fear of disappointing him, which is one of the reasons he has kept so many secrets from Caroline as well. How can fear affect our ability to experience love? How does this speak to the interconnectedness of our relationships? Has there been a time in your life when you felt that the state of one of your close relationships impacted another?
10.
Besides her ability to accept and forgive Adam and his betrayal, another of Caroline's personal successes is her ability to entice Diana Ramirez to donate to MASS MoCA and fund a residency for Farren Walker, an artist close to Caroline's heart. How do you think this victory contributes to her healing process and new sense of sel
f?
11.
In describing one of her pieces, Farren explains, “The dots are the guidelines we think we see. But they're only an illusion, not the thing that marks the path.” How does this statement resonate with Caroline's own journey throughout the novel? When in your life have you had to rethink the “dots” you thought you knew? How did you navigate the maze in your life?
12.
Caroline eventually decides that “maybe there [is] a limit to the power of knowledge, after all,” and that, even with everything she knows now, she wouldn't change anything about her relationship with Adam. Do you agree? When is knowledge powerful? When can it do more harm than good? In matters of the heart, is there more value to your knowledge of your partner or to the experience you share?
The One That Got Away
Results May Vary
PHOTO: © A. PACHENCE
A native of Virginia's Shenandoah Valley, B
ETHANY
C
HASE
headed to Williams College for an English degree and somehow came out the other side an interior designer. She is the author of the novel
The One That Got Away,
and when she's not writing or designing, you can usually find her in a karaoke bar. She lives with her husband and cat in Brooklyn, three flights up.
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