Restore Me (19 page)

“Be my wife. Marry me, Josephine.” He kneels
down, looking just a little nervous, and it melts me
completely.

I heard him. I saw his mouth moving. I see him
anticipating my answer but my brain is stuck on stupid. The only
thing I can manage is to stare at him. My heart is speeding so fast
in my chest I feel out of breath, just standing here. I smile so
wide that my cheeks hurt. I pull him up from the ground and throw
my arms around his neck. Damon sweeps me off my feet and I’m
pressed so hard against his firm chest that I can barely
breathe.

“Say it one more time,” I whisper in his
ear.

His chest begins to shake with mirth. “Marry
me?” he says through his laughter.

“One more time?” I plea.

He sets me back to my feet and looks at me with
wide eyes. “Woman, if you don’t tell me you’ll marry me right
now—”

“Yes. I’ll marry you.” I cut off his idle threat
with the most clear, resounding yes I can offer.

His laughter fades and his chest expands as he
inhales deeply. “I’m going to make you very happy,” he promises
softly. It’s a familiar promise that deserves a familiar
response.

“You already have.” He smiles and tucks my hair
behind my ear. One of his hands slips into his pocket and produces
a breathtaking ring. My mouth pops open as he holds it out to
me.

“Read the inscription.” He offers me the ring
and I bring it close to read the writing on the inside of the
band.

My heart resides with you.

It’s a portion of the quote that Papa had
inscribed on the watch he gave Maman. I’ll always have a piece of
both of them on the ring that signifies my union with Damon. I
couldn’t ask for more.

My Papa won’t walk me down the aisle. I won’t
get the pre-walk chat with him about how I’ve grown up but I’ll
always be his girl. There won’t be a father-daughter dance,
either.

My Maman won’t get to help me pick a dress. She
won’t get to ooh and ahh over my hair and makeup on my big day.
There will be no choosing flower arrangements together.

They won’t be at my wedding. But my Damon has
found a beautiful way to make sure they are both very much in the
center of it all. And of our lives. An instant lump forms in my
throat and tears pool in my eyes, fogging my vision. Damon takes
the ring from my trembling hand and kisses it. He turns my left
hand over, palm down, and slips the ring into place on my finger.
It fits like a glove. It fits like it’s always been there.

“It’s perfect, thank you,” I croak. I stare down
at the ring in awe. It glitters and glistens in the light. It’s a
single diamond, held high in a six prong setting, and it’s
perfectly me.

Damon’s finger hooks under my chin and tilts my
head to look at him. His honey eyes consume me like they always do.
His fingers tangle in my hair. He leans in and I lick my lips just
before his mouth comes down on mine. His lips cover mine and lead
the kiss. He steals my breath as he takes from me hungrily. It’s
the most meaningful kiss to seal the deal and I give him the best
I’ve got. After another, softer kiss he breaks from me. “So, can I
take my
fiancé
to celebrate?”

His emphasis on my new title has me grinning
like an idiot.

“After all of this…” I motion around me then
look down at my ring again. “I’m pretty sure you can do whatever
the hell you want. I’m in heaven.”

He smiles and waggles his eyebrows.
Oh hell.
I love my dirty, Big Man.

“Let’s get out of here.” He slings his heavy arm
around my shoulders and we walk towards the front door. As he turns
to lock the door, my phone starts to ring in my back pocket. I pull
it from my jeans and see that it’s Noni. She’s been calling nonstop
over the past few days with ideas for the coffee shop. I know she’s
excited about it, but damn. Now’s not the time to be bothered. I’m
enjoying our moment!

“Hey, Noni. Everything okay?” I ask, sounding
way too chipper to even my own ears.
Must be the huge rock on my
left hand and this gorgeous house.
I smile again just thinking
about all of it. “What’s up? Did you ever think of a good name for
those Danish things?”

There’s a pause and my face fades.
Something’s wrong
.

“What’s wrong?” I demand.

“Um, nothing’s really wrong, Jo. I was just
calling…because of the letter. You told me to call if I was willing
to talk. He’s mine.”

I’m so fucking shocked that I can practically
feel the color drain from my face. Damon turns to look at me then
does a double take. His jaw tightens and does that ticking thing. I
better get a grip or he’s going to know something’s up.

“Your last name isn’t Davis!” I blurt out.

“No, it’s not. It’s a long story. I’ve gone by
Noni for years. It’s my nickname.”

“Um, yeah, okay, no big deal. We can talk about
the menu tomorrow at work.” I do my best to play it off like I’m
having some work conversation with her.

“He’s right there, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, yeah.” I kick at nothing on the walkway
as I struggle to keep this mess from exploding in my face. I’ve
just gotten
engaged
. I don’t want to ruin everything by
Damon finding out what I’ve done.

“I’m so sorry, Jo.” The remorse that I hear in
Noni’s voice is genuine. I can’t even wrap my brain around it.
Noni, my Noni. My Noni is Beverly, Damon’s biological mother.

“Okay, no big deal. We can figure it all out in
the morning. See ya tomorrow. Bye.” I hang up in a hurry and stuff
the phone into my pocket.

“Noni?” he asks.

For a moment I think he knows. My mouth is dry,
my heart is pounding out of control, my stomach turns; I have to
lie
. He isn’t ready.

“What’s wrong?”

“She just needs me to look over some coffee shop
stuff but I want to stay right here with you. I want to forget
everything and everyone.” Only part of my explanation is a lie. I
really do just want to stay right here with him and forget the
world but what’s done is done. There’s no turning back. I already
went behind his back and found his mother.

“Maybe I should take my woman on a
vacation?”

I smile and relax as he wraps his arm around me
again and we walk towards his truck.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t argue with some time away from
here. It would be nice.”

He releases me to open my door. “Really?” He
looks at me with an expression of disbelief on his face. I guess I
just shocked the shit out of him.

“Really.”

My Big Man smiles triumphantly then shuts my
door and rounds the truck. He slides into the driver’s seat and
lifts my left hand. He glances at the ring he just put there and
looks at me with the sweetest, heartmelting, boyish smile I’ve ever
seen on his face.

I know he deserves to know what I’ve done. I’ve
always assumed that Noni stared at Damon and blushed around him
because she was a cougar or something. I never would’ve dreamed
that she’s the one who gave birth to him. I don’t know if I can
tell him. He’s on his way to being better. Truth be told, I think
we’re both well on our way to being better.

I don’t think there is an end, though. I think
I’ll be getting better for the rest of life. I’ll spend the days I
have left restoring and repairing all of the damaged parts of my
life and I’m okay with that. I just hope he can be okay with it,
too. Like Dr. Versan says, “it’s okay to not be okay.” I’m smack in
the middle of not being okay and I’m hoping for our sake that the
good doc is right. I have so much to lose. It’s a gamble that I’m
not sure I’m willing to make. I’ll forget about all of this and
marry the love of my life. I fought so damn hard to get him back
after what happened. I won’t risk losing him to his past again.

***

I’m running out of
options and that cunt is screwing up the only plan I have. Stupid
bitch! That’s what she is and I know how to handle stupid bitches.
My cell phone rings in my shirt pocket and I pull it out and flip
it open to answer. I don’t have to check the screen. I know who it
is. He said he would call today.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, man. We gotta talk.” This motherfucker
sounds edgy. He’s been getting more and more nervous. If he doesn’t
knock it the fuck off, this whole thing is going to go up in
smoke.

“Yeah, we do. Did you do what I asked you to
do?”

He sighs into the phone.
The pussy didn’t do
it.

“Not yet,” he says. “I’m working on it. Listen,
we have problems.”

I’m not shocked with this idiot; we always have
problems. “What the fuck is wrong now?”

“I think she might know. And that big
motherfucker she’s with is making me nervous as hell. He looks
crazy.”

“Listen. You have a very simple job to do. I pay
you really fucking well to do that job. If you won’t get it done,
I’ll pay someone else. Got it?”

“What about the chick?”

“You don’t worry about that bitch or her
boyfriend. I’ll handle them. You just do what you were paid to
do!”

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll do it.”

“Good. Don’t call me again until it’s done.” I
snap my phone shut and take a slug of whiskey. It’s cheap and
tastes like goat piss. Hell, goat piss might even taste better than
this shit. I’d buy the good booze, but times are hard and money is
tight. I’ve got to get that fucking money or I’m not going to have
to worry about buying anything to drink. I’ll be in the goddamned
desert being eaten by buzzards. I have to get that money. My good
for nothing son won’t give me a fucking penny, so that leaves Mom.
I’ll get it from her and if that fails, it’s coming out of Damon’s
pocket. Somehow. He’s been a mistake since he was conceived. That
bitch tried to ruin everything by getting knocked up. I showed her
how to shut up and go away. I’ll show this little bitch girlfriend
of his, too.

***

Acknowledgements are
quite possibly the most difficult part of writing a book. I don’t
want to leave anyone out but at the same time I won’t ramble out
names for pages on end. It’s simple really. There is a handful of
people in my life who I simply like a whole lot. So many people run
around saying “oh I just love this or that or him or her.”

I say that
liking
someone means a hell of
a lot more than anything else. I have to like a person before I
bring them into my crazy little world. These are some people that I
simply
like!

My agent, Marisa Corviesiero, is quite possibly
one of the coolest, most industry savvy people I know and she isn’t
scared to drop the f-bomb on occasion. She’s a lady after my own
heart.

You bloggers who work your butts off for nothing
more than the satisfaction of reading and sharing a book, thank you
for loving to read as much as you do.

Angela McLaurin! I will never, EVER say “bless
your heart” to you. Ever. You are one hell of a formatter and
woman! Thank you.

My amazing editor, Erin! I still vote that you
rename Wise Owl Editing to Wise Ass Editing. It’s a cool name and
we both know it fits. Thank you for being the best damn, under
paid, over worked editor on the planet!

Robin Harper you are one skilled woman. You
swooped in to save the day at the very last minute. You did two
spectacular covers for me in record time. I feel like maybe I
should get you a drink sometime. Just saying.

Heather Halloran! I’m not sure what I would do
without our daily conversations. You are an awesome lady and
blogger who I am lucky to talk to almost daily.

To my family. Thank you for supporting my
career. It makes this job even more rewarding and gratifying.

To my readers. You all humble me all the time
with how much you love my characters and stories. They come to life
only through you.