Restoration & Forgiveness (Renovate Book 2) (9 page)

"Look what Reese sent me." I thrust my phone directly into his face. He looks confused at first, but I know the very moment that he realizes what he's looking at because his grin widens.

"This is the baby?" he asks, pointing to the screen.

I nod, and he enlarges the photo on my phone. He's taken aback, and I'm not sure if he's remembering the baby he lost, but he's still smiling.

"I can't believe that Kaleb is going to be a dad."

"I know, he's going to be a great dad," I tell him.

"The best."

He lifts his eyes to mine and I'm under his spell. How can one man's eyes tell me so much? It's thrilling and unnerving at the same time.

"I'm not pregnant, Keegan," I blurt.

"I figured as much, since you were drinking last night."

His eyes fill with sadness, and after seeing the beginning of one life, I'm a little sad too. I don't know why exactly, because having a baby right now would complicate things even more, but I would have been happy to have a piece of Keegan, even if we can't be together, because he too would be an amazing father.

"I took a test and it was negative. One less thing to worry about, I guess," I admit.

Swiftly Keegan grabs my wrist, pulling me in to him. He's still holding my phone. I have my eyes glued to the floor. I don't want him to see the emotion I'm carrying. I know the moment he looks into my eyes he'll feel what I do.

"Aimee, look at me."

I slowly lift my gaze to his. We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. His thumb is right on my pulse, and I'm sure he can feel how rapid my heartbeat is.

"It's okay to be sad. I'm disappointed too, but you will have plenty of time."

"I'm not sad," I lie. Everything happens for a reason. I've always taken comfort in that saying. That we don't control who we fall in love with, that certain paths are set in front of us for a particular purpose. It's always made little sense. When I was younger, I asked myself what did I do to deserve to be motherless at six years old, and why did my best friend abandon me. The world keeps spinning and mine just feels like it's been bounced around continuously my entire life.

"Yeah, that's bullshit," he tells me.

I go to pull away, but he's got a nice grip on me still, so much that he pulls me closer to him. He's got me wrapped in his arms and my face is buried in his chest. His warm, naked chest. He's holding me and it's soothing. I'm not ashamed of accepting comfort. I know I'm angry and trying to push him away, but Reese's words just echo in my head.

He loves you, and no matter what happens that's not going to go away.

I doubt it will ever go away for me either. Feeling his steady heartbeat, I'm actually convinced that I may never be able to get over him. No one holds the power he does over me. We are like those magnets that just pull together so perfectly. See, there goes my head and my heart doing two different things again.

I pull away from him, and he releases his hold on me. He holds my phone out to me and I take it.

"My heart is your heart. When you hurt, I hurt. If there was anything I could do to take away your pain, I would. If I could spend every last dime on a time machine, I would run to the bank right now. I would fix all my mistakes, and take away every ounce of hurt I have ever caused you."

I stare at him and nod. I believe him. I know how he feels about me; I don't doubt that he cares, but I'm just not sure about our future. I'm still not convinced we have one. At least the one I've dreamed of. Then I think of that castle he's building, and for a moment I'm happy, because I can picture it so easily.

So I turn and walk away from him, knowing he's offering me a future, but at what cost? What happens when it's not just us? This isn't where our jobs are, or our friends, it's just where we spent our childhood.

I enter my bedroom and lie in the unmade bed, curling myself into my pillows. Keegan's scent is all over my sheets, and I know I'm screwed.

***

Keegan insists on driving me to the hospital, and after last night l may be able to trust him again. The things he's told me about our time apart are shocking and worrisome. I do have regrets, and wish more than anything that I could have been there for him.

I need to stop this train of thought and look ahead. I've learned from my own experiences that nothing good can come from dwelling on the past.

When we arrive at the hospital and just before we enter my dad's room, he grabs my hand, which is a little sneaky on his part since he knows I can't pull away.

The doctor gives us good news and my dad is cleared to go home, but needs a lot of rest. He'll have to see the doctor again in a couple days, but it's a step in the right direction.

After signing off on the discharge we're free to take him back home. I'm not prepared for what my dad needs when he gets home, so I'm definitely going to have to hit our local grocery store after he's settled.

I have to give it to Keegan, he never misses a beat, offering to help me with everything I need and helping my dad out of his wheelchair and into the car, a gesture that of course warms my heart. Damn him and his chivalry and making it impossible for me to be mad.

He helped me change my dad's bedsheets and put on fresh ones. We work together in silence with only a few glances. My dad is currently secure and resting in his bed. He doesn't want to be fussed over, but he does need his rest. I don't think he understands the severity of what happened to him. I'm going to have to make sure he does, and the changes he needs to make. No more fatty foods, and exercise he needs to get that heart rate up.

Keegan is going to help me with the grocery shopping while my dad is sleeping; he should be fine for an hour.

"Ready?" he asks, throwing his keys in the air and catching them behind his back.

"Smooth." I smirk. How can one man be so adorable and sexy at the same time without even trying? It really should be a crime.

He smiles and winks, showing his dimples and holding the door open for me. We talk about what we need at the store. I've written a list just so I don't forget anything. When we reach the grocery store, I grab a cart, and with Keegan walking beside me it feels very domesticated. Both of us are grabbing what's on the list from the shelves.

"I'll be back," he tells me, and I watch him walk away and turn down an aisle. I make my way to the checkout after double-checking we have what we need.

"Miss me?" His breath hits my neck, and I hope he doesn't notice the goose bumps that instantly appear on my neck. What am I thinking? He knows exactly what effect he has, girl parts and all.

He is standing close to me in line, and I can feel the heat coming off his body. He's silent, but I can't help but feel like he's sending everyone a message that we are together. It's a dominant gesture, and for once I don't mind since the cute blonde cashier is looking at Keegan like she's starving. Why do they always have to be blonde?

As we are checking out, I notice he places a few items down: peanut butter, chocolate chips, and flour.

"You know my dad can't eat any of that," I tell him.

"I know, it's not for him."

"Who is it for then?" I'm more than curious.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Actually I would, because whatever he's making, it's either for him or me.

The cashier tells me the total and while I'm rummaging through my purse for my credit card Keegan hands over his. I go to tell him no, but he cuts me off.

"I don't want to hear it, Aimee, it's the least I can do." His voice is stern, so I zip my mouth.

"Wow, not even your famous pout. Are you getting soft on me?" he jokes, and I just roll my eyes.

"I've decided to pick and choose my battles with you."

We gather the groceries and head back to the house. Keegan and I easily fall into step with one another; he opens my door for me and places everything in the trunk. Is this what our life would have been like? Doing normal things together, buying groceries, cooking breakfast, and running errands. It's good to do normal things, but even if we could change things, this isn't what our days would consist of. I'm hit with a sudden burst of sadness because New York is a whole different place for us. Keegan's work is there, and it's stressful and the hours are long. Our worlds are so different, and there's Gretchen. She is the source of the beginning of the end.

What exactly is her role in James Architecture? If Keegan and Kaleb own a quarter of the company each, does that mean she owns half? What lengths would she go to in order get what she wants? My head is filled with all these questions, and I'm too afraid to even bring it up. Is this even a conversation we should have? The only reason we are here together at the moment is because he's forced himself on me. I had barely time to process what exactly happened at the party.

Then again, he could be anywhere, but he's here, for me. As much as I want him gone, I also want him here; it makes me a hypocrite, because just one look and heartfelt gesture has me wanting to forgive it all.

I'd rather concentrate on why I'm here, to take care of my dad. The less I think about these things, the better. My head is finally getting through to my heart.

Chapter Ten

Since returning home from the store with Keegan, I've been trying to avoid him. I can really use some space right now, to get my head together so I can actually focus. I think he got the hint after the third time he asked me if I needed help and I politely told him no thanks without making eye contact.

While taking care of laundry I receive a text from Liam.

I hear your dad is going to be ok. Hoping you are as well.

I return his text.

I'm fine. I'm sorry about what happened at the party.

He responds immediately.

No I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said the things I said. I was just shocked. I know you have a lot going on and I'm going back to Cali in the AM. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you. If you need anything just let me know.

This probably is a conversation we should be having in person, but at the moment that's not an option. I'm pretty sure this is his way of making things right and I have a feeling Reese may have had a hand in this.

Thank you I appreciate that. I hope you have a safe trip home. Take care of yourself.

I leave things short and cordial. I don't know when I'll see him again and I'm not sure if he expected things to be more romantic between us. Clearly, that's not an option right now. It never really was, when I was with Keegan. My feelings toward Liam will always be friendship now, because I realize that he was just filling a space that was empty. He was hoping for more and honestly, so was I.

When I enter my dad's room to put his laundry away, I find Keegan with him. They are watching ESPN and talking sports. I don't look over while I put the clothes in my dad's dresser. After I'm finished, I walk over and smile at my dad.

"You doing all right? You need anything?" I ask him. I can feel Keegan's eyes on me, and I catch my dad looking between us, giving me a concerned look.

"I'm okay," my dad responds. I straighten up a little around his room. As I'm walking out, Keegan stops me.

"You stay. I'll start dinner, and you can relax."

I nod, and he grabs my hand, giving it a little tug. It's a relief that he's not pushing or teasing me. It seems he's giving me what I need. I'm tired and I prop myself up against the headboard. I stare at the TV, but I can still feel Keegan's gentle touch on my hand.

"We can change it to something else. I know this bores you."

"This is fine, it doesn't bore me," I lie, but I'm sure whatever I chose would bore him. I'm not the one laid up in bed.

"Sure it doesn't." He knows me too well.

"Maybe a little, but it's fine. I'm just happy spending time with you."

"So, what's going on with you and junior?" He's perceptive, and maybe I should give it more effort, but it's way more difficult being around him than I imagined.

"We are fine, Dad."

He looks at me and I'm guessing he's trying to gauge my reaction to his question.

"You keep saying you're fine, it's fine, yet there is something that's not."

"It's just been a rough few days. I just need a good night's rest, and for you to get better." My eyes become heavy and right before they shut for good, a soft blanket is pulled over me. I just need a quick ten-minute nap and then I'll help with dinner.

When I wake, I'm curled into a ball, but I feel like I've slept forever. I look at the clock and I've slept for three hours, yet I can't move because my body has been in a deep sleep for way too long. I hear footsteps and close my eyes and pretend I'm sleeping. I'm way too groggy to talk at the moment.

"Can I get you anything?" It's Keegan's deep voice I hear.

There is movement on the bed next to me, which must be my dad.

"No, I'm good, and thank you for making dinner. I'm impressed that you learned to cook so well, and it's so much better than hospital food."

"My mom taught Kaleb and me when we moved into our own apartment after college. I think she was afraid we would starve. She was horrified when she learned that we were living on ramen noodles."

"Well, she wouldn't be your mother if she wasn't still taking care of you well into you two being adults."

"True. She still sends care packages with her Rice Krispies treats."

Poor Keegan's mother has empty nest syndrome. I can imagine how difficult it was, letting go of her boys, especially given how close they were as a family. It was why I loved spending time with them.

"Has she even moved?" Keegan asks my dad.

"I'm pretty sure she's dead to the world."

See, this is where I wake up and tell them I've been awake for the last five minutes, but I don't. I just listen closer.

"You know she's worried about you; she's not going to want to leave you." Clearly they are going to be talking about me.