Resisting Pressure (Rhinestone Cowgirls Book 5) (13 page)

“More than anything,” she murmured.

“Some of the best decisions are the hardest to make.”

Molly brought her chin up. “He said if we ever left he’d hunt us down, no matter how far we go,” she whispered.

Anger washed over Violet. She remembered once she was told the same thing by a boy who thought he could do anything he wanted and get by with it. “And if you go back, will he not hit you again? Will Sam be safe?”

Molly looked down at her son. A tear fell off her cheek and landed on Sam’s chubby hand. “I-I don’t think he’ll ever stop using his fists.”

“We can get you help. We can call the sheriff.”

Her head came up fast. “No Sheriff.”

“Okay, then. No sheriff.”

“Where will I go? I have nowhere.” Sadness crept over her young, but old, features.

“You can stay here. There’s plenty of space and I know my sister Ruby will welcome you with open arms.”

“I can’t impose. I got the baby and all.”

“You won’t be. Ruby has a son, he’s two. He’s with his dad right now while Ruby plans her wedding.”

“Wedding?” Molly asked.

“Ruby and Jobe are getting married next month.” Violet touched Sam’s head of black hair. He was adorable.

“I’ve always like the Walters clan. Cal says they are good bosses, the best.” For the first time she smiled and it was genuine. “Beautiful here too.”

“Then will you stay?” Violet would put her up into a hotel if needed, but Molly was safer here, among people and she would get the encouragement she needed.

Molly looked across the yard to where Cal leaned against the front of his truck. “I don’t think I have a choice.”

Violet sighed. “Honey, you always have a choice, but it’s got to be your decision. Maybe this was the little push you needed to see that things aren’t safe at your farm.”

“Thank you, Violet. I’m embarrassed.”

“You don’t need to be. You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not your burden to bear.” And as the words left her lips, they hit home, right where Violet kept her own secret, carried it like a heavy weight in her soul.

Eventually, she too would have to make hard decisions.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“Don’t look at me like that, Violet.”

She stood on the step of Keefer’s cabin, her fists on hips and her chin tilted. “Look at you like what? Feeling guilty are you?”

He kicked open the door further. “At least come in before you scold me.”

She sashayed her way in but that sweet sway of hips didn’t hide the fact that she carried anger in her expression. “I thought you and I agreed not to tell Cal what we found regarding Molly?”

Keefer shut the door. “No, you
told
me not to tell him. He’s my friend and he had every right to know that his bastard of a brother-in-law is abusing his sister. I’d want to know and if one of your sisters was in trouble, you’d want to also.”

“I understand, I do, but I had hoped we could sit down and discuss things with Cal. What happened today could have been a lot worse.”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t know that Cal went over to his sister’s and demanded that she pack a bag for her and Sam? He brought them here. What if Charles Peterson had been home?”

He shook his head. “Didn’t have a clue. We had an incident with a horse that kept me busy most of the day.”

“An incident?”

“Nothing that’s not taken care of now.” He crossed his arms. “Molly is here with the baby?”

“Staying with Ruby and Jobe.”

“Are they okay with that?”

“Of course. Ruby and Sapphire are spoiling Sam now. I do believe we all feel the tug on our empty uteruses.”

“Yeah, I—wait, what?” He finally realized what she’d said.

“Oops. I said that out loud, didn’t I?” His eyes glazed over.

“Yes you did. You’re thinking about having a baby?” His gut tightened,

“Doesn’t everyone think about it a time or two? No plans in the works so relax.”

He walked into the open kitchen and took out a beer from the mini refrigerator. “Want something to drink?”

She shook her head. “No.”

He uncapped the bottle and took a long drink. That’s as close as he’d ever gotten to discussing children and sweat beaded on his forehead. “I’m glad Molly is there. She needed to get the hell away from her husband.”

“I guess so.” Violet took a seat on the chair in front of the fireplace.

He blinked, setting his bottle down with a thud on the counter. “Why are you totally against this?”

“I’m not.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“You don’t understand, Keefer. We can’t force someone who has been through what she’s experienced to do something she doesn’t want to, or is not ready for. This can’t be easy for her.”

Keefer sighed. “No, I don’t understand. I guess I can’t wrap my head around the idea that a man could ever lay a hand—one finger—on a woman and hurt her. The only alternative is for her to stay with the bastard where not only is she not safe, but the baby isn’t safe either. Really, what this comes down to is her safety above what she wants. I think what Cal did was the right thing.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Coming from someone who has never experienced violence, easy for you to preach on the subject.”

“Damn, Violet, you above everyone should know my childhood wasn’t all cupcakes and sprinkles. I wish I had someone come along who gave a shit and ripped me out of some of those foster homes.”

“I know. You’re right. I too wish you’d had a different childhood.”

He took three steps toward her, stopping. “What is it, Violet? Have you been in an abusive relationship?” If she had, he wasn’t sure what he’d do.

Her bottom lip quivered. “This has nothing to do with me.”

“No, it doesn’t, but you sure seem invested. I want to know what happened to you in the past. I have the right to know.”

She jumped up, holding her chin high. “The right? What gives you the right to dissect my life or put the pieces together like a puzzle?”

“You just don’t get it do you?” He could feel the chains breaking inside of him, one link, then two, until they all weakened. “I care for you. A whole lot more than you can grasp.”

Several expressions flashed over her face, until a cold laugh broke through the room. “You care about me? That’s hilarious.”

“I’m glad you find this so funny.”

“We have sex a few times and suddenly you think you deserve to know everything?”

He scrubbed his jaw, not liking where this was heading. He could see the moisture building in her eyes and his gut tightened. If she cried, he’d lose it too. He had to stay strong. “I don’t deserve to know anything. I had only hoped that what we shared yesterday was more than a good time fuck.”

Her shoulders shook, tears fell to her cheeks and she turned. She dashed toward the door. He was quicker and put his hand on the knob to stop her.  “I’m leaving. Move.”

“Not like this, Violet. You don’t have to tell me anything, but just calm down. I can’t stand to see you like this,” he murmured.

She laid her forehead on the door, the shaking leaving her body, but she didn’t move. He removed his hand and took a step back. “I have all of these feelings rushing through me and then suddenly I come to a hurdle. I don’t know whether I should turn around or jump over it. You caring for me, well, every possible hurdle one can imagine has popped up in front of me.”

“I’m sorry if that ruins your day, week, or month, but it’s too late. The heart’s involved.” It took a lot for him to say those words, but he was tired of hiding from the truth.

She turned, pressing her back against the wall, looking at him with red rimmed eyes. “I’ll tell you things about me—things only a few know, and I fear you’ll never look at me the same. I couldn’t have you looking at me with pity.”

“Let’s not play that game, sweetheart. Don’t fish for things or reasons to run. If you don’t want this, me, then let’s just leave it well enough alone. But I will tell you that I’m not the monster here.”

“I am?” Her voice shook.

“That’s not what I meant. Whatever you’re hiding is the monster.”

“I should explain then, right. Go big or go home.”

He tore his hand through his hair, wishing he could hold her but knowing she would push him away.

“In my freshman year of college I met a boy, a senior. He was charming, smart and handsome. I was naïve and stupid, learning my way in school and thought how lucky I was that this attractive doctor-to-be wanted anything to do with me.”  

He could see all warmth leaving her, exchanging for something cold.

“One evening he asked me to his room, just to hang out he said. Gullible, like I said, I went. Then I found myself waking up the next morning naked in his bed with a hangover like none other.”

“Violet, you were young. It’s college. A lot of kids do things they later regret.”

She shook her head, sending her hair out of the bun. “No, you don’t understand. I didn’t remember having sex with him. I drank one beer, that’s all.” There was the moisture in her eyes again but she blinked and it was gone.

Keefer rolled his head around what she was saying. “He drugged you?” His throat burned with the words.

She wrapped her arms around her waist. “I think so.”

“What did you do?”

“I confronted him. At first he denied that’s what he did, said I only slept in his bed and nothing happened, but I knew because I had the evidence on my body. When I threatened to go to the police, he became cold, mean, and warned me that if I did, I’d regret it.”

“Those were only words.” Every muscle on his body coiled, like a rattlesnake ready to bite. He got a close glimpse at what Cal must have been feeling. This was a dangerous emotion.

“No. He had taped us, and what hadn’t been consensual sex, looked very consensual. I knew I couldn’t prove anything.” Her voice cracked.

“Did you get a blood test? The date rape drug lasts in your system for what? A day or two?”

“Depends on which drug he used. There’s a time frame of twelve to seventy two hours.”

“Then you took the test?” He tried to remain calm.

“He warned me if I did anything he’d make sure my reputation was ruined. I was young. Seeing hope where there wasn’t any.”

He went to her, dragged her into his arms and held her head in his palm. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It wasn’t your fault. You did what you had to do.” She started to relax and just when he thought the dam would break and her emotions would flow, she pushed into his chest and he backed up.

“Stop. I’m not finished. I was so upset, angry and hurt over that situation until I finally couldn’t feel anything but anger. I slept with men. I used them just as I’d felt like I’d been used. You see, that’s who I am. I can’t get close to you or anyone. I find men who aren’t very nice, just so I don’t have to worry about emotions, until now.”

“It’s the past, Violet. You’re afraid.”

She laughed but there was no humor. “Right. I’m scared to death of having any emotion. I live in shame for what’s happened, what I’ve done. I went home after what he did to me and Crystal saw me, begged me to explain until I finally did. She then begged me to go to the police, but it was too late for the testing then. I blamed myself for going to his room. I shouldn’t have made it easy for him.”

He reached out, but she dodged his touch. “You said I wouldn’t still care for you after you told me. You were wrong.”

“This is too much for me right now.”

She backed toward the door, blindly reaching for the knob. He wanted to ask her to stay, but she said just moments ago, no one could make anyone do something they didn’t want to do. She had fight or flight written all over her face, and he certainly wouldn’t fight with her.

“Right now I need to be alone. I need to get my thoughts in order.” The door came open and she stepped outside. “I didn’t mean to tell you like this. I-I couldn’t hold it in.”

And then she was gone.

He plopped down onto the chair and calmed his breathing. He’d known something lurked in her past, and as harmful as it was, he didn’t regret that she’d told him. Every cell in his body urged him to run after her, tell her it’d be okay, but the logical side to him knew he had no choice but to give her time. She had just opened a part of her that she’d sealed long ago and she needed to come to terms with the fact that she had. Would she also see that he wasn’t the one who ran? He hoped she’d realize that he had no plans of running either. She’d been hurt by a coward years ago, one that deserved a dose of his own medicine, and she’d punished herself long enough.

He leaned back into the chair and sighed. He hoped in time she would see just where his heart was.

****

Violet and Molly were sitting on the porch drinking lemonade while Sam was asleep inside of the house. It’d been three days since she’d left home, and the same amount of time since Violet had seen Keefer.

After telling him about her past, she’d taken a long drive, gathering her thoughts before they suffocated her. She didn’t regret telling him the truth, but she regretted how she’d told him. He’d said he cared for her and she’d used her past against him as leverage. She had been so wrapped up in her own emotions and anger that she hadn’t stopped to think that he didn’t deserve her blast of temper.

She loved him, but she needed time and since he hadn’t even tried to approach her, she thought maybe her plan had worked. His feelings had changed for her. No man wanted to hear that the woman he loved had slept with many men, not out of love, but for a salve to her internal wounds. It had taken her a long time to understand that. However, as she looked back on her sex life, she had never enjoyed it, until Keefer came along.

Looking at Molly, Violet realized the girl needed to hear that she wasn’t alone. It was time Violet faced her own demons before she started dismembering someone else’s.

So, Violet told the younger woman what had happened in the past.

“I’m glad you told me, Violet.” The bruising on Molly’s face was healing quickly. “I’m sorry it occurred, but you have come so far. I realize that I’m better off without Charles.”

“Don’t use me as an example of what to do though, honey. If something wrong happens to us, we have to get help. What Charles did to you was wrong. You deserve better and any man that loves you, really loves you, would never hurt you the way Charles has. I might not be the best person to give you advice, but you need to stay away from him. Stay away before Sam is hurt.”

“I could never let anything happen to my son.”

“I know you wouldn’t.” Violet stood up. “I’ll go and grab us another lemonade.” She took the glasses, headed inside and into the kitchen. Ruby, Jobe, and Jack were in town and the place was quiet. Cal had stopped earlier to see Molly and Sam but wouldn’t be back until later in the evening.

She filled each glass with ice then poured lemonade in. She heard a loud engine coming up the driveway, followed by the slamming of the screen door. She hurried out of the kitchen to see who it was and found Molly holding Sam against her chest, huddled by the staircase. The fearful girl had wide eyes and pale features. “What is it, Molly?”

She slowly lifted her hand, pointing at the door.

Violet looked out in time to see the rusty old pick up hauling ass up the lane, kicking up clouds of dust in its wake. “Is that Charles?” Not hearing an answer, she turned and found Molly as pale as a ghost. She didn’t need to hear her answer. Violet stepped out on the porch just as a man with an olive complexion and blonde hair stepped from the truck. Once he saw her standing there, a smirk crossed his lips. “Well, well…we’ve never met. I’m Charles Peterson.”