Resisting Perfection (The Perfection Series Book 2) (16 page)

Chapter Eleven

Piper

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, sitting us both on the grass.

“The last time I was here was right before my mother died,” I admit, watching my fingers follow the seam of my swimming suit. “She was so happy, even when she was so sick. She wouldn’t let us be sad for her. She told us the last memories she wanted to leave us were going to be happy memories. I don’t know how she was so strong for us. Most of the time she was so weak but that never stopped her, she still put us first. I miss her so much, Shane and being here makes the pain real.” He pulls me in as the tears begin falling in more of a steady stream.

“We can go back to the house, if you want?”

“No, it’s ok. I’ll be fine,” I say, pulling away from him and wiping my eyes with the back of my hands. “You really want to make me feel better?”

“Of course, Pipe.”

“Let’s play a game of horse shoes.”

“You do know I’m the horse shoe master, right?” he cocks his eyebrow in question.

“I don’t know that because I am,” I counter.

“Well, I guess we’re getting ready to find out.”

I’m so excited. I haven’t played in years but this has to be one of my favorite games.

“Ok, let’s nail down the rules, first,” he says, adding, “Ringers are three points. Non-ringers will give the closest person two points.”

“That’s it?” I ask.

“What do you mean? Yes. What else would give you points?”

“I forgot you haven’t played with my family. Hitting the post, creating a ding but not a ringer, gives you a half a point.” He stares at me trying to figure out if I’m serious. “I’m serious, Shane.”

“Ok, I guess,” he laughs.

We pick up our shoes and throw to see who goes first. His shoes make it the closest to the post, damn it.

“Haha! I’m first, Pipe. Prepare to be dominated.”

“Whatever, just throw the damn shoes.”

“Awe, Pipe. Don’t be such a sore loser.” When I don’t respond, he throws his first shoe. He misses wide to the left and it takes everything in me not to point and laugh. It’s a good thing I refrained because the next shoe he throws rings it. Damn it!

“Your turn, good luck,” he winks as he sits in the grass to watch.

Before I throw my first shoe, I have to do my lucky spin of the shoe. I grab the first shoe and flip it end over end, landing back at the end I started with. I take a couple practice swings as it’s been years since I’ve played. Once I feel comfortable with the shoe in my hand, I flip it down the yard toward the other post. I’m excited as its flying straight toward the post but when one of the ends hits the ground first, it spirals out of control and flies right towards Shane. His arm flies up in front of his face to block it but not in time. The shoe grazes his lip and flies behind him.

“Oh my God!” I scream as I run over to him.

“I’m fine,” he says with blood running down his chin.

“You are not. Let’s get you back to the house so we can clean this up.”

He stands taking my hand in one of his while the other stays on his lip.

“I’m so sorry, Shane. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Of course you did,” he says.

“You’re right, I did. However, I was hoping I would have got somewhere a little more sensitive.”

“You just hit me in the lip, remember? And you’re being feisty with me?” he questions.

“Let’s just get back to the house so I can check out that lip.”

We walk hand in hand all the way back to the house when something occurs to me.

“Are you even allowed to be out of the state?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just got out of jail. I don’t know how that process works but I don’t want you to get picked up for something as silly as being out of the state.”

“No, I’m good.”

“Ok. “

I prepare myself for a lecture once my father notices Shane’s bleeding face as he’ll immediately know what happened. He always tells us to be sure when the other player is throwing their shoe to be stand away from the post. I was so busy trying to throw the perfect shoe I didn’t notice how close he was sitting.

When we walk in the house and head to the bathroom in my room, I realize my father isn’t home. I don’t know when he left but I thought he mentioned he was going to be here all afternoon then we were going to dinner with Elizabeth. At least I’ve gotten out of the tongue lashing.

“Have a seat. I need to grab some cotton pads and peroxide from the hall closet.” He salutes me before sitting on the commode. I grab my supplies and he’s waiting patiently with his arms crossed on his lap when I return. I smile as he looks like a child waiting on the doctor to tell him his fate.

“Dr. Adams, give it to me straight. Am I going to live?”

“Well, I don’t know. That all depends on if you’re a good boy and hold still while I clean this out.”

“Is it going to hurt because I don’t handle pain well?”

“It won’t hurt, it’s only cold,” I repeat the words my mother used with us when we were little. I examine his lip and looks like his tooth pierced the inside while the shoe busted the outside. By the amount of swelling and blood pouring from his lip, you would think it was a deep gash. However, once I begin cleaning the blood away with the warm cloth, I find the cuts to be very small.

“Ouch,” he says as I lightly dab the cloth over the cuts.

“Oh, quit being such a baby. This will be over in a minute. If you would have sat farther away from the post this wouldn’t have even happened.”

“You’re kidding right now right?”

“No,” I say simply.

“You throw the shoe like a crazy woman, bouncing it all over the place, hitting me in the face and this is my fault?” he asks, laughing incredulously.

I believe this is the perfect time to clean his wound. Pouring some peroxide on the cotton, I dab it on the outside of his lip just as he stops talking but before he realizes what I’m doing.

“Ahh! Warn me next time, Piper,” he screams as I hold the cotton to his lip.

“Don’t call me a crazy woman.”

“Excuse me but you didn’t see the intent look on your face just before you flung that shoe like no one’s business. I’ll admit, if that made a ringer, it would’ve been impressive. Especially given all the prep you put into,” he smirks and I can tell he’s suppressing the full laughter. What a jackass.

“Just for that, you can take care of your own damn lip.” I toss the cotton on the counter and walk back in the bedroom, plopping down on my bed.

“Hey, I was kidding. I’m not sure which look I love the most. That sexy determined to kick my ass look or this pouting thing you have going on right now. I’d be one hell of a lucky man if I could have both.”

He pulls me up from the bed and brings my body flush with his. Alarm bells begin chiming as he begins pushing my hair behind my ear. Before I realize what’s happening, his lips meet the skin of my neck, just below my ear. As much as I want to fight him, the electricity that is pulsing through me won’t allow me to speak, I can only feel. I can only feel one of his hands running across the skin of my lower back while the other keeps my hair away from my neck so he has free range. I can only feel my body begin to tingle as his lips move from the side of my neck back to my lips. His hands move from my back so he can cup my face bringing us as close as humanly possible.

“You’re so beautiful, Piper Adams.”

I’m immobilized from his touch as his hands are taking my body hostage. It wants to back away, it wants to scream stop, but it can’t. His touch feels spectacular; reminding me how much I need it. But my body is a traitor because it’s not his touch I crave.

“Don’t fight this, Piper. I know you want this.”

Hearing him voice my inner turmoil allows my weakened state to revive. The one promise I made myself this weekend was that I would clear my head, I would find myself. Allowing this to happen is wrong.

“I can’t,” I say, pushing him away from me. I climb back on my bed, wrap myself around my pillow and begin to wallow in guilt as I almost lost touch of reality and made the biggest mistake of my life.

“Fuck, Piper. What do I have to do to make you want me?” He screams, throwing his arms in the air.

“You’d have to be Fenton,” I whisper. His hands find their home on his hips as he stares a hole through me. I have to stare at the wall as I can’t witness the hurt in his eyes.

“Right,” he says, walking out of my room, slamming the door behind him. It only takes a few seconds before the warmth begins seeping from my eyes.

Fenton

“I’m going to fucking kill you, Decker!”

The deep cuts on my wrists from these fucking ropes are his one way ticket to an ass beating. Anger continues seeping out of me when I hear his deep laughter outside the door. Alright Fenton, you got this. Sitting here all fucking day trying to regain my strength has been torture but now all I can think about is getting out of these bounds and getting out of here. Piper, Cam and my unborn child have been front and center of my dreams all day and the sooner I get out of here, the sooner I can make sure they are ok.

My unborn child…

Fuck! Don’t think about that right now. Just focus on getting out of here and getting to them all. I try to wiggle my wrists again and am excited when the bounds seem to be a little looser than the last time. My left hand, which is on bottom, is able to slide down a little further before I have to stop because the rope is burning the hell out of the deep cuts.

The sweat is pouring off me. For the first time, the lack of drugs in my system is finally getting to me. I haven’t had a bump or a drop of alcohol in what seems like forever. The pain seeps into my bones and the shaking is making it increasingly difficult to try to focus on getting out of these bounds. I stop and try to regain my composure.

              “Are you happy?” I scream to whoever is watching me struggle while being caged and going through withdrawals. The only plus to this situation is Piper doesn’t have to watch me go through this. I would hate to have to wean myself off this shit in front of her or for her to have to deal with my attitude.

“Fuck!” I don’t know why she sticks around because I’m not really worth it. I can’t be who she wants me to be, I can’t keep her safe and now I’m having a child with another woman. Doesn’t matter, once I tell her that gem, she is going to be gone. She’s probably better off. She needs someone who can devote their whole life to her. She needs someone who can give her the family she deserves.

Then there’s Cam, who has stood by me for far too long. She should have kicked my ass to the curb a long time ago. I used her. Just as I poured the drugs in my body to keep me going, I used her body for what I wanted and then moved on. It’s been a long time since I took her feelings into consideration. She was my friend who helped with the bar, not the girl who has helped me walk through so many bad situations, the girl I once cared for. She’s the only person who ever visited me when I was in jail. She’s the person who was there when I was released; waiting to take me back to her house to fix me a good home cooked meal. How do I thank her? I use her. I used her for a place to stay until Pap died and he left me his house. I used her for a piece of ass when the selection at the bar wasn’t what I wanted. If that isn’t bad enough, now she is pregnant with my child and I’m with another woman.  I will always take care of my child but Cam deserves better, too.

“Surprise, playboy,” Decker says and my heart drops when he comes walking in the door with Cam. He flings her in the room and she hits the ground pretty hard.

“She’s pregnant you son of a bitch!” He doesn’t respond but if I’m not mistaken a glimpse of remorse appears. He looks from me to Cam and I think he may have something to say but he only walks out of the room.

“Are you ok?” I ask her, worried about the baby.             

“I think so. I tried to pad my fall with my hands. Are you ok? How long have you been here?”

“I’ll be better if you can untie my hands? Are you ok to stand?”

“Yeah but give me a second.” She moves her hands out to her sides and moves her legs from the criss-crossed position and pushes herself up. After she’s up, she stands still a second to gain her composure.

“Ok?” I ask, feeling a little nervous.

“Yeah, just give me a minute,” she replies, clearly aggravated. Anxiety takes over when she doesn’t move again for a few minutes. She stands there with her eyes closed and each passing seconds feels like a lifetime. I want to go to her and tell her everything will be ok. I want to gravel at her feet for the way I left things between us when she first told me about the baby. But I can’t because I’m stuck to this fucking chair. Fuck! I need to be out of these bounds.

“Cam, I know you’re aggravated with me but I need you to let me know you’re ok.”

She remains quiet. Silence is the devil. When all I want is for her voice to let me know she’s ok, she isn’t speaking. I need to hear the words leave her lips. I need to know my baby is ok. When I can’t take the silence anymore, I begin trying to free my wrists again. The burning returns immediately but I can take a little pain if it means making sure Cam is alright. Finally, after about three minutes her eyes open but her hands moves to her stomach.

“Cam, you’re killing me. Talk to me.”

“I…I think I’m ok. I was just really dizzy for a minute and felt like I was going to be sick.” She takes a few ginger steps and stops again, inhaling deeply, then continues walking toward me. Finally, she’s able to walk behind me and begins untying my hands.

“Fenton your hands are bleeding.”

“How did they get a hold of you, Cam?” I ask, completely disregarding her statement.

“Decker came to talk to me. He wanted to know where you were. I explained I would probably never see you again after our last conversation. He felt sorry for me and asked if I wanted to have lunch and catch up. I thought it would be nice to talk to an old friend. Since you two were partners, he and I were always close. I needed to talk to someone, someone who would be completely biased to the situation. Whether you want to believe it, he knows you better than anyone, so I knew he would tell me like it is when it comes to how you would be as a friend and as a father. So, I agreed. We never made it to lunch. He didn’t even try to feed me a line when he wasn’t driving toward the restaurant we agreed on. I knew what was going on. I didn’t try to fight him or scream. Knowing Decker, it wouldn’t yield any results anyway.

“From the moment you mentioned Geno’s name last night, I knew, without a doubt, he was behind all of this. Who else has the means to execute a hit on someone and then victimize the bar? I never dreamed he would do something like this to you, Fent. You were the golden child of the club. You could have killed one of Geno’s children and I don’t think he would have cared. That’s how much he loved you Fenton. So, for him to do something like this to you, surprises the hell out of me.”

She’s right and that very thought went through my head more than once. I didn’t want to believe it was him, that’s why I waited to go to the house as long as I did. In the end, I know its all business. Of course, what business deal of his I crossed to deserve this, I’ve no idea.

“So do you know where we are?”

“No. He made me put a mask on when we were driving. I know we were still downtown when I put it on but we drove around for what seemed like forever before we stopped.”

“Did you hear anything that could help us determine where we are?

“No, damn it! I wish I did. I was too scared to have a cognitive thought let alone be aware enough to listen for clues.”

“That’s understandable, Cam. I’m just glad you’re ok.”

Relief washes over me when my arms fall to my sides. I stand and pull Cam to me. Her arms wrap around my waist and all I want is to keep her close to me until the baby is born. My heart leapt out of my chest not knowing whether she and the baby were ok. Watching her fight through whatever it was that was happening and not being able to help her was the most difficult situation I’ve ever had to endure. How I am going to make it through this pregnancy is beyond me. My baby is going to be safe. I will stop at nothing to make sure that happens.

“I’m sorry, Cam,” I whisper. “I know I acted like an ass when you told me about the baby. You know the childhood I had and when you said those words to me, everything that had ever happened in my life flashed before me and I won’t allow that for our child.”

“I won’t pretend it didn’t break my heart to watch you walk out that door. When I first found out, I wanted to tell you immediately. But when I went to the doctor, she told me if I were going to miscarry it would likely happen in the first trimester. So, I decided to wait. I thought I would wait and make it some big surprise. I planned on making it so memorable. We would be at the pond or watching the sunset from your balcony. I had this crazy dream I would tell you and we were so happy together and we got married before the baby was due. Then, a couple weeks before I planned to tell you, you started dating Piper.” She chuckles before continuing, “I gave it a few days. I know how you operate. You meet a girl, sleep with her and then you’re finished with her. But she challenged you and for someone who is used to woman falling at their feet on a nightly basis, she caught your attention. Even still, I knew she would finally fall for you and when she did you would come back to me. Then you became jealous and very possessive of her, that’s when I started to worry. I’ve never known you to be that way with any other woman. Not even me. I mentioned that to Jay and he thought I was crazy. I think his exact words were ‘Fenton James doesn’t get jealous, he gets another girl.’ I agreed with him then but now I realize I should’ve listened to my gut. I didn’t. I still hoped you would come back to me. So, my grand reveal which should have been a happy night between two expecting parents turned into a night filled with tears and regret.”

“I don’t regret anything, Cam. I know I handled the news the wrong way and I’m sorry. But I don’t regret any time we shared and I don’t regret that we are going to be parents. Am I scared? Hell yes. But do I regret it? Not at all.”

“You’ll understand if I don’t believe that.”

“I don’t know how to be a father, Cam. I don’t know how to be a nice person most of the time let alone raise a tiny baby that is completely dependent on me. When you told me I was going to be a father, it scared the shit out of me. Think about it. Someone opened fire in the bar today and almost killed you. Everyone around me seems to be in danger and now you’re telling me we’re bringing a baby into our madness. I flipped. I’m sorry, I know that wasn’t the best reaction but I was shocked.”

“You don’t think I’m scared? I don’t know the first thing about being a mother. I was an only child to a mother who made me prostitute myself out to pay the rent. How am I supposed to teach a child about life, Fent? Huh? Tell me how WE, the two most fucked up people in the world, are supposed to raise a child?”

Without answering her, I kneel and rest my forehead on her stomach wrapping my arms around her waist. Tears stain my cheeks at the thought of my child growing inside her.

“We’ll make it, Cam. We have no other choice.”

“You know, if we make it out of this ordeal alive, I worry Piper will be waiting with open arms and that will leave me to raise this child on my own.” Her sobs are coming faster now and her tears are flowing like the pond that runs through my woods.

Piper. How am I ever going tell Piper?

“As long as Piper will have me we will be together, Cam. Just know I will always take care of our child, no matter who I am with.”

“What if she doesn’t want anything to do with you? Am I supposed to continue letting you back in time after time? Look where that’s brought us. I can’t do it anymore, Fenton. I can’t. I’m sick to death of crying myself to sleep every night wondering if you are coming back to me.”

Her tears break my heart but her words slice it to shreds. I pull her back to me to try to comfort her again. This time she resists and back pedals to the wall, sliding down once she reaches it.

“I’m sorry, Cam. I don’t know what you want me to say. Piper and I were together when all of this started. What would you have done if none of this would have happened? Would you still have expected me to leave Piper? I don’t mean to be harsh but Cam don’t you think that’s a little unrealistic?”

“At least if you’re with her, she’ll make sure you have something to do with your child.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, a little aggravated by her comment.

“You’re a mess Fenton James and for the life of me, I don’t know how she did it. I’ve known you for thirteen years and I’ve never made you as happy as you are with her. I don’t have what it takes to show you what you have to offer or to help you believe you don’t need the drugs and alcohol to make it through the day. But it’s only a matter of time, even with her happiness you’ll need the drugs and the alcohol, that’s just what makes you tick. She will make you happy for a while but you’ll grow tired of her. You always do. But I don’t care about your relationship with her, I care about our child. The child we created when you came to me, as you always do, because you feel safe with me. Whether you want to admit it or not, we created this child out of love. A love I’m certain our child will never see. Especially since it will never know about our past or how we met. He or she will not be subjected to our old lifestyle. I refuse to put it through the hell we went through. So, when you leave her, and you will leave her, and revert back to your old ways, you’ll have nothing more to do with your child. Please keep that in mind.”

“Wow! You sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself.”

“Don’t fucking guilt trip me, Fenton. I’ve had it up to here with your shit,” she says, gesturing to her chin.

“I will just have to show you I’ve changed. I can stand here and tell you all day I’m not the guy I used to be but you won’t believe me. I’m sorry you’re upset we didn’t make it. I’m sorry, too. But we were only meant to be friends and I’m happy every day I know you and you’re in my life. You’re going to make a great mother to our child and I can’t wait to begin this journey with you...and hopefully Piper.”