Resisting Her Rival (12 page)

In his hand, Nick held a dandelion. He blew on the seeds and then captured them in his palm . “What your mom said was true. I found you.” Taking her hand, he passed her the seeds. A breeze stirred, lifting the seeds up into the air. His smile slowly faded, and he eased forward across the blanket to put his hand at the back of her neck. With gentle pressure, he pulled her toward him until their lips met.

Abby kissed him back.
Forget the building. Forget the fear. I just want this one moment in time. This one kiss, this one embrace.

“Abby, I think I’m—”

She put her hand on his lips. “No. Let’s finish our lunch and just enjoy this time, okay?” Her foolish, traitor heart was racing toward Nick, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Chapter Thirteen

The sense of foreboding Nick had experienced at the beginning of their trip returned that evening when he helped Abby step up into the horse-drawn carriage. She’d acted different ever since their picnic.

“It’s beautiful,” she said as she trailed her hand across the curved design.

The top of the carriage was down, revealing the burgundy velvet seat against the whiteness of the carriage body. When he first saw the driver clad in formalwear and sporting a black top hat, Nick thought it was a little much. But then he remembered the carriage was used mainly for honeymooners.
Will I end up in that position? On a honeymoon?
He couldn’t picture ever— He glanced at Abby. Swallowed hard.

“There’s a beautiful route I usually take the honeymooners along through the center of town. We’ll circle around and come to an old wooden bridge with a creek running under it. Most of the people I drive stop there and take some photographs,” the driver announced.

Before Abby could explain they weren’t honeymooners, Nick said, “That sounds like a great idea. Pictures on the bridge, don’t you think so, honey?”

“Of course, dear,” she said drily.

The horses slowly led the way toward town. When they crossed into the main road, the driver said, “Ah, they’ve turned on the lights.”

Nick watched Abby’s gaze turn toward the light poles on either side of the street. Each pole had a double circle light globe with tiny Christmas lights twined around the bases. These were lit and cast a glow over the street.

The driver led the carriage over several streets until they came to one with trees that joined together over the road. He slowed and looked over his shoulder. “Bridge is just up ahead.”

Nick looked out Abby’s side of the carriage. From their vantage point, he could see the shallow creek as it gurgled over rocks in various shapes and sizes. When the carriage came to a stop, Nick jumped out first and then reached up for Abby. He closed his hands around her waist and swung her easily to the ground.

She stayed still for a second, her hands on his forearms, her cheeks flushed from the ride. Abby Snyder. The woman he was falling in love with. The thought rocked Nick to the core. He didn’t know when him liking her had leaked into this stronger turn-hell-inside-out-if-she-needed-him-to feeling.

Giving him a quizzical glance, she stepped aside and headed to the bridge. In the light tan capri pants she’d purchased earlier and the emerald green top, she was a vision. His future. He hoped. He felt nervous. Unsure. Everything around him seemed different. He needed to tell her the truth—that he’d sought out a relationship with her to help his reputation. But he was afraid that would push her away.

“C’mon, we don’t have much light,” Abby said. She waited until he neared and slipped an arm around his waist. She leaned her head closer to him.

Nick’s stomach muscles tightened at the touch. The warmth of her body against his was both sweet and bitter. She didn’t know how he felt. What would her reaction be? Every sense was magnified. Everything hung in the balance.

Extending her arm, she held her phone away from them and took a photo. “Hang on. One more.” After she took the photo, she texted something and then hit send.

“What was that about?”

“Just sharing a copy with Sue.”

“Nice. Making sure you send it to Sue, who in turn will show it to Oscar so that you stay on his mind for the building, huh?”

“Of course.” She tucked her phone into her pocket.

When she was done, Nick took her hand. Holding her hand felt right, and he knew exactly why. It belonged there. Now if only she would realize that.

…

Back at the room, Abby took a shower, and when she left the steamy bathroom, champagne and the chocolate-covered strawberries rested on a table by the bed. She looked at them and then at Nick. “Oh no. I have no intention of getting drunk and serenading you.”

Nick took the pajama bottoms he’d purchased earlier in the day from the shopping bag and slung them over his shoulder. “I called for it because it’s already been paid for. Shame to waste it.”

She considered that. “Okay, but I’ll only have one glass so don’t expect a song.”

He laughed and crossed the room toward her. When he reached her side, he said, “Aww, but, honey, you made it become my favorite song.” Walking past her on the way to the bathroom, he said, “You can trust that I won’t take advantage of you whether you’re drunk or not.”

“Yes, but can I trust myself?” Abby muttered.

“I heard that.”

She turned slowly and licked her lips. “I didn’t mean for you to.”

Grasping the hem of his shirt, he whipped it over his head in one fluid motion. Abby’s gaze traveled hungrily over his muscled chest across the length of his tribal tattoo. Clenching her hands into fists, she forced herself to look away.

“Abby.”

She looked back at him.

“I’m sure there’s still plenty of warm water if you want to join me.”

“I already showered.” Her voice sounded alien to her ears. Husky and raw.

“Then you can help me shower.”

“I think we’ve proven before that doesn’t work out so well. We get distracted.”

“I like distraction.” He indicated the bathroom door with a jerk of his head. “Feel free to come in there and distract me at any time, but I’ll understand if you don’t.”

“Nick, I look at being in a relationship with you like jumping off a tall building without a parachute. I know the landing is going to be painful.”

“Okay.”

He was supposed to argue with her. To give her all the reasons why they should have sex, why they should pursue a relationship. She could refute those. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

“You know why, Abby.”

She swallowed. “I’m scared of feeling too much with you. I can’t go there.”

“You said it would be like jumping off a tall building without a parachute.”

She nodded.

“Where the hell do you think I would be?”

“What?”

“I’d be right there, by your side. You would never fall alone. Not on my watch.” With that, he turned around and walked into the bathroom.

After a second, Abby heard the shower water turn on. She exhaled the breath she’d held and drew in hungry gasps of oxygen. She couldn’t do this. She’d end up getting hurt. Hadn’t she learned that lesson? The awful shards of brokenness from her past had cut too deeply. If she got involved with Nick again, those shards might end up cutting him too. So by staying away from him, she was actually doing him a favor.

She paced the room. Picking up the remote, she turned the television on. Channel surfed. Nothing good here. Unlike in the shower. Frustrated, she cut the television off and put the remote back.

Would being with Nick be worth the fallout if things ended badly between the two of them? Was the risk worth the moments of bliss she felt in his arms?

Nick would never knowingly hurt her. The thought started tentatively and then grew stronger, firmer until it was a solid belief. So what harm could possibly come from taking this night and spending it with him?

Spinning on her heel, she hurried across the room and put her hand on the bathroom door. Right or wrong. He was where she wanted to be. It was only one night. She would make the most of it. She pushed open the door and stepped in.

Keeping her eyes on the steamed up mirror, she waited until Nick pulled back a portion of the shower curtain. As soon as she heard the sound, she turned to look at him. His hair was wet, and water ran down the sides of his handsome face to flow across his chest and below.

“So, there’s room in there for me?” she asked.

“Always, Abby. Always,” Nick said.

Chapter Fourteen

Shortly after midnight, in between moments of kissing, they finished off the last of the chocolate-covered strawberries. When Abby snuggled against his chest, splaying her hand out across his skin, Nick couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this kind of hope when it came to the possibility of being with her. Surely tonight was the sign of something good for the two of them. Pressing a kiss to the top of her forehead, he scooted up and back against the plump pillows. Reaching under the blankets, he lifted Abby up beside him.

“You want another glass of champagne?”

“Mmmm. No.” She raised her head from his chest and smiled up at him. Her skin was flushed, her lips swollen.

He couldn’t help but lean down and taste her lips again. No matter how often he kissed her, he knew he would always hunger for more. When he settled again, he said, “Be honest. You planned this trip, right down to taking your crappy car, so that you could get me into bed.”

“You figured me out. Obviously, I don’t have a career as a villain.” She rolled slightly away from him and tucked the sheet around herself. Then her teasing expression turned serious.

“What is it?”

“You know this doesn’t change anything about which one of us buys the building? Because this”—she indicated the bed with a sweep of her hand—“doesn’t mean I give up that option.”

Nick groaned in exasperation. “Will you forget the damn building for now?”

She sighed. “It’s the way I’m wired. Always thinking about the future.”

“I get that, and I get that you probably started looking at life that way after your parents died. But if you look too intently at the future, you miss the present.”

“That’s deep.” She frowned. “Did you come up with that?”

“No. I read it somewhere,” he admitted with a laugh. “But it sounded wise so I thought I’d toss it out there.” He traced his fingertips down the length of her arm. He wanted to tell her what was in his heart, but he held back because he suddenly felt that earlier sense of foreboding return. He didn’t want to tell Abby that he loved her and have her chalk it up to sex. For him, it had never been about the sex. Well, not
all
about the sex.

“I learned to be careful, to always look ahead. That’s why I think so much about the future.”

“I guess with my childhood, my brothers and I just concentrated on getting through a day at a time.”

She pressed her lips together, then blurted out, “My ex was like your father. I divorced him because he hit me.”

Nick stilled, feeling the blood drain from his face at the thought of anyone laying an angry hand on his sweet Abby. He knew what growing up in an abusive home had done to him and his brothers. The thought that Abby had experienced some of that made him sick. “He hit you?”

“We’d gone on a weekend getaway. While we were there, he brought up the idea of me selling the diner. I didn’t know at the time that he wanted me to sell it because he’d run up so much debt. I refused and we argued and he hit me.” She said the words quickly as if she needed to rid them from her body.

Nick clenched his jaw as his stomach tightened. “If he were in town, I’d kick his ass so hard a doctor would be able to do a colonoscopy through your ex’s mouth. As it is, maybe I’ll still pay him a visit.”

Abby shook her head. “I got out of the relationship immediately after that.”

By the inflection of her voice, Nick could tell there was more she wasn’t saying. “You want to talk about it?”

“There’s no point. It happened the one time; it’s over.”

“This is also what I was talking about on the trip up here when I asked you if you’d let yourself grieve over the things that hurt you.” He put his fingers below her chin and gently lifted her face upward. “I meant what I said about you never falling alone. Let me share your heartache, Abby. Let me be the one in the trenches with you. I know you’re used to going it alone, and I’ve seen how strong you are, how you take on tough things. But you don’t have to and I don’t think you realize that. I want to be with you.”

He was shocked when Abby burst into tears and got out of the bed to stand by the windows.

…

At the windows, looking out but not seeing anything, Abby bowed her head, hunching forward and sobbing. Damn it all. This was why it was best to go it alone. Now she’d dragged Nick into her scarred-up world because she’d selfishly wanted to feel that same warmth she’d felt in his arms before. She cared about him despite desperately not wanting to.

“Abby?”

He clasped her upper arms, and Abby wanted to rely on his strength, but she knew better. She’d made it so far because she’d been the strong one. She wasn’t about to let go of that strength. Nick needed to know everything; he needed to see the wounded pieces of her so that he would know among that wreckage there was no hope for the survival of a long-term relationship.

She faced him, and the concern on his face was almost her undoing. Feeling the need to sit, she selected one end of the love seat and curled her knees up, hooking her arm around them. “The day my ex hit me was also the day I miscarried. I was eight weeks pregnant.”

“That sonofabitch.”

“I did file a police report, and he was arrested.” Abby shivered at the memory of sitting in the police station. “He received probation and an order to attend anger management counseling. That was it.” She wiped her eyes with her fingers. “The doctor said that women usually experience a miscarriage if there’s something wrong with the embryo, but I’ve always wondered.”

Nick slid closer to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

“I felt a bond.” She dropped her hand to her stomach. Taking a breath, she said, “I did grieve, Nick. I grieved for months. So what if I did it alone and privately? Handling things on my own is how I’ve managed to get through up until this point.”

He smoothed her tousled hair away from the side of her face. “You’re happy living your life that way?”

“I feel fortunate. Things could have been worse, but it’s why I can’t go into a relationship with my entire heart ever again and that includes you, Nick. There’s too much at stake.”

He pulled back at that. “I see.”

“If you want to have a casual relationship with me and you’re willing to take the deal we made about the building off the table, then we can talk about that.”

“But if you keep your guard up, you’re just waiting to see if something bad happens, almost expecting it, so you’re not really committed.”

“I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

“Abby, half in a relationship is half out.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m declining. I want it all. I want the openness. The trust. I want a future, and I want it with you. I want you to at least be willing to give your all emotionally even if you’re not quite there yet.”

His words dug at her like angry wasps defending their territory. “You’re asking too much.”

“Yeah.” His lips twisted. “I was afraid you’d say that.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I have something to tell you about the reason I pushed to be with you. A lot of people trust your judgment about a person’s character. I guess you could say by letting others see us dating, I’m using you to get people and potential clients to see that I’ve changed. That I’m the kind of guy who can be trusted. The kind who’s good enough for someone like you.”

“You were using me?” Her belief that he’d been honorable? He hadn’t been. He’d wanted the building. He’d wanted her for his own means. All his talk about caring and being the one beside her was a load of bull. She’d been a fool. Again. The knowledge hurt, raking her heart across the coals. “How could you lie to me?”

“I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t tell you the whole story, that’s all.”

“Half the truth is a half lie, Nick. You used me and you lied to me, and that’s all there is to say.”

“I’ve been turned inside out with how I feel about you. I only wanted casual, and then I wanted more. I think you feel something for me, and you’re scared to trust yourself. To trust us.”

“And you proved me right, didn’t you?”

“Forget it. You want to push me away? Fine. Consider it done. We’d better get some sleep. Keith will be here early tomorrow morning to pick us up.”

Clenching her hands, Abby said, “You want a guarantee that I’ll love you after what you just told me, is that it? Haven’t you listened to
anything
I’ve said? I’m incapable of loving you the way that you deserve to be loved. I’m incapable of taking a chance. Especially knowing you weren’t honest with me.”

“Well, that’s too damn bad. I guess we’ll never know what could have been. And I wasn’t dishonest…just…tell me. Where does this leave things?”

“We’re back to where we started—adversaries over a building. Nothing more. Not now, not ever.”

“I guess so. Good night, Abby.”

When he turned out the lamp on his side and crawled into the bed, a wave of loneliness washed over Abby stronger and deeper than anything she’d ever experienced.