Resilience (21 page)

Todd flailed his arms and kept from toppling on his ass. He looked down and checked

the next few steps—and caught a passer-by with his elbow.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry, I didn’t—” Todd’s words dried up just like every bit of spit in his mouth as he looked at the person he’d walked into. He felt a bolt of terror, remembered fear and phantom pain, physical and emotional, as he looked into his mother’s piercing eyes.

“You should be sorry,” she spat out, “letting your father rot in prison all for trying to save your soul!”

Not piercing eyes, he realised, but hateful, and soulless, and as close to evil as existed.

He wouldn’t engage in a battle of words with her, because he knew well that logic and reason couldn’t be applied to a fanatic. Which was why he was shocked probably more than she when he said, “You should be rotting right there with him, Mother.”

It was shock, he thought, that propelled him past her, on down the sidewalk. Shock that kept her from yelling, or maybe he just didn’t hear her. All he knew was it felt like something had snapped in him, some final thread of his past that he’d held on to. It was an audible sound in his head, and a releasing of a band of tension around his chest. And Todd finally, completely, let it go. What his parents had done, what others had allowed to happen rather than interfering, it was all in the past completely and he’d not let it control him anymore.

Granted, he’d cut off ties with his parents, and vice versa, after he’d nearly died at his father’s hands, but letting go of everything they’d done to him… He just hoped he’d truly managed it now and he wasn’t suffering from a temporary euphoria caused by snarking at his mother.

The clinic parking lot was deserted. Todd saw Adam’s car parked at the side. He

plucked his cell phone from his pocket. He hadn’t texted Adam back about Miss Jemma, because it had seemed such a cold way to offer condolences. But should he make sure Adam wasn’t busy?

Todd rolled his eyes at himself. What was with him, anyways? His lover was hurting,

and no doubt completely mind-fucked what with all they’d learned about Jameson. Or

possible Jameson… Todd still had some doubts, but—

The electronic doorbell blared and Adam peeked out from the hallway. He looked so

tired it made Todd ache to his core. “Lock it, will you? There’s no appointments this afternoon. I think I’m going to go home and just have the calls forwarded to my cell.”

Todd snapped the lock on the door without looking away from Adam. Adam’s eyes

had a sheen to them the instant before he swiped at them. “What a fucking shit day.”

Opening his arms, Todd crossed the waiting area. “Come here, baby.” Then he had his

arms full of warm, shaking, sobbing man. Each sound wrenched at Todd and twisted him in knots as he stroked his hands down Adam’s back. “It’s going to be okay. I’m sorry about Miss Jemma, I know you loved her. And the rest, with Jameson, we can find him, okay? If Gabe and his friends are right, and it was him, we can…” Todd’s mind skipped and stuttered as Adam tipped his head back and looked at him with red-rimmed eyes. “We can go t-to Amsterdam.” Oh shit, what was he saying? Just the idea of getting on a plane made Todd’s heart flutter and he… He was fricking scared of flying, he thought.

But Adam’s face lit up and a tremulous smile curved his lips, and Todd’s fear of flying could go screw itself. He’d deal with it. “Really? You mean it? Because Jameson doesn’t have anyone else, and the idea that he could be hurt or d-dead…” Adam gulped and rubbed his face on Todd’s shirtsleeve. “I can’t stand the thought of him being forgotten and just…just left, you know.”

“I know,” Todd murmured. And he did. “I would do the same for Gabe.”

Adam nodded. “When can we go?” He frowned. “How long will it take to get passports?”

Todd groaned, wondering if it was still a nightmarishly long wait. “We need to find all that stuff out, if we need shots and when we can get off and just, I don’t know what all else.

I’ve never even been out of Texas.”

Adam gave him a half-grin. “Well, once you decide to leave it, you sure do it big, don’t you?”

Todd couldn’t help himself, not when Adam’s expression was melting him from the

inside out. He framed Adam’s face with his hands and kissed those smiling lips.

Adam moaned and grabbed at Todd’s shoulders, and, the next thing Todd knew, Adam

was on him, literally winding his legs around Todd’s waist and locking his arms behind Todd’s neck.

Adam’s need rolled off him, warming the scant air between them. Todd growled, a low

rumble bubbling up from his stomach as he spun and pinned Adam to the door. He didn’t think to check for anyone approaching as he crushed his mouth to Adam’s.

Todd curled his fingers into the seam of Adam’s pants, wedging his fingers in his

crevice. He squeezed and kneaded the firm globes of Adam’s ass while plundering his

mouth. Todd didn’t let any of that moist, warm cavern go unclaimed, owning every bit he could suck, lick or nip.

And Adam made the most stimulating sounds, whimpers and gasps that Todd

swallowed and made his own. He hefted Adam up higher so he could hold that fine ass

better, then Adam threw his head back and writhed against him.

“Please,” Adam whined, pulling the short hair at Todd’s nape. “I need you.”

The fact that he was dry-humping Adam against the door penetrated Todd’s lust—

fevered brain and he cursed soundly as he pushed Adam’s legs, encouraging him to stand.

“Where?” he croaked out, want making every bit of his body tight and hard.

Adam grabbed his hand and all but ran into the hallway. He turned into an exam room

and grabbed a small package. “Catch.”

Todd caught it and glared down at it. “What—”

“Lube,” Adam huffed out, his voice muffled for a split second. “And don’t ask, it’s for—”

“Stop before you kill the mood,” Todd said, firmly tossing that last bit of info from his mind. There were things he didn’t need to know. Ever. Adam smirked and finished pulling his shirt off.

The sight of his fit bronze chest, his nipples dark and hard, sent a surge of desire swamping Todd’s brain. He ripped the lube open then set it on the exam table as he unfastened his utility belt and pants. He considered just pulling his cock out, but there was the distinct feeling of this being a bit wilder than that. Todd toed off his boots then removed his pants and briefs. He slicked his length with half the lube.

Adam kicked off his shoes and shoved down his trousers and briefs. “Damn it!” He

hopped and got one foot free then turned and bent over the table. His brown eyes seared Todd’s green ones as Adam looked over his shoulder. “Fuck me.”

Todd trailed his gaze down the broad expanse of Adam’s back, the sculpted muscles

and deep line of his spine, the paler, firm swells of his ass, and the dark, soft fuzz lining his crease.

“Now, damn it!” Adam arched and spread at the same time, giving Todd a view of his pucker.

“In a minute,” Todd growled, because, oh yes, he knew Adam’s dick got slick every

time he used that tone. Sure enough, Adam whimpered and dropped his head down on top of his folded hands. “That’s good. Just have some patience, honey. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Adam pushed up on one arm. “But—”

“No.” Todd put a hand between Adam’s shoulder blades and pushed gently. Adam

didn’t protest, instead lowering himself down with a soft sound that Todd thought seemed full of relief. “I know that you’re hurting, and I’m sorry, Adam. But asking me to hurt you, for me to give you enough physical pain to distract you from the other, I can’t do that.”

Adam’s breath hitched into something close to a sob. Todd leaned over him and

nuzzled beneath his ear. “But loving you, making you feel so good the pain ebbs for a while, that I can do.” He let some of his weight press down on Adam, let Adam feel him there, around him, holding him in place. Hopefully, keeping Adam safe.

Todd licked a path down Adam’s neck then back up to right beneath his ear. He pushed Adam’s dark hair back and sucked there, marking him with a love-bruise that would stay for a week if not longer. All the while, Adam squirmed and undulated beneath him, rocking his ass up to Todd’s groin. Todd had to scoot his hips back a bit to keep Adam from spearing himself on Todd’s dick. He reached beneath Adam and pinched his nipples hard enough to give Adam some of the bite he wanted, but not hard enough to damage him.

Adam bucked and slapped at the table, grabbing the edges. He begged with his body, and Todd slid down, tonguing the deep groove of his spine until his knees were on the floor.

He smoothed his hands over Adam’s sides and parted his cheeks. Todd eyed the clenching pucker as Adam rubbed against the table.

“Todd, please, please. Fucking hell, do something to me!”

Adam didn’t have to ask again. Todd held Adam’s cheeks open with his thumbs,

holding onto his ass. He licked over Adam’s asshole with a firm swipe of tongue, and Adam bellowed as if he’d been shocked. His entire body shook, and Todd, surging from the knowledge of the effect he had on his lover, dived in and rimmed Adam thoroughly,

learning which licks and sucks drew out the most pants, the loudest curses, the most ardent demands for more.

Todd didn’t hold back, eating Adam’s ass until Adam was incoherent with need, his

breaths loud rasps punctuated with wordless sounds. Adam’s hole was wet, slick and

gaping, as ready to be fucked as Todd was to do it. He surged up, one hand holding his cock, the other tracking up to Adam’s shoulder.

“Now,” Todd said, his voice raw and stripped, need damn near strangling him. He

covered Adam and got his cock lined up. He moved that hand to Adam’s hip. “Mine,” he snarled, knowing Adam needed to hear it, to feel it, and he thrust, spearing Adam open and driving in balls-deep.

“Agh!” Adam shouted, shoving back as hard as Todd drove forwards. The slap of their

bodies coming together was almost as loud Adam’s shout. Todd couldn’t make a sound, he couldn’t even breathe, not when a rapturous sensation was already beginning in his balls.

He held Adam by the shoulder and the hip and withdrew to the tip, then slammed back

in. And didn’t stop, not even when Adam reached beneath himself to jerk off. Todd kept powering in and out, deeper and harder, circling his hips when he could pause long enough to do so, his body and Adam’s battering each other as they thrust and pumped, Adam’s ass to his groin as their need ratcheted up even higher.

“Todd!”

How Adam had said even that, Todd hadn’t a clue. His tongue was thick, his mouth dry, his body and brain focused on one thing—the abundance of pleasure flooding him, flooding his lover, pulling the sweet sounds of ecstasy from him.

Todd hitched up his leg, getting his knee onto the table beside Adam, and thrust in smaller, more forceful movements. Adam made a choked noise and his ass fluttered around Todd’s cock. Todd arched more, knowing he’d found Adam’s gland, and he went after that pleasure spot until Adam jerked, his inner muscles constricting so tight Todd’s eyes watered.

Heat and ice tore through him and he cursed as he buried his face in Adam’s hair.

Todd’s head pounded even as his cock pulsed and he came so hard his balls ached from it. His climax felt endless as Adam continued clenching around him and quivering beneath him. Those movements pulled each jet of cum from Todd, milking him until his knees gave out. He collapsed on top of Adam, leg still hitched up, his softening cock still in Adam’s warm sheath.

Gradually he became aware of a cramp in his leg. Adam had to be uncomfortable, too.

Todd propped himself on his elbows and kissed the back of Adam’s sweaty neck, savouring the salty tang of his well-loved man. “You all right?” Had he been too rough after all?

Adam groaned and managed to open one eye just enough that Todd could see the

white. “M’good. You’re good. Fuckin’ great. Magnish—magnifishent, even.”

“Well then,” Todd said, his cheeks hot for more than one reason. He’d fucked his

sweetheart into the whole slurred-speech state. Not too bad, he thought. Not too bad at all.

Adam sighed and reached back to hold Todd’s hip. “Stay. Do you… Do you have to go

back?”

Adam never asked him to take time off, and, really, never asked him for anything, it seemed to Todd. So he knew just how much Adam must need him to do so now. As long as it was calm in Shasta—which, considering the roll-over, it should be. Not much happened in Shasta.

“Just let me tell Manny he’s in charge for the rest of the day.” They were a person short, yeah, but Todd could come back if he needed to. And Manny could also call in one of the reserves. Todd hadn’t done so this morning since Adam had gone in early, but now… Now he was going to spend the rest of the day and night taking care of his man.

“Geez fuck,” Adam muttered as he glared at the laptop screen. “Four to six weeks

unless we pay for expedited service. That’s… What the hell, you know? Someone can blow up the planet with the push of a few buttons—and that’s a scary fucking thought. Who has access to our nukes anyway?”

Todd scooted his chair closer and draped an arm over Adam’s shoulder. Adam could

see him frowning in his reflection on the computer screen. “How much for the expedited service?”

Adam scrolled down. “Let’s see, it’s a hundred and forty plus twenty-five, sixty for the expedited, and…and twelve seventy-two for overnight shipping, and that’s two to three weeks versus four to six weeks. Huh.” Adam scratched the back of his head, mainly just because he liked feeling Todd’s arm back there on his shoulders. “This is confusing, and stupid. Why pay more if it might come at four weeks, if, say, you pay the extra, which we’d double, of course, since we would both need it, and it ended up coming at the long end of the spectrum, like the end of the third week.”

Todd didn’t answer so Adam turned to look at him—only to find Todd gaping at him.

“What? Do I have something?” Adam’s face flushed hot as he rubbed at his nose.