Reserved (27 page)

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. You have a lot to protect. I was pissed, maybe a little embarrassed at first. I get why you ran off, but I’m not some sleazy manwhore. I guess I played that part for a while because it was easier than being dumped, or being some broken loser.”

“Please, stop.”

Travis took her in his arms. “I love you. I’ll work my ass off to deserve you, but I won’t live my life ashamed.”

“I don’t want you to be ashamed.” She touched his face, leaning in to gently kiss his lips. “I was being stupid and now that you are here, I couldn’t care less how many women you’ve slept with. I think it fed my own insecurities: you know, the tiny dresses and the experience. I just—”

“Took your lunch box and went home?”

She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have done that. I just got all turned around. This is new for me too . . . Hey, before I kiss you, could you say that last part again?”

“The lunch box?”

Kenna shook her head.

“The part about how great Paige is?”

She smiled and shook her head again.

“Oh, you must be talking about the part where I said . . . when I said that I love you.”

Her lips did that quiver thing, but before her tears fell, she took his face and kissed him. Soft and healing, as if by touching him she could fix him. He sure as hell hoped it was that easy.

“I love you too,” she said, still holding his face, and he could have sworn she slid right down into his soul. Turned out when Makenna Rye said she loved someone, she meant it.

He went to kiss her again, but she held her finger to his lips and said, “And just for the record, I loved you before you told me about stupid Avery and your dumb brother with the bad we’re-no-longer-in-college-asshole haircut.”

Travis laughed and then kissed her. “Wow, that was good. He really does have a bad haircut. Maybe you can mention that to him the next time you see him, you know, just like that with the asshole part in there too.”

“Oh, that would be my pleasure. You know how things just flow right out of my mouth.”

“I do know that about you,” he said, laying her back on the bed and caging her between his arms. “Blunt, I think that’s what we call it. I really do love you when you’re to the point.”

“Really?” she said as she pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor.

“Absolutely.”

“Good, because here I go again. Take off the rest of those clothes and get in here because under this robe . . .” She playfully pulled the silk off one shoulder.

Travis reached out to touch her. “I’m all ears.”

“Serious unicorns await you if you get naked and hit that light.”

Travis leaned up off the bed, dropped his jeans, and clicked the lamp off in record time. When he slid under the covers and pulled her on top of him, moonlight filled the room, as if it’d been put there just so he could keep looking at her.

He pushed the hair off her face as she straddled him and let her robe fall open.

“I love you,” she said, nothing short of stunning in all her open abandon. She lifted and slowly they filled each other with warmth that had nothing to do with their pasts. They were connected in a now that no longer confused him. He had no idea if he could be the “right” man for her world, but he knew he was in love with her and would be for the rest of his life. As the moonlight spilled over them, with each pull and every glide, she seemed to fall farther and he followed.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

M
akenna opened her eyes, somehow knowing exactly where she was, and then pulled up the duvet she was nestled in to check for clothing. Panties and camisole in place, her next thoughts were filled with wondering if Paige was awake, what time it was, and then . . . Travis.

He had been there last night, right? The whole thing felt like a dream, not
the
dream, but an entirely different dream. He loved her, she knew that already, but he’d said it and so had she, and they’d spent some time showing each other just how much.

Before she’d fallen asleep in Travis’s arms last night, she’d gotten up and put her clothes back on. She remembered now. Even though she’d been exhausted, some things were automatic for Kenna. There was no way she would allow herself to sleep naked in her family home or with her daughter two doors down. Sure, she made love to a gorgeous man until almost sunrise, but there were still rules. She sat up and realized it was nine o’clock. This was clearly some version of a dream because there was no way she was at Ryeland Farms and allowed to sleep past five o’clock. She hadn’t even heard the roosters. Makenna wondered if Travis had left as she tightened her robe and made her way downstairs. Before she even entered the kitchen, Paige plowed right into her.

“Mama!” she yelped, dancing around in her sweatpants, cowgirl boots, and a Dodger’s T-shirt that was about four sizes too big. “Guess who came to visit us and to see Gracie’s new babies?” She pulled Makenna into the kitchen, and with a big sweeping gesture of her little arm, said, “Tada! Mmmmy Travis!”

And there he stood, looking like he’d just arrived and scooping Paige up with one arm when she charged at him. Travis was holding a coffee cup in the other hand and, from what Kenna could hear as she went to the fridge, discussing gumbo with her father. She made herself a cup of tea and kissed her father on the cheek.

“Morning. Is it the end of the world? You let me sleep in.”

Her father grinned and picked his hat up off the table. “You had a fill-in.” He gestured to Travis, who met Kenna’s eyes and gave her that rich melting smile he’d perfected.

“Really? You let a city boy play 4-H?”

Her dad nodded and took Paige from Travis, throwing her over his shoulder as she squealed. “He did a pretty good job too. I think I’ve got him convinced he needs to sell that bike and get himself a proper truck.”

Makenna laughed and took a sip of tea. “Is that so?”

“I’m thinking about it,” he said, drinking coffee and looking right at home in their kitchen, in her life.

“That’s a shame. I love that bike.”

Travis looked at her father, who promptly dropped his head and laughed as he filled one Thermos with coffee and the other with hot chocolate.

Kenna watched her dad and knew he was taking Paige on the tractor. Coffee and cocoa always meant a tractor ride was in the works. The first memory she had after her mother left was coffee and cocoa. She’d been crying in her room when her father came in, big cowboy hat firmly in place, and told her to get dressed. She’d looked up at him, wiped her eyes, and when she hesitated, he said, “We’ve got a Thermos of coffee for me and one with cocoa for you. Let’s not dillydally or it’ll get cold. We don’t have time for crying; there’s work to be done.”

She’d gotten dressed quickly and when she ran down the stairs, her father held out her coat and pulled up her hood. She remembered swallowing back her remaining tears and taking her father’s hand. She’d ridden with a big wool blanket across her lap as her father delivered mail and equipment to some of the houses the farm hands lived in on the property. Standing in the kitchen, a grown woman now, she could still feel the scratch of the blanket and the fuel smell of the tractor. After their deliveries, her father had parked them under one of the pecan trees and poured coffee and cocoa into the green metal cups of each Thermos.

“It’s good to get out and get some air in your lungs.”

Kenna, who was just about six, nodded up at her father.

“Who’s going to sit next to me at the table now?” she’d asked.

Her father must have hesitated and at least allowed a moment for his own emotions, but as a little girl, she hadn’t noticed.

“Well, there are five chairs, but one of them is loose.”

“The one Garrett sits in?”

“Yeah, that one. It’s wobbly, so let’s break that one up and make it firewood. That’ll leave four chairs, just enough.” Her father took a gulp of coffee. “In fact, since we’re changing it up, let’s not have set seats anymore. Instead, let’s just grab whatever seat we want.”

“What if Garrett or Logan push and I don’t get a seat?”

“Well, we know there will always be four seats, so it might be a little crazy, but eventually everyone will find a seat. It’ll be like an adventure every morning.”

Kenna remembered nodding and could still feel the warmth of the cocoa as it hit her little stomach. “Sure, I like adventure.”

“Me too.” He’d kissed her on the forehead, and that was the last time Kenna cried about her mother. After that day, her father kept her busy and life with her brothers and her father became an adventure.

“Well, the almost birthday girl and I have a tractor ride waiting for us, so we’ll leave you two now.”

Before he could grab Paige under his arm, Kenna put her arms around her father, kissed him on the cheek, and held on.

“Thank you,” she whispered in his ear.

“What for?” he whispered back.

“For taking me on the tractor.”

Her father pulled back and looked at her through weathered green eyes that had seen more than their share of heartache. She didn’t need to explain it; he knew what the tractor meant, and again, he took off his hat and kissed her on the forehead. He turned to Paige and Travis, who were locked in an intense thumb war, scooped her up under his arm, and was gone.

Kenna watched them go down the path, her daughter giggling and squirming, and for what felt like the thousandth time in her life, she was so grateful.

Travis checked the door then leaned in and kissed her.

“You did chores for me?” she asked, returning to her present.

“I did. I was a very good boy.” He backed Kenna up toward the counter, but before she had a chance to be playful and tell Travis what a good boy he had been, Garrett walked into the kitchen with dirty hands extended.

“Aw shit, it’s clearly mating season for all the animals.” He turned on the sink and lathered his hands.

Makenna huffed, sure her face was flushed. “What are you talking about? Travis just got here. He came to see Gracie’s babies.”

Garrett nodded and dried his hands. He stared down at her, not moving, eyes giving nothing away.

“He let me in last night,” Travis leaned into her and whispered.

Makenna closed her eyes. “Right, sure. Well, good morning, my least favorite and always rude brother.”

Travis said nothing. It was probably best because Garrett seemed poised and ready to use anything that came out of his mouth for his next smart-ass assault.

“Least favorite? Yeah, I don’t think so.”

Kenna nodded her head like a child and drank her tea.

“Well, that’s a shame, because your least favorite brother just got done installing the new top you ordered for your Jeep. Maybe next time you should ask your favorite brother—that is, if he’s not too busy melting butter with this guy.” Garrett gestured with his thumb to Travis.

Makenna all but jumped into her brother’s arms and planted a big kiss right on his mouth. Garrett set her down, rolled his eyes, and Travis laughed.

“Did you really put on the new top?”

“Dirt on my hands proves it.”

“Thank you, my favoritest brother,” Makenna said, using a Paige word and wide eyes.

Garrett shook his head and flicked her hair. “Not quite as cute when you say it. What are you two doing, other than feeling each other up?”

“Travis did chores for me this morning,” Makenna said playfully. Raising Paige had restored a youthfulness she never really felt growing up, but playful without chasing her daughter around their home was something new. Kenna felt giddy, silly, and crazy in love.

“I noticed. A sure sign of a whipped man.” Garrett laughed, patted Travis on the back, and left out the front porch.

Travis didn’t normally lean toward comparisons, but there was no denying the contrast between the Ryes and the McNultys. It was obvious to him just working with Logan, but the contrast was even greater in their personal lives. Always plenty of teasing and pushing around, but it was tempered with what Travis could only describe as fun, joy maybe. The teasing was the fun and he’d seen it get pretty intense, especially between Logan and Garrett, but Makenna was right—it wasn’t hurtful. Watching the Rye family, Travis started realizing his family members were bullies, as she’d said. He remembered reading some self-help book a long time ago that said, “You can’t choose your family,” and hanging right in the McNulty family kitchen were the colorfully stitched needlepoint words,
Family is Family
.

Travis knew what he had been born into, the inevitable pull of his blood, but for the first time in his life, he was beginning to envision his own family, people of his choosing who loved him. Love. He loved her and her daughter . . . and wanted them in his life. Even if he wasn’t yet sure what that meant or if he was even up for it, the need was there. He tried to push it back and steady his heart. One more cup of coffee and a few more stolen moments with Makenna, and Travis needed to get a move on if he was going to make it to The Yard in time to meet Logan and start prep for lunch. Paige grabbed him on his way to his bike and pulled him back into the barn for one more look.