Reserved (21 page)

Tonight things were different because the redhead returned from the bathroom and they even had dessert.

“Vinnie may have found a keeper,” Logan said as he placed two salads in the serving window.

They were all smiling, and money was exchanged among the pizza guys as Vinnie put on his date’s coat, left his usual dollar-fifty, and waved good-bye.

Travis took Makenna’s arm and walked her to the back kitchen. He pulled off his apron with the hand not holding her and threw it over the hook. When he saw Todd chopping carrots to whatever song was on his iPod, Travis let out a quick breath, pulled her into the dry storage, and closed the door. His eyes were wild with what looked like excitement as he paced in front of her.

“Would you like to go out? You know, like on a date?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’d like to take you on a date. Dinner, a movie. I know you said you’re not exactly dating anymore, but I never got a chance to participate. I think I’d like to participate.”

Kenna started to laugh and then realized he was serious.

“You’re serious.”

“Well, not if it’s that funny.” He turned to leave, but she took his arm.

“Travis, come on. We don’t . . . we’re not . . . you don’t date women like me.”

“Forget it.” Travis pulled away easily and was at the door.

She knew once he walked out and that damn apron went on, he’d be back in front and she wouldn’t get another word in for hours. Which was great. She should have let him go because he was talking crazy. They had nothing in common. Physically they appeared to work, sure, but Travis McNulty was complete freedom and motorcycle driving and she was all about responsibility and field trips. It was perfect that he was going back to work. She should do the same and all would be right with the world. That’s what should have happened, but instead, she grabbed him again, spun him around, and pulled. Her body responded as it always did lately and promptly started to go up in flames, so she kissed him. This time, she was in charge. She was the one starting and finishing the conversation, and it was as if she were showing him that this, kissing, was all they were really good at. Her hands found their way into his hair, and when he pushed her up against the closed door, she could hear voices in the kitchen. He pressed his body into her and his hand traveled up the curve of her side. It was simple, innocent even in certain circles, but her entire body begged for more.
They were at work,
a stupid voice in the back of her head said. Anyone could come through that door at any minute, but she didn’t care. She was kissing a beautiful man in a pantry. When was that ever going to happen again in her life?

Finally finished with him, she pulled back and pushed at his chest.

“Is that a yes?” Travis asked through barely open eyes and a smile so wicked she almost went back for more.

“This is crazy.”

“Hey, that time was all you. Really fine skills there, by the way.”

“I’m not your type. Dating isn’t like making lunch or cookies even. Dating could lead to complications and, well, what if you don’t even really like me?”

“Pretty sure I do.” Travis looked down at the front of his pants, and Makenna blushed. She wondered if the blushing would ever stop.

“I’m not like this, Travis. I’m different.”

“I know.”

“Then let’s just call that a kiss. We’ve had a couple of them, we’ve made some cookies, and now let’s get back to our normal back-and-forth teasing. You have clearly lost your normal, so maybe you should call up someone, a model or someone who enjoys wearing heels, and walk away. Because I’ll want a second date. And a phone call. I’m all about commitment. I have a daughter.”

“Yes, you do, and she’s incredible.”

“I need someone who knows . . .”

“Knows what?”

“Someone who knows what I need, not just what my body wants.”

“That’s why we need a date. Just you and me, no lunches or work, just the two of us so we can figure this out. This isn’t about getting in your pants, although whether you know it or not, you’re sexy. Smart as hell too, which is a major bonus. I’d like to take you out.”

“What has gotten into you? What about work and Logan?”

“I don’t want to date Logan.”

She smacked his shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

“I’ve already talked to him. He knows I’ve got a thing.”

“You’ve talked to him? You have a thing?”

“Makenna, relax. It’s just dinner. Sunday, I’ll pick you up around two?”

She felt herself slip further.

“In the afternoon? Two in the afternoon?”

“Yeah, unless you want me to stop by in the middle of the night.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Her face flushed again.

“I’ll have to get a sitter for Paige.”

“I’m sure Logan and Kara would love to have her for the day.”

“Why are you taking me on a day date? What, do you have a real date that night?”

Travis laughed. “No. I want to spend time with you. Get started early.”

“Holy hell, who are you?”

Travis smiled, kissed her gently, and walked out. “See you Sunday at two.”

He closed the door behind her as if he knew she needed a minute. When had he started knowing her? Her heart was racing and she’d never been more confused in her life.

Chapter Nineteen

A
t first she thought she was looking up at a full moon, but Makenna looked closer and realized it wasn’t quite full. It was the one right before full—when all the glow was there except a tiny sliver—and it lit up most of Makenna’s small backyard as she stood on her patio with a cup of tea. Kara had given her a new citrus-mint green tea that she was actually starting to enjoy. Paige was thrilled and had begun spouting the benefits of green tea almost daily.

Makenna warmed at the thought of her daughter. She was up at the farm for night two of Gracie baby watch, and Kenna missed her.
She missed her noise,
she thought, taking another sip and a deep breath.

Looking up at the moon, as she often did at night, she felt small. It was strange how daily life could consume a person so much that even the little things seemed huge, like they were matters of life or death, when really they meant nothing. She’d learned what was huge and what wasn’t when Adam died. The lesson had faded over time as doctor’s appointments, clean toilets, and whether she was wearing the right shoes or should get one of those Louis Vuitton bags owned by all the mothers at St. Christopher’s took on greater importance, but when she was quiet with herself, looking at the moon, she remembered.

Almost a full moon,
she thought. Maybe that’s what she was. It was possible a sliver would always be missing, left there by her mother or Adam or all the things she told herself. Maybe all that stuff combined kept her from being a full and glorious moon. Tears filled her eyes at the thought, but she swallowed them and held her hands to the warmth of her teacup.

A breeze rushed through the trees and she closed her eyes, listening to the tinkling duet between her wind chime and the one next door. She loved it here, loved her home. She and Paige lived in a section of Pasadena known as Bungalow Heaven. They’d moved into their little house a couple of years ago once Kenna figured out which school she wanted Paige to attend for kindergarten. Their home was just over 1,700 square feet and it was a Craftsman, as were all of the homes in the area. When they were looking, she had loved that about the neighborhood; the houses were all built the same way, but on the outside they were so varied. Some had porches; others were shingled. Some properties had big trees and others had small manicured shrubs. The neighborhood had it all and yet there was a thread of similar.

“Reminds me of a family,” her father had said when she brought him to see the house. “Similar, but no two are the same.” After his lovely metaphor, he proceeded to spout statistics about the crime rates and where the closest fire department and police stations were. He had come right out and said he was uncomfortable with a single woman and a little girl living alone. Kenna hadn’t had the energy to be offended at the time, and now looking back, she only saw the love behind the comment. Makenna’s mother had run off with “some rich asshole,” as her brothers liked to say on the rare occasions their mother’s absence came up in their adult lives. She was five when her mother left. With the exception of a pair of brown-and-cream colored heels with a tiny ankle strap and a silver ring with a bright blue stone her mother had worn on her middle finger, Makenna didn’t remember her. Not what she looked like or smelled like. She had no memory of bedtime stories or bath time. Every now and then when she was growing up, she would try to reach back, but there was nothing there.

It had always seemed strange when people expressed sorrow for something she didn’t even remember. As she grew older, she realized it was the void, the absence of a mother that struck so many as tragic. When she became a mother herself, she understood what she had been missing, and yet she didn’t ever remember feeling unloved or neglected. If the emptiness had been filled by her father or her brothers or even Libby at the diner, why did it matter that one person decided not to show up for her? There were people who never showed up or those who did and made life worse than it would have been without them. Makenna knew it was human nature for people to sigh and put her in the poor abandoned girl category, but quite frankly, she never understood it. She was loved deeply by the people in her life and she had a beautiful, healthy little girl with a man she loved who had been taken away. If Kenna wanted to dwell on the unfair, she’d probably look to losing Adam before her no-show mother. That had been more tragic and had taken her longer to accept. Part of her knew she was changed when she lost Adam. She would always be missing a piece. It was all right; life wasn’t fair and the moon, even missing its sliver, was still glorious.

As she walked back into the house, Makenna felt that calm again. Maybe after all this time, her life was slowing down, just a little.

Chapter Twenty

T
ravis picked Makenna up at two o’clock on that Sunday for their first official date. At least, it felt a whole hell of a lot official because he was there at her house and the nerves that hit his stomach when she opened the door reminded him that this part, the show-up-and-stick-around part, was not exactly his strength.
It’s just a date, no big deal,
he heard from somewhere in the back of his head.

She surprised him by taking the helmet he offered and climbing on the back of his bike like a pro. No concerned looks or whining about helmet head; she simply slid her arms around him and gave over control. He wondered whether her mind was moving a mile a minute and she was keeping it to herself, but as they pulled into the parking garage, he felt like she was genuinely relaxed. They parked and Kenna looked confused. He was counting on that.

“Is this the library?”

Travis nodded.

“How? Why?” He saw it in her eyes the moment she realized it.

“When you guys were in on Friday, I asked Paige what one of your favorite places was, and she said—”

“The library.” Makenna smiled as he helped her off the bike and took the helmet.

“Yup, but she said you guys went to the Pasadena library, so this is sort of like a date-level library.”

She laughed and then pulled him into a kiss so hot he lost his breath.

“Who knew you library chicks could kiss like that?” He took her hand and they walked toward the huge main entrance.

“Do you have a library card?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.

“I do.” Travis pulled out his wallet, flashed his card, and held the door open for her.

“You just got that, didn’t you?”

“Yesterday.”

She laughed and then fell silent at the sight of the lobby. Looking at him, mouth still open, she slowly turned in a full circle like she was on a field trip. Travis offered up his thanks to Paige because this was probably the best date idea ever. He took Makenna’s hand and tried to remember some of the stuff on the walking tour brochure he’d looked up online.

“Okay, you are standing in one of the largest publicly funded libraries in the world.”

Kenna raised her eyebrows, most likely at his mad tour guide skills, so he kept going.

“The interior is a big draw because of . . . well, look at it.”

“Do you know what these murals represent?” She walked over to the colorful paintings.

“I do. They show the . . . history of California. The library opened in 1926 and there are tile mosaics on top of the building. One of them has a torch, which is supposed to mean the light of knowledge.” Travis took in a big breath.

“Is that the tour?” She stopped and faced him.

“It is. I’m afraid it’s a free tour, so it’s . . . really short.”

She went up on her toes and kissed him again, right there in the lobby.

“Okay, we’d better get started or things are going to get naughty in the library and I don’t think she would approve.” Travis glanced at the older woman in the black cardigan sitting amongst a stack of books and felt like he was in junior high again.

Kenna grinned, warm and teasing, and he really wanted to get in trouble.

“See, now stop doing that.” He took her hand, but before they moved to the elevators, she looked at him. Her eyes were soft and no longer full of surprise. It was almost as if she was seeing him for the first time—or maybe for the first time, he was letting her.