Requiem for a Mouse (14 page)

MAVERICK

Bolt was the first to come back. He plopped down in front of Flower as if his body weighed too much for his legs.

“Bolt, tell me where it hurts. Maverick, get me the bandages and bring me the knife! Also get the lantern, I need light.” Flower’s voice held an edge of panic, but her hands were steady. Her grassy eyes never wavered off Bolt.

Maverick did as he was told. He watched Flower in amazement. Her hands glazed over Bolt’s bleeding cheek. Bolt winced away from her touch, but she grabbed his neck, holding him steady. It was hard to believe that she was in tears only a moment earlier.

“Hold him steady Maverick, I’m going to disinfect the cut.”

Maverick couldn’t help but be impressed. Sometimes it was hard to tell but she was still just a child, the youngest of them all.

Bolt slapped Flower’s hand away from him.

“Bolt, what’s wrong?”

He shot his hands into his pockets. When they came back out, so did a plastic bag of crushed pills. It fell onto the ground, the gelatin pills simply yellow liquid collecting on the edges of the bag.

Maverick’s stomach dropped. Of course, he had known this would happen since the first gunshot. Still, seeing the crushed pills made their failure a reality.

“Bolt,” Flower’s voice softened. “Look, there was nothing anyone could do.”

Bolt shook his head in small twitches. “Nothing
I
could do.”

“There were men with guns, Bolt.” Flower offered him a slight smile. “Nobody expected us to succeed. Even Mav came back.”

But Bolt refused her. “Do you think that matters?” he screamed. “I lost us the drop! I failed our last one!” His breaths came in an erratic rhythm. Every breath deeper than the last, every movement a little more out of control. He was practically hyperventilating.

“Bolt,” Maverick said. “You need to calm down.”

Bolt shook his head again, this time, he swung his head from side to side. “Don’t you get it? We’re done. We lost. Nothing we’ve done matters after tonight. And it’s because of me!” Bolt’s voice bounced off the walls of their home, each time like an accusation thrown back at him.

“Bolt, you’re bleeding pretty badly. Please, just let me take a look at you.” Flower pleaded.

But she might as well have been speaking a foreign language. Bolt grabbed his head like he was trying to crush it. He broke into convulsions, his body doing a weird dance of sporadic twitches. His eyes closed and he hit the ground.

“Bolt!” Maverick turned toward Flower, but she was already half way to Bolt.

“Maverick,” Flower snapped. “Game face, get me a pillow.”

Maverick barely heard her. He just stared at Bolt shaking on the ground.

What’s happening to him?

“Maverick!”

Two fingers snapped inches from his face. Behind those fingers were Flower, her emerald eyes calm and unwavering. “It’s a seizure, probably from panic,” she said. “He’ll live. Now get me a damn pillow.”

SASHA

The morning came fast, it seemed that as soon as Sasha closed her eyes, bright rays of sunlight glared into them. She scanned the other tents. Flower and Maverick were sound asleep, but Bolt and Prince were missing. Not good. Flower had told her about what happened with Bolt and she had witnessed Prince’s condition firsthand.

She had found him dumped on top of a pile of garbage. Bloody bits of skin hung off his cheek. After being unable to wake him, she had carried him home on her back. He had barely awoken when Flower had cleaned and bandaged his wound. Flower had assured her that he would be fine, but Sasha had never seen him so limp. If not for Flower, she would’ve fallen asleep outside of Prince’s tent.

Sasha sighed and stood up to stretch. She walked over to inspect Prince’s tent, sneaking a foot in to feel the sheets on the ground. Cold.

It’s Sunday so Bolt’s probably in church, but Prince…

“I know where you are,” she muttered to nobody in particular. There was only one place Prince went when he wanted to be alone. She walked to the river.

“I thought I would find you here,” Sasha said, approaching the silent Prince. His eyes were downcast, unresponsive to her greeting. “Having fun watching dirt?”

Prince pulled his head up from between his knees, the bandage on his cheek a stale maroon color. He returned his attention to the ground.

“Is dirt really that interesting?” Sasha asked. She took a seat next to him.

“I’m just thinking.” Though Prince responded to her, it didn’t seem that the words were directed at her. It was as if he was talking to the ground and she just happened to have heard him.

“About the drop?” Sasha waited for a response, but none came.

“No.”

“Then what are you thinking about?”

Silence. Sasha turned her gaze to the murky river. She half-expected crickets to start chirping.

“Flower said that your face is probably going to scar.” Sasha finally said. “But it won’t be that bad and who knows, maybe it’ll give your face some character.”

She received no response.

Sasha made a weak attempt at a smile. “Sorry, I guess I’m not that funny.”

“Why’d you do it?” Prince asked, his voice serious.

“I’m just trying to brighten the mood.”

“I’m not talking about your joke, I mean why’d you cut your eye at Hawk’s Lair?”

“Uh…” Sasha wasn’t sure whether she wanted to answer the question, but it didn’t seem like she had much of a choice. She took a deep breath. “Well, I guess it’s because I had to.”

“You almost dug your eye out.”

Prince finally turned to look at her, but it was a hollow victory. His icy stare held more anger in it than anything else. Sasha shrugged and looked away. It felt like she was being interrogated. “It was all I could do at the time.”

“But how did you know it would work?” Prince grabbed Sasha’s arm and turned her toward him. He grew louder with every word. “What if you went through all of that and only accomplished blinding yourself?”

“I guess I just didn’t think about that at the time.”

Prince kept quiet, mulling over Sasha’s words. When at last he was ready to speak, his speech came out in cold deliberation. “You made the wrong choice. No matter how you look at it, you were wrong. If it was anyone else, they would’ve probably just gotten themselves killed. Why’d you even go?”

“So I could hold this over your head for the rest of your life.”

Prince didn’t share her humor. “Sasha, I’m serious.”

Sasha let out an exasperated breath. “When Mav told me about what happened, how could you expect me to just leave you at Hawk’s Lair? You’ve known me for a long time now, none of this should’ve come as a surprise.”

Prince released Sasha’s arm. The silence crept back between them, like a stone wall separating them. This time, Prince was the one to break it down. “Would you have done that for a stranger? What if it was a girl you’ve never met in your life?”

“I don’t know.”

Prince’s head fell back between his knees. “You don’t know,” he muttered as if hearing some sick joke.

“Prince, what happened?” Sasha placed a timid hand on Prince’s shoulder.

Prince shrugged it off. “I couldn’t do a fucking thing, that’s what happened! I tried getting stronger, but I’m still so god damn weak. I couldn’t save her.”

“Who, Prince?”

“The girl, the Mouse. She was being…” Prince’s voice trailed off into silence.

“Prince,” Sasha lifted her arm to give him a hug, but decided against it. She settled for placing her hand on his shoulder instead. “Most people would’ve just let her be, but you tried to help. You at least made the effort.”

“Do you think my goodwill stopped the Hawk? You think the girl cared that I at least made the fucking effort?” Prince tossed Sasha’s hand of his shoulder. “Don’t fucking patronize me!” Prince slammed his fist into the ground, beating the shrubbery in front of him. “It’s not fucking fair!”

“Look, Prince –”

“Don’t you dare say anything.” He turned, his gaze hot enough to melt ice. “You save everyone, Sasha. So why can’t I save a single god damn person? What’s wrong with me?”

Sasha shook her head. “What do you want me to say, Prince?”

Prince bit his lip and looked away. Finally, he responded with a meek, “Nothing.”

“Do you remember when we first met? You were angry back then too. You even looked at me the same way you’re looking at me now. You attacked me whenever I tried getting near you. Do you know why I kept coming back?” Sasha straightened her hand and showed its back to Prince. “It was your fingernails. There was clots of mud in them, and most were broken and bleeding. You dug your mom’s grave with your hands.”

“What’s your point?”

“I remember thinking: I wish I had resolve like that. I was jealous of how strong you were. You’re still the same person. You’re strong, Prince.”

“Not strong enough.”

“Prince, I’m an idiot, so I can afford to do stupid shit. But not you. You’re way too smart to act like I do.”

“Stop.” Prince whispered.

“What was that?”

“I said stop.” His voice came resolute. “Stop with this outlandish bullshit. You always act like there’s something about me that nobody can see but you. If I’m so special, how come I lose so god damn always?” He pounded against his chest. “Guess what, this is all I am!”

“Are you mad at me?”

Prince stood and faced her, his face twisted with anger. “You make it look so damn easy, it probably is that easy to you. And when people ask how you do it, you just say it’s who you are. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Sasha couldn’t even get a word in.

“And then you come in here spewing your bullshit, pretending that we can all be great, that we can do whatever we put our minds to it. Even you have to know that that’s a complete load of shit.” By the time he had finished, he was looming over Sasha, his breaths heavy and deep.

“Are you done yet?” Sasha asked looking up at him. “Look Prince, you want the truth, so here it is. No matter how hard you work, or how strong you become, you’ll never catch up to me. You can try to be like me if you want, but an imitation will never be better than the real thing. So don’t get mad at me because I’m a better me than you are.”

Prince stared in cold fury.

Sasha returned a gentle gaze. “I’m not sure if anything would’ve changed if I had been the one to try and save that girl, but it doesn’t matter. Stop running after me, Prince.” She whispered. “You shine in your own way.”

PRINCE

Prince watched Sasha’s brown hair sway back and forth in the distance. As soon as it disappeared, he shouted, “Fuck!”

She’s right.

“Shit!” Grabbing a rock, he lunged forward and threw it into the river. It splashed up once before being swallowed whole in the murky waters. Prince threw rock after rock into the river, but his anger did not secede him.

When all the rocks around him had disappeared, he began looking for something else to throw or break. Unfortunately, besides the shrubbery around him, there was only dirt. Prince stomped the shrubs. They scratched his feet but he didn’t care.

I need something to break.
The single thought gave him purpose. He continued to the next patch of shrubs and destroyed them.

Soon, there were no more shrubs left. Prince turned his attention to the grass and jabbed his fingers under their roots and pulled. He continued in this manner for entire minutes, furiously savaging whatever he could find on the ground.

Prince twisted around, looking for the next patch of grass. From the corner of his eyes, he saw a glint of red.

“Yo,” Sasha said with a mischievous smile. She stood behind him, watching.

He blinked twice to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, but the image remained. “…” Prince couldn’t form words. He grit his teeth, his embarrassment quickly turning to anger. A low growl escaped his throat.

It took only a single step, but that was the step that set Prince off. As soon as Sasha stepped toward him, he roared and lunged at her. To his surprise, she lowered her shoulder and came straight for him. Prince’s forehead slammed into her shoulder and his neck cocked back. They tumbled into the ground, Sasha on top of Prince.

Prince lashed out with his hands in a wild strike. Sasha caught his wrists and wrestled them down with the weight of her body. Perhaps it was because he was still exhausted from the previous night, but he couldn’t overpower her.

“Prince,” Sasha said, a gentleness in her voice.

Prince closed his eyes, preparing for the blow. He felt it on his lips, but it was soft. He opened his eyes to find Sasha’s face just a few inches away from his, her lips on his. And then it was over.

She released his arms, and straightened her back, still sitting on him. Prince remained on the ground, gaping at her. His heart pounded, each beat like a sledgehammer to his chest. Every thought that ran through his head felt like a train wreck, colliding together in jumbled chaos. But he was smiling.

“You’re a liar, Prince.” Her voice was as light as a feather.

“What?” Prince was barely able to get the word of his mouth.

“This isn’t all you are. Both of us know that.” Sasha leaned in for another kiss.

“Sasha,” Prince said as he grabbed the nape of her neck and pulled her in. Her lips brought a sort of electricity with it, wiping his mind of everything.

She broke off the kiss, pushing herself up with his chest. “It feels like you’re about to have a heart attack.”

Prince smiled back, not bothering with clever responses. He strained his eyes staring at Sasha’s face trying to discern her expression. The sun shone directly above her, hiding everything. It burned his retinas, but he ignored their cries.

She leaned toward him, her gentle crimson eyes staring into his. She rested her forehead on his and closed her eyes, a small smile spread across her face.

“I love you Sasha.” Prince hadn’t meant to say it, but it came out of his mouth nonetheless.

Sasha remained still and silent. Each second that passed became another lump in Prince’s stomach. He watched her, too scared to do more. At last, she leaned off Prince to stand up.

Prince snatched her hand. “Sasha, say something. Please.”

Sasha gave him a weary smile as she slipped her hand out of Prince’s grip. “Prince, one day I’ll say that back to you.”

What does that mean?

“But—” Prince started but a sharp glance from Sasha cut him off.

She paused in thought. Prince had never seen her so careful about what came out of her mouth. “I’ll say it when I can give you, and the rest of our family everything that I want to give to you guys. Then I’ll say those words to you. You and only you. If I said it now, I’m scared I’ll drop everything for it.”

“But we’re done,” Prince said, and somehow, the words brought him relief. “It’s over. We’re no longer Mice.”

Sasha smiled and stood. “We’re not done until I take you guys to Paris. I’ll head back first. You should come home, Prince.” Before Prince could respond, she left.

Prince, for the second time in just a few minutes, watched her hair sway back and forth.