Requiem (37 page)

It took half a
second for the room to depressurise and once the storm of debris
had cleared, Therin moved past Seline and stared through the slit
into the navigation pod. She gestured for Seline to pull it open
the rest of the way. Seline regained enough of her senses to help
pull it open a bit further so they could fit through.

Therin moved
in. Seline switched off her boot magnets and reluctantly followed
her. She removed her hand from the wall and looked up from her feet
towards Therin who was in the centre of the room, facing her. She
wondered why until something nudged her from behind. She started
and turned sharply. She could taste her breakfast in the back of
her throat but managed to keep it down.

'Shit,' she
heard someone say.

Chunks of flesh
and splints of bone swarmed in front of her. Floating at the centre
of the cloud was the top half of a Yurrick body. It was spinning
before her like a legless puppet.

There was a
sharp ringing in her ears. The walls of the ship were closing in
around her. Seline raised her hand to her head. Through her suit
she could imagine the loose rags of skin touching her and, even in
its absence, the blood spreading across her whole body. Exposed
from the torn midsection of the corpse were organs and shattered
ligaments, a spine dangled freely from ragged flaps of skin and
muscle. The pulsing in Seline's head grew. She became dizzy. Her
mind was spinning, like it was orbiting its own planet in wide,
sweeping arcs until the centre of gravity vanished and she was
tossed into the void, running away into silence. With no way to
keep up she simply waved goodbye.

'Take your
coat, it's cold outside!' she said as the blackness fell over her
eyes.

His hand was
always warm when she held it. He was only eleven but his hands were
so rough and coarse like sandpaper. She liked it when he would
bring her flowers. She could never find them herself and always
wondered where he got them from. They had a nice smell, like pencil
sharpenings.

What was his
name?

She walked
home with him, a flower in her hand. It was hot, dry. Only one ball
of cloud in the sky. Her hand was sweating but he still held it.
She thought it was such a sweet thing to do. They walked along the
cracks in the road. Step off a crack, break your mum's back! She
always hated walking in the shadows of the big buildings, they made
her feel cold and she had been told by a girl at school that if you
spent too long in the shade of these particular buildings that
they'll steal your shadow. She wasn't sure if she believed it but
still made sure to walk in the sun.

They usually
cut through the old motel blocks. Those buildings weren't tall so
their shadows couldn't reach very far; it was usually safe. But
this time, it was too late. They'd stayed late at school to help
clean out the old desks before the holidays and the sun had pulled
the shadows right across the parking lot. She said they should go
around. He agreed. He was so sweet.

What was his
name?

They doubled
back and walked along the outside of the motel block. It wasn't a
big detour but it was enough.

The dogs were
wild. There was blood around their mouths and matted through their
fur. By themselves they were normally harmless, but together...

He stood in
front of her. She didn't want him to. She knew he was just trying
to be brave.

What was his
name?

Their pupils
were dilated. Saliva spilled out between exposed teeth and swollen
gums, foaming red with blood and splattering over the ground with
every violent jerk of the head. Their barking hurt her ears. She
covered them. They stood motionless as the dogs paced around them,
biting and snarling at one another.

The boy
elbowed Seline in the ribs. She uncovered her ears.

'The building
behind you. The one with the green door. Can you see it?' he
asked.

It was all
happening so quickly. Her eyes searched for the green door but her
head remained still. She was afraid that one of the dogs might see
what she was doing and try to interfere with their plans. She
finally managed to turn her head when she thought the dogs weren't
looking. The door was far away. At least thirty metres. It led into
a small, two-story building. The roof was missing along with one of
the upper story walls. They might be able to jump across the
rooftops of the surrounding buildings and lose the dogs.

It was such a
good plan.

'I can see
it,' she said.

'That's where
we need to go. Me and Tommy went exploring in there yesterday so I
know the door's unlocked.'

'It's too
far.'

'If we just
move slowly-'

One of the
dogs lunged forward. She kicked at it instinctively. Its spit
splashed onto her leg as it rushed back, tossing its head
frantically from side to side.

'It-it-its
spit landed on me! What do I do?!'

'We have to
get out of here,' he said.

She thought he
hadn't heard her. 'It's burning my leg! What do I do?!'

She felt his
hand on hers. It was hot, even hotter than the spit. It was no
longer quite so frightening. He pushed back against her, towards
the beckoning safety of the green door. She started shuffling back
with him. The dogs continued to circle.

Another lunge.
Another kick. The boy tripped but she managed to hold him up. He
weighed almost nothing.

What was his
name?

Maybe if she
hadn't started running things would have turned out differently.
Maybe they wouldn't have. Doubt and hope. Whoever said hindsight
was twenty-twenty must have been blind. She was running so fast her
brain felt like it was bouncing around in her skull. The door, the
door, the door, was the only thing that she could think of. She
didn't even notice the moment his hand slipped from hers. She
didn't notice that he screamed her name as he fell to the ground,
teeth puncturing and tearing at his skin. She could only hear her
feet colliding with sun-baked dirt and the rattling of the door as
she slammed it shut.

She had shut
that door and saved herself from the scene that defined her guilt.
There were no images of death to recall, only the howling and
snarling sounds of starving dogs, satiated by an inescapable
feeling that she would have called shame, had she known at the
time. It felt like a child's nursery rhyme. A cautionary tale that
never quite managed to get its point across. At least not until you
really thought about it.

You don't have
to be the fastest. You just have to be faster than the slowest
person.

His name was
Miles.

'Seline?
Seline?' It was Mercer's voice.

Seline groaned
in response.

'Kid, relax.
You're burning through a planet's worth of oxygen right now. Slow
it down.'

Her mind had
returned home, dragging its muddied feet through the door. 'How
could that much blood come from one body?' she asked.

'Just focus on
your breathing.'

'It's a lot of
blood.'

'There's no
blood. You're just imagining it. You're in a vacuum remember?' said
Therin.

'Right now,
breathing is more important,' said Mercer.

Seline closed
her eyes and imagined the stream of air flowing down into her lungs
as they expanded and contracted with every breath. Her thumping
heart reluctantly fell into line.

'Are you
alright?' came Sear's voice.

She shook her
aching head as if to clear it. It was like a memory had been
dredged up from some bottomless tar pit and thrown at her feet.
Even though the body was dripping in blackness and stinking of god
knows what it was still very recognisable. Miles. One of her first
friends on Earth. She had liked him and she knew he liked her but
she let him die. He always smiled at her. His cracked, thin lips,
his faded and discoloured eyes that he'd told her he had stolen
from an alien and she believed him. She let him die. She fed him to
the dogs in the sand caked desert and that was the end of that. But
no... there was more. The voice of her mother, comforting her. The
smell of home and the warmth of her body as she pressed her teary
eyes into her mother's stomach. Those strong, slender arms
squeezing around her shoulders, promising to never let go,
promising to lift her up from the pain and hold her there
forever.

'His name was
Miles,' she said to herself.

'Seline? Are
you alright?' repeated Sear in her ear.

The memory
slipped away, not far from view but at least not in the foreground
of her thoughts. 'Yeah,' she replied, 'I think.' She was rubbing
her hands on her stomach and over her forearms making sure they
were real. 'Where am I?'

'You're still
aboard the scout ship. Therin is there with you.'

'What the hell
just happened?'

'We were hoping
you could tell us,' said Mercer. 'All we could see from here was
your heartbeat and blood pressure go into vertical take-off, then
you went unconscious.'

'How long? How
long was I out?'

'Not long. We
should get you back to the ship. How are you feeling?'

'My head
hurts... but I'm fine, I think.'

'We don't want
to be making decisions about your health based on 'I think'.'

Therin placed
her hand on Seline's shoulder. Seline thought for a moment that
Therin was trying to comfort her before the hand took hold of her
suit. Seline was spun around so that she was face to face with
Therin. Therin looked into Seline's eyes, turned her head left then
right.

'She's fine,'
said Therin.

'Half her face
could be missing and you'd still say that,' answered Mercer.

'Don't put that
picture in my head,' said Seline.

'Sorry, Seline.
Didn't mean to scare you. I'm sure that pretty face of yours is
fine... I think.'

'That's not
funny.'

'I know and
neither is you staying over there in the condition you're in.'

'It's okay.
Therin's right,' she said, trying to convince herself of her own
courage. 'I just didn't expect it. Where... where did the body
go?'

'The body's
behind you,' said Therin.

Seline
swallowed. She could almost taste the protein paste she'd had for
breakfast. 'I don't know what will happen if I see that again,' she
said.

Might find
another ghost. Another body in your head that you threw into the
tar pit.

'Shut up,' she
muttered to herself.

'Then wait
outside,' said Therin.

'What are you
going to do with the body?'

'I'm going to
check it like I did the others then I'm going to find the secondary
black box.'

Therin moved
past Seline towards the body. Seline didn't turn. She looked
directly at the wall. There was more lab equipment and a larger
console that curved around like the top half of a horseshoe. The
console looked severely damaged. The screen had been completely
smashed out and most of its covering panels had been bent outward
as if it had exploded from the inside.

'How do you do
it?' Seline asked.

'Do what?' said
Therin.

'See something
like that... his body... his spine and...' she shook her head to
dissolve the thought. 'How do you not even flinch?'

'I wouldn't be
here if I were squeamish.'

'But...
how?'

'When I see a
dead body, it helps not to think of it as a person, not even as a
body, simply as an object. There comes a time for mourning but not
when there is a job to do.'

Seline thought
about this for a moment.

'You think it
too cold, Seline?'

'I don't think
I could do that... How do you stop yourself from just becoming a
machine?'

'When I deem
something worthy of emotional investment then I will do so.'

Seline thought
of when Therin had her pinned to the wall by her throat and then of
her own hand crunching cartilage beneath carbon fibre knuckles.
Therin had only used her anger then as a tool. She could separate
emotion and logic with the flick of a switch. Seline wondered at
this and a thought of Sear and the blackbox flashed in her
mind.

'And
all
Yurrick are like that?' Seline asked

'Most,' said
Therin. 'However, we are in the middle of finding out what happened
to these scouts. That discussion can wait.'

'… Right.'

'His eyes
aren't like the other two. They're still black.'

Seline turned
off her night-vision before turning around. She couldn't make out
the Yurrick's body but could see the few glowing lights that came
from the panel on Therin's right arm. She activated the scanning
light from her palm again. Seline looked away as Therin ran the
light over the body.

'It's clear,'
she said and turned from the body towards the console on the room's
floor.

'The console
looks busted,' said Seline. 'Do you think the black box is
alright?'

'The damage is
extensive but black boxes are made exactly for situations like
this.'

Therin
approached the middle of the horse shoe console. With her legs
still drifting freely behind her, she pulled herself in close,
unclipped the panel and flung it behind her. She thrust her arm
into the compartment up to her shoulder. With jerk of her arm she
pulled out a small black box. She examined it before attaching it
to the panel on her forearm with a retractable cable.

After a moment
she said: 'Confirm transfer of data from emergency memory
drive?'

'Confirmed,'
Mercer replied.

Therin
activated the magnets in her boots and was sucked to the floor.
Seline wondered why then noticed that Therin was projecting a
screen onto the blank wall. Seline shifted forward and turned left
so she could see the projection properly.

'I thought you
were going to wait outside,' Therin said.