REPRESENTED (12 page)

             
Karin walked with Cassie the few blocks to the streetcar stop and they talked all the way.  This was the warm and friendly version that Cassie wondered why more people didn’t know about.  Instead the cold and calculating woman that everyone wondered at was what they talked about.  After seeing the silly and fun Karin in Santa Monica Cassie marveled at this multi-faceted woman.

             
The streetcar took them downtown where Karin walked them all over seeing the sights.  They stopped in Chinatown for a nice late lunch which Cassie wouldn’t have been confident ordering but which Karin felt no compunction ordering for both of them.  They saw people holding hands all over and when Cassie tried to hold Karin’s she kindly said “I don’t think that’s a good idea at this point, what if someone recognizes you and takes a picture.  That would be too much pressure at this stage.”  Cassie had to agree but she had to also wonder where exactly this was going.  She didn’t worry about it though as she and Karin went all over San Francisco and enjoyed each other. 

             
They took a taxi to the Presidio and walked in the park talking endlessly or rather Cassie felt she talked and Karin listened or asked pertinent questions.  Karin learned how Cassie had started in music, her goals, her dreams, and her ambitions.  She asked quite a few very astute questions that had Cassie thinking about how to achieve those same goals, dreams, and ambitions in ways she hadn’t thought about in years.  Many people thought she had been foolish to come out the last year and it was apparent that her being gay had hurt her career but Karin pointed out that people had short term memory loss and it was a way of razzing her, she had to come through on the other side as a stronger person if she could just hold out.  She pointed out what had happened to Ellen DeGeneres when she had come out and how her career was bigger and better after the first three years of nothing.

             
“So I just have to wait another two years before I get the success I’m due?” Cassie asked.

             
Karin nodded and said “maybe, but in the meantime get a portfolio of your work ready and waiting and then blow people away with it.  There are steps that I’m sure you need to make as you rise in fame.  People won’t wait for you; they will pass you by if you’re not taking care of business or if you are wallowing in self-pity.”

             
Cassie had to admit that Karin’s advice was well founded.  She had taken the career of several author’s and turned them around.  They had the talent, they didn’t have the drive or the know-how and she did.  There were New York best-selling author’s on her list that raved about her work.  Cassie could understand why after listening to her sound advice.

             
They went to Pier 39 for dinner, a taxi dropped them off at the end and they enjoyed window shopping until they came to the end where several restaurants sat.  As it didn’t require a reservation they took advantage and had a delightful meal together.  “What is it about piers that you keep taking me to them?” Cassie teased.

             
“Wait, this is only the west coast, maybe I should take you to Atlantic City” Karin teased in return.

             
“You’d love the Mississippi and we could go on a riverboat there” Cassie’s Southern twang was never more evident than at that moment.

             
“I grew up in Wisconsin, I’ve been over the Mississippi many times but never on a riverboat, that would be fun!” she smiled into Cassie’s eyes.  They were so beautiful.

             
They walked off their delicious dinner as they window shopped back towards the city and caught a taxi back to the hotel.  As Cassie walked Karin up to her room she wondered what would happen now, they both had quieted after the taxi had dropped them off.  Karin opened her door and turned to wish Cassie a good night.

             
“I’m going to kiss you!” she stated it, not asking, not waiting for permission as she leaned in and pushed her lips against Karin’s.

             
Karin was surprised, that didn’t happen often, usually she could read the signs but obviously Cassie had planned this, had wanted it.  Karin didn’t mind, she had wanted it too but in her plan to take it slow perhaps she had gone a little too slow.

             
Cassie’s lips against Karin’s were soft and yet determined.  At first they were exploratory, questioning, seeking a response.  Karin responded, kissing back for all she was worth, giving as much as taking, letting her lips tell a story without saying the words.  She had wanted this as much as Cassie for a while, had wondered for days how to go there without seeming too pushy or too fast.

             
Cassie was pleasantly surprised but then why should she be?  Karin was good at her job, why wouldn’t she be good at everything she did, kissing included.  It made her think of other things she wanted to try...

             
Karin broke off the kiss when it turned into two, then three, she then stopped counting.  They were both breathing heavily as she leaned her forehead against Cassie’s but not before she had kissed that too.  She held the woman in her arms and avoided her attempt to kiss her again.  “I think we should stop” she said reluctantly.

             
“Why?” Cassie asked confused and uncertain.

             
Karin pulled back so she could look into Cassie’s melting gray eyes.  They looked huge in the lights from the outdoor balcony they had walked up on.  “Because I want to take this slow.  I’m too old to just hop into the sack.  I want a relationship.  We have a good friendship going, sex would confuse the issue.”

             
Cassie laughed “you’re not old!”

             
Karin smiled “good genetics but yes, I’m old.  I want a lot from you Cassie.  I’m willing to take it slow to get what I want and yes, someday I want to go to bed with you but not before we have the building blocks for more.”

             
Cassie swallowed her disappointment.  It was logical; it was actually a good idea.  She wanted this woman she knew but she had to agree it made sense to go slow and get to know each other better.  She sighed and smiled “you’re right, too often women let their emotions get in the way.”

             
Karin looked at her expressive face and asked “do you want a quick tumble in the sheets or would you like more?”

             
Cassie could hear the warning in Karin’s voice “I want a relationship with you.  I guess I was just letting my hormone’s get away from me.”

             
Karin smiled.  Too often women let sex get in the way of having a good relationship.  They already knew they were compatible as friends.  They had had a marvelous time together and she didn’t want sex getting in the way of them having more.  “Cassie, don’t be in doubt here.  I want you.  I could go to bed with you easily, but I have reached a point in my life that I don’t want just sex.  I want the whole package.  Do you?”  She hoped for the right answer to that question.  She had been in too many disastrous relationships to screw this one up.

             
“Absolutely” Cassie smiled as she leaned in to put a peck on Karin’s lips before she hugged her and pulled away “I guess you’re right, sex would complicate things before you and I even have a chance to figure them out.”

             
Standing a foot apart with the door to her room open Karin looked at the beautiful Cassie Summers.  Yes, she wanted this woman.  She had enjoyed her immensely as they got to know each other.  She wanted a hell of a lot more than a tumble in the sheets.  She was too damn old to play games anymore.  She wanted a future with someone, and not just anyone.  It wouldn’t be hard to pull her into the room and start making love to her but it would be a mistake.

             
“Goodnight Cassie, see you in the morning?”

             
Cassie smiled as she realized she was dismissed.  She was disappointed but at the same time she had at least kissed her and made her intentions known.  They both knew where this was going, or at least they both hoped so.

             
The next day they enjoyed their time together.  Karin used her car and they drove around hopelessly lost and saw parts of San Francisco that weren’t in the tourist books.  They went across the Golden Gate Bridge and stopped at a park on the far side taking pictures in front of a huge slice of a tree that had apparently washed up on the beach years ago.  It was enormous.  The day started out foggy and dreary and after the sun burned off they both had to shed their jackets.  Cassie admired the satin like blouse that Karin wore under her nice little casual suit.  Karin admired the tight little tee that Cassie wore showing off her slender figure.  Something had changed though; they touched and brushed against each other more often whether by intention or accident. 

             
They were sitting in a park at the top of San Francisco as Karin leaned back, her auburn hair was unbound and Cassie desperately wanted to run her fingers through the mass, it was so thick and luxurious.  “I often think I should get a house here” Karin confided.

             
“Here?” Cassie looked around at the beautiful houses in a row that had been used in countless movie scenes much less TV shows, they were almost a symbol of San Francisco they were so recognizable.

             
“Well, somewhere here in the city.  It would certainly be more convenient than staying in hotels and I really need to get rid of my house in Milwaukee.”

             
“Why do you still have the house in Milwaukee?”

             
“It was convenient for the boys when they needed to go home from school” she informed Cassie casually.

             
“Boys?” she asked confused.

             
“My sons” Karin said as she looked closer at one of the houses.  She missed the shock on Cassie’s face.

             
“You have sons?” Cassie choked out.  Something about her voice had Karin turning to look at her.

             
“I thought I mentioned that...” she looked to see if Cassie was alarmed and could see something she didn’t identify on her face.

             
“No, you never mentioned the fact that you have sons.  How many?” she asked feeling a little panic stricken.  There was so much she didn’t know about this woman after all.

             
“Just two, they are both in Wisconsin.  The house in Milwaukee is home but now that they are both out of college I should move out and get my things in one place.  Maybe here” she mused as she looked again at the pretty row of houses.

             
“How old are your sons?” Cassie asked.

             
Karin turned back as she leaned closer to Cassie “they are in their twenties, why?”

             
“I just can’t imagine you with twenty something son’s” Cassie breathed.  She wasn’t unaffected by Karin being so close.

             
“Is that a problem?”

             
“No, should it be?”

             
“You seem...upset?”

             
“Just surprised.  You never mentioned them before....”

             
Karin shrugged “they just never came up.  What about you?  Do you have children, brothers, sisters, parents?”

             
“I have a father and a brother in Kansas where I come from, but then I’m sure your research told you that.”

             
Karin grinned, she was right, she already knew that.  “Do you want children?” she asked curious.

             
Cassie immediately shook her head, her mane of blonde curls shaking with it “no, I don’t want to bring a child into this world, it’s too messed up.  I was too messed up for too long.  Now, I’m too old.”

             
“I had mine very young.  When they were grown I became the success I am today.  I am glad I didn’t wait or I would never have had them at all.  They are a bonus.  Now that they are adults I can enjoy them in ways I couldn’t when they were growing up.  I’m glad I had them.  I wouldn’t want them at this age though.  You’re not too old if you really wanted one though...” she said kindly watching Cassie’s face.

             
“I enjoy children, it’s not that I don’t, but for a long time I had to be selfish for my career and now, I just don’t think I do want them.  It happens that way sometimes.”

             
Karin had to agree.  She saw so many people who just should not have them and did anyway.  She dealt with the brilliant authors who wrote of childhoods screwed up by well-meaning adults who should just never have had children.  She thought it was sad but no one knew how touched she was by it.  She did her job for them regardless of how screwed up they were or her personal feelings.  “Won’t you regret not having them when you’re old and gray?”

             
“I’ll have you then won’t I” Cassie grinned as she leaned in and kissed Karin very lightly on the lips.  It was the first time they had kissed today and Karin was pleased.  She looked around afterwards and said “let’s get some food” as she rose and pulled Cassie up from their reclined positions.