Repair Me (3 page)

             
I watched him as I closed the door behind me. My heart beating rapidly as a teenager would feel after sneaking from the house and re-entering.  I hoped for an understanding Anthony. I was the immature girlfriend, that he was building like a high paid project. His foot tapped at the floor with anticipation, but his attitude changed when he noticed that Natalia was with me. “Avery.” He stood when he saw my appearance. “Natalia it's great to see you.” I knew his words were false. He could care less to thank Natalia for anything. If anything he thought she was a nuisance in our life. He had no respect for her.

             
He reached his arm around her shoulder, thanking her. “Yeah it’s great to see you too, Anthony. Sorry for bringing her back so late. She had a great time listening to the band thought, right?” She questioned me.

             
“They are great.” I agreed as I thought about the four handsome men that I drooled over all night.  Natalia and Anthony were so completely different. She was wild, adventurous and outgoing. Anthony was quiet and hard working. I didn’t know Anthony when he was my age but I never pictured him to be the one to hang out at the bar or to even be attracted to a woman like Natalia. And I was positive Natalia would never agree to date a man like Anthony. He was raised in a strong Italian family to do nothing but succeed. His goal was to own what ever property he wanted and he was doing a good job at fulfilling his dreams. He took care of me very well and even paid my tuition and bought me a car to drive me to school. He insisted that I didn’t work and only focus on my school work. 

             
We met a year ago when I was doing temp work for his Dad’s company.  I hated the job and was glad it was only temporary. He won my heart on our first date when he promised me the world. He always told me I was better than a girl working temp work. He said I deserved a high respected job with my knowledge. I always dreamed of living with him and he assured me that I would be able to graduate college without having to work in the mean time. I was far from being a gold digger, never expected anything, he just controlled my thoughts. In all honesty he controlled my life and I basically dealt with it. I knew that he was over protective because he wanted me to have a successful career like his own.  I began understanding that I really did want a good successful career and he promised that he could lead me in that direction.

             
Natalia didn’t know of our entire relationship but she didn’t agree with it. She reminded me that I was living with a father figure instead of a boyfriend. A controlling father figure on top of it. In fact she hated him for pulling me far away from her. I knew deep down that he could never pull me away completely. Trying my hardest I reminded myself that wouldn't happen, or at least I hoped it never would. He wasn't really a father figure, he was a mature boyfriend that thought about my future.

             
Hoping that now Natalia having a strong relationship with Scott, she would understand my love life, but she didn't. Scott loved her for who she was and never expected to change her ways like Anthony had managed to control mine. I looked between the two of the closest people in my life when Natalia finally spoke up. “Well I better get going. I know you have studying tomorrow.  Do you want me to help you out? I don’t mind.”

             
I looked at Anthony as he watched the clock and I knew he was sighing under his breath. “No, I’ll be okay. I think this one should be pretty easy. Thanks though and thanks for the fun girls night out.”

             
“Thank you Natalia for taking Avery out tonight, glad to hear you girls had a nice time.” Anthony thanked. She turned and left the house with a small wave and big smile. Turning from the door, waving back to her, I noticed Anthony glaring at me with deep thoughts. “One of these days, Avery,” his voice changed instantly as Natalia walked to her car. I stepped back only causing him to release an evil grin and a nasty chuckle “you’ll finally find a mature friend. She’s about as childish as they come. For heavens sake she is dating a fucking rock star. Is that what you want?” I shook my head.

             
He was talking about my best friend. The person that had stuck by my side through thick and thin. She was there when no one else was. When I was quiet, she spoke my words for me. “Natalia is a great person, Anthony, just give her a chance. Please, for me.” I watched her headlights glare through the living room as she reversed out of the driveway.

             
He laughed at me as if he couldn’t understand my words, as if I were a child. I tried to understand his world. I wanted a good life and he promised he knew how to achieve that. I knew that he really loved me but he wanted me to grow up. Truth was that I was only twenty-two. What did he expect from me? I was doing well in school, I treated him well and I played the ‘wife role’ perfectly. “I could care less whether you embarrass yourself,” and his words grew deeper and louder as he pointed his finger until it stopped at the tip of my nose “but, Avery, you
Will Not
embarrass me during your play time.” His finger pressed just enough to push my head slightly.

             
“Anthony, going out with my friend of many years is not called play time. We went for dinner and then to watch her boyfriend perform with his band.” I took a long deep breath as he shook his head while he bit his bottom lip. After watching my best friend have an innocent care free night. I wanted that and I needed to speak my mind even if it meant he would be upset from my words. “I suggest you loosen up. I’m a fucking grown woman.”

             
I watched his hand move in slow motion, his biceps bulging as he flexed his arm back then swung forward as his hand smacked across my face, causing me to lose my balance. He stood over me and laughed. “A grown woman, Avery? Ha, then act like it.” He walked away, leaving me to brush my knees off and crying as I helped myself towards the couch.

             
Crying pitifully I tried to weigh out my guilt and my innocence. I grabbed the throw blanket off the black leather couch. After many sobs I laid thinking of the good things with Anthony. He loved me, he adored me and would do anything he could. Even if he had to go far out of his way, just to please me. We had traveled the country over the last year as he did business trips, offering to take me with anytime. He loved showing me off and bragged to his friends about his smart and beautiful girlfriend. During business trips every so often he would introduce me as his fiancee. Although he had never gone out of his way to actually propose to me. I knew he wanted the best for me and obviously I wasn’t meeting his expectations.

☼

             
The next morning I woke to the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen. Anthony tip toed into the living room where I laid. I kept my eyes closed as if I were still sleeping and he sat at my side. “Good morning, Avery.” He bent to kiss my cheek and whispered in my ear. My stomach knotted as he touched me.

             
I rubbed my eyes as the morning sun beamed through the large windows. “Good morning.” I mumbled.

             
“Made you some coffee, and I brought you a robe. It’s cold down here baby.” He wrapped his arm over my shoulder as I sat up slowly. His arm dropped to my back and rubbing over me softly. I took the coffee mug from his hand and blew the steam before sipping.

             
“Thanks.” Was all I could say. I wanted short answers to his sweet talk. Anthony was an ass at times but he tried to make up for it later on. He never apologized for anything he ever did to me and I never expected him to. He was intimidating and he would never lower his self to believe that he was wrong.

             
Anthony took me out for breakfast and we took a long ride through the country. He was very romantic at times as he held my hand during the car ride.  I opened the mirror under my visor to look at my lip gloss and immediately noticed the light bruise along my jaw line where Anthony had marked me the night before. He had realized what I was looking at. “Makeup, Avery, that’s all you need.” He smiled and I dropped my eyes to my lap as I returned the visor to its spot. I laughed to myself at the thought that Anthony could care less whether he hurt me. It wasn't an apology, it was merely an excuse. He loved the way he had power in our relationship.

             
He was all I had though. My Dad disappeared when I was a toddler and my Mom ran away with her truck driver boyfriend when I was a senior in high school. She reminded me that I was a legal adult and needed to take care of myself. I had high goals and promised myself that I would make something out of myself. I was excited to get the temp job as a receptionist at Anthony’s Dad’s business but caught off guard when I was let go in such a short time. It left me with no money to pay the rent at the apartment that my Mom had left behind. Natalia had moved to the suburbs of Chicago and Anthony lived in the same area. When I met him and started dating it was clear to agree to move in with him. I left everything behind and let the apartment go. He covered me in new clothes and paid my first year of tuition. I believed I had hit my first goal. I never wanted to count on someone to care for me but he insisted on making sure I went to a decent school and follow my dreams.

Chapter 2

              The next week went by fast and Anthony was already packing for his business trip to Houston, promising to return by Monday. I needed the time alone, I was desperate for answers.

             
“I know you had a great time last Friday and I’m sure Anthony is already heading to the airport so when am I picking you up, Avery?” Natalia begged. “And I’m not buying your excuses this time!” She really wasn't begging, she was demanding this time.

             
She was right I did have a blast. It was nice to go out and act my age. I was tired of being stuck in the house. And The Pits were wonderful and they were playing at CJ’s again, the bar I went with Natalia the previous weekend. I knew I couldn’t turn her down. “Okay I give in.”

             
“I’ll pick you up around 8:30, sound good?” I could hear in her voice that she was beyond thrilled that she had talked me into going 2 weekends in a row. It had been months since I had agreed to go out with Natalia and now I was promising to go again. That was really not like me.

             
“Yes, I guess so.” I fought with myself with Anthony's words from the previous weekend, but Anthony was gone, just like Natalia said. Reassuring myself, I knew after a year, Anthony never missed any of his business trips and never once came home early.

             
It was already 7 o’clock so I started searching through my clothes and came across a black halter top dress that Natalia gave me months ago. I would have never dreamed of even daring to wear it before. Tonight I felt like a rebel though. The back dropped low enough to expose my bare skin. I paired it with animal printed black and white stilettos.  As I slipped it over my body, I watched myself in the full length mirror and was happy with the way it worked with my curves. I looked amazing. The dress was beyond form fitting and Anthony would've killed me, literally, if he found me wearing this to a bar.

             
“Holy shit, girl, you look fucking awesome!” Natalia yelled out the window when I stepped out the door. She let out a loud whistle while I made my way to the passenger door. Causing my cheeks to burn, I pushed my finger to my lips, signaling for her to lower her voice in my quiet neighborhood. “I knew you’d work that dress one day.”

             
“Hmm thanks. If only Anthony knew.” I smiled at Natalia as I climbed into her tall Yukon. The vehicle sure didn't match her body, but it was identical to her personality.

☼

              CJ’s was packed again and Natalia pushed her tiny elbows through the crowd until we met the guys at the front table. “Hey baby.” Scott pulled her into his arms. “Avery, holy shit your out again.” Trying to cover my over exposed body, I crossed my arms over my chest.

             
“Yeah I couldn’t turn Natalia’s invitation down. You guys were awesome.” I blushed.

             
Natalia continued snuggling up with Scott, as he wrapped his long arms around her tiny waist. I looked around the bar as the three of us sat alone at the table. It was a similar crowd from the previous weekend and began wondering if they were just normal.  As I thought before, I assumed many of them were college students just having a good time and adoring The Pits.

             
Trying to keep my thoughts from worry, I tried to promise myself not to think of Anthony. I merely smiled and watched over the other people. I spot Vince and Justin in the corner throwing darts with two other guys. Justin was jumping on Vince's back  as he threw the dart with a terrible throw. Justin was half the size of Vince, so Vince shrugged him off and they both laughed.

             
I noticed the sparkling blue eyes hit my face across the room as I glanced over the crowd. Davien shot me a soft grin when I caught his eye, then winked with notice. I knew I wasn’t seeing things, but the looks he gave, left me wondering. He shook his head when I tried to look in the opposite direction and heat rose to my cheeks. I tried to focus my eyes in the other end of the bar. Davien was the man I needed to stay far away from. Being the center man, brought the attention from every woman in the building,. He was bad, he was a slut, he was sexy and he was everything I wanted. But Davien was the man I was determined to avoid. I wanted nothing to do with his fame or the wild life he was living.

             
“We’re hitting the stage in about twenty minutes, want something to drink, Avery?” Scott yelled over the background music. “Beer, mixed drink, shots?”

             
“Surprise me.” I couldn’t believe what I had said but they both exchanged looks with disbelief. “I mean what ever your getting I guess.”

             
Before Scott could leave for the bar a young waitress stopped at out table and looked at Natalia. “Are you Avery?” She spoke over the noise. I could tell she was in a hurry and a large crowd was waiting for her services.

             
Natalia pointed at me. “No that’s Avery, what’s up?” She questioned.

             
The lady dropped a large shot glass with another small shot glass in the middle. “This is yours.” Then she sat a blue drink next to the shot. “Anything else guys?”

             
Natalia shook her head and the waitress left the table seeming to be annoyed. “Drink up.” Scott laughed as he lift his beer .“Cheers to a good night out.”

             
I picked my glass up and examined it. When I looked up I noticed those same two bright blue eyes watching my every move. He licked his lips and continued staring my way. He was covered in flirtatious girls, grabbing at his arms, but he seemed to ignore each one as he eyed me. It made me sick to my stomach to watch a man drowned in women and I was sure he had slept with most of them. If not all. Possibly many at the same time. He definitely came across as a man with plenty of experience and dropped women like nothing. He had the bad boy image with the pretty boy looks. The mixture was dangerous.

             
I was happy I had a faithful man that I trusted. He repeatedly told me that he had no desire to be with another woman. He was satisfied with me and only me. I felt secure with his words, his trust, his devotion to me. I didn't agree with everything he didn't but I managed to push things to side on many occasions. It was something he would grow out of eventually. Like he said, when I grow up.

             
Before I gave it a second thought, I threw the shot down my throat. Leaving a trail of burning liquid falling down my chest. “Wheeew.” I reached for my blue drink and washed away the heat. It had been awhile since I did shots and I knew it was gonna hit me hard and fast!

             
“Thanks for the shot, Scott, but I don’t think I needed that quite yet.” I giggled as I straightened my posture in the chair hoping my dress wasn't exposing anything I didn't need to show.

             
“I know, but I guess Davien didn’t.” My eyes widened, wishing I had never looked his way. Of course he bought me a drink, of course that’s why he was watching my every move. Obviously he found amusement in watching the innocent girl get drunk.

             
“We’re hitting the stage in about 20 minutes, Scott.” I looked over my shoulder and Davien was at the table already and was holding the back of my chair. Speak of the devil. Scott nodded his head to the reminder. “How is your drink, Avery?” Davien spoke with a guilty voice. He looked amazing once again with natural, exotic features. He was bold and never seemed to be embarrassed. The bad boy looked dangerous, with a devilish grin to his gorgeous face.

             
“I wasn’t quite ready for shots yet, but thanks.” I replied to the most sexy looking man. Anthony was extremely attractive, well kept and he had a body like an athlete, but Davien put him to shame. The way he used his eyes and naughty grin had me squirming in my seat.

             
He held his hand out. “Can I have a dance before we hit the stage?” I was surprised he was talking to me. When I was caught off guard I looked around the table, looking for words. Natalia shot dirty looks my way, warning me that I better go before she kicked my ass. “C’mon just one dance. I need it for good luck.” Was this a game? A game that the guys at CJ's played on the innocent, not as attractive girls? Or was this just Davien's game? The man was just covered in gorgeous women who were more than willing to dance with him all night.

             
Before I could answer, he pulled my hand as I jumped from my chair then guided me to the small area for dancing. Over the the loud speakers I recognized one of my favorite songs, 'Love Somebody' by Maroon 5, when it started playing. His hand was strong, very strong in fact, but the skin around his fingers was soft.  Yet the pads to his fingers were slightly ruff, most likely from his use of the guitar. I wanted to pull away from him, but my body was stuck to his hand.

             
When we reached the area that he led us to, he pulled my lower back until my stomach rest against his waist. He held me tight as we moved with the song. I held onto his well defined biceps and kept my distance far enough so he couldn’t feel my racing heart.  The women around us gave me looks of all sorts. Some women rolled their eyes in disgust, other women watching as they wished they were in my place. I wondered how many of these same women had been in these arms, having the exact feelings at one time.

             
“You okay?” He questioned as his eyes looked down to meet mine and adding a half grin to show a one sided dimple that I had never noticed before. “You look embarrassed to be seen dancing with me.” The devilish look took over his face again.

             
He knew he was hot and of course he knew that all of the ladies wanted to him and he was more than willing to flirt with each one. I shook my head, showing him a nervous smile. Trying to calm me, he reached his hands from my waist and pulled my hands from his arms. He lift my hands over his head and wrapped them securely around his neck, pulling me tight against his chest. I could stay here forever. I could smell every styling product from his hair, the body wash he used and the light cologne he had splashed. He was amazing and the next two minutes he would hold me in his arms. I rest my head on his shoulder and exhaled slowly with relief.

             
Davien lowered his hands back around my waist. This time leaving his thumbs out and his fingers fell under the fabric from the low dip in the back of my dress. My breathing quickened when I felt his hands touch my unexposed skin. I could hear a soft moan from his chest when he placed his hands in place. Or at least I felt the moan. His lips came closer to my side, leaving me wondering if he was daring to kiss me. Like Natalia told me previously, it was all an act, but I was thinking at that very moment I was willing to play a part in this act. He began softly whispering the words from the song to my ear. I could hear his voice well enough to make out the words but he kept it private, personal time he gave to me alone. He sounded amazing, better than I had ever heard him on stage. His words became romantic and he made the lyrics sound like he was telling the story.

             
Listening to the perfect words from Davien's lips caused my breathing to pick up and my hands were trembling around him. Adam Levine told the story about a man wanting to fall in love, yet scared.  Words that would’ve made me beg for his love if I was single. But I wasn’t. I had a boyfriend, he was out of town but just this one moment I tried to forget about him. The feeling of being in another mans arms was unbelievable. I continued reminding myself that he spent many moments with
many
other women doing this exact thing. Most likely on a daily basis.

             
The whispers continued as he sang  to my ear. The private moment that only we could hear, just Davien and me.  He made my cheeks warm as his lips brushed against my ear. I squirmed as his mouth caressed against me. When certain words caused his lips to open and close, I almost felt like he was kissing my earlobe. I knew he wasn't, but I pretended for  one minute, just one minute that I cherished with no one knowing, I felt like we were alone, just the two of us, holding each other tightly. I felt like he was mine as he sang a personal song of love to me.  Like Anthony didn't exist.

             
The truth was that I was just another woman on another night. This was his way of thanking his fans for coming out.  More than anything, I had no desire to be with him. Right? The sound over the speaker interrupted our song with announcement of Davien’s show. I began assuming that they had a normal announcement of the show each night. “The Pits will be on stage in the next few minutes, so grab your drink and let’s get the show started.” The announcement interrupted the song, but he continued singing anyways.

             
His eyes were closed loosely and he eventually pulled away and slowly opened his eyes. “Thanks, Avery, I needed that.” He smiled. “Thanks again for coming out.”

             
“I really liked the song, Davien,... one of my favorites.” I smiled with a wide grin.

             
“Yeah me too. That's why I requested them to play it while we danced.” Within seconds he was walking me back to the table and taking a sip from his beer before running up the stairs to the stage. Scott followed him to the stage that was covered in black walls and the soft blue lights that faced towards The Pits.