Rent-A-Bride (9 page)

Almost two hours later Ed finally returned with a large white envelop. As he passed her chair Amelia was slightly startled when he suddenly bent and placed a soft kiss on her lips. As he continued on to the bed he held the certificate in his hand but somehow the white envelope ended up on Amelia’s lap.

She glanced down at it and read
FedEx Kinko’s
in purple ink across the front. As discreetly as possible she folded the envelope and slipped it into her purse. The spontaneous kiss was just a cover to slip the envelope to her but still…she licked her lips searching for a trace of his taste.

“See, Pop. Told you I had it at home.” He was holding the certificate so Stanley could view it.

Stanley squinted at the page. “Hang on. Let me find my glasses.” He reached over and opened the drawer of his nightstand and moving his hand around inside was unable to find them. “Sugar, can you give me a hand here.”

Amelia hurried around the bed and easily found the glasses pushed to the back of the drawer. Handing them over she glanced up at Ed who’s attention was on Stanley.
His lips are so soft
.

Stanley took the counterfeit certificate. “My, my, isn’t this fancy.” He smiled at Amelia. “Back when me and my Carla were married our little simply certificate wasn’t nearly anything so nice.”

Ed’s eyes met hers and she stifled her laughter at the guilty expression on his face.

“ As you can see we’re all ready to go.” Ed slipped the certificate through Stanley’s fingers.

Stanley reached over and touched Ed’s hand. “I don’t mean to rush you, son. I know it’s selfish I just really want to see this.”

Ed placed his hand over Stanley’s. “It’s no problem, Pop.” He smiled at Amelia. “No use putting off the inevitable.”

Amelia watched the interaction between the two men and felt as if she shouldn’t be there. The genuine love and affection they shared seemed somehow compromised by her deception.

Shortly after, Stanley’s medication started to work and he began dozing off to sleep. Ed gestured to Amelia and they both stood to leave.

“Pop, we’re leaving now. But we’ll be back tomorrow.”

Stanley cracked his drowsy eyes and nodded. “Son, Amelia is a wonderful girl. I am so happy you found her.” His head turned on the pillow and then he was sound asleep.

Amelia and Ed’s eyes met over the bed and she could see that he was not nearly as comfortable with all this as she had assumed.

The elevator ride to the lobby was taken in silence as they both seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. When they reached the bottom level Ed turned to her. “By the way, we need a Minister, or Justice Of The Peace for our ceremony Saturday.”

Something in her facial expression must’ve showed her alarm. Because he laughed out loud. “Don’t look at me like that.” He held up his hand. “I promise, I’m not trying to secretly marry you.”

Amelia felt herself blushing. “I know that.”

“If you know of anyone let them know I’ll pay them five hundred dollars to perform our fake wedding.”

The man was certainly free with his funds.
Amelia smiled slowly as an idea came to her. “As a matter of fact I just might know of someone.”

• • •

“I sure as hell hope you know what you’re doing.” Steve said while pulling on a leather gauntlet.

“I do.” Ed smiled at him as he donned his own glove. “I’m telling you man she’s perfect.”

“I have to admit the improvement in Stanley has been incredible.” Steve reached into the large cage by his side and brought out a small falcon whose head was covered with a cloth hood. “And if she is responsible for that then I wish you both every success.”

Ed stood beside another large catch that contained Merlin. The large, red tailed hawk he’d raised from an eyas. He shielded his eyes as Steve released his falcon, Icarus, and like his namesake the bird raced for the sun.

During the first year of their friendship Steve had introduced Ed to falconry. To say the idea of training birds of prey to hunt field rodents was less than appealing would’ve been an understatement. But then Steve had convinced Ed to come hunting with him once. And once was all it took for Ed to see Steve’s falcon take to the sky like something out of an old medieval painting and he’d been hooked on the sport ever since. Now the two hunted together regularly. But of course they did not fly their birds simultaneously. The field of prey in the state park where they hunted was large…but not large enough.

“I want you to be my best man.” Ed said.

Steve burst into laughter. “Are you kidding me?”

“Fine. If you don’t want to do it.” Ed frowned slightly annoyed by his friend’s reaction.

“No, no, no. I didn’t say that.” Steve touched his gloved finger to his chin. “In fact, I wouldn’t miss this spectacle for anything.”

“Good. Tomorrow morning and dress appropriately.”

“How did you find this girl?”

“Actually I found her agent on an agent directory but turns out the guy is a real piece of work.”

“Didn’t you check him out?” Steve was watching his bird as he spoke. The tiny bells on his legs giving away his location even among the tree tops.

Ed shook his head. “No time. I just went with the first one I saw.”

“Let me guess…Adams?”

Ed cast his friend a guilty glance. “Aames.”

Steve burst into another fit of laughter.

“Glad you find this so amusing.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. It worked out great. She is just what I needed.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “Oh?”

Ed realized one of the problems with friends was they knew you too well. He chuckled. “I won’t lie to you she’s sexy as hell.”

“You don’t have to tell me. I saw her, remember?” Steve spotted his bird taking a leisurely glide over the surface of a nearby lake. “He’s getting lazy in his old age.”

Ed’s expression took on a faraway look as a small smile formed. “I don’t know, man. There is something else there too. She had this kinda sweetness about her, you know?”

Steve glanced at him and Ed was surprised by the serious concern in his eyes. “What?”

Steve shrugged then whistled loudly. Icarus swooped in a wide circle and returned to him landing gently on his outstretched arm. “I’ll say it again…I sure as hell hope you know what you’re doing.”

S
he told him eleven o’clock sharp! Amelia checked her watch again and then glanced down the hall, left and then right. Her eyes widened as she took in the mustard colored striped atrocity hurrying down the hall toward her. The suit her brother was wearing looked like something from the Steve Harvey rejection collection. The oversized pockets that lined both the jacket and the side panels of the balloon styled pants were at war with the grey pin stripping and the blood red dress shirt and handkerchief.

Oh. My. God!
“What are you wearing?!”

“What?” Byron came to a stop in front of her and looked down at his outfit. “You told me to dress up. This is my favorite suit.”

“I also told you to look like a minister! Have you ever seen a minister dressed like a pimp?!”

“A few.”

She sighed wondering if she should just send him home but if she did where would they find someone to play the part? Instead she pressed her finger to her temple. She felt a migraine coming on.

She peeked her head around the door into Stanley’s room and saw Ed standing next to Stanley’s bed dressed so elegantly in his dark blue suit and matching light blue shirt and tie.

The two men were smiling as if something funny had just been said. In that moment the close bond between them was so obvious it was almost touchable. Sensing her presence Ed turned toward the door.

“Uh, Teddy Bear, can I speak to you a moment?”

He whispered something to his grandfather before joining her in the hall and pulling the door closed behind him. He turned to face her and Byron. Amelia watched confusion spread across his handsome face.

“Ed, this is my brother Byron. Byron, Dr. Ed Bouchard.”

“What’s up.” Byron gave a brief head nod to Ed.

“Nice to meet you.” Ed turned his confused expression on Amelia.

“I asked Byron to play the minister.”

Ed’s confused expression deepened as his eyes ran over Byron‘s full length. “Really?”

“He’s the only person I could find on such short notice unless you know of someone.”

Ed shook his head. “No. My grandfather knows everyone I know.” His eyes darted over Byron again. “Nice suit.”

Byron’s face spread in a wide smile. “Thanks!” he said as he shot Amelia a
told-you-so
smile.

“Out of curiosity,” Ed continued, “do you have anything…a little less conspicuous?

Byron’s face took on a far away expression. “I have this sharp-ass purple one with a turquoise shirt. Let me tell you man, it’s bad! But I thought it might be too
pop-pow!
You know…for a preacher.”

Ed was working very hard to conceal his thoughts behind a blank mask, but thanks to his expressive eyes Amelia could almost feel his shock. She thought some part of him probably wanted to see the purple suit just for curiosity’s sake.

“You‘re probably right. Excuse us for a moment.” He grabbed Amelia’s upper arm and maneuvered her down the hall. “Can I talk to you?”

“Why are you always grabbing me?!” She hissed even as she allowed herself to be pulled down the hall.

Once they were out of earshot of Byron Ed let go and turned to face her. “Are you crazy?!”

He gestured back toward the mustard colored blob in the distance. “We can’t pass that guy off as a Minister or Justice of the Peace or anything else for that matter!”

She folded her arms across her chest and glared up at him. “What do you suggest? We tell Stanley the truth?”

“Hell no!” He made a dismissive hand gesture. “That boat sailed so long ago it’s half way across the ocean by now. No. We are in way too deep to back out now.”

“What then?”

He glanced back down the hall at Byron. “I take it he’s an actor too?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

Ed shook his head in frustration. “Then why did you hire him?!”

He has a baby on the way and needed the money
. “It was such short notice and I had to find somebody!”

Ed covered his face with both hands. “This is going to crap so fast.”

“Just give him a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised.” She reached up and touched his face.

He sighed heavily. “I doubt it.”

Without warning Ed took her hand away from his face and placed a soft kiss on her palm. “Alright then. Let’s do it. We’ll just move it along really fast and hopefully Stanley won’t notice anything too strange.”

They returned to Byron who was adjusting his mustard colored tie in the reflection of a nearby picture on the wall.

“You ready?” Amelia asked Byron.

“Sure.” Byron smiled. “I don’t know what you guys are so worried about. From what you said, Sis, this should be a piece of cake.”

Ten minutes later Byron was sweating so badly the arm pits of his mustard suit were darkening to an orange color as he struggled to answer Stanley’s questions about his theological education and training.

Stanley frowned at him. “What’s a Bachelor’s of Godliness?”

Ed was sitting on the other side of the room where he’d been for the past five minutes with his head cradled in his hands.

Amelia was leaning against the window pane wondering how after a lifetime of knowing him had she forgotten what an idiot Byron was. Granted she hadn’t spent any real time around him since she was thirteen but still even back then the signs had been there. But somehow in the time since then she’d managed to suppress this knowledge.

Steve was standing beside her at the window his rapt attention focused on Byron. He had the intense concentration of a person watching a fly attempt to free itself from a spider’s web. You root for the fly. You hope he can somehow untangle himself but in the back of your mind you know he’s not going anywhere. Poor, pathetic fly.

Byron tugged on his collar. “Uh, it’s a degree of a higher calling. Not everyone can get it because you have to be, um…be called. You know…from higher.”

He shot Amelia another pleading look but Amelia like everyone else in the room knew it was far too late to help him. He was going down and dragging them all along with him.

Stanley’s confused expression was priceless. “I see.” He glanced at Amelia and then Ed. “Well then. Let’s get on with this.”

Amelia’s mouth fell open.

“What?!” Ed’s head shot up.

“We don’t want to keep the good Reverend too long. Do we?”

Ed stood, his eyes narrowing on his grandfather. “Pop, you don’t seriously…”

“What?” Stanley stretched out his hand to Amelia and she went to his side instantly. “Do I seriously want to see you marry Amelia?” He nodded slowly. “Oh, I do, son. Probably more than you can imagine.”

Amelia swallowed. “And you’re okay with the
Reverend’s credentials
?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He winked at her. “Who am I to question a man of God?”

“Wow.” The one word seemed to slip off Steve’s lips.

“What’s that Steve?” Stanley asked.

“Nothing.”

Ed stood staring down at his grandfather. “Guys, can you give us a minute alone.”

Amelia, Steve and Byron were slowly starting to move toward the door when Stanley lifted one hand and all motion in the room stopped. “No. Don’t anyone go anywhere.” He turned his tired eyes on Ed. “You promised me a wedding.”

“But, Pop—”

“Ed…I want to see a wedding.” He reached into his night stand and took out a bible. “Reverend, I noticed you forgot yours.”

Byron’s eyes widened. “Oh, yes, yes. Of course. Can’t do the do without this, right?” He chuckled nervously.

Amelia briefly wondered if there was any way to get through this without Byron saying another word. She knew Stanley was on to them. He had to be! So the real question was why was he playing along?

A few minutes later Stanley was sitting up in the bed with a strangely peaceful smile on his face while Ed’s arm was loosely draped around Amelia’s waist as they stood together facing Byron at the end of the bed and with Steve at Ed’s side as their witness they finally had their ceremony. For what it was worth.