Remix (13 page)

I do not look like a fairy.

It’s a shame Lee’s still up his lute-loving arse in the Mellow Tent with Anna and Parvati – kind of need someone to bitch with. I try Owen instead, although I’m not over-hopeful.

“Does she ever shut up?” I whisper, as Lauren finishes telling the tedious tale of Naj and the crowd-surfer before embarking upon some other entirely boring drama that seems to have Dongle and Kaz rapt.

“She’s just nervous.” He clocks my best Come Off It Face. “This is hard for her, hanging out with people she barely knows, one of whom used to…” I can’t help but laugh at the sound effect he uses instead of the words and Lauren glances over.

“Sorry.” I wave at her to carry on with her story. “I was laughing at Owen, not you.”

Ruby does this sometimes. Ninety-nine per cent of the time she can gel with anyone – she could instafriend Voldemort. But every now and again, as if she’s proving something to herself, Ruby will take against someone. In this case it’s Lauren, something about which I can’t help but feel bad, since Ruby’s only doing it to be partisan. (I think.) She doesn’t need to be though. I
like
Lauren. She’s funny and chatty – someone I could imagine being friends with. If it weren’t for the fact that I had sex with her boyfriend last night.

Oh God…

I can do without added guilt over Ruby’s bad attitude.

When I see her get her phone out, I fire off a message:
Could you please change out of your grumpy pants and put on your happy ones?
I add in a picture of a chihuahua suspended from a doorknob by a pair of Y-fronts. Animal pictures are excellent emotional currency wherever Ruby’s concerned.

It doesn’t take long for it to reach her. When she checks the message, she glances over at me, eyebrows raised as she mimes slitting her (my) throat.

What’s with the bloodlust? Don’t you like small dogs? EVERYONE likes small dogs. Or is this more your thing?

This time I attach a hideous picture of an aye-aye and watch her try not to smile as she opens it and turns to give me a bug-eyed stare. I give her my best back.

“Are you two having some kind of stare-off?” Lauren says. I turn to answer, but Ruby beats me to it, pretending to give Lauren laser eyes, using her fingers as beams, finally mustering a smile. Or something approaching a smile. A grimace that’s shaped like a smile, perhaps.

At least it brings her into the conversation …

“So what subjects have you chosen for next year?” Dongle asks me.

… at exactly the wrong time.

Someone really needs to update Dongle on the list of “Subjects Best Avoided Around Ruby”. Fiddling with the daisy chain around my wrist, I can feel Kaz’s nervous glances as she tells him she’s signed up for French, Latin, Geography and Chemistry. When he comments on what a weird combination it is, she steers the conversation towards wanting to be an archaeologist and I have high hopes for us veering off-topic entirely and discussing Indiana Jones films, until Lauren snatches that hope Belloq-style.

“What about you, Ruby?”

It’s not fair to resent her for asking, when Owen would say that she’s making an effort, but I do. “Not sure I’ll be taking any at all at this rate.”

I’ve plucked all the petals from one of my daisies and I look up from the bald yellow seed head to catch a glimmer of confusion on Lauren’s face before Kaz jumps in with an explanation.

“Ruby’s just being melodramatic.” She smiles at me to take the sting out of it. Not that it works. “Your results weren’t
that
bad!”

I know she’s trying to big me up, but all it does is make me feel that much smaller.

“They were bad enough that Flickers won’t let me stay on for sixth form. They have standards and I don’t meet them.” I never have. Standards aren’t something I’ve ever taken seriously. “The only way I get to go is if I stay back a year and resit.” I concentrate on my daisy-bracelet, ripping out petals in chunks as I carry on speaking. “Either that, or I’ll be heading over to Canterbury to do something less academic and more useful.”

“Oh.” Lauren actually sounds like she might be disappointed for me. “That’s a shame.”

She earns a smile for that and I shrug, saying, “It’s cool. I think I’d like it there.”

Now she’s looking uncomfortable. “I meant it’s a shame that you won’t be at Flickers. I just got a scholarship – I’m starting sixth form in September. It’d be nice to have some friendly faces there.” My face is far from friendly as she does this irritating little shrug-laugh. “Guess it’ll just be Kaz.”

My final tug on the daisy-bracelet pulls the whole thing off my wrist.

Ruby must have left shortly after that. I didn’t actually notice her go, but when I look up from laughing at something Lauren’s said, Owen tells me that she’s gone to the toilets.

“The good ones, down by the main stage,” he adds with a smile before his attention sharpens and I turn to see Lee, Parvati and Anna attempting to skip three-abreast from the top of the hill. Owen’s features are carefully positioned in a smile that’s only surface-deep. He gets up to make way for them and in the confusion of introducing Lauren to the others I lose sight of him. When I find him again, he’s listening to Anna and Parvati talk about the band and he’s smiling for real. Then his eyes slide up to Lee and his expression shifts key from major to minor.

This morning Ruby said that Lee and Owen had made up, but sometimes I think Ruby only notices the things she wants to be true. Even if they made up, Lee and Owen aren’t the happy couple that we came here with.

I can’t decide whether it’s better for her not to know, or worse.

I look over at Lauren. Sometimes it’s both.

I buy some chicken nuggets on my way back, but after one bite my body reminds my brain that it doesn’t want to eat; would really like it if those two started getting along a little better this weekend…

I catch sight of Kaz and Lauren.

Would really like it if those two didn’t
.

Handing the nuggets to Lee, I slide into the space between him and Anna, joining in as they bitch about a series of dumb and dumber selfies on the Festblog feed. The screen does that flashing thing again and I’m prepped for getting my rant on.

Until I see the picture.

It’s a promo shot of Gold’ntone – the one where the whole band’s dressed in suits except Wexler, who is standing front and centre in nothing but a pair of jeans. I say this with a fair amount of confidence, since his thumbs are hooked into the waistband, pulling it low enough that you’d expect to see the elastic of his boxers … if he were wearing any.

RUMOUR HAS IT SEXY WEXY GOT A NEW TATT FOR HIS BIRTHDAY…

He turned twenty-three last month. Still totally within the realm of non-icky shaggableness, right?

“Why’s everyone gone quiet?” Lauren says. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kaz reach over and physically turn Lauren’s head so she’s facing the screen. “Oh.” Lauren’s eyes are wide. “I get it.”

“No,” Lee murmurs next to me as we watch badly doodled tattoos appear on Wexler’s torso. “I think Mr Wexler is the one who would get it.”

No one disagrees. Not even Dongle.

Wexler’s picture is surrounded by arrows.

SHOULDER?

RIDICULOUSLY TONED BICEP?

ABS?

ROCK-HARD CHEST?

Then the question
OR IS IT SOMEWHERE SECRET…?
appears, typed across his jeans.

“I wouldn’t mind finding out where Adam Wexler’s secret tattoo might be,” Lauren says.

“Get in line,” I growl, intending for it to sound good-natured. I’m not sure it does.

The screen flashes red and the text appears:
DARE you to ask him when Gold’ntone appears at the signing tent in two hours’ time!

“You’re
shitting
me!” Ruby shrieks, perforating my eardrums and those of anyone else within a ten-metre (possibly -mile) radius.

“Please no…” Lee groans, palming his forehead in despair, looking at his sister who is apoplectic with excitement. “This one’s going to get herself arrested for molesting Adam Wexler, isn’t she?”

“Quite possibly,” I say around a mouthful of nugget so that it sounds more like “Quite woffably”.

Ruby’s feelings for Adam Wexler aren’t exactly of the controllable kind. Obviously such a shameless display of excitement is the perfect excuse for Lee to humiliate her by telling everyone that she once cried because Callum had thrown away her special copy of
Rolling Stone
that contained an exclusive Gold’ntone interview. When Ruby looks to me for defence I join in, revealing the secret that she used to download the lyrics to her favourite song so she could get the words right when she sang along.

“Everyone does that!” Ruby shouts indignantly.

“Then why did you hide it?” Lee shouts louder and everyone laughs, Lauren loudest of all, and I wonder if the good mood Gold’ntone has put Ruby in will be enough to end to her issues with Lauren.

Even the thought of seeing Adam Wexler onstage has been enough to set my nerves on edge – the idea of being close enough to touch him… Not that I will. I’m pretty certain fans launching themselves at their idols and licking their faces is frowned upon. But still.

Imagine. Adam Wexler. IRL. Not on YouTube. Not on TV. Not on a poster on my wall or a figment of my fevered imagination. Who knows what could happen?

“… you could say anything you liked, Lee. Ruby’s obviously in some Adam Wexler-related daydream.”

His name sounds wrong in Lauren’s mouth and this is just my rock star crush’s name. How is Kaz not freaked when she hears Lauren say
Tom’s
name?

Whatever.
Adam Wexler
.

This is going to be epic.

When I set my reminder on my phone for the signing, I clock how little life is left in my battery.

“Kaz?” I have to say her name twice because she’s too busy finding some Gold’ntone songs for Lauren – who has apparently been living under a soundproof rock for the last two years since she claims never to have heard any – to notice me. “Do you know where the charging tents are?” But before Kaz can reach into her bag for the arena map, Lauren’s telling her not to bother.

“I paid for one of these.” She holds up her phone and I see there’s something attached to it. “It’s a portable charger thing. What phone have you got?”

A moment later she’s taken the phone from my hand, declared that I’m in luck and plugged her charger into it.

“Er, thanks.” Although now I’m not sure how to fit it back into my pocket.

“I’ll take it.” Kaz sighs and makes some room in her bag, from which I take one of the sunscreen pouches that she’s brought for my benefit. It’s industrial-strength kids’ stuff for people who burn like bacon and it is
definitely
time I topped up. Since my vest is full of holes, I’m going to have to go for full-body application – something I’d usually sneak off to the toilet with Kaz to do, but her attention’s back on Lauren. The pair of them are leaning over Lauren’s fully charged phone, watching the video for “Tonight Too Soon”. Much as I’d like to interrupt, I don’t feel I can…

Which doesn’t leave me with a lot of choice.

Lauren leans into me a little, but I’m distracted by handing money to Parvati for some nachos. Those chicken nuggets have had a domino effect on everyone’s appetite.

“… stripping off.”

“What?” I look at Lauren and she nods over my shoulder.

Ruby’s standing up pulling her vest over her head in one smooth, confident move, in a way I can barely manage in the girls’ changing room before P.E., let alone in a field full of spectators. But Ruby has the kind of body confidence that comes from always being skinny. She runs a layer of sunscreen over her arms and chest and around her back as the boys in the group near by elbow each other and stare.

“One of those boys is offering to help her,” Lauren narrates in a David Attenborough voice.

“Ruby often has that effect,” I say.

“Really?” Lauren wrinkles her nose.

“Er…?” I don’t know how to take that.

“Sorry. I’m not saying she’s not pretty or anything.”

“Good. Because she’s gorgeous.” The authority with which I say this is enough for Lauren to reconsider what she was about to say.

“Yeah, of course. She’s got that whole manic-pixie-dream-girl thing going on.” I’m not entirely sure that’s a compliment and Lauren knows it, because she’s biting her lip, but it seems we’re at a level where she doesn’t feel she needs to hold back. “It’s just, do boys outside of films and books really go for that?”

“The ones who’ve met Ruby seem to,” I tell her.

Lauren glances at me, then looks away. “I just think you’re way prettier. You know?”

It’s the second time she’s called me pretty and I can’t help but laugh, even though Lauren obviously thinks she means it and I feel so bad for laughing at such a huge compliment that I reach out and give her a hug.

As I emerge from pulling my vest back on, Kaz is giving Lauren a massive hug. The kind usually reserved for real friends. Then Lee shouts, “Me too!” and launches himself across the grass to land on them, arms wide enough to squash both Kaz and Lauren in one embrace.

Enough now.

Without asking, I take the schedule from Kaz’s bag, scanning the lists of bands, working out where I can be that isn’t here, on this slope with that annoying girl.

The annoying girl in question leans over my shoulder and I’m tempted to flick my fist up and into her face. Violence probably isn’t the answer.

“No. Way. I didn’t realize they were playing today!” Lauren reaches round and pulls the programme out of my hand.

“I was reading that.”

But she isn’t listening. Colour me un-fucking-surprised.

“What time is it?” Now she’s twisting my wrist to look at the time on my watch.

Maybe violence
is
the answer?

“Kaz, you have to see these guys, they’re brilliant. You’d love them.” She’s pointing at a band called Ivory Lace. I can tell by the name – and the fact that Lauren likes them – that I will hate them. Also, note the words she used –
you’d
love them – directed at Kaz. Not me.