Remembrance (The Transcend Time Saga) (12 page)

CHAPTER 18

Thoughts of how to approach Drew about the dance haunted my mind as I tried falling asleep that night. I was stuck in a tough situation. Asking him was the same as accusing him of lying to Chelsea. He clearly didn’t want me to know he was there, otherwise he wouldn’t have been so mysterious about his identity. I fell asleep before deciding what to do, but all of that time spent awake was unnecessary—his seat was empty when the late bell rang in history the next morning, and class ended without his arrival.

“So, where’s Drew?” I asked Chelsea as we walked towards the language wing. 

“He decided to stay with his dad in New York for the rest of the week since he hasn’t seen his grandparents in so long,” she replied, looking around the hall before returning her attention to me. “You don’t think the girls in New York are prettier than me, do you?”

“No way,” I said, since it was what she wanted to hear. “Just because they live in New York doesn’t make them prettier than anyone else.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Good point.”

“A week’s a long time to miss school,” I said, trying to keep the conversation casual. “Won’t he get behind?”

“He does well in French, English, and history,” she said, counting them off on her fingers. “I’ll catch him up in chemistry, but I don’t know about calculus. He got a C+ on the last test, but he didn’t study at all. I asked him to drop back a level into trig so he could be in class with us, but he didn’t seem happy about the idea.” She laughed. “Actually, he seemed repulsed by it.”

I almost stopped in my tracks.
Because then he would have to have another class
with me
, I thought, reminding myself to continue on pace with Chelsea so she wouldn’t realize how much what she’d said had rattled me. After all, maybe he just thought calculus would look better on his college application. Everything he did didn’t have to do with me, but as much as I told myself to forget about him, he continued to consume my thoughts. They were trapped inside my head, and it wouldn’t be long until I couldn’t hold them in anymore—my feelings for Drew and whatever they meant couldn’t stay buried forever.

It would be an explosive mess when they finally came pouring out.

* * *

Trig felt like it lasted forever, and when the bell rang I hurried to the music wing instead of going to the library. One of the smaller rehearsal studios was empty, and I stepped inside, closing the door behind me. The room was tiny—only three feet were between the end of the piano and the door. A chart showing the notes on the piano hung in back.

For the next hour I experimented with the scales, using the chart as a guide. Even though I’d never taken a piano lesson before, it all made sense. I could see in my mind what keys corresponded to the notes on the staff, and I continued quizzing myself until I could pick one at random and play the scale with ease. The sheet music for “Minuet” still looked complicated, but at least I could make sense of the notes.

Looking at the clock hanging over the door, I saw that it was almost time for Jeremy to get out of soccer practice. He was sure to come looking for me in the library, so I gathered my belongings and closed the door to the room, figuring I would come back tomorrow.

* * *

Learning the basics was easy, and on the third day I decided to try the song. It wasn’t too hard. If I played with just my right hand or my left hand it sounded decent, but combining them resulted in one hand getting off rhythm. But by the end of the week the notes were in harmony with each other, and it sounded similar to how I heard it in my mind. Almost like I had played it before, during some other part of my life.

Two hard knocks pounded on the door, and I lifted my hands off the keys midway through the song to open it. Jeremy stood there with his hand raised to knock again. His cheeks were still red from practice, and a look of surprise crossed over his face when he saw me.

“Hey Jere,” I said, forcing a smile. “Did you get out of practice early?”

“No,” he replied, twisting his head to look inside. “It’s 5:30. I looked all over school for you. Why are you in here?”

I shrugged. “I was playing the piano.”

His eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Since when do you play the piano?”

“Since Monday.”

He stared at me like he was trying to probe some deep secret out of my mind. Before I realized what was happening, he stormed into the room like he was expecting me to be hiding something—or someone—inside.

“Why didn’t you tell me you started playing the piano?” he asked after confirming that nothing too incriminating was going on. 

“I was just playing around while you were at practice,” I explained. “I’m not very good.”

He placed his hand on top of my shoulder, his eyes blazing with an anger I didn’t anticipate. “So stop playing around in here and come outside to watch me practice instead.” He accentuated each word. “You can even sketch while you watch to get your drawing assignments out of the way.” 

“I’ll try,” I said, trying to think of an excuse. Sketching Jeremy and his teammates playing soccer didn’t sound like much fun. “But it’s cold outside. Maybe if there’s a warm day.”

“Shannon watches Warren,” he said. “She brings a jacket.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know you anymore, Liz,” he said, his voice soft with disappointment. “Something’s changed since the beginning of the school year. I just want things to go back to how they were.”

I nodded, unable to agree out loud. The only way for Jeremy and me to be like we were was to erase Drew from my memory, and I didn’t want to do that.

“Let’s just go,” he said. “It’s getting stuffy in here.” He glanced at the piano, which took up half of the room. “By the way, you didn’t sound half-bad.”

He walked out of the room before I could thank him for the compliment, like he was embarrassed for even saying it in the first place. I couldn’t help but wonder if Drew would agree, but given the fact that I didn’t intend on performing for an audience—and that Drew wanted absolutely nothing to do with me—I doubted he would ever hear me play.

CHAPTER 19

Drew was already in his seat at the far end of the room in history class on Monday morning. His hair was shorter than normal—he must have gotten it cut in New York—and he wore his typical dark jeans with the black leather jacket. 

I glanced at him before walking to the center of the room, but he held his gaze with mine, like he was daring me to sit next to him. Deciding to test his reaction, I lifted my head and glided across the floor to slide into the seat on his left, trying to ignore my heart pounding in my chest the entire time. He gripped his pen tight in his hand as I approached and shifted his eyes to focus on the door, refusing to look in my direction. For practically inviting me to come over, he sure wasn’t welcoming. I leaned back in my seat and attempted to look relaxed, realizing I would have to be the one to start this conversation.

“Hey,” I said, my voice surprisingly steady, even though it felt like it was going to crack at a moments notice.

He dropped his pen on the table and turned to look at me, his eyes dark with anger. “Are you trying to annoy me to death?” he asked, lowering his voice as he spoke.

Humiliated by his comment, I looked around the classroom to make sure no one was listening. It was early, and the only people there were Lara Foster and Lindsay Newman, who seemed involved in their own conversation.

“I know you were at the dance last week,” I said, hoping that the confidence in my voice would make him more likely to admit what I knew was true.

He looked down at the table and snickered. “I was in New York.”

“No.” I shook my head. “You were there. All black outfit … pirate skull necklace … sound familiar?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He narrowed his eyes as he spoke. “But whoever you saw wasn’t me. I wasn’t in town last weekend.”

I crossed my arms over my chest as other students started entering the classroom, my blood boiling with frustration. Chelsea arrived and sat on the other side of Drew, and we both said hi to her like the conversation we’d just had never happened, but I wasn’t going to give up. He was at the dance. I just had to find a way to get him to admit it.

* * *

The rest of the day passed slowly, and after the final bell I hurried to the practice room to work on Minuet. I downloaded the music over the weekend to listen to, hoping it would help me play the song better, and it was time to see if it worked. 

The heater in the room hummed at full blast, making it as hot as a sauna, and I opened the door halfway to allow some circulation so I wouldn’t pass out from heatstroke. The room was far enough away from the entrance of the school that someone would have to walk out of their way to look inside. Hopefully no one would do that. My playing had improved in the past week, but I still wasn’t ready for other people to listen.

When I began to play, it was like the music took over my body—each note rang in harmony with the others. I closed my eyes and didn’t think about anything else but the song. It was like I had been practicing the piece for years. The last note echoed through the room, and I opened my eyes, realizing that I hadn’t used the sheet music in front of me. It was as if I’d played it all from memory.

“That sounded good,” an unmistakable voice spoke from outside of the room, and I turned to see Drew leaning against the frame of the door. “But I would work on the middle section. It was a little choppy.”

“Thanks, Drew,” I said, sick of his constant changes in attitude. Apparently we could only talk when he deemed it acceptable. That might work for him, but it wasn’t okay with me. “But considering the fact that I’d never touched a piano before last week, I don’t think it was half bad.”

He small smile crept up his face. “Like I said, it sounded good.”

“I’m breaking up with Jeremy,” I said, taking my hands off the keys and placing them on the bench. The true meaning of the words pounded on my chest after I’d said them, but no matter how much the confession caught me by surprise, I couldn’t take it back. “I don’t care what you say. I know it was you at the dance.”

He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “Let me guess—you’re breaking up with him for me?” he asked, continuing before I could respond. “Not like it would be the first time I’ve had a girl break up with her boyfriend for me. It happened all the time back at home. We would get together, then I would get bored and find someone else. They would always crawl back to their ex’s, begging for forgiveness. Sometimes the guys took them back, and sometimes they didn’t. It’s sort of sad when they’re left alone, but it was their stupid decision to think they were special enough to keep my attention for more than two months to begin with.” He shook his head in fake disapproval. “I thought you were smarter than that, Elizabeth, but it looks like I was wrong. How disappointing.”

The cruelty in his voice felt like knives puncturing my lungs, and I had to remind myself to breathe. I remembered the dance—both the one at school and the ball I saw in my mind. He was so warm and gentle that night. He couldn’t mean what he said.

“What about Chelsea?” I asked, gathering the courage to look at him again. Sadness passed over his eyes, but it disappeared a moment later, leaving me to wonder if it was even there to begin with. “You’ve been together for almost two months. Are you just going to ditch her, too?”

“The same way you’re ditching Jeremy?” he challenged.

“I’m not ditching him,” I said, the words hollow in my ears. “We’ve been growing apart. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Sure it doesn’t,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “But why are you telling me? Is it because you think I’d want to be with you after you get rid of him? Because I wouldn’t. Sorry, Elizabeth, but you’re just not my type.”

I swallowed back tears. “I don’t know,” I wavered, trying to stop myself from crying in front of him. If his goal was to make me feel like he took a knife and ripped me apart from the inside, then he succeeded. “Just leave me alone.”

He didn’t move, appearing unaffected by my words. I wondered if he would apologize and say he didn’t mean it, but he turned around and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I stared at where he’d stood and waited for him to come back, but after a few moments it was clear that he’d left and didn’t plan to return.

I closed the cover over the keys of the piano and leaned down on it, pressing my eyes into my arms until I started to see swirling patterns behind my lids. My hair cascaded over my face like a protective cave, and I allowed the tears to run down my cheeks. The worst was that as long as I cried, it didn’t make me feel any better. Every time it felt like the barrier between us was breaking down he would just put it back up again, and I didn’t know if I had the strength to pull it down for good.

I could see a hazy outline of what I must have looked like, leaning against the old piano, crying so much that the tears threatened to stain the wood. The room spun around me and it was like I was in two places at once, both looking down on what was happening and living it myself. I envisioned Drew there next to me, wrapping his arms around me and saying it would all be okay. I could feel the warmth of his body and hear him whisper in my ear. A voice in the back of my head told me that he wasn’t actually there, but I ignored it. It felt better to pretend.  

The two scenes blurred together until they were both gone from my mind. None of it was real. My head felt light from lack of oxygen, and I took a few deep breaths inwards, managing to slow the tears. 

Once back in control, I contemplated what I’d said about breaking up with Jeremy. It was so sudden, but it felt wrong to continue being with him when I couldn’t stop thinking about Drew. It wasn’t fair, and Jeremy deserved better than that. The spark between us was gone, and there was no way to go back to the way we once were.

The only thing I could do now was end it.