REMEMBRANCE (29 page)

“Maybe if I write them down,” she spoke to herself, “I might be able to link them together.”

She took her diary and put her thoughts to paper. She halted when she thought of the first time she had seen Tom in her dream, his face so very sad and then… the blood, so much blood! However, in the dream she had just had, he had sounded angry, rather than sad. This time, it was someone else that pulled the trigger, their laughter still clear in her mind. What did it all mean? Were they trying to tell her something? A hidden message of some sort? What was it that they were trying to tell her? She had a feeling that something she could not explain was going to happen...

Where was Tom? She needed him here. If he were next to her now, he could hold her and tell her that the events she was witnessing—although realistic to her—were all just in her mind, that there wasn’t anything to be afraid of and that everything was alright. But he wasn’t here. He had gone off to God knows where, leaving her here all alone. He had been reluctant to say much about his sudden trip when they had last been together and she had not wanted to spoil what little time they had together with questions. She closed her eyes against the pain that his absence caused.

She looked again at what she had written, wondering if there— amongst the words she had written—was something that would give her a clue. For hers were not just ordinary dreams, they felt so real. She touched a hand to her arms and noticed a bruise forming on her pale skin.

She tried to stay out of her uncle and Mr Lewis’ way for most of the day. She found herself creeping and looking round corners to check that it was clear before she went anywhere. She prayed that Mr Lewis would not be staying too long, for she could not contemplate having to do this for very much longer.

She had sent her excuses not to attend dinner, but her uncle had come to her room and insisted that she join them. Hence, she was forced into having to put up with the gentlemen’s presence, when really she just wanted to hide away.

She sat at the large table with her uncle as they took their meal, and was relieved to find that Mr Lewis had not joined them. Thankful for the respite, she relaxed and tucked into her food with a hearty appetite. She knew that now would be a good time to speak to Sir John about Mr Lewis’ proposal, and the possibility of her having a season in London.

“Uncle,” she started to say; “is there any truth…” was all she managed, when a very drunk Mr Lewis burst into the room.

“Ah there you are, Garth,” her uncle welcomed him happily. “We wondered where you had got to!”

Mr Lewis staggered to the chair opposite Maria’s and leered at her across the table.

“You are looking very charming tonight, Miss Austin,” he said with clear mockery in his voice.

She looked down at her food, biting her lip for fear that she may say something in the presence of her uncle that she would later regret.

For the rest of the meal, she suffered in silence, as the penetrating looks of the man in front of her practically burned into her delicate skin. Enjoying the discomfort he was causing her, he engaged himself in conversation with Sir John. It sickened her to watch him manipulate her uncle so. Was everyone in this house blind to this man’s character? Did he portray a completely different person to them than the one at which she had firsthand experience? How she managed to eat anything in his presence she did not know, for her appetite had quickly disappeared. Once they had finished their meal, she slipped away to find haven in the confines of her room.

She was running, feeling the wind on her face spreading the falling tears across her cheeks. Suddenly, she fell and cried out in pain. The pressure on her chest forced the air from her lungs, pressing down on her, crushing her.

“Come on, Miss Austin, do not fight me. You know that you want this,” Garth Lewis said, his voice so close...

She opened her eyes and could smell a stench of alcohol and tobacco on her face. She screamed as she realised this was not part of her dream, as a hard callous hand clamped over her mouth to stem her cries.

“Now… Now Maria, we do not want to wake the rest of the house,” Garth sniggered.

She lashed out into the darkness with her hands, trying to ward him off, but he just pinned them down at her side. His vicious mouth crushed hers and she could taste the blood. Whipping her head from side to side, she screamed out as he bit into the soft flesh of her neck, while all the time his laughter penetrated her ears. Sickened at the sound of it, the blood coursed through her veins, giving her an inner strength. She brought her knee up to make contact with his rising arousal. It had the desired effect and he buckled in pain, which give her enough time to escape from his clutches. She was at the door when she was brought to the floor with the weight of his body and he swung her over onto her back.

“Now, now, Miss Austin! As I said, Mr Bradley will not be the only one to satisfy his needs on you.”

He ripped at the material of her nightdress and she swung out to knock him off balance, but he held her fast. The sharp edges of his knees forced her legs apart.

“I said that I would have you and I will do so whether you fight me or not!” he said through gritted teeth. “Willing or not, I shall possess you.”

“NOOOO!” she cried.

His dark eyes were like black pits of pure hell in the darkened room. He was not the man she had come to know; he was worse. Anger, hatred and frustration oozed from his very person. He was a man with a purpose and he did not care who he hurt in the process. Again, he forced his mouth to her, his rough hands hard on her delicate skin, as he moved them over her soft breasts, bruising, punishing her for her unwillingness to cooperate. She cried out with pain as he pursued and then continued his hands on their path down between her legs.

“I shall not be deterred! I actually like a woman with a little fight in her—it adds to the experience.”

“No,” she bit out as he bound her down with his hands.

“Damn you woman, keep still!” Garth hissed, as she wriggled frantically beneath him. It was the only way to stop him from forcing himself onto her. She fought with every ounce of her strength to ward him off, her screams echoing through the quietness of the sleeping house.

The room was suddenly flooded with candlelight as several servants, closely followed by Sir John, ran to her aid.

“What the…?” Sir John called out, shocked to see Maria lying half-naked on the floor with Mr Lewis.

Joseph, the butler, quickly came to her rescue and dragged the very drunk Mr Lewis off Maria. Finally free, she scuttled backwards until she was trapped against the wall, trying to cover her naked body with her ripped garment.

“What the blazes is going on here?” The enraged voice of Sir John bellowed out. He looked from Maria to Mr Lewis, who was now standing and smoothing out his ruffled clothes.

“I am so sorry you had to see this Sir John, but she begged me to come to her room tonight. She likes to play these little games, don’t you dear?” Garth spoke as if nothing was amiss.

“WHAT?” Maria said stunned, “It is not as it seems, Uncle, he forced himself upon me!”

“Now dear, tell Sir John the truth!”

“How dare you?” she screamed, “It is not so, Uncle, he forced his way in!” she was almost close to tears.

“Why don’t you tell him that we are to be married?” Garth said almost innocently.

“You liar! Please, Uncle, he is not telling the truth!”

“Now, that is quite enough!” Sir John shouted. “I will not put up with this sort of behaviour in my house!”

“But, Sir John, it is the truth. Would I lie to you, Sir?”

“You liar!” Maria screamed in pure frustration.

“Do you not see how she still denies our agreement through the embarrassment of having been caught?” asked Mr Lewis, still keeping his voice steady.

The air caught in her throat. Could she really believe what she was hearing? She was taken aback by the sheer audacity of the man that stood proudly in the centre of the room.

Sir John looked from him to his niece, torn between right and wrong. How could he disbelieve the woman that he had raised as his own? Who was this man that had wheedled his way into their lives, his home?

“It is quite obvious, Sir, that your advances were neither wanted nor asked for by my niece, and I shall not tolerate any man that forces himself on her!” he finally said.

The room grew quiet as Sir John’s words sank in.

“But Sir, she encouraged me; she led me to believe that we were to be married,” Garth continued, attempting to put up a good defence.

“Quiet, Sir,” Sir John turned to Joseph, “If you would be so good as to have Mr Lewis’s things taken from the room he occupies?” The butler nodded, leaving the room to attend to the request. “And you Sir, I shall have you removed from my house immediately.”

With that, two of the larger male servants grabbed him. With surprising strength, Garth snatched his arms from their grasp.

“I am quite capable of leaving without your help,” he said stonily, holding his head high as he passed Sir John and the others and made his way unsteadily down the stairs.

Maria sat sobbing, as her Uncle came to kneel before her, “Hush now, child, he has gone. We shall see no more of him.”

“But Uncle, he forced himself on me. He said that you had given him leave to marry me and that you had both arranged it,” she stammered.

“I never gave him leave my dear, for he had never asked me.”

“You did not?” she asked in astonishment, as her huge eyes studied his face, “But he told me that you had approved of the match.”

“I never approved anything, my dear. I fear that Mr Lewis has taken us all for fools.”

“But you do believe me that he forced his way in?” she asked.

“Of course I do, my dear. Now, you get some rest and we will hear no more about it,” Sir John said, trying to calm her as best as he could.

It was only as he passed through the door that he noticed the splinters of wood and the small lock that hung from its rightful place that the light dawned in his head. He turned back to his niece, as Bella fussed over her like a mother hen. He struggled to control his shame and anger for allowing this despicable man into his house. He observed Maria’s torn clothes, her tear-stained cheeks, her small quiet cry that left her lips as her maid tried to tidy her up. His heart broke at the sight before him. How could he ever have disbelieved her over such a wretched man? Where did he go wrong that he had let her down so badly?

Bertie sat upon the old wooden rocking chair that took its place by the four-poster bed in Maria’s room. She had been there for the last 24 hours and was becoming quite stiff from sitting so long. The old diary sat upon her lap; she had been keeping a close eye on the happenings in the past, as each day, another entry would materialise on its dusty worn pages. She desperately needed to stretch her legs and breathe the fresh air that wafted in through the open window, but she knew that she couldn’t take the chance of leaving the room, for she had to be ready. There would only be a narrow time window and she would have to work fast when it happened.

Margaret entered the room with a cup of tea and placed it on the whitewashed dresser.

“Has anything happened yet?” she enquired.

Bertie sighed, “Not yet, Margaret, but I am sure that I will not have to wait much longer. I have been keeping an eye on her writings and the time is nearing.”

“Well, if there is anything you need me to do, you only have to ask,” her friend offered sincerely.

“Thank you, Margaret, you are too kind, but it won’t be long now,” she repeated her reassurances, as if trying to convince herself.

“Please have patience, Madam, and all will be well, you will see,” Margaret reassured her.

“I know, Margaret, but I have waited so long for this moment. I want to be ready when she needs me.”

“And you will be, but please do not wear yourself out so much with your waiting that you forget the real reason for your presence here.”

Bertie looked sharply at her friend, “I know why I’m here.”

Margaret smiled, “Yes, my dear friend, but let us not us forget that in changing the past for herself she also changes the destinies of those closest to her.”

Bertie’s face softened, “Yes, Margaret, I know; and maybe, just maybe, there is more than one wrong she can put right in doing so.”

“Yes madam, and a blessing it would be too.”

* * * * *

The enchanting melody rang out from the golden harp as Maria’s fingers coaxed the delicate notes. She finally relaxed and allowed herself to be abandoned in her music, knowing that Mr Lewis had left the house.

Her eyes closed, she thought of her love, as she imagined Tom’s smiling face. In her mind’s eye, she was floating on the water with her face turned up to the sun. Suddenly, it was not Tom’s face, but that of Mr Lewis, with his twisted mouth leering at her. She opened her eyes, shocked that he should invade her private thoughts.

Were her dreams coming to torment her even when she was no longer asleep now? Why would Mr Lewis plague her so? What did it all mean? A shiver ran down her spine and the tiny hairs on the back of her neck rose. She had the feeling that whatever these dreams were trying to tell her was going to happen soon. Moreover, she had the terrible foreboding that Mr Lewis would have some part to play in the events that were soon to take place.