REMEMBER ME: GODS OF CHAOS MC (19 page)

“
Not anymore you are
n’
t
,”
he said, shoving me further into my apartment.

“
Get on your knees - now
!”
he yelled after we entered the living room.  I did as he said, sinking to my knees on the carpet. 

“
Why are you doing this
?
”
 
I asked, my heart racing.

“
Shut the fuck up!  Put your hands behind your head
!”
I obeyed.
 “
Dice fucked up, okay? He was supposed to finish you. Not get fucking killed himself and leave you alive to keep getting in our way
.
”

“
Our way
?”
I asked.

“
I said, shut the fuck up
!
”
 
He hit me across the face with the gun and I went tumbling to the floor.  I looked up at him as he began unbuckling his belt in front of me, the gun still in his hand.

“
Might as well have a piece of you before I get rid of you
.
”
 
His pants fell to his feet, and I saw the tattoo.

A black snake. Wrapping around his calf.  The same tattoo Dice had. Dic
e’
s voice filled my ears as the memory of his words came crashing back for the first time.

“
You think a pimp like me does
n’
t have friends on the inside?  You think all your cop friends are clean as a fucking whistle? You think they are
n’
t the worst of all? Yeah, little piggie, I know things you would shit your pants to know about. You got sold out, bitch
.
”

I shook my head, raising to my knees.

“
No, that ca
n’
t be, you ca
n’t
…
”
I said.
 “
You, Judd
?
”

He pulled down his boxers, and pointed the gun at my forehead. 

“I’
ve been wanting a piece of you for a long time, Grace
,”
he snarled.

Something in me snapped.  I was
n’
t about to let this asshole get any part of me. 

“
Suck it
,”
he said, waving his prick in my face.  I shook my head.

“
I do
n’
t think so
,”
I whispered. He took one step closer, and reached out with one hand, his fingers heading towards my hair. 

He was inches away when I threw my left hand out to push the gun away at the same time that I grasped the fingers of his other hand with mine, forcing them backwards and up, the satisfying crack vibrating through my hand just as his gun went off before falling to the ground, the bullet shattering the glass of my coffee table. 

Judd fell to his knees.

He screamed in pain as his broken fingers grotesquely dangled off of his hand. I brought a knee up as I raised to my feet, hitting him squarely in the nose and sending him flying onto his back.  He moaned as blood gushed from his nose.

I was on my feet now, but to my surprise he was able to jump up with me.  We raced towards his gun on the ground, but he reached it before me, grabbing it and swinging it towards me, the butt of it landing squarely on my cheek bone. 

He hit me with it again, and I went flying across the floor, landing with my purse underneath me this time.  I felt the hardness of my gun press into my stomach, and I reached under me, fishing for it in the darkness.

When my fingers wrapped around the cold metal, it felt as if a steel hand had wrapped around my heart.

Was there nobody in this world I could trust? Not even my partner? The one person that was supposed to keep me safe that I had allowed in my life?  How many times did I have to turn away?  How many people did I have to banish?

When I pulled the trigger, his body flew into the wall behind him.  He almost looked surprised, as the blood trickled down his chest, and then a bright ribbon of darker blood escaped from his mouth. 

I do
n’
t know why he did
n’
t think I would have my gun with me.  I might have been off-duty, but I never went anywhere without my gun. 

I
t’
s what people do when they did
n’
t trust anyone.

I
t’
s what people do when they have nobody to rely on but themselves.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Ryder

Two weeks had passed since I said goodbye to Sam.  Or Grace.  Or whatever her name was.

And one week had passed since I saw her on the news.  Her face was plastered all over the papers and every news station. 

After seeing what happened, I debated if I should go to her. She had to have been a fucking mess.  But I did
n’
t. 

I stayed strong. Kept my distance. The last thing she needed was to get photographed with an outlaw biker while she was receiving awards of honor for help bring down a child-sex ring that included everyone from low-level cops to judges and politicians.  After Judd had attacked her, and she had killed him, they found an obscene amount of files, photographs and videos in his apartment, naming and identifying all of the monsters in the most fucked up club I had ever heard about.  All of them with that stupid fucking tattoo on their leg, like some sick badge of honor. And now that Dice and Judd were dead, the rest of them were going down too.

The information also led to a hotel room, filled with over a dozen young girls who now, thanks to Grace, would have a second chance at a normal life.

I was proud of her, sure. My heart was fucking bursting with pride. 

Even more so, knowing what she had gone through to get to where she was. Knowing what it must be bringing up for her, so soon after those memories were already haunting her once again.  The wounds were fresh again, after all the years she had worked to heal them. 

My heart ached for her, to see her on television, her eyes empty and sad as she took the award, and then promptly denied having any real role in anything. 

She was painfully humble.

And so fucking beautiful that I wanted nothing more than to go to her and bring her back home with me.

But I could
n’
t.  So I let the time pass, and I turned off the television whenever the news came on.  I avoided the papers, and everyone around the clubhouse knew by now not to mention her name around me if they did
n’
t want their head knocked off.

She was a bit of a celebrity, though, even here.  Cherry was in awe of the fact that she was a cop and still had
n’
t said a word to anyone about any of us.  She had earned the respect of every single member of the club by being able to keep her mouth shut when it counted.

She had my respect for a whole lot more than that.

And tha
t’
s why I left her alone.  Tha
t’
s why I did
n’
t go to her, even thought I knew she was in pain, and it fucking killed me not to.  She did
n’
t need me to save her this time.

She had saved herself.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Grace

I pulled my car up to the side of the clubhouse, the only car amongst the dozens of Harleys.  It was early.  The morning light broke through the trees above me, and I smiled wistfully, inhaling the heady pine scent that I remembered so well.

I walked through the front door, and it was quiet.  Several Gods were sleeping in various spots on the floor, their mouths open, snoring, still wearing their cuts.  Bottles of beer were knocked over, the smell of the stale beer puddles next to them filling my nostrils, overpowering the pine trees outside.  Tiff was curled up in the corner next to Slade, and I spotted Cherry sleeping alone on a couch along the wall. 

I was taking a huge risk here.  Showing up unannounced.  Early, when I knew he might still be asleep. When I had no idea if he would even be alone.

It had been two months since I said goodbye to him.  Two of the longest months of my life.

“
Well, hello there, Sam!  Or, Grace, I guess
?
”
 
Doc was in the kitchen, standing in front of the fridge, a beer in his hand even at this early hour.

“
Hi, Doc
!”
I replied. His wild hair, his sweet demeanor, his crooked smile warmed my heart
.“I’
ve missed you
!
”

“
How are you feeling, hon
?”
he asked.

“I’
m feeling pretty good, Doc, thanks
,”
I replied
.“
Is Ryder around
?
”

“
Still sleeping
,”
he said, gesturing towards the hallway.

“
He alone
?”
I asked, hopefully.

Doc chuckled.

“
Far as I know
,”
he said
.“
H
e’
s been pretty down and lonely since you left
.
”

“
Thanks, Doc
,”
I replied, kissing him on the cheek.

I tiptoed down the hallway, leaving Doc in the kitchen and the people in the living room undisturbed.

I took a deep breath, and peeked inside.

He was still asleep, his chest rising and falling under the sheets, the sunlight streaming in over his naked shoulders.  The sight of him took my breath away. 

I had been yearning to see him again, feeling completely lost without him these last few months.  He was the first thing I thought about and the only thing I continued to think about the entire day. 

I was grateful we had saved all those girls, sure, but the victory was empty without Ryder by my side.  Now that I knew he existed, that our love existed, there was no way I could be happy without him.

I was determined to find a way to have him in my life.  I knew that could
n’
t happen if I was a cop.

Eventually, the solution came to me - in a dream, actually.

Another visit from my dad, the only person in my past who had ever been good to me.  As good as he could.  As good as he knew how.  He, too, had escaped the hell of living with my mother and her sons.  All she ever did was cheat on him, and he endured it as long as he could. And then, when he could
n’
t anymore, he simply left.  Just like my sister did.  And just like I did.

We all just had to go through hell first.

I blamed them both for leaving me behind, but eventually, I understood.  My dad did
n’
t know what had happened to me, he could only work with what he knew. If he had known,
I’
m certain he would have whisked me away.

But things did
n’
t work out that way.  They were what they were.

I came to accept them.

Just as I had come to accept Ryder.  Now, all I needed to get him to do was accept me, too. 

“
Ther
e’
s more than one way to skin a cat
,
”
my dad had said to me in my dream.  I was
n’
t sure what he was talking about, but after a few days of it lingering in my head, I understood.

After much contemplation, and many meetings with my Captain, I decided to quit the force.  I convinced them to keep me on as an outside consultant, but I would no longer be a police officer. 

I was beyond delighted. Relieved. If everything went as planned, then maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be all right after all.

I entered Ryde
r’
s room, quietly walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed next to him.  His blue eyes flew open, and widened when he saw me sitting there.

“
Hey
,”
I said, smiling down at him
.“
Remember me
?
”

EPILOGUE

They walked hand in hand along the moonlit path through the dense forest.  It was dark, quiet, the soft sounds of various forest critters echoing through the trees. As they pushed through the tree line, they approached what had quickly become their favorite spot. 

After six months, it had become a habit to visit after dinner every night, wandering out to sit next to the rushing creek, listening to the sounds of the night as they talked about their day.  Some nights they kissed for hours under the moonlight, and then there were the nights when they were
n’
t able to wait until they got back home to make love and Ryder took her right there on the fallen pine-needles.

Life had settled into a somewhat normal routine for them.  Whatever normal was.  Ryder had insisted he could
n’
t leave the clubhouse, and Grace had moved in.  The constant partying had taken some getting used to, but she enjoyed the moments like this when she got to be with Ryder alone and away from his club.

They had begun building their own cabin not far from the clubhouse.  It was in the beginning stages, but soon they would have their own private house, where they could get away from the club anytime they wanted.

As for the club, they had welcomed her with open arms. Even Cherry had apologized.  She seemed to look up to Grace now, even confessing that she, too, was a survivor.  They had become fast friends, and Grace almost felt like she had a new family.

It was comforting.

Riot had become her right-hand computer guru, helping her set up stings in the chat rooms that held so many predators just looking for the next thirteen year-old girl they could lure away from her home and take advantage of.  Once she had hooked one, she got the Bureau involved and turned the information over to them. 

Grace was able to do the job she loved, and be with the man she loved, all at the same time. 

Everything was working out perfectly.

Tonight, Grace and Ryder sat on the rock by the creek, while Oliver, the owl, perched in the branches above them.  He followed them out here every night, and Grace had eventually named him.  Ryder was
n’
t still was
n’
t quite sure what to make of him, but he tolerated his presence.  Not that he had much of a choice in the matter, though.

They did
n’
t mind.  He was a reminder of the past, and that was just fine.

“
Do you wish you had never remembered
?”
Ryder asked her, as she leaned into his arms.  He wrapped them around her, pulling her in close to his chest.

“
Not for a moment
,”
she replied, settling into his loving warmth, the familiar scent of leather comforting her like a soothing lullaby. 

“
You have to remember where you came from to appreciate where you are
.
”

***THE END***