Remember Me (Defiant MC) (13 page)

Maddox felt Gaby move past him.  “Come on,” she said to her son in a clipped, irritable voice.  “Let’s go home.” 

Miguel looked up from the dominoes and argued with his mother.  “Dad said I could stay here in his old room tonight.” 

“No,” said Gaby with absolute certainty. “You can’t.  Your uncle’s going to be staying here and he’s no babysitter.”

Maddox shrugged, annoyed with the way she dismissed him.  “Look, I don’t care if the kid stays.”

Gabriela whirled on him.  “Exactly,” she accused.  “You don’t care.” 

“Please, Mom,” said Miguel in a quiet voice. 

“Gaby,” Jensen interjected, running a tired hand across his face. “Come on.  What harm would it do?”

Gaby exhaled with obvious annoyance but she relented.  Maddox grinned as the boy clapped his hands and capered around in triumph.  He understood that to Miguel he was something of an idol.  He had been telling the truth; he wouldn’t mind having him around. 

Jensen was on a downhill slide.  After another half hour he was having difficulty remaining upright in his chair.  Gabriela ushered their son off to bed, glaring at Jensen before disappearing down the hall towards the room which was across the hall from the one Maddox had spent his boyhood.  The room which witnessed the origin of Miguel himself. 

Maddox swore silently, trying to push away the memory of Gaby and Jensen together.  His brother was clumsily trying to put the dominos away but Casey remained in the kitchen, staring at Maddox avidly.  She pressed her legs together with a small smile which said all kinds of dirty things.  Maddox understood that if he was after revenge it was staring him right in the face.  Yesterday he might have taken it.  He might have grabbed his brother’s wife and fucked her raw without conscience.  But today was different.  Here, in the presence of pain and death, he didn’t have the desire to be the worst version of himself. 

Casey was openly petulant when Maddox ignored her, helping Jensen into the pickup truck.  Jensen had been the upright one for a long time but now he had to lean on Maddox heavily, handicapped by his knee and by the bottle.  In spite of having spent the past decade refusing to think of Jensen, Mad didn’t like seeing him like this.  He knew if it continued then he would be burying his brother too soon. 

As he stood in the cracked driveway, watching them drive away, Gaby joined him.  The temperature had dropped about twenty degrees since the sun retreated.  It wasn’t cold, but it was cool. 

“Sorry,” said Maddox grudgingly.  “You know, about this afternoon.  I lost my head a little bit.  Gabs, I never intended to see you again.” 

He heard her sigh.  “Ah, don’t apologize. I’m sorry for a lot of things, Maddox.”

Mad didn’t want her regret.  He didn’t know what the hell he wanted.  He started to walk away but she pulled him back. 

“Really, I am.  You wouldn’t hear me back then and I don’t blame you.”  She winced.  “I don’t blame you one god damn bit.  It’s just…I was young.  I had a moment where I was lost, you know?  I was in pain.  Jensen was my friend.  He was in pain.” 

Maddox pushed her away.  “You think I fucking want to hear about it?”  He began to stalk back to the house and then changed his mind, pushing right up into her face.  “No, on second thought, tell me all the horny details.  Was it my face you were thinking of, Gabriela, while my brother was popping your cherry?” 

“Yes,” she said flatly and Maddox flinched, not expecting that.  “It was.  Just like I’ve thought about you every day for a decade.  I’m not going to say I’m sorry it happened because it would be saying I was sorry for having Miguel, but shit, Maddox.   I was wrong.  And I never forgave myself for the hurt it all I caused you.  I never will.”

“Good,” said Maddox, nodding, backing down a little.  “Good.”

Gaby played with the end of her dark ponytail, suddenly looking much younger, much more like the girl he’d once known.  “I loved you, Mad,” she said softly.  “I did.” 

Maddox felt his fists clench.  Her words just made it worse.  What was he supposed to say?  He’d loved her too, probably more than she ever could have guessed.  But if that wasn’t enough then, there was no point talking about it now. 

A long moment of silence passed and he heard a nocturnal creature scrabbling around under the nearby creosote. Coyotes began to yip to one another in the distance, claiming the hours which were supposed to belong to them. 

Gabriela sighed and withdrew a set of keys from her pocket.  “I’ll be here to pick him up in the morning. Early.” 

“Fine,” answered Maddox, looking toward the Scorpion Mountains, invisible in the darkness.   

“I left my cell number on the fridge.  Call if anything happens with Priest.” 

He didn’t look at her. “Sure, Gabriela.”

She hesitated, lingering for one more minute to see if he would say anything else.  But Maddox was done with the subject.  It was all exhausting to him. 

“Good night, Maddox,” she said softly and then climbed in her Versa, leaving him alone in the dark. 

Contention City, Arizona Territory

1888

It was late but Annika did not have the heart to put an end to the child’s lessons.  Desi de Campo had torn through three chapters of Darwin’s
The Origin of Species
and was avidly asking questions
.
Though the light was fading and she knew Mercer would arrive shortly, the teacher in her delighted in Desi’s enthusiasm.  The school for the Mexican American children of Contention City had stalled.  The students were being taught by a fifteen year old girl - who was scarcely literate herself - in an abandoned mining shack by the Hassayampa. 

Through James, Annika had let the de Campo family know she would happily make time for any child who wished to learn.  Thus far, Desi was the only one who showed up.  Five days a week for the last month he was eagerly waiting as soon as the other children departed.
 
The boy had an astonishingly sharp mind.  Annika only hoped he would be given the same opportunities as his peers.

“What does ‘theory’ mean exactly?” Desi asked, poring over the words with utter seriousness. 

Annika smiled, putting aside her lesson plan for the following day and joining him on the floor of the schoolhouse. 

“Scientific theory,” she explained, “is an explanation of sorts, supported by a vast amount of research which leads to one conclusion.” 

   Desi nodded, appearing to understand.  “So this man is saying that if you’re alive then it’s because you’re better, right?”

  
“In a way.  In his work Darwin describes ‘survival of the fittest’, which is a particular idea that competition for the planet’s resources has winners and losers.”

“So what am I?”  Mercer Dolan leaned against the doorway, looking casually down at them. “A winner or a loser?”  He grinned. 

Annika felt her mouth twitch.  “I don’t know, Mr. Dolan.  Why don’t you elaborate on your virtues so we may come to a conclusion?”  She was glad to be seated.  Something inside of her became instantly unsteady when Mercer entered a room.

Mercer must have walked to the school, as he usually did.  His beloved stallion, Axl, was likely in the stables over at Lizzie Post’s place.  He didn’t want any curious gawker to recognize
his horse tied up outside the schoolhouse late at night.  Annika would be questioned.   She watched him as he stood in the schoolhouse and considered her challenge.  For a man who claimed to care about very little, Mercer could be considerate.  

“Mr. Dolan,” Desi said with obvious pleasure.  Annika wondered how Mercer was acquainted with the boy. 

Mercer came forward and tousled his hair.  “Hey, son.  Tell your dad to save some of that good tequila he scored down south.” 

Desi nodded.  “I will, Mr. Dolan.” 

Mercer grimaced.  “And quit callin’ me Mr. Dolan.  My damn brother’s Mr. Dolan. I’m just Mercer.” 

The boy appeared mildly scandalized.  “Okay, Mercer.” 

The supper hour approached.  Annika knew the child’s mother would be looking for him so she sent him on his way.  He was overjoyed when she insisted he borrow
The Origin of Species
until the following Monday
.
 

Mercer watched him go and shook his head.  “He carries that damn book like it’s a precious treasure.” 

Annika stood then, running her palms along her long Gibson skirt.  “It is,” she told him in a haughty voice, beginning to gather the rest of her books.  She knew Mercer didn’t think much of formal schooling. 

Mercer’s arms were around her before she realized he had moved.  “Hey now,” he
said gruffly as his hands traveled to her waist, squeezing.  “I didn’t mean a thing by that, Annika.” 

She held the worn books stubbornly to her chest.  The school needed more than a few measly volumes to share among the students but books were expensive.  James was angling to secure additional funds from the school board. 

“There’s a lot of value in book learning,” she told him stiffly, ignoring the rise of heat in her breast which always surged when he touched her.  “It give these children a chance to be something other than-“

“Me?” he finished harshly, spinning her around and demanding her mouth.  Mercer knew how to kiss in a way that accepted no argument.  As Annika’s arms went around his broad shoulders she didn’t have the will to refuse him anyway. 

He ran his hands over her tightly bound breasts and her breath began coming in short gasps. Mercer felt for the nipples underneath the fabric and smiled.  “I’ve been waiting for this all day,” he said, being rough.  Surprisingly, Annika had found that she often liked him to be rough.

She unbuttoned his torn shirt and admired the hard muscles of his chest.  She wanted to feel more of him.  “And what does a day entail for you, Mercer?”

He ran a thumb over her lips.  “No holdups, if that’s what you’re asking.  The gang is dispersed for now and I’m temporarily an honest man.  Spent the day tracking wild horses.  But any hour spent on the back of a horse is better than nearly every alternative.  Nearly,” he grinned, fondling her.  “Hell of a lot better than turning your lungs to paste in that mine or lettin’ your hands get soft in the company of these smarmy businessmen.  It was a good day. Got a few of those wild ones roped in.”   

Annika arched her back as he felt beneath her skirt.  The desire alwa
ys followed his touch.  “And now you’re going to rope me in?” 

He lifted her.  “I’ve already roped you.  Let’s see how far in I get.” 

“Not here,” she whispered. 

Mercer knew when she meant it.  He carried her in the darkness to the teacherage. 

“We don’t need that,” Annika told him, objecting when he lit the lantern.  The oil was scarce and couldn’t be wasted. 

“I damn well need it,” he said, ripping off his shirt.  “Go on now.” 

She knew what he wanted.  Mercer watched as she unbuttoned her dress and let it fall.  Her stays weren’t laced tight and she had no difficulty removing the corset herself. 

“Your hair,” he commanded.  Annika removed the pins carefully, allowing the fair waves to fall in a cloud long past her shoulders. 

“Now the rest of it,” he said, running a hand over the hard bulge in his denims. 

She faced him utterly nude and smiled as he released himself, seizing her. 

“Mercer,” she moaned as he tackled her onto the bed.

“I know, darlin’.  I’ll be careful.” 

Annika felt herself growing slick between her legs as their mouths worked furiously.  She loved the taste of his skin, the feel of his weight.

“Holy hell,” he groaned as her head bent lower, for the first time taking his rigid organ fully in her mouth.  It was what she had thought about last night, as she lay in bed alone and wished for him. He grabbed her by the hair and showed her what he wanted. 

Annika cried out a little when he pulled her head away roughly.   His eyes were feverish as he separated her legs and climbed between them.   All these nights when they had played at the act of love, he had never committed the final deed.  He would now.  She knew it. 

“Mercer,” she whispered, touching his face, “I love you so.” 

He was at the slippery gateway of her sex.  Of course Annika had heard the matronly whispers of how it would hurt.  But that it would be all right because the pain was fleeting if you were in the arms of your husband.  However, Mercer Dolan wasn’t her husband.  She saw in his face that he had chosen tonight to thrust inside of her and take the moment for himself.  She didn’t want to stop him, not really.  Annika closed her eyes and braced herself. 

“Anni,” he said in a pained voice, still paused at her entrance.  It was a nickname only he called her.   She was surprised when he abruptly withdrew, rolling onto his back and shuddering with a sigh.  He saw her watching and gave her a wry grin.  “Dammit,” he said. 

“My darling,” she kissed his chest.  “I want it.  I want to be with you.” 

Mercer faced away.  “When you say that, Anni, you mean it in the way that requires standing up and saying words.”

She thought about taking Mercer Dolan as her husband.   The picture would not come easily.  “Would that be so terrible?”  She kissed him along his hard jaw, feeling the bristle of his early beard on her cheek.  “You could take me every night.  As you wanted to take me since that first night.”