Remember Me (7 page)

“You’re
mad.”

“I’m
beginning to come to that conclusion myself,” he whistled taking a swift look
down. “It doesn’t look quite so high from the ground.” Catlin knelt down so she
was on the same level he was.

“You
might be mad and have no sense of self-preservation, but I have missed you,”
she said, brushing his hair back of his forehead and giving him a kiss.

“With
a welcome like that, I’ll have to go away more often.”

“Don’t
you dare consider it. I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again.”

Catlin
kissed Ben for the second time, this time he enveloped her in his arms and held
her as closely and tightly as the balcony would permit. When they broke away
from the embrace, he forgot he was standing in mid-air and almost plummeted
down to the lawn below, but thanks to Catlin’s lightning quick grab and his own
snatch at the plants he managed to barely hold on.

“This
is ridiculous,” Catlin grunted breathlessly. “People might say that love gives
you wings, but that doesn’t mean you can fly! Get your body over here.”

“Someone
will see,” Ben objected verbally but offered no resistance to her efforts to
haul him over.

“They
are too busy congratulating one another to pay any attention to us.”

Back
inside, Maria was going around the room, from crowd to crowd in the hope of
finding Catlin. She had instinctively taken to the girl and when Guy’s lack of
discretion upset her, she gave Catlin the few minutes she’d need to compose
herself but after they had gone by and Catlin did not return, she decided to go
and see if she was all right. With no sign of her anywhere inside, Maria wondered
if she had sought sanctuary outside but away from the masses of people
cluttering up the main garden. She had once had a friend who was exactly the
same and who would creep off to some quiet corner at the first given
opportunity. She finally tracked Catlin down, catching sight of her through the
shut doors of the balcony windows. And, she was not alone. Maria paused,
figuring from the comedy routine going on that Catlin’s no-so-secret crush had
snuck into the party to see her. It brought back memories of happier days long
since lost. She could not resist watching and remembering her own youth. Then
she froze for an entirely different reason. Where her eyes playing tricks? Had
the thoughts of the past become somehow mixed with the visions of the present?
She saw what she saw, but it was not possible. There was no way it could be so.

Maria
continued to stare, refusing to accept the images they were showing her yet she
could not deny it was happening. She looked on without blinking as Catlin and
Ben talked, joked and kissed but her brain would not register it as real.

“Are
you okay honey?” William had joined his wife and was alarmed to see her skin
such a ghostly shade of white. Maria’s stare was broken as she looked over at
him but her voice had gone from her and she could not speak. She cast her eyes
back to where Catlin and Ben had been standing but he was gone and Catlin was
making her way back into the room. “Honey, what is it?” Maria did not permit
her gaze to stray from Catlin for the minutest span of time as she made her
excuses and left. “Maria? What is the matter? Are you feeling well?” Maria fell
against William, her legs shaking uncontrollably from the shock.

“That
girl, Catlin was it?”

“Yes.
Is there something wrong? Did she say something to offend you?”

“No,
it’s…”

“What
on earth is it?”

“I’ve
just seen something that cannot be and yet it was right there in front of me.”

“What?”
William demanded impatiently. Maria fixed him with a haunted stare.

“Ben.
That’s what. I saw Ben.”

Catlin’s
poise and graceful exit was thrown aside as she tore down the steps and back to
her car, surprising the driver with her premature return.

“Party
not go to plan?” he enquired genially as she ordered him to drive her home as
fast as was legally possible.

“Quite
the reverse. It was like a dream.” He dropped her outside the apartment
building, amused to see her pull off the ridiculous shoes she was tottering
about in as she tried to run with all speed through the entrance. During their
conversation on the balcony, Catlin and Ben had agreed to meet up back at her
place as soon as it was possible for Catlin to get away. She took her keys from
her bag and told Ben to let himself in and wait for her – she’d follow on as
quickly as good manners would allow. She lasted approximately a minute after
he’d left her, scrambling back down the same way he came. She hoped to slink
out of the door without being spotted, but Guy, who was doing everything but
sell her address to people, saw her and beckoned her to join him. Catlin bit
back the bile which rose at the delay, but she paused by the newest entourage
he’d acquired. Try as he might Guy’s legendary powers of persuasion could not
compete with her eagerness to be at Ben’s side and she was soon on her way.

She
flew up the stairs to the floor of her apartment and hurried along the hallway
before skidding to a halt outside her own front door. With the aid of the
compact mirror she had in her clutch bag, Catlin tidied her hair and checked
her cosmetics were in their proper place. Having been so vile to him, she
wanted to start to make amends by doing her best to look as good as nature
permitted. With her breath calmer, she opened the door which Ben had said he’d
leave unlocked. The room was illuminated by a solitary table lamp over by the
window and in the chair beside it was Ben. He could have made it to the
building barely minutes before Catlin’s own arrival, for she had left the party
almost at the same time he had, but he appeared to have been settled there for
a good while longer. The radio was playing quietly and he was pouring over her
book of poems.

“There
have been a few new additions made since I last read this,” he said with
bitterness, wondering privately if he had done the right thing in coming back
into her life. “As much as I love them, I’d have been better pleased not to be
the source of such bleak thoughts.”

Catlin
shut the door and edged over towards him.

“Don’t
trouble yourself on that score. I told you what goes in there relates and is
personal to me and no-one else. They come from me, are a part of me. Don’t go
taking responsibility for something you had no involvement in creating.” Ben
snapped the book closed, put it on the table and stood up. He came up to
Catlin, placing his hands around her waist, but could not bring himself to look
at her directly.

“But,
you were left feeling like that because of me, and that I should have hurt you
in anyway is something I will never be able to forgive myself for.” Catlin
exhaled heavily, shuffling nearer to him until her forehead rested against his,
took his hand and interlaced their fingers.

“Whatever
you think your going away took from me, the time we’ve had together has brought
more happiness into my life than I’d have hoped for where I to live a hundred
lifetimes. Those verses are not about your hurting me – they’re about what I’d
realised I’d lost when I sent you away. A mistake I have no intention of
repeating.” Ben played thoughtfully with the pendant she was wearing, wishing
he could be sure which the best course of action was to take, and unconvinced
as to the damage he’d done by coming to her.

“Come
on,” Catlin said in a brighter tone, determined not have their reunion spoiled.
“This is my favourite song and though I’ve been out on the town, I am still
waiting for someone to ask me to dance.” Ben was reluctant to let his
self-imposed torment go but Catlin took the initiative, repositioning his hold
and setting their dance in motion. Ben took a while to warm up, struggling
inwardly with the emotions that were stirred within him at having her so very
close to him, but with Catlin humming along to the song, her delicate fingers
stroking his hair as he held her securely in his arms, he soon found it
impossible to resist her charms and his worries were obliterated by others of a
more demanding nature. His mouth was dry and it was all he could do to prevent
himself from throwing her onto the sofa and taking her there.

The
song ended, the next one played and they danced on, the silence between them
saying more than words could manage to convey. Each touch betrayed a thousand
illicit thoughts, a glance revealing the lustful yearnings they each fantasised
about.

“You
know, when I saw you on the balcony this evening, I was blown away by how
beautiful you looked,” Ben said, breaking the quiet only to ease the throbbing
ache that was beginning to build at the base of his spine. Catlin managed to
contain the hysterical laugh which seized her.

“It
wasn’t me – it was the moon. Everything looks beautiful in the moonlight.” Ben
stopped swaying to the music and fixed his eyes onto Catlin’s.

“No
it wasn’t. It was you. You were, are, beautiful.” Catlin saw he was not teasing
her, but was being quite serious.

“Wow.
I could almost actually believe you mean that.”

“I
do mean it. You are the most beautiful amazing and wonderful woman I’ve ever
met.”

Catlin’s
pulse quickened. Ben’s hold on her had not altered in the slightest but there
was something new in it suddenly, something she had not sensed before but which
spoke volumes. She put up no resistance as he drew her into him, allowing him
to position her as he wanted. His kiss was cautious to begin with, for Ben
wanted to be certain he had not misread the signs Catlin had been giving out,
but as she responded by teasingly searching out his tongue with hers, he
allowed the restraints, which were barely able to hold back the passions this
woman awoke in him, to break. His kisses grew harder, more demanding and Catlin
matched them like for like. Caught up in the surge of overwhelming passions which
took hold of him, Ben pressed her up against the wall in an attempt to get as
close to her as he physically could. His lips sought out the delicate,
sensitive curve of her throat, slowly working his lips down her neck and to her
shoulders, pulling the thin straps of her dress away as he reached her chest.
Catlin gasped for breath as the first waves of desire began to ripple through
her. She had begun to open the buttons on his shirt, one by one, before he
lowered her dress straps and she ran her finger tips over his chest, down to
his waist and up his back. As near as he was it was not near enough for Catlin.
She lifted her leg, hooking it around his, pulling him further into her,
wondering how much longer she would be fight back the convulsion that was threatening
to claim her.

Without
allowing a single inch of space to come between their bodies, they headed
through to the bedroom. Ben had her dress unzipped with one, smooth, continuous
move, and he did it without Catlin being aware of the motion. With a feather-light
touch which made his groin burn intensely, Catlin unbuckled his belt and opened
his jeans. Her hand being so close to his loins was too much for them both to
endure. Discarding the last of their clothes, Ben guided Catlin down onto the
bed, their naked bodies entwined together. Catlin thought she would explode -
the sensations which swept through her were so strong and intense she dug her
nails into the rigid muscles of his back. Ben was as gentle a lover as any
woman could wish for. His hands carefully caressed every part of her body,
delighting in the sensual discoveries they made. His mouth bestowed the softest
kisses as he worked from her mouth to her neck and onto her breasts, his tongue
devilishly accurate, making sure each inch of her was aflame before he sought more
secret and sensitive places.

It
was a new experience for Catlin. She was used to men hurrying through this part
of love making, eager to reach their own climax. Ben not only took the time to
ensure she was aroused but he too seemed to gain pleasure from it for Catlin
could feel the growing throb of his manhood as the moment of their union
neared. Leaning over her, Ben reached down and parted her legs, easing himself
in between her thighs. The pressure of his weight on her pelvis sent erotic
shockwaves through each of Catlin’s muscles of such an intensity she wondered
how much longer she could delay her own release. She ran the tip of the nail of
her ring finger in a curved line lightly down the length of Ben’s spine,
starting in the centre of his shoulder blades and working all the way down to
the small of his back, ending the serpentine tracing in a spiralling circle,
drawing an involuntary groan from him and causing his hips to press harder
against hers. She felt him harden between her thighs.

In
the past Catlin had always been aware of the moment of penetration, no matter
how much she had been caught up in the excitement, but as Ben entered her all
she was knew was her longing was over, she was complete. They were not two separate
beings, but one complete soul. She tightened around him as they rocked in
unison, her cries of ecstasy lost as they mingled in with Ben’s own release as
they were swept away and lost to the thousand overpowering impulses of their
orgasm. When their passion was spent, and they lay locked together still, Ben
lifted his head and looked down at her. He kissed her tenderly, saying
breathlessly,

“I
love you Catlin Manners.” Catlin fingered the contours of his face, bringing
them to a stop on his lips to silence him.

“You
don’t have to say that,” she told him. He brushed her hand away, kissing the
fingers intended to keep him from saying something he either felt obliged to
say or wish to take back later.

“Yes,
I do, because it is true. I love you Cate. I always have and I always will.”
Catlin sat up and kissed him.

“I
suppose it’s just as well you feel that way. You see, I love you too.”

Ben
smiled but there was something of a pained expression behind the joy, but
Catlin could see this was not the time to interrogate him, but offer comfort.
She settled back down on the bed, lowering him down beside her, holding his
head into her chest, unable to ignore the way Ben clung onto her, as if he was
afraid that should he allow his hold to ease for the briefest interlude,
something would snatch her away from him.

“It’s
all right,” she whispered. “I’m not going anywhere without you. Rest, my
love.”  It took a while for him to relax, and Catlin deliberately stayed awake
until she was sure Ben slept, stroking his hair for reassurance all the while.
“I won’t leave you. I will never leave you,” she promised and she too drifted
off.

It
was a few hours later that Catlin stirred abruptly from her dreams. There was
something wrong. She was resting on her side and Ben was lying up against her.
She would have been able to tell he was awake even if he hadn’t been holding
her hand in a vice-like grip, as if he was frightened. She was sure of the
cause, for she felt the same terror, had the same irrational sense of
foreboding and it stole the warmth from her blood. She had not known Ben to be
scared before and dread engulfed her but she fought it, not wanting to alarm
Ben further and pretended to be asleep.

“Remember
me. No matter what happens, please remember.” The words were faint, distant and
Catlin thought they were a lyric from a song on the radio which was still
playing. But the words had not come from a song or the radio. They came from
Ben. It wasn’t a goodbye or a regret.  It was a plea. Remember me. What did it
mean? Had the ominous force which invaded their tranquillity been a premonition
of some approaching misfortune? Catlin cringed inside and snuggled into the
warm folds of Ben’s embrace. She would not risk going to sleep again that night,
less some entity should swoop down and take Ben from her and she lay silent in
her protective vigil until dawn broke.