Remember Me (17 page)

She stubbed her bare feet against stumps of felled trees and tripped over dead branches, but somehow she managed to hold on to her baby. Just as she thought she was well away from the mayhem on the beach, however, she saw two men in front of her.

‘Lookee here,’ one of them shouted. ‘Fresh meat.’

‘Don’t hurt me,’ Mary screamed out in terror, for she knew whichever way she ran, one of them would catch her. ‘I’ve got a baby with me.’

‘We ain’t after hurting a baby,’ one of them said. ‘Just put it down and be nice to us.’

Mary screamed and clutched Charlotte even tighter to her. But one of the men grabbed her shoulder and pushed her down to the ground.

Flat on her back, still holding Charlotte who was now screaming too, Mary fought with the only weapons she had, her legs and feet. It was too dark to see, but she felt the heel of her foot land in a soft place and the yell that followed it suggested she’d struck his belly.

‘Get off me, you brutes,’ she yelled. ‘There’s plenty of willing women back there.’

One man pinned her down by the shoulders, the second one grabbed her by the knees and forced them apart. She could smell their sweat and rancid breath.

‘Damn you to hell,’ she screamed out, still bucking frantically. ‘Help me, someone!’

The man who held her legs apart was pulling her on to him as he knelt in front of her, the other one was still holding her shoulders in a grip of steel. She heard someone crashing through the bushes even over Charlotte’s screams, but that increased her terror further as she thought it would be another man wanting to join in.

‘Let her go,’ a male voice bellowed out, and to her shock she recognized the voice as Will’s. She saw nothing more than a dark shadow, then heard a crack, and the man about to rape her toppled back on to the ground.

There was another loud crack and the hands on her shoulders fell away. ‘That’s my woman,’ Will roared out, and all at once he was pulling her up and holding her in his arms.

‘There, there,’ he said gently, disengaging himself slightly so Charlotte wouldn’t be crushed. ‘You’re safe now.’

Taking her arm, he led her away. Mary had to suppose he had knocked the two men out with some kind of cudgel, but she didn’t turn to look.

‘Did they do it?’ he asked breathlessly.

‘No,’ she gasped out. ‘You were just in time.’

Will took her much further into the trees, and when they came to one that offered some real shelter from the heavy rain, he stopped and made her sit down.

‘Are you or the babby hurt?’ he asked, sitting down beside her and putting his arm around her.

‘I don’t think so,’ she replied, rocking Charlotte in her arms to soothe her.

All at once she was crying as she had never cried since her trial. All the hardships, deprivations, the cruelty and humiliations she had endured for so long seemed to come to the surface, just because one man cared enough to comfort her.

‘You’re safe now,’ he whispered, holding her tight and rocking her. ‘I won’t let anyone touch you again.’

A little later it stopped raining as suddenly as it had begun, and the moon came out from behind the clouds. Will continued to hold Mary as she offered Charlotte her breast to calm her. They were soaking wet and covered in mud, but at least it wasn’t cold.

‘I came looking for you when it all got nasty,’ Will explained. ‘I’d seen Sarah and Bessie earlier and they said you was back in the tent putting Charlotte down. I should have come to you then.’

‘I was scared almost as soon as we came ashore,’ Mary admitted. ‘Everyone was so wild.’

‘It was like a madness caught them all,’ Will said, his tone hushed and shocked. ‘I’ve never seen the like afore.’

‘How did you find me?’

He was silent for a moment, and she guessed his conscience wasn’t entirely clear either.

‘I saw a gang going through all the women’s tents,’ he said eventually. ‘I guessed if you were in there you’d get out the back and run for it. So I went that way, and I heard a babby crying.’

‘Will it always be this way?’ Mary whispered. She was
shivering with shock, the vivid pictures of what she’d seen down on the beach still dancing before her eyes.

‘I don’t reckon so,’ he sighed. ‘Tomorrow the officers will take control, there’ll be floggings for some, chains for others, it will settle down.’

‘I hope you’re right,’ she said. ‘But I don’t like the thought of living with those London women, they scare me to death.’

‘You scared?’ he teased. ‘A girl who is brave enough to ask a man to marry her?’

‘I wish I hadn’t now,’ she admitted. ‘It must have seemed so forward. It was just that we appeared to have so much in common, I really like you and as tonight proved, women do need some protection here.’

‘They do indeed,’ he said thoughtfully. ‘But I think us men will need a good woman beside us too. So we will get married.’

‘You want to marry me?’ She was so surprised it dried up her tears instantly.

‘Well, I don’t want one of those London harpies full of pox,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘You were right, Mary. We’ll make a good team, you and me. They’ll need someone to fish, a lot of the food they brought with us is rotten. I think I can bargain for us to get a house of our own, my mind’s a bit sharper than most of the others.’

Mary was very aware he wasn’t saying he loved her, only that he thought she was clean and useful to him. Yet he had fought off those men for her, he’d comforted her just when she needed it. This place was going to be a living hell, and she doubted she could survive it alone.
She didn’t expect or need romantic love, she’d settle for protection.

Four days after that terrible night, Will and Mary were married by the Reverend Johnson under the shade of the big tree where he’d held his first service. They weren’t alone, other couples married too, perhaps for the same reasons as Mary and Will.

Mary had no finery to wear, just the same shabby old grey dress freshly washed, and an artificial flower in her hair, lent to her in an unusually generous gesture by Cheapside Poll.

Mary had no real expectations, either of her marriage or of this new country. In the four days since coming ashore she had observed that the vast majority of the convicts were bone idle and devious. They would steal anything, cared nothing for the idea of working for the common good, and many were already bartering rations or belongings with the Marines for drink. The Marines were every bit as bad, and there was a lack of organization on the part of the officers and the powers that be who had sent them out from England.

Will had been right in saying some of the food was rotten. Mary had had to eat rice crawling with maggots and the salted beef was almost inedible. Tools were of inferior quality, there were too few women’s clothes, and a complete lack of skilled men.

She wondered how they could farm this desolate place when there were but two men out of hundreds who knew anything about farming or animal husbandry. How could
a town be built without skilled carpenters or brickmakers? Captain Arthur Phillip had his house erected, a superior canvas one, a store-house had been built to lock away the provisions, and a few tents had been put in isolation as a hospital.

But the animals brought with them were in poor health, and dysentery had already broken out among those weakened by the voyage. Captain Phillip might be proud that only forty-eight people overall had died on the way here, but how many more would perish before the year was out?

An eighty-year-old woman hanged herself from a tree on that first night ashore. Many women still had black eyes and a hunted look. There were snakes, spiders and many flies and other insects, any of which could be dangerous. As for the natives, the officers seemed intent on getting their cooperation, when even an illiterate girl like herself could sense they bitterly resented this swarm of white people who’d taken it upon themselves to oust them from their land. Mary wondered how long it would be before their curiosity turned to real anger and they began killing.

But Will had been as good as his word. Not only had he pledged to marry her, he’d already made a deal that put him in charge of fishing and allowed him to build a hut for himself.

Mary glanced at him standing next to her, and smiled. He looked so handsome in a clean shirt and breeches; he’d even shaved off his bushy beard, and his blond hair was as bright as ripe corn. She knew most of the women
envied her, for he was without doubt the most attractive and capable of all the male convicts. She might have her work cut out keeping him faithful to her, and perhaps his bragging would be wearing, but she did like and trust him. That was enough.

As the wedding ceremonies ended and everyone drifted back to their tents or the huts they were building, Lieutenant Tench stood for a little while watching Mary and Will walk away up the beach.

He was in a state of confusion about everything. Nothing was as he’d expected – not the country, nor the organization, nor the officers from the other ships. Even the stores they’d brought with them were inadequate. It was a shambles, in fact. And from what he’d seen of the convicts so far, it was going to be an uphill struggle to get any of them to work.

As far as he could see, only a handful of officers shared his will to make this place work. As for his men, most of them were behaving appallingly, every bit as devious and idle as the convicts.

He had thought he would feel more positive after the weddings today. They were, after all, one way of injecting a little joy into a new community, a show of hope for the future. Yet he had felt no joy at seeing those couples married. What he felt was utter sadness.

His mother always cried at weddings. She believed the more she cried, the happier the couple would be. But he knew his mother’s tears weren’t sad ones, they were pure emotion at a public declaration of love between two people.

Perhaps that was the cause of his sadness, knowing the couples married today were not in love. The women wanted protection and security, the men wanted sex.

He had thought he’d be happy to see Mary under Will’s protection. But he hadn’t considered till now that meant she would be her husband’s in every way.

He turned sharply and walked away towards the store-sheds. Maybe if he found something constructive to do he’d overcome these ridiculous feelings milling around inside him. Mary looked pretty and happy. Will was a decent enough man. They were right for each other.

‘It will be a nice little place once I’ve finished it,’ Will said later that same night, as he laid their blankets on the hard-packed dirt beside Charlotte’s crib.

They were in their new hut, which at present was nothing more than a few poles hammered together and the walls interwoven branches, with a piece of sacking tacked on a stick for a door. The roof was not yet on, and when Mary sat down on the blankets and looked up, the night sky strewn with a myriad stars looked very beautiful. Their bellies were full, as extra rations had been dished out to honour the weddings today, and Will had managed to get hold of some rum to celebrate.

Rules had been made since that first night ashore. Male convicts were banned from the women’s area, and guards were on duty to make sure no one slipped in. There was also a dusk curfew when everyone was supposed to be back in their own quarters. It didn’t actually work, men
did get in with the women, but at least it was covert, and the women willing.

‘Plenty of fresh air,’ Will said, and laughed. ‘I can stand upright too. Beats that stinking ship anyways, or a tent with the men. Now, come here and give your husband a kiss.’

Mary needed no urging; since Will had announced their wedding plans she’d found she had status, and for that she was extremely grateful. Even Poll and her two cronies, three of the most foul-minded women Mary had ever met, were awed that she was wanted by the most desirable convict in the colony.

There were good things here. It was hot, the sand on the beach soft and white, the sea so blue and clean, and there were hundreds of beautiful birds. Even the trees had a lovely smell that cleared your nose. It beat a prison back in England any day.

Now Mary had a home, well away from everyone else, and even if it hadn’t got a roof yet, nor a stick of furniture, and the first storm would knock it down, it was theirs. Will had managed to get her a cooking pot, a bucket for carrying water, and a few other essential pieces of household equipment from the stores to start married life.

He’d already kissed her several times today, and he did so tenderly. She hadn’t expected to want him, but she found she did; in fact for the first time in over a year she was really happy to be where she was.

‘You’re such a little thing,’ he said gruffly as he helped her out of her dress. He cupped his big hands round her breasts
and squeezed them, then sliding his hands down to her buttocks squeezed them too. ‘A bit skinny, but I never was one for fat women.’

He lifted her up in his arms then and laid her down on the blankets. Mary expected nothing more than for him to pull off his clothes, a quick coupling, then for him to fall asleep. But to her surprise Will made no attempt to undress himself, only to caress her. She had once heard him bragging to a sailor on the
Charlotte
that once he’d bedded a woman they always came back begging him for more. She believed it now, for she was afraid that any moment he might stop. His touch was so sure and slow, his fingers found exquisitely sensitive places to touch that until now she hadn’t even known existed.

The hard ground beneath the rough blanket, the crudeness of their unfinished house, even the hardship she’d been through were forgotten as Mary gave herself up to the bliss of his love-making. When she opened her eyes and saw the stars above, she could have been lying on a feather bed in a royal bedchamber, the stars just a decoration on the ceiling. Will made her forget she wasn’t pretty, or that there were lice in her hair; for once she was beautiful, desirable and loved.

She never could have believed she could behave like a wanton, begging for more, asking him to show her what pleased him, and doing it all too eagerly. At the peak of it all the thought crossed her mind that it was worth crossing the world in a prison ship to feel like this. She didn’t care about the future, she just wanted this night to last forever.