Remember Love (2 page)

I roll out of bed
, stumble to my suitcase to grab today’s clothes, then I head downstairs to take a shower. I don't see my mom and since it’s almost noon, I figure she’s already left for Pa’s cookout. This doesn't bother me. I love my Mom. She is always there when I need her, but we are not overly affectionate or needy with each other.

I dress
in jeans, a fitted t-shirt, and boots before heading to the farm. Glancing at the clock on my dashboard, I see it’s already two o’clock. Well, it looks like I will arrive a little early. I roll down my windows as I drive. Call me odd, but I love the smell of the country. Nothing like cow manure to open up your sinuses.

I park
at the edge of the field in front of my Pa's house so my vehicle will be unobstructed by other cars when I decide to leave. That's the good thing about my SUV. I can easily drive this baby right through the field. I jump out, slam the door, and start to walk toward the house. I look at the ground as I walk because I know to watch my step on a farm.

A shadow appears beside me and I
instinctively know who it is, but I look anyway. And yep I’m right. Thank God I’m wearing sunglasses and Tucker can't see me checking him out. He's dressed almost the same as he was yesterday except today he wears a plain white t-shirt and a ball cap. Lucky for him it’s camo and not UK blue. I snort out a laugh and Tucker grins at me.

That grin stops me
in my tracks. His eyes travel from the top of my head to the tip of my boots. As his eyes rake over my body, I shiver as though I feel them everywhere.

“What are you
grinning at?” I ask.

“You.”

Okay
, that was helpful. “Why?”

“Because
, if you run away again, I want to remember every single detail of the grown woman standing in front of me to go along with all the other details I’ve stored from years past.”

Oh wow, good answer
. What the fuck do I say to that? “I didn't run away. I moved away to go to school.” Why does he think I ran?

“You could have
gone to school closer or come back home more often to visit. It's been four years, Brenna. That seems like running to me.”

“Whatever
, Tucker.” I don't understand where this is coming from. “What's so special here that I should’ve stayed?”

Tucker
’s gaze goes out over the fields and I wonder if he’s going to answer. He finally looks at me and I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I know it wasn't what he says next. “I'm here.” With that he walks past, leaving me there stunned.

“Wait!
” I say.

Tucker stops,
but doesn't turn to face me.  I walk around to in front of him, confused. “What does that mean?”

He looks down at me and I hear him sigh
. Then he steps forward and runs his finger down my cheek. My body reacts as though I’ve touched an electric fence. His finger leaves a trail of sparks along my skin.

Tucker says,
“Just what I said, I'm here, and I thought I was something special. At least at one time, I was.”

“I don't understand. Wh
ere’s all this coming from? We were friends. You didn't even speak to me the last time I saw you. So, what’s this?”

I don’t bother to mention the months we were more than just friends. What if he doesn’t remember
them? Or was I simply a naïve girl, thinking they meant more than they really did? No, I couldn’t go there today. The heartbreak was enough the first time, thank you very much.

I remember the last time I
saw Tucker before I moved away. He was sitting on the hood of his car, talking to my ex Wesley. When I pulled up, Tucker slid off the hood and stared at me but never said a word. He just nodded and then got into his car and left.

“This,” he
waves his hand between us, “is me finally getting what I’ve always wanted.”

“And what’
s that?”

“You.”
He’s voice is so serious. I know he isn't messing with me.

“Since when?”

“Since we climbed that tree,
” he says pointing over his shoulder.

I look
over at our tree then walk toward it slowly. I hear Tucker's boots crunching in the gravel behind me.

When I get
there, I walk all the way around it and see the limb Tucker used to help me reach. I could probably climb up there all by myself now.

“Need a lift
?” Tucker asks, squatting beside me, hands cupped.

I shake my head no and step away from the tree.
His disappointment shows clearly on his face. We are too old to be climbing trees.

I
say, “I need to go up to the house and see if Mom needs any help.”

“Alright
, I'll see you around then,” he says as he turns from me and walks away.

As Tucker
leaves, I look at the tree knowing what I have to do. I set off toward the house and hope that when the time comes, he follows me.

When I get to the house it looks like everything is
set up for the cookout. Guests are milling around the yard. I see Tucker standing with his parents, but I'm not ready to approach them yet.

“OUCH!” I
suddenly holler as I feel pinchers on me. My Pa is known for pinching. He thinks it's funny.

Laughing
, Pa says “Oh, that didn't hurt, did it?”

“Yes
, Pa, it did. Go pinch someone with more meat on their bones,” I say as I hug him. My Pa swears he’s 29, which is impossible since I’m 22.

He never would let me help on the farm
, except to feed the calves and play in the milk barn. I can't fault him for that, though. I’m female, and his granddaughter, which means no “man's work” for me. My place was “in the house with the woman folk” as he would say. I hated that.

I have never heard a
ny person utter a bad word against Pa. He’s very likeable, and this entire town knows him by name. Hell, half the state knows him by name, but that’s to be expected when you’ve been farming as long as he has. There is no other man on this planet that is as strong or as good as my Pa.

As if they have a mind of their own, m
y eyes scan the yard and land on Tucker, bringing on another memory.

“What are you doing?” Tucker scowls down at me.

“I'm gonna help you feed the calves, dummy. What do you think?” I say as I fill the bottle with formula.

“You’re
not feeding calves wearing that!”

I look down at my clothes, which
I didn't bother to change after school. I’m wearing a white shirt, a mini skirt, and boots. “Why not?” I reply. “I'm sticking a bottle in their mouths, not rolling around in the dirt with them.”

Tucker rolls his eyes at me and goes back to work. I
don't know what his problem is. It's not like this is my first time feeding calves.

I get to see him
on the days when my grandma picks me up from school. I love those days .

“Come on Feisty
, it's time to eat.” Pa says as he starts over to the table where the food is set up.

I raise my head and my eyes connect with Tucker's. Has he been watching me this whole time? Does he remember that day I helped him feed? It seems so long ago.
I think I was eleven at the time.

I break ey
e contact and start over toward the food.

“There’s my baby,
” a voice calls out to me.

I turn
to see Anna hustling my way. The instant I smile at her, I’m wrapped in her arms.

She says,
“It's so good to see you, Brenna. I'm so glad you're home.” 

“It's good to see you too
, Anna. I’m only here until tomorrow and then I’m heading back to Louisville.”

Anna looks
crestfallen at my announcement. “I wish you’d come back home. He's been waiting for you,” she says glancing over my shoulder. I don't have to look because I know who she’s talking about. “Come on and see John. He’ll be so happy to see you.”

I don't want to go over there where Tucker is
, but I can't refuse Anna. So I follow her to where Tucker stands beside his father.

“
Look who I found.” Anna hollers to John.

John
spins around and puts his hands over his heart.

I can't
control my laughter at the huge smile spreading across his face.

John says,
“Brenna, my love, let's run away and get married.”

I laugh even harder at this and throw myself in his arms.
“Whenever you’re ready, let's go.”

I
peer over John’s shoulder to see Tucker smiling and shaking his head. I release John and put my arm around his waist as we turn to face Anna and Tucker.

“Anna
, I need to divorce you so I can marry Brenna.” John says with all seriousness. This earns him a slap to the arm and a huff from Anna.

“You can't marry her
, you idiot. Tucker would never come visit you if you did.”

“Yes
, he would. At least then he’d know where she was.” John gives me a pointed look.

I don't know
how to respond so I keep my mouth shut.

“Come on
, y'all. Let's go eat and let these kids catch up.” Anna says as she puts her arm around Tucker and they move toward the food.

John
and I follow slowly behind them. He asks, “Are you back to stay, Brenna?”

“No, only for the weekend.”

“Y
ou know he misses you. That boy’s pined for you almost his whole life.”

I stop walking and look at
John. “How did I not know this before today?”

“Because
, baby girl, the time wasn't right. But now, y'all are both grown, and it doesn't matter much what others want. It's only what y'all want. That boy’s loved you forever and I'm pretty sure you loved him, too. You just need to remember.”

With that
, John starts walking again. I'm not sure how long I stand there staring off into space, before he came back, putting his arm around my waist, leading me to the table.

“Just talk to him
, Brenna. That's all I ask.”

As I fix my plate
, I think about what Tucker and his parents said. I always had a soft spot for him but I never thought I was more than his friend. Well, except for that one time. But now I wonder if I was wrong. It's time to find out.

I
finish making my plate and grab a drink, then start across the yard. I am going to eat under our tree, and I hope Tucker follows.

Talk to him
. Yes, I can do that. What do I have nothing to lose?

Chapter Three

I settle under the tree with my back against the trunk and my plate in my lap star
ing out over the field. I chose to sit on the side where I couldn't be seen from Pa's yard.

I he
ar John’s voice in my head.
Remember.
Questions plague my mind.

Did I miss something? Did I
forget a promise I made to Tucker? Am I just supposed to remember all the times we were together? He was the one that walked away, not me. I need to know. Maybe this was the change I thought about right before I got on the interstate yesterday.

“Mind if I join you?”

I look up to Tucker standing there with his plate in one hand and a drink in the other.

“Not at all.”
I smile up at him.

Tucker wastes no time sitting next to me. We both stare
at the field while we eat. That's one thing about us, we don't need to talk. We can sit here together in silence and be content with each other’s company. I’ve never had that with anyone else.

“Brenna?”
he finally asks.

“Yeah?”

“What are you going to do when you graduate?”

I turn to
him and shrug. “I don't know yet. I haven't decided if I will stay in Louisville or move back here.”

“What are you doing tonight?” Tucker ask
s as he lowers his empty plate to the ground beside him.

“
Nothing. Why?”

“Wanna go fishing with me
, or are you too city for that now?” He smirks.

“Tucker Wade
, you better take that shit back right now before I show you how redneck I still am.”

“Oh yeah, how redneck are
ya?”

“I can bait my own hook.” I grin at him.

“Come on then. Let's get out of here.” Tucker stands up and offers me his hand. He pulls me up so fast I fly straight into his chest. There's that damn electric fence again. I wonder if he feels it, too.