Remember Love (14 page)

Tucker

Good thing I had plenty of work to keep me busy these past four days. They have passed so slowly without Brenna. I spent a lot of time under the hood of this old Chevy, replacing all the belts and hoses. Would’ve been done by now if Spencer and I would stop gabbing like two old ladies.

Spencer Jacobs has worked for me for the past two years and we’ve become pretty good friends. I’ve told him all about Brenna over the past couple weeks
. I’m surprised he hasn’t thrown a wrench at me by now. I’ve also told him about Lexi and I plan to introduce them soon.

After getting the last belt into place
, I grab my rag out of my back pocket to clean off my hands so I can reach for my phone. I heard it beep a few minutes ago. Looking at the screen, I see a text from Brenna. As soon as I read it I have a feeling I’m not going to like her answer. I text her back, asking her who she saw. Within seconds, I know my instincts were right.

Brenna:
Wesley

“Son of a bitch!”
I yell.

Spencer looks up from the tools he’s cleaning to see what I’m
angry about.

I continue.
“Her fucking ex, the dick I told you about. Wesley. She saw him at the same mall today.”

Tucker: Did he say anything to you?

Brenna: Long time no c. asked if I missed him. said he missed me.

Tucker: that all?

Brenna: yeah Tucker that’s all.

Tucker: ok baby
call u in a bit

Brenna: ok

Sliding my phone in my pocket, I tell Spencer what Brenna said. This sense of uneasiness won’t go away. I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of Wesley Mitchell and I plan to be there if he somehow finds her again.

“Hey Spence, I think I’m going to Louisville
in the morning. You gonna be okay here without me?”

“Yeah man, take care of business
. I got this.”

“Thanks. I may be overreacting.”

“Nah, go with your gut. You need me, you call.”

I give him a nod, and
I’m about to close the hood when my phone rings. It’s a number I don’t know but I answer it anyway.

“Tucker,
it’s Lexi.”

Instantly
, my stomach is in my throat. The first words out of my mouth are, “Is she okay?”

When she tells me that Brenna’s
fine I let out a huge burst of air and listen as she talks. She says she got my number from Brenna’s phone, and she’s afraid Brenna wouldn’t tell me about Wesley. I tell her I’m coming to Louisville tonight, and to keep an eye on my girl till I get there.

I don’t e
ven bother to tell Spencer I’m leaving tonight instead of in the morning, since he can hear my conversation with Lexi. I finish up as quickly as possible and rush home to shower and pack.

I feel
an urgency to get to Brenna. I know it’s probably just an irrational fear of losing her to Wesley again. Logically, I know it would never happen, but my fear lingers.

An hour later I’m out the door and northbound
. I will only relax when Brenna opens her door and I see that’s she’s okay.

I’m about ten minutes away from
her exit when I hear my phone beep with a text. Normally I wouldn’t look while driving. This time, however, I will. Bringing my phone up to eye level. I read the text from Lexi.

He’s here.

Motherfucker! Looking around and seeing no cops, I push the gas pedal down, turning ten minutes into five. I pray that traffic isn’t backed up between the exit ramp and Brenna’s apartment. The last thing I need is to get pulled over or wreck my truck. That would take up too much time, and every minute counts. I need to get there before Wesley leaves.

Brenna

I just got out of the shower and dressed when
I hear a knock at my door. I forgot I locked it after Lexi left earlier. I bet she doesn’t know what to think, having to knock for once. Rubbing the towel over my hair to dry it, I unlock the door and swing it open while turning around and making my way into the kitchen to grab us drinks.

“Good to know you were expecting me.”

That voice stops me in my tracks. Wesley. Here in my apartment. My heart is racing and my stomach just met my throat. “What are you doing here, Wesley?”

He strolls in and looks around
before plopping his ass down on my couch. Who does he think he is? Did I invite him in? I learn quickly how many different ways you can call yourself a dumbass. The one time I don’t look through the peephole and this is what I get.

Wesley says,
“Heard you were in town recently, and with Tucker both times. He was out of town the weekend in between.”

I
spot my phone on the counter by the microwave. Thank you, Jesus, for this being the last place I used my phone. I send Lexi a “911 he’s here” message so she knows to get her ass over here. I’m not afraid of Wesley. I just don’t want to be near him.

“So what’s your point?”
I ask.

Wesley
stands up and walks into the kitchen, stopping in front of me. “You two together now?”

“That’s none of your business.”

He stares at me a moment then opens his mouth and starts spewing word vomit everywhere. He thinks it’s funny that Tucker pined away for me for so many years. His words, not mine. Then he proceeds to tell me all about how he put Stacy up to her antics and she was more than happy to do oblige.

I tune out most of his
crap until what he says next sinks in.

He sneers.
“She wasn’t the only one, either. He ran through girls faster than I did. It was like a contest to see who could nail the most chicks. You leaving town was the best thing to ever happen to Tucker.”

My breath leaves my body
and I feel light headed. I know I shouldn’t let his words bother me, nor should I believe them. Before I can speak, the door opens and Lexi comes in.

She glares at Wesley.
“What the hell are you doing here? Haven’t you caused enough shit over the years?”

“What do you know about me?”
he asks.

“Enough to know
that you’re a douche.” She snaps back at him.

Tuning out Lexi and
Wesley as they bicker back and forth, all I can hear are his words and Tucker’s parents’ words mixing around in my head. All the pain I caused Tucker… I couldn’t blame him if he’d lied to me about Stacy being the only one. Maybe all this was to hurt me as badly as I hurt him.

No
, Brenna you know better I tell myself. Think about the way he looks at you. Think about all the hours you’ve spent in his arms and all the sweet things he whispers in your ear.

Unfortunately,
my pep talk doesn’t help block out what Wesley said.

“I’m
‘bout to punch you in the throat.” Lexi snarls. I can tell she’s about to lose her shit. I’m not quite sure what he said to her, but she is not happy.

“
Whatever, little girl.” Wesley replies before facing me.

H
e’s about to say something else when I hear the door crash against the wall. There is one pissed off Tucker standing in the doorway. He looks at me, then at Wesley.

Lexi
grins like a fool. She grabs my hand and pulls me out of the kitchen, leaving Wesley trapped with no way out but through Tucker.

* * *

Tucker

It took me a little longer than I wanted to reach Brenna’s apartment. As soon as I throw her door open and see him, in her kitchen, standing so close to her, it brings on rage like I’ve never experienced before. I stay in the doorway, knowing if I get close enough to reach him I may very well kill him. It’s not worth it, considering I could go to prison and risk my future with Brenna so I stay put.

Through gritted teeth, I say,
“I told you to stay the fuck away from her, didn’t I?”

“I thought there w
ere some things she should know,” he replies with a smug smile.

I know instantly he’s trying to
fill her head with lies. Brenna’s been crying. I can tell because the tip of her nose is pink. She’s staring at the floor instead of looking at me. What kind of damage has he created?

“I suggest you leave now.”

“I’ll leave when Brenna tells me too
,” Wesley replies.

Before I realize it
, I’m in the kitchen, my hand around his throat, slamming him back against the refrigerator. I lower my face to his, making sure he knows I’m not fucking playing games with him.

“
Wesley, I warned you. You have fucked with our lives enough. Take your no-good, lying ass outta here and don’t come back. If I see you near her again, that beating I gave you years ago will be nothing compared to the one you will be getting then. Consider this your final warning.”

I release
him and step back, but I never take my eyes away. I don’t trust him. He’s the type to wait for me to turn my back so he can strike.

Wesley
starts walking toward the door and stops next to Brenna and Lexi as if he’s about to say something until he glances over his shoulder and sees my face. I guess he decides it would be better for his health if he keeps his mouth shut. I’m secretly hoping for a reason to lay his ass out right now.

I
follow him out the door to make sure he leaves. When I can no longer see his car I step back inside and close the door. I stand there for a minute, trying to get my anger under control. I don’t want Brenna to think I’m angry with her.

S
omeone taps me on the back, and I look down to see Lexi.

“I’m gonna go so y’all can talk
,” she says.

I o
pen the door for Lexi and tell her, “Thank you,” then close the door behind her.

When I t
urn around, I see Brenna still staring at the floor. My heart beats faster with every step I take toward her. I have no idea what he said to her but by the way she’s acting, I can tell that he got to her. The instant I reach her, I pull her against my chest and wrap my arms around her.

In her ear I whisper.
“Whatever he said, it’s not true.”

I feel her nod against my chest
. She sniffles, but, she doesn’t speak. We stand there in silence for a few minutes before I hear a sob that cracks my heart. Whatever is going through her mind isn’t good. I’m consumed with dread, and I feel like she’s about to slip right through my fingers.

Leaning back
, I lift her chin so I can see her face. Her tears fall, and I feel that crack in my heart get bigger when her eyes finally meet mine. That look tells me she’s about to end us and I won’t let her.

I
shake my head before she even opens her mouth to speak. I don’t want to hear those words. Not now, not ever.

“Tucker
,” she says

“No Brenna, I won’t let you do this.”

“I have to. I’ve caused you enough pain and drama already. I can’t do that anymore.”

Picking her up
, I carry her into her room and I place her gently on the bed, then I kneel down beside it, looking in her eyes.

I say,
“That’s not true. What you’re saying right now… that’s what’ll cause me the most pain. I won’t let you push me away, now that I finally have you. The past doesn’t matter anymore. Right now is all that matters.”

S
he closes her eyes and another tear drifts down her temple into her hair. She still doesn’t say a word, and I know she’s not going to.

Leaning down
, I kiss her lips, hoping she can feel all the love I feel for her. My nose gets wet from her tears. I raise her shirt to press a single kiss against her stomach. My tears roll from the end of my nose, landing close to where I just kissed her skin.

I s
tand, gazing at her face once more before leaving her room.

But
I can’t leave. I don’t have it in me to walk away from her again. I go to the front door and open it, looking into the parking lot to make sure he’s not out there.

As soon as I close
the door. I hear her.

“Goodbye
, Tucker.”

Then the most heart wrenching sobs
echo from her bedroom.

Sliding down her door
, I drop my head into my hands, my own tears slipping down my face and landing on the floor. Not knowing what to do to fix this, I feel helpless. Her sobs continue and each one breaks my heart a little more.

Brenna

As soon as I hear the door shut, the dam bursts. What have I done? My heart feels like it was just ripped from my chest and thrown into a meat grinder. This is so much worse than when I was fourteen

Mom and I are going to the farm today. I’m so excited, it’s been two weeks since I’ve seen or heard from Tucker. I can feel my heart beat faster the closer we get to Pa’s house, when Mom stops the car I open the door and run toward Tucker’s house. I can hear Mom calling my name, but I don’t stop.

I wish I
’d have stopped. 

He’s gone. I can feel it before I eve
n look through the bare windows into the empty house that the boy I love has lived for so many years. I turn and run toward our tree. As soon as I reach it I drop onto the ground as tears stream down my face. I’m so confused.

Why would he leave without telling me? I can’t help but wonder if I did something wrong. If maybe he didn’t love me the way I thought he did.

The instant I feel my Pa’s arms wrap around me, I begin to cry harder.

“It’s going to be okay, Brenna.”

“N-no, it’s not,” I say between sobs. “He’s just gone, Mom. Where did they go?”

I feel my Pa shake his head as he rubs my back and holds me until I calm down.

“Sometimes in life, Brenna, you have to let go and move on. You have a bright future ahead of you.”

“I thought Tucker was my future,
” I say.

“Tucker will always be a pa
rt of you, always remember that,”  Pa says as he lifts my face up and begins to wipe my tears.

I cried for weeks after that day, but that time was nothing compared to right now. It took everything in me not to fall apart when he kissed my lips and then my stomach. I felt his tears as they landed there. As soon as he walked out of the room, I rubbed them into my skin, trying to absorb that last piece of him.

I can’t get all these thoughts out of my head. It’s like his dad’s words are replaying, and then Wesley’s are screaming through, making me doubt everything. I can’t be the source of his pain, but I know this is hurting him, too. Once again I’m the cause of his pain.

I know he loves me
, I can feel it with every kiss, every touch, and every word. I just don’t feel like I’m enough for him. What if Wesley was right about leaving being the best thing to ever happen to Tucker? I didn’t even give him a chance to defend himself. I broke my promises once again.

No
, I can’t do that.

If I break them
now then I may never get the chance to make it right again.

I can’t do it.

Jumping out of my bed, I take off toward the kitchen in search of my phone. I stop as soon as my eyes land on Tucker. He didn’t leave. He’s sitting with his back against the door, his head in his hands. I can see his shoulders shaking.

I did this to him.

I reduced this man to tears. Again.

I w
alk over to him and kneel down. I reach out, trembling, pulling his shaking hands away from his face. When he raises his head, the pain in his eyes guts me. Before I can say a word, he pulls me close, holding me so tight I can barely breathe.

I whisper,
“I’m so glad you didn’t leave. I was looking for my phone so I could call you and tell you to come back.”

The words I couldn’t say before start flowing out of me. I tell
Tucker everything Wesley said, and how it battled inside my head, the hurtful words Tucker’s dad said to me, making me doubt I was enough for him. I lay all my doubts and insecurities out there for him, wanting him to know it’s me and not him. How sorry I am that I broke all my promises, again, and that if he can forgive me I’ll never break another one for as long as we live.

Finally Tucker says.
“I couldn’t leave. I didn’t want to.”

He releases his tight hold on me
, bringing his hands to my face, gently wiping away my tears.

I r
each up and do the same for him.

Sitting here in his lap
, staring into his eyes, I can see it all. All the love, all the hope.

But I also see his
pain… the pain I caused the both of us... and I need to erase it. I do the only thing I can think of. I kiss him.

S
oftly, I press my lips against his to say, “I’m sorry,” before whispering against them. His hands slide into my hair as he takes over, brushing his lips across mine, telling me we’re okay. His tongue slides across my bottom lip, urging mine to open, and let him in. As soon as our tongues collide, we are lost in each other. 

Tucker’s fingers tighten in my hair as he devours my mouth.
I feel his love and desperation burning behind every action. And I know he’s holding me so tightly to keep me from running away again. I wrap my arms and legs tight around him, hoping he knows I’m not going anywhere.

When Tucker stands
, I lock my ankles behind his back and he walks us to my room. He lays me on the bed just as softly as he did the first time, except this time he comes down with me, never breaking our kiss, his body pressing mine further into the mattress. The world could have exploded around us in this moment and neither of us would notice.

His lips leave mine but never leave my skin
. Tucker trails kisses all over me as he removes my clothes. Soon we’re both naked, and I feel his hands on my ankles just before they slide all the way up to my inner thighs. He lets go and takes my hands, raising them over my head and entwining our fingers, lowering his face to kiss me. Our bodies unite as he takes possession of mine in one swift motion. He pulls out slowly before pushing back in. We move together, our bodies communicating more than our words could ever say.

* * *

Tucker

I don’t need to hear anything else from Brenna. I saw it all in her eyes. Felt it in her kiss. And right now, her body is speaking to mine like never before. Releasing one of her hands, I reach down and pull her leg further up my waist so I can go deeper. Moving faster and with each stroke, I feel her tighten around me, and know I’m going right along with her. By the time her orgasm hits, I bury myself deep inside her and let go.

We’re both out of breath. I roll us over so I don’t crush her with the weight of my body.
It now feels like years have passed since I sat against her front door, afraid to look at her…afraid she’d make me leave.

When she didn’t pull away
, I started to feel relieved. Hearing her pour her heart out… all her doubts and fears… I knew I could fix us. I couldn’t let him come between us again. Waiting for her to make the first move was hell when all I wanted to do was kiss her like she’s never been kissed before.

I need to reassure her that
everything Wesley said was untrue. “You know he was lying don’t you? I’ve never lied to you and I never will.”

“I knew he was lying as soon as he said it. It all just overwhelmed me and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I thought that you deserved better than someone
who causes you so much pain.”

“I love you
, Brenna. Never,
ever
doubt that. What I said earlier, I meant that. The past doesn’t matter. Let that go. I want us to focus on our future. No more running. No more hiding. And never,
ever
say goodbye to me again.”

“I love you
, too, and I’m sorry. I know ‘sorry’ isn’t enough but I have to say it. The past is the past. I’m looking forward to the future. No more goodbyes.”

I kiss her forehead and we lay there holding each other
until I realize she’s fallen asleep. The emotions and the stress had exhausted us both. I close my eyes, realizing she’s got the right idea.

* * *

I wake up with empty arms. Brenna isn’t here, but I hear the TV echoing from the living room. I get up out of bed and pull on my jeans to head out there.

Brenna comes
out of the kitchen, her eyes on her phone. I reach out to catch her before she walks right into me.

“You know
, you should watch where you’re going.” I tell her before leaning down to kiss her.

“Sorry
, I was texting Lexi. We were going to get Chinese takeout tonight and watch TV but… well, you know.” She flashes me a silly grin.

Food sounds good
. I’m starving. “She still coming over?”

“Guess that’s up to you.”
She hands me her phone.

I t
ake her phone and scroll down looking for Lexi’s name, and hit the send button. When Lexi answers I tell her to add more food to the order, and to hurry her ass up. I hand the phone back to Brenna, who looks at me like she can’t believe I just spoke to Lexi that way.

“What
?” I shrug. “I’m hungry.”

She just shakes her head and laugh
s as she takes a seat on the couch. I follow and plop down beside her, leaving a little space between us. But within seconds, she curls up into my side. She knows where she belongs.

While we’re waiting
for Lexi, I tell Brenna about Spencer. He’s been a good friend and employee for the past couple of years. I mention that I’ve considered introducing him to Lexi. As soon as I say her name, she comes through the door. I swear. I can’t decide if this chick has either bad timing or perfect timing. This time it’s perfect. I was seconds away from withering away from starvation.

“Introduce Lexi to
whom?” Lexi asks as she walks through the living room to the kitchen.

“Tucker wants you to meet his friend
, Spencer.” Brenna says. Her eyebrows waggling at Lexi, she stands and rushes off to speak to her.

I wait a moment then follow in
to the kitchen. As soon as I enter, I hear Lexi ask Brenna what he looks like. But I know Brenna has no idea because I haven’t told her. They both peer at me with expectant looks on their faces. Hell, he looks like a guy. Why do girls do this to men?

Grabbing Lexi’s hand,
I say in a high-pitched voice. “Oh my God, girl, he is
so
hot.” I fan myself sarcastically and try not to burst out laughing. I take a seat at the kitchen table, crossing my legs. They are both laughing hysterically now.

Brenna calms down and says,
“Be serious, Tucker. Tell her what he looks like.”

I
uncross my legs and take back my man card. How the hell men actually sit like that is beyond me. It’s not real comfortable.

After
Brenna hands me a container of food, she grabs a few plates and sits next to me. Lexi takes a seat across the table. Both of them are quiet, waiting on me to describe Spence.

“Al
l right.” I scoop some food onto my plate. “He’s about my height, a little leaner than me, and has dark hair.” I wait to see if that’s good enough.

Lexi’s eyes widen.
“Eyes, teeth?  I need to know these things.”

I reply,
“He has both.”

Brenna backhands me in the stomach and laughs at the glare Lexi
shoots my way. “What? I answered her.”

Lexi groans.
“You suck. You know that.”

I shrug.
“Dark hair. And he has all his teeth, I reckon. I’m a guy, Lexi. We don’t pay much attention to that stuff.”

Guess that satisf
ies them since they are both now quietly focused on their food. Finally, I’m able to satisfy my own hunger. Lexi sticks around for a little while longer, then goes back to her own place for the night. Brenna and I lie on the couch and watch TV a little longer before heading to the bedroom. I’ll see about moving her to my house now, instead of later this week. After Wesley’s surprise visit, I think she will agree.