REMEDY: A Mafia Romance (Return to Us Trilogy Book 3) (12 page)

"Of course it does. Your opinion is important to me."

"I mean, it's your choice. We can't make it for you, hon. If I were to tell you what I thought you should do, then you wouldn't come to it as your own declaration."

"Well, you're no help." I laugh and gaze into my brown liquid. "You're right though."

"Listen, Ivy." She wiggles her butt closer to the backsplash. "I agree with him."

We lock eyes. Does she think I don't know my own mind? I long for him. Evermore. I can't go a single day without seeing his charismatic dimple, the press of his hand on my lower back when we walk together, or the stare in his predatory eyes as he stalks me from between my thighs.

"This decision affects your whole future. I wish someone had pulled me aside before my wedding to see if I really wanted to do it. Just as I chose to marry Greg, you have to come to your own verdict. Without anyone's input."

"What really troubles me is he didn't tell me to stay. He gave me the choice when I didn't want one. Does that sound strange? Like he was pushing me away. Trying to get me to leave him." I admit my fears to her.

"Honey, he wants you to realize who he is and jump in with him with both feet planted. I give him props for that." She raises her cup in appreciation and chugs the rest of her cider.

"I guess."

"What?" She picks up on the hesitation in my agreement.

"Well, he hasn't done much more than kiss me and hold my hand in three weeks, and now he's forcing distance between us. He says he wants me and he's following doctor's orders, but my gut tells me there's more to it."

"Doctor's orders?"

I lower my chin and give her a serious face. "No orgasms for five weeks."

Her eyes widen. "Oh. That sucks."

"It does. The gunpowder loaded between us is packed so thick, one of us is bound to self-combust. But he's also been withdrawing from me since I was shot."

"So, he's got some deeper issues."

"He says he doesn't feel worthy of me."

"Hmm. Well, that's another facet of his personality, and if you want to be his woman, dealing with his insecurities will be part of your relationship."

"I will gladly spend the rest of my life convincing Jacade of his worthiness."

"Aww, you guys are too cute. I say take the time he's giving you and think about it all. Okay?"

I nod and take a gulp of the cider.

"So…" My pitch arches from high to low as I drag out the word. "How are you and Shane?" I wink at her.

She sighs and spins her mug on the counter between her legs. "Who the hell knows?"

"You don't know?"

"He hasn't contacted me. We had two earth-shattering nights, but since he got hurt, he's a wall of steel. The first time I saw him since the accident was at the hospital, and he acted like I didn't exist."

"He's so serious all the time. I've never seen him smile."

Bryn grins at me and her white teeth sparkle. "I've made him smile."

I laugh. "You do have a way of breaking through to people. What did you say?"

"Well, the first time we did it, he didn't speak a word to me. He attacked me in the dark, and I let it happen because I wanted it and he was unstoppable. After we both came hard, the room was deadly quiet, and I could feel him closing down. I said,
Next time
,
you're buying me dinner first
. He didn't respond for a second, like he thought I was serious. Then he broke into a heart-melting smile and laughed a hearty laugh from his gut. His whole demeanor changes when he smiles." Her eyes grow distant. "The second time he came over, he brought me Thai takeout." She quirks her lips.

I laugh. "Oh, he sounds sweet. I knew Shane had soft side. And it sounds like a funny side too."

"He does, but he keeps them hidden deep under his hard exterior. It hurts because he shuts down so completely, I wonder if I imagined the smile and his laugh." She frowns down at the counter.

"I kinda hate Shane right now for making you feel this way."

"It doesn't matter. I'm still legally married to Greg. I'm not ready for anything yet."

"Did you know Shane was married?"

"No. I've tried, but he refuses to talk about himself or his past."

"If you're gonna be with Shane, he's with Jacade all the time. There's no guarantee some of Jacade's shit won't bleed into Shane's life. He could get hurt again. You'd be in danger too."

"Yeah." She's quiet for a moment. "But if my bestie is gonna be involved with Jacade—and I'm not giving her up for nothing—I'll need a good bodyguard."

"True. True. Let's make a deal," I say in a bright voice. "I promise I'll take the time to think about what Jacade said to me if you promise to give Shane time to work through his demons and come back to you."

"Deal." She jumps off the counter and offers me her arm. "Elbow swear?"

I link arms with her. "Elbow swear."

"Wanna sleepover?"

"Umm, it depends. Have you changed your sheets since Shane was here?"

She flashes a sheepish grin. "I'll change them now."

"Eww! You better."

***

Ivy

The first two days without Jacade are like Chinese fingernail torture. The fear he's not coming back sticks into my cartilage like bamboo skewers. The rejection stings because I'm sure he loves me and he's pushing me away out of some misplaced chivalry. I hold onto the hope I saw in his eyes, the set of his jaw telling me how he longed to touch me. He said he'd miss me
more than you can imagine
.

I talk to Bryn a few times, and she repeats the reassuring words she said to me two nights ago after Jacade declared I should spend ten days in purgatory.

I'm lying on the couch watching
Growing Up Gotti
when my phone rumbles on the glass coffee table. Who is calling me at eleven pm? My stomach drops at the one-word text.

J: Hey

Me: Hey yourself

A few minutes pass.

J: Miss you

Me: ditto

He doesn't reply, but I'm happy he contacted me.

The next night my phone rings around the same time as last night's text.

"Hi."

"Hi." He sounds like an awkward high school kid.

After a few seconds of silence, he says, "What are you wearing?" in his deep, scratchy drawl, ironic humor coloring his tone.

My laughter shatters the wall of ice between us.

"Can't you see me with your spy camera?"

"Actually, I can. Fuzzy pink slippers, no bra, sexy as hell." His languid voice hints he's been drinking.

"Mmm. You want to watch me touch myself?"

His groan turns into a hearty laugh. "No, no, naughty girl. Eleven days until five weeks."

"Oh, you're counting the days?"

"The days, the minutes, the seconds." He draws out his words, and my ear tingles like he's just licked it.

"Good night, Jacade."

"Night, my love."

On day four of our forced separation, Shane picks me up in his new Escalade and escorts me downtown to east end of the Loop. His stone-cold expression makes it clear we won't be chatting on the drive. That's fine because I'm nervous about meeting with Dr. Kelch's wife—Tabitha—as the tall, African American woman asks me to call her as I enter her office. At first, I'm intimidated by her opulent office on the sixty-ninth floor of the Aon Center and the eight inches of height she has on me, but her genial smile puts me at ease, and we bond over her killer Miu Miu studded-heel sandals.

We take a seat in her comfy chairs. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Good. Fine. Your husband saved my life."

She grins. "Armond will love hearing that."

"How did you meet him?"

"I was in medical school and interned under him. He was a total jerk. I fought him off for a long time, but he was damn persistent and I finally gave in."

"He sounds like Jacade. I wish I'd actually met him, but I was unconscious the whole time."

"So, is there anything you wanted to ask me?"

"Do all the wives know their husbands are involved in… uh… questionable business practices?"

"No. The code of honor swears them to secrecy. Jacade took a huge gamble by bringing you into the fold."

"I think he was trying to scare me away."

"And did it work?"

"No. I know he'll protect me."

She nods. "I forced Armond to come clean with me before I married him. He was getting phone calls, disappearing in the middle of the night. I thought he was cheating on me. Some women are okay not knowing the details as long as the money keeps rolling in, but not me."

She makes me comfortable enough to unload portions of my story on her, but I don't tell her about my identity or my encounter with Jacade when I was eighteen. We focus on the risks Jacade told me to consider. I tell her how much I love him and the unshakable feeling of being connected on such a soulful level. How he's so ferociously protective of me and commanding and adoring. She sighs when I tell her how he brought me to the ER in Delia. By the end, she has stars in her eyes, and Jacade has won her over without even being here.

She leans down to give me a goodbye hug. "Thank you, Tabitha. Our talk reaffirms my decision. I belong with him. He just needs to come claim me."

"Good luck. I'll see you soon. Oh, Armond and Jude take an annual ski trip to Crystal Mountain from Christmas to New Year's. You two should join us. We can do a spa day while they ski then cuddle up with our men by the fire at night."

"I'd like that, but I'd probably want to be out there on the slopes with the guys."

"We can do that too. And call me anytime. Really. It's nice to have someone to talk to about this whacked crap."

I laugh at her honesty. "Thank you, Tabitha. You're an angel."

***

Jacade

Bomp
.
Bomp
.
Biff
.

I could punch this leather bag to shreds and it wouldn't dampen the frustration of five days apart from Ivy and close to five weeks without fucking her or jacking off.

As I reach for a jump rope, I spot Chowder in the monitor that shows the west-side street view.

Joe calls up, and I tell him to grant him access. I open the door to a tense and spaced-out Chowder. His sallow cheeks and dirty clothes remind me of my mom. He drags his fingers through his greasy hair.

"Trip." He walks by me, favoring his right foot. "Bernie set up a meet with Boothby at two pm."

I knew that, but I appreciate the display of loyalty, Chuck. Perhaps my old friend isn't completely lost to me.

"Where?"

"On Bernard's yacht. Sunset Bay Marina. The Enchantress."

And he's giving accurate information.

"Thanks, man. What's going on between you two?"

"He cut me off after you saw us together. He doesn't want me anymore."

"Huh. Interesting." What's Bernard up to now?

"He talks about you," Chowder says, dejected.

"He does?"

He takes one step toward me and I reflexively brace. "Do you love him?" he asks me.

"What? Fuck no. I despise the man."

Why the hell is he asking me this?

I've only loved one man
.
He doesn't swing my way
.
Loyal to one woman
.

He couldn't have meant me?

Oh, fuck no. Goddamn bastard.

"You think Bernard has a thing for me?"

"I'm not sure. He brought you in to work with him."

"To protect Ivy. Listen, there's nothing romantic or sexual between me and Bernard. I've followed his orders for years, and he helped me get where I am. That's it. The end."

"He kicked me to the curb after the night you saw us together at the track."

"He's probably worried about exposure, which he shouldn't be. If it got out he's bisexual, I doubt anyone would care. It doesn't matter anyway. He knows I'm loyal to Ivy. And I don't fuck men."

"Okay." He looks at his shoes and shuffles his feet.

I relax my stance. "Chowder, take a break. You don't have to shadow Bernard anymore. I relieve you of your order. Call Helen, and she'll check you into the rehab center. Get yourself off the blow before you do something stupid. I'll cover the costs."

He looks at me to gauge my veracity. I'm being square with him.

"Coming down is no fun, Trip."

"I know. But you gotta do it. That shit will ruin you."

He squints. "That shit made you."

I warn him with my eyes. He speaks the truth, but I don't appreciate the disrespect. Never cross the line.

"Goodbye, Chowder. Thanks for letting me know about the meet."