Remainder (13 page)

He shrugs at the question. “My whole life, I think.  It just never seemed right, what is done to clones, the way they are treated. I became an Enforcer to try and help clones. In a small way, I try to make a difference. That and I am really good at combat.” He chuckles a little and looks at me.

“You’ve made a difference for me.” His smile fades into a frown.

“Not enough.”

“Nothing's your fault, Alec. You don’t have the power to stop Bailey or Killian. You could lose your job if you tried and then you couldn't help anyone.”

“Yeah.”

I decide to change the subject. “Why do you like to look at the stars?” I ask and look up at the dark cloudy sky.

“They are bright and beautiful when there are no clouds in the sky. They give me hope that there is more. More out there than all this.” He waves his hand in the air to emphasize his point. “This can’t be all there is. I have to believe that we will discover other people, other societies, and that things will get better,” he says with hope in his voice.

“Do you have a family?” I ask, hoping to find out more about him.  

“No. My folks died when I was young. I don’t remember them.”

“Who raised you?”

“An older man in the Laborer sector. He didn’t have a family of his own and he took me in. He taught me everything I know. He built furniture. I can pretty much build anything out of wood. He was a kind, gentle man. He was kind to everyone, including clones. He would always tell me that without clones, we couldn’t survive and we need to always be grateful to them.” Alec smiles as if he is retrieving a good memory.

“What happened to him?” I ask, afraid of the answer.

“He died a few years ago. He was very old.”

“I’m sorry. How did you become an Enforcer if you were raised in the Laborer sector? I thought you had to be born into a sector?” I remember that point from my conversation with Milo when I learned that Alden could never be a Researcher.

“It was Killian. He saw me when I was a teenager, fighting in the streets. When I turned eighteen, he offered me a position with the Enforcers. Of course, I accepted. I’ve been lucky. I was selected by the lottery to have a clone made, I was taken in and raised by a nice man, and I was offered a position that allowed me to use my talents. I’ve been more fortunate than most.”

“You deserve it.”  I take his hand in mine and turn it so that I can easily see the tattoo on his wrist. I rub my thumb over his Enforcer mark on his wrist, the lion head roaring. “Did it hurt?” I ask.

“No, it didn’t.” He takes my hand and entwines his fingers in mine. His dark brown eyes look intently into mine, his serious demeanor coming back. “Remy, I.” A small laugh escapes my lips. “What’s so funny?” he asks with curiosity.

“Nothing. It’s not really funny. It’s just...you called me Remy. It feels good to have a name instead of a number. It sounds even better coming from you.” I look back at him and my gaze matches his in intensity. I feel a rush of emotion as I look into his eyes. The feeling of treading on dangerous territory overwhelms me. A rush of fear unsettles me as I gaze at him. What I am feeling and what I think he is feeling is not safe, not permitted, and punishable.

All of a sudden rain pours from the sky, breaking my thoughts and sending us in a fit of laughter as we scramble to get up and run to the door where the awning will shield us. We stand under the awning staring at each other and laughing at our drenched appearance. Alec takes his thumb and wipes away drops of water from my chin. My laughter subsides and I stare up into his beautiful dark eyes.

“Don’t go into the lab,” he whispers. “Please.” His tone is more pleading with the added nicety.

“I have to. If you want me to believe that I am more than a clone, that I have any choice in my own life, then let me do this. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines watching anymore.”

Alec smiles a knowing smile, as though he understands my stubbornness. His eyes sparkle as they look at me with such dark intensity that I have to remember to breathe. “May I kiss you, Remy?”

I see what he is trying to do and I smile. He wants me to feel as though I have choices. He doesn’t want to take what I don’t want to give. The question he asks is simple, but it has a complicated answer. If I agree then I am stepping into new dangerous territory and if I say ‘no’, my heart will never forgive me. Distrusting of my voice, I nod in my head in permission.

His hand moves to the back of my head and he brings his lips down to mine. Soft kisses tickle my lips, and I wrap my arms around his neck. His other arm encircles my waist and he gently pulls me close to him. With his tough Enforcer exterior, his gentleness surprises me. He pulls back and puts his forehead against mine. His arms still hold me, as though he is afraid to let go. I don’t mind because it feels right being in his arms. It is a sense of protectiveness, like as long as I am in his arms, everything will be alright.

“This is dangerous, Remy,” he whispers.

“I know,” I whisper back. I close my eyes and take in the feel of him.

“If we were to ever get caught, they would do horrible things to us….to you. I couldn’t bear it. I tried not to feel this way toward you.” He pulls his head back and I open my eyes. He gently strokes my hair. “There is something about you that draws me to you. I noticed it the first day we met. I wanted to protect you, to be close to you. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.” I can see the sadness in his eyes and I know that it would destroy him if something happened to me because of this risk we are taking.

“Nothing is going to happen to me or to you. We will be careful. I want this too, Alec. I want to be with you.”

He pulls me close and kisses me again. We stand under the awning, holding and kissing each other while the rain sings to us with every fallen drop. In that moment, we are not a clone and a pure blood. We are a man and a woman who need each other. We are not thinking about the war that is brewing around us. For a little while we obtain some clarity amongst the chaos and nothing else in this world matters, except us. A fire has started in my heart and it only burns for him.

I am sitting on a bed, looking at a picture book. A woman sits behind me with one arm wrapped around me, and the other arm holding the book in front of me. My head rests on her chest and my fingers twirl in her long blonde hair. I can’t see her face, but I know it is the same woman from my previous dream. Her voice is soft and loving as it reads to me. She changes her voice with every character in the book and I laugh out loud, a genuine laugh of a happy child. A familiar scent of lavender and vanilla fills my nostrils and I just know it is coming from her. She holds me close, gives me a tight squeeze and plants a kiss on my head. I feel warm, safe, and loved.

I wake from my dream with a feeling of contentedness. For the first time, since I have been here, I wake feeling happy. I still feel strange about the realness of my dreams; however, I am glad this one was not a nightmare. I lie on my back and stretch my limbs as memories from last night come flooding back to my mind. A small smile encompasses my lips as I remember Alec. He held me, kissed me, and wants to be with me. Tingles radiate through me at the thought of him. As much as I would like to lay in bed all day and think about Alec and the way he makes me feel, I know that I must get up. I have an important mission to accomplish for Rhydia and the Resistance. I must get into Killian’s lab and find out what is in there.

Alec drew me a map of how to get down to his lab. It is located in an old bunker under the mansion. According to Alec, apparently there are a lot of bunkers and even a system of tunnels that run underneath the city that were built and used during the outbreak of the disease. The problem is not going to be locating Killian’s lab, but getting in. He would be crazy not to have some sort of security to protect the contents of his lab. All I can do is wait until I am face to face with the entrance to see what I am up against before I can figure out how I can get in. Tonight, while everyone else is asleep, I will venture to Killian’s lab and try to get in. I just hope that I do not get caught. If I do get caught, I am not sure what will be done to me. I am pretty sure that Killian will not kill me as he needs me for Bailey, so that is a little bit of a relief. However, there are plenty of things that can be done to someone to cause pain without killing them. I wipe the unpleasant thoughts from my mind and get out of bed.

Today I have to go back to the Research sector to give more blood for Bailey. It is not time for her transfusion, however, Killian demands that once a month, I go donate blood so that Bailey can have a stash for backup purposes. He wanted to take blood every two weeks, but one of the doctors convinced him that would be too much in a short period of time and my body has to have an opportunity to replenish the lost blood.

I do my normal getting ready routine: shower, brush teeth, and get dressed. I gather my hair to split it and put it in the usual braid, however, this morning I feel different. As I stand in front of the mirror and gaze at my reflection, I see that my appearance is different as well.  I have color in my cheeks and my eyes appear to be brighter. A smile encompasses my lips and I finally see the difference. I look happy. My mood has overflowed onto my outer shell. I decide to leave my hair down and free flowing. As it air dries, blond waves begin to form. Today, I want my outside appearance to reflect my mood.

I have been to the Research Center so frequently that I now have the route memorized. The Enforcer, Orlando, accompanies me since it is Alec's day off. As we come out of the Enforcer sector, I can see the tall glass structure of the Research Center in the distance. It takes exactly twenty-six minutes to get to the Research Center from Killian's estate. I have come to look forward to the ride. It gives me a chance to have some peace and quiet. It is nice not to hear Bailey's constant whining and complaining or to feel the paranoia that my every move is being watched by Killian. In the MR2, I can look out the window, take in the scenery and get lost in my thoughts. I observe the mountains around us. They are beautiful, spanning out to the horizon. They are green with the occasional hue of orange, yellow, and red; a promise that fall is soon to come. The really tall mountains have snow-covered peaks. I wonder how high they are in comparison to the valley I sit in now. I close my eyes and imagine myself standing on the top of one of those peaks in the snow looking down on Avalon. I spread my arms as though I am flying and feel the wind against my face whipping through my hair. I can’t help but wonder if I would feel free. I open my eyes and see that we are almost to the tall glass structure. The sun shines brightly on the building, making it sparkle like a single giant diamond.

I walk in the building and check in with the red-haired receptionist. She barely glances at me and mumbles in a monotone voice for me to take a seat in the waiting area. She's obviously not having a good day. I sit patiently and wait for Alden to come collect me to take my blood. I am glad it is Alden who usually assists me. He often stays in the room with me and chats while we wait for the IV bag to fill. We talk about his family. He tells me about how his mom and dad met while working on a project together and fell in love. He tells me of his desire to become a Researcher, but he knows it is not possible for him to do so. He believes that he might be able to find a way to cure the pure bloods so they no longer have to obtain blood from clones in order to survive. He says then the clones can be free and have the same luxuries afforded to pure bloods. It's a win-win. It is a nice dream; one that I hope comes true. His idealistic positive nature is admirable. It is easy for him to be optimistic since he has no reason not to be. He is not a clone and he doesn’t know what it is like to fear for your life every day. I am thankful for Alden's optimism and find it refreshing. He has a knack for lifting my spirits when they are down.

I see Alden coming down the corridor to the waiting area. His smile is big, showing off his pearly white teeth, and he waves at me. I smile back and wave. It is hard not to smile when around Alden. I find his smile to be contagious. It gives him a look of boyish innocence. Innocence that I hope he never loses. Alden leads me back to the usual room. It consists of multiple black reclining chairs, which add contrast to the bare white walls. I take a seat in one of the chairs and try my best to relax. I should be used to the needles by now; however after my first experience with the blood transfusion, I still get apprehensive. It's not really the needles or even giving blood that makes me uneasy. It's the feeling of weakness, being sick, and passing out that I’m afraid will happen again. Luckily, though, ever since that first time, I haven’t had any issues. Alden thinks that I stressed myself out the first time and that is why my body reacted the way it did. He says that pretty soon, my body will not be fazed at all by the loss of two pints of blood.

Alden takes my arm and rubs gauze with alcohol in the crease of my elbow. I look away as I feel the familiar prick of the sharp point invading my vein.

"Just try and relax, Rem....uh Enforcer-656. As you know, this won't take long." Alden beams another pearly white smile at me.

The blood begins to flow through the clear tube into the bag. I try to do as Alden says and relax, but how relaxed can one be with a needle stuck in your arm draining your blood?

“So why blood?” I ask.

“What do you mean?” Alden asks.

“I’ve never heard it explained how the blood helps with the sickness.”

Alden beams. He loves any reason to be able to discuss science related topics.

“Well, the disease that wiped out the majority of the population affected the blood. First, it destroyed the white blood cells so that the infected person couldn’t fight against the disease. Then it started eating away at the red blood cells and eventually spread to major organs before killing the patient. The doctors couldn’t do blood transfusions fast enough. The people, who survived, still have the disease, but it is a weaker version of it. Blood transfusions were performed and scientists found that pure untainted blood was the answer.”

“That’s why clones are needed,” I say more to myself than him.

“Exactly. It’s almost like being back in the dark ages. In medieval times, doctors believed that bleeding a person of their diseased blood would make them better because the patient’s body would make new blood. Unfortunately for the survivors of Avalon, our new blood is just as bad as the old. That is why we do blood transfusions. What’s worse is that the disease is passed down to our children. Until a cure is found, we will need the blood of clones to survive.”

“Do you think they will ever find a cure?” I ask

“I am hopeful that they will. Then clones can live like the rest of us.” Alden beams his boyish grin that is usually contagious. However, this time it is not. I look away, unable to share in his optimism. Even if a cure is found, I am hard pressed to believe that clones will be permitted to live as free citizens of Avalon.

“We are half way there. How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine.”

“You don’t feel sick, weak, or like you are going to pass out?”

“No. I feel great.”

“It’s amazing how quickly your body regenerates itself after losing blood,” Alden exclaims fascinated. I smile at his intrigued look. I believe with my whole heart that he would make a great Researcher. It saddens me that he will never have the chance.

The door forcefully flies open, startling both of us. A young Asian girl comes barreling through the door and falls to the ground. Alden rushes over to her to help her up. Her hair is tousled around her pretty face and fear encompasses her almond-shaped brown eyes. She doesn’t wear red so she is not a clone. She holds onto Alden as though he is a life preserver and she is in danger of drowning.

“Help me. Help me, please,” she pleads. There is something familiar about her, however, I can’t place where I’ve seen her.

“Calm down. It’s okay. What’s going on?” Alden asks.

“Don’t let them find me.”

“Who? Don’t let who find you?”

“The mutants.” I stare at the scene unfolding before me, unable to speak. Alden and I exchange puzzled looks. The girl looks terrified as she clings to Alden. I open my mouth to ask her what she’s talking about when two Enforcers come in and grab her, tearing her from Alden. She screams and thrashes in an effort to get away from the Enforcers. She says she doesn’t want to go back. Back to where, I am not sure. As the last pint of blood flows out of my body, Alden and I sit in silence, the wheels turning in our heads. Finally, I can’t stand it anymore and decide to ask Alden his thoughts.

“What do you think she was talking about?”

“I wish I knew,” Alden sighs.

“She looked so scared.”

“Maybe something was wrong with her. Mentally. She was talking about mutants. She obviously needs help.”

“I don’t know. Something doesn’t feel right, like she is in danger.”

“I hope you’re wrong.”

“Me too.”

“I am sure she is going to get the help she needs.” Alden beams his confident “everything is going to be alright” smile. I smile back even though I still feel uneasy. Alden is right, the girl could be mentally ill. However, there was something about the way she clung to Alden and the haunted look in her eyes that make me think differently.